Chapter Thirteen

 

 

Monday evening, Katie held tightly to Emily’s hand as they walked the distance from the community center to the athletic club. She was so nervous her entire body trembled. Why had she ever agreed to meet her mom?

She pulled open the door and strode inside.

Tasha smiled. “He’s in his office.”

“Thanks.” She took the stairs carefully with Emily as the little girl led with the same foot up each stair.

The door at the top opened, and Ray stood there with a silly grin on his face.

“What?” She frowned. It had been a long day, and she was having second thoughts about meeting her mom.

“Nothing. Can’t a man enjoy watching his family?”

“I suppose.” Although she didn’t have personal experience with that—until now.

Ray stepped aside, allowing them to enter. He scooped Emily into his arms and planted a kiss on her forehead. “How was your day, munchkin?”

“Good.”

“I’ll take the bus home.” Katie turned back toward the stairs.

“We’ll wait,” Ray said. “You can ride home with us.”

“Emily’s hungry.”

“I have snacks here. Don’t worry.” He set Emily down and walked over to Katie. He placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re strong, and I have faith in you.”

“You have more faith in me than I do.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her for several seconds. She rested her head against his chest, his heart beating a steady rhythm. She wrapped her arms around his waist. Tension rolled off her. “I feel better now. Thank you.”

“Any time.” He released her. “How about if we walk you there?”

“I should do this on my own.”

“You will.”

“Okay.” Having them walk with her would be nice. But she needed to meet Mom alone this time. As a grown woman, she shouldn’t allow anyone to hold her hand while she talked with her mother.

They marched down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk.

Emily walked between them, holding each of their hands. “Can we get ice cream?”

“No,” Ray said. “You won’t want dinner if you eat ice cream right now.”

“Boo.” Her bottom lip protruded.

Katie almost laughed but didn’t want to encourage Emily’s attitude. “I have a yummy dinner planned. You won’t want to be too full.”

“What is it?” Emily asked.

Katie glanced at Ray.

He nodded.

“Homemade pizza! You get to make your own.”

“Really?” Emily’s face lit.

“Yes.” Katie had been reading