Chapter Nine

 

 

Monday evening Ray glanced at Katie sitting at the far end of the couch. She looked good in his living room. “I’m relieved Emily’s sleeping better. Bringing the contents of her bedroom here was genius. I wish I’d thought of it.”

“I’m glad she’s not so upset. Her grief counselor is probably helping as well.”

“Maybe.” He wasn’t sure how much good the woman was doing. He hadn’t seen any improvement until Katie started taking care of her. Now Emily was more content. Not herself yet, but perhaps her new self. “Did you pass out the invitations I had printed?”

“A few. Some of the kids in my art class want to come.” She shrugged. “We’ll see if they do or not.”

“Either way, it was nice that they wanted to.”

She nodded and folded her hands in her lap. “Do you think you could help me with something? Normally I’d ask Brandi, but with her wedding this weekend, I hate to bother her.”

“I’ll do my best.” He shifted to better face her and wished they were closer. The thought surprised him. Then again, over the past week, they’d spent a lot of time together and had grown closer than he’d expected in such a short period.

“I received a call from my social worker earlier today.”

“You have a social worker?” Now this was news.

“No. Not now. She handled my case when I was in foster care.”

“Oh, I see. Why would she be calling you so many years later?”

“She checks up on me from time to time. But that’s not why she called.” Katie took a deep breath and let it out slowly as if to calm herself. “My mom is back and wants to connect with me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Whoa. That’s big.” Now he understood why she was jumpy after taking that call.

She shrugged. “I’ve thought about it all day, and I’m no closer to a solution. I think about Emily and how she’d do anything to see her mom again. I feel ungrateful because I’m not sure I want to see mine.” She looked his way, and their gazes locked.

Hurt, pain, and confusion filled her eyes. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“No. It makes you human.”

“Thanks.”

“Maybe you should make a list of pros and cons.”

“You sound like Renee.”

He chuckled. “I do, don’t I?” He was glad they could share memories of his sister and that Katie wasn’t afraid to talk about her. He reached across the cushion between them and grasped her hand. “Pros?”

“I’d like to see if we look anything alike. She took off so long ago my memory has faded since the one picture I had as a kid was taken away.” She looked to him. “One of my foster parents confiscated it as a punishment and never gave it back.”

“That was a bit excessive and mean.” He fisted his free hand. It was no wonder she was cautious around people she didn’t know well. He hurt for her and wished he could give her a do-over.

“Perhaps, but I probably deserved it. I was a very troubled girl and acted out a lot.”

“I can’t imagine.” He really couldn’t. From what he’d seen, Katie was a sweet, mild-mannered woman with a kind heart. This person she hinted at did not sound like her at all. “But back to the list. You want to see what she looks like. It’s probably good to get a medical history, too, if she’s willing.”

“Good point. But I don’t know if I want a relationship with her.”

“Maybe she’s changed.”

“It’s possible. I sure have.” She ducked her head.

He smiled. “Why are you suddenly the color of a perfectly cooked lobster?”

“I still can’t believe I proposed to you.”

He chuckled. “You were braver than me. I was going to, but I got cold feet.”

She sat up straight and turned her body to face him. “Seriously. You planned to propose? When?”

“That day I requested you come to my office, but then I felt like I’d be putting you on the spot and didn’t ask, even though I felt the Lord tell me to ask you.”

“Do you mean to tell me you were really going to ask me?” She grinned and the bright red faded to her normal color.

He nodded. “After you planted the idea in my mind that night at the diner, I couldn’t let it go.”

She giggled.

He chuckled. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. I just find this very amusing—to think I felt self-conscious about being the one to propose. I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Good.” He pulled her closer and hugged her to his side. “I have high hopes for us, Katie. And I enjoy spending time with you like this.”

She stilled in his arm. “Yeah. Me, too,” she said softly. She shifted and her eyes met his.

His breath hitched. If he didn’t know better he’d think he read love there. Clearly, he wasn’t good at reading women, because there was no way she had strong feelings for him—yet. Then again, his own were rapidly moving in that direction. He drew closer to her.

She blinked and broke the contact. “I still don’t know what to do about my mom.”

He dragged his mind back to the topic. “I suggest you continue to think through the pros and cons. Then pray and consider the worst that could happen if you do let her into your life.”

“Good advice. I suppose we could meet on neutral ground, set up by Cassandra, then go from there. I don’t have to let her into my life to meet with her.”

“True. And if you need backup, I could come along.”

Her eyes widened. “You’d do that for me?”

“Absolutely.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “It’s getting late.”

She sat up then stood. “You’re right, and Emily doesn’t sleep in either. ’Night, Ray.”

“I’ll walk you to your door. I don’t like the idea of you being outside alone at this time of night, even if it is a short distance.” They lived in a relatively safe neighborhood, but he was suddenly feeling protective.

“Thanks.” A smile lit her eyes. “It’s only ten, but I won’t turn down the escort.” She slipped her hand around his arm and walked silently beside him all the way to her apartment door. She turned to him. “Good night.”

He touched a hand to her face—so soft. Somehow, she already held his heart.

Her eyes widened, and she stilled.

“May I kiss you?” he spoke the words softly.

She nodded in the glow of the garage light.

His lips met hers ever so briefly—a teaser for what was to come—some day, he hoped. “Sleep well.” He waited until he heard the lock slip into place then went back inside his house. Though he couldn’t honestly say he loved her, could it be too much to hope for good things to come for them?

 

 

Katie touched a finger to her lips as she stood on the other side of her apartment door. She’d never sleep now! There was no way her mind would shut off after such a sweet kiss. She yawned…then again, maybe she could sleep. She had a four-year-old to care for all day tomorrow.

How was it she could feel so many different emotions in one evening? Fear, frustration, confusion, contentment, peace, and dare she go there—love. No, it was too soon. What they shared wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. Strong liking was more accurate. Yes, she very much liked Ray and hoped that things would continue to progress with him, but there was so much more to consider. Her mom for starters. She needed to get back to Cassandra as soon as possible if she was going to meet her mom. She wanted to do it before the wedding, which left tomorrow or Wednesday. What do I do, Lord?

She quickly readied for bed then clicked off the lamp. Maybe she’d know what to do by morning.

A buzzing sound awakened Katie. She opened her eyes and squinted at the sun shining in from the windows. She reached over and grabbed her phone. “Hello.”

“I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Cassandra?”

“Yes. Your mom is sitting beside my desk.”

Katie sat straight up. “What is she doing there? Can she hear us talking?”

“No. I walked out of earshot, but I can still see her.”

“What does she want?”

“She says she only wants to see you.”

“What should I do? How does she look?”

“She looks put together. Whether you meet her or not is your choice.”

Katie fisted her hand around the sheets. “I don’t know. I want to see her, but I don’t want to open the door to a relationship with her.”

“Why not meet at a neutral place like a Starbucks. You’d at least be able to see what she looks like now and then make a decision at that point.”

“How will I know who she is?” Katie would never recognize her mom after all these years. She could barely remember what she used to look like.

“Trust me. You’ll know.”

“Okay. I’ll do it.” She had questions she wanted answered, and this might be her only chance to find out the answers.

“I’ll tell her to be there in an hour,” Cassandra said.

“Whoa. It’s not that simple. I need time to plan. I’m a nanny, and I can’t bring a four-year-old along.”

“Why not?”

“Never mind. I’ll figure something out.” She rambled off the address of the Starbucks around the corner from The Ring. “Go ahead and tell her I’ll meet her there, but make it two hours.”

“Okay. Let me know how it goes.”

“Sure. I don’t suppose you want to join us?”

“I can’t. Swamped as usual.”

“Okay. I know you said I’d know her, but will you tell me what she looks like anyway?

“She has red hair, and she’s wearing a Mariners’ T-shirt.”

“Thanks.” Decision made, she quickly readied herself then raced down the stairs and into Ray’s house. “Morning.” She went straight for the coffeepot.

“What are you doing?” Ray asked.

“I’m meeting my mom in two hours at Starbucks.”

He took the pot from her hand. “Go easy on that stuff. I make it super strong. You’ll get the shakes if you drink a whole cup.”

“Oh, thanks for the warning. I’m already shaking.” Her gaze shot around the kitchen. “Where’s Emily? She’s usually up by now.”

“Hailey stopped by a few minutes ago and took her.”

“Was that planned?” She frowned. As Emily’s nanny, she ought to have a handle on the girl’s schedule.

“Hailey called early this morning. She’ll drop Emily at the community center this afternoon.” He looked her way. “I know you think Emily shouldn’t spend a lot of time with my sister, but Hailey is hurting, too, and being with Emily is good for her.”

“You’re right. I didn’t think of that.” She hadn’t wanted to bring Emily, but over the past thirty minutes she’d decided having Emily along might be a nice buffer. Then again, Katie had no idea what kind of person her mom was. It was probably best not to have Emily come along.

“Hey.” Ray faced her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay? I can come with you if you need moral support.”

Did she want him there? Yes. But shouldn’t she do this on her own? “I don’t know. What if she’s horrible?”

“What if she’s wonderful? I’d like to meet her.”

“Why? And I guarantee she’s not wonderful. She abandoned me with an abusive father.” She slapped a hand to her mouth. She had not meant to reveal that. No one knew. She’d kept that hidden from everyone.

Ray frowned. “Your dad hurt you?”

She nodded. Years of keeping her secret hidden and suddenly revealing it burst a dam. Her throat thickened. She looked away. “I need to go.”

“Why?” He removed his hands from her shoulders.

Cold filled the area where his hands had been. She had to look pathetic in his eyes; breaking down in front of him was not an option. 

“Let me be here for you, Katie.” His voice softened. “That’s what good friends do.”

Her watery eyes met his. A tear escaped. She turned her face, refusing to give in to the overwhelming emotions attacking her. She took a shuttering breath.

“Ah, Katie. Come here.” He gently drew her to him and held her.

Her face heated as tears burned her throat. Ray’s heartbeat pulsed in her ear. Overcome with his tender care, a sob ripped through her.

Ray’s arms tightened around her.

How could her mom have left her with Dad? She’d known what he was like. She should have taken Katie with her. Tears flowed unchecked. Her body shook, and she clung to Ray.

His hand gently rubbed her back. He didn’t offer any words, only silent support.

The wracking tears finally stopped. She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m sorry. I’m okay now.” She lowered her hands to her side and stepped out of his embrace.

He tore a paper towel off the roll and handed it to her.

“Thanks. I didn’t mean to lose it on you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. How do you feel now?”

She splashed water on her face then dried it with the towel. “Embarrassed but relieved at the same time. It feels good to finally tell someone.”

“What can I do?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“I’m not. I’m boiling mad that you were hurt like that.”

Her eyes widened. His anger was nothing compared to her dad’s rage. He was a violent drunk, and one night he hit the wrong person—a cop—and when the man fell, he struck his head and died. “When my dad went to prison, it was a relief. But at the same time, I was only thirteen, and I was scared, and angry, too. My parents failed me, and it hurt.”

“What did your dad do to you?”

“He hit me when he got drunk. But he was smart. He only hit me where he knew no one would see.”

“Did he hurt your mom, too?”

Katie nodded. She’d never abandon her own child like her mother had.

“I’d like to come with you today.” His voice was soft yet firm.

“Okay. But let me do the talking.”

“Fine, but I won’t let her hurt you anymore.” His fierce gaze bore into hers. “I’m serious. One misstep on her part and we’re leaving.”

She nodded and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “Thanks. I need to go redo my face.”

“I’ll make us breakfast.”

She rushed up to her apartment in a daze-like state. Without a doubt, Ray was a good man—the kind of man who seemed to only exist in her dreams. That wasn’t fair though. Ian was also a good guy. She was so thankful neither of them drank. There was no way she’d ever get involved with a guy who drank, even if he didn’t get drunk—too many bad memories to go there. She washed her face and reapplied a light coat of makeup. Her normal jeans and T-shirt suddenly didn’t feel right. She grabbed the black A-line skirt she reserved for special occasions and her favorite red top then slipped into black ballet flats. If she was going to see her mom today, she wanted to look her best.

Ray glanced over his shoulder when she entered the kitchen. “You changed.”

“Too much?” She looked down at the ensemble.

“Just right. And you won’t need your coat to hide in either.” He flipped two pancakes onto a plate.

She stuck her tongue out at him.

He chuckled. “Syrup’s in the fridge.”

“Thanks. They’re gluten free?” There was no way she could eat. Her stomach was a mess with nerves, but she’d try for Ray.

“Of course. I used the mix you bought. He grabbed his plate and parked himself beside her. “Eat up. I know I’m not the best cook, but I make decent pancakes.”

She forked a bite into her mouth and chewed.

He chuckled. “I take it back. These are terrible. Let’s go out.”

“These are fine.”

He took her plate and placed it in the sink. “If the look on your face when you were chewing is any indication, they are far from fine.”

She grimaced. “I’m sorry. I think anything I eat this morning will taste like wood. I’m supposed to meet my mom at Starbucks. You want to grab something there?”

“Sounds good. Be right back.” A few minutes later, he returned.

She couldn’t believe she was marrying this man—and in only two days! Would they have the kind of marriage she’d witnessed in Brandi’s parents? She hoped so. Even though she ended up with a wonderful foster family, she hadn’t been especially close to them. Brandi’s parents welcomed her into their home and had been the mentors she’d needed. Too bad they wouldn’t be able to attend her wedding. They were probably the only other people she would have chosen to invite.

Ray rested a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yes. I was lost in thought, but I’m fine.” She plastered on a smile. “Let’s get this over with.” She only hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake.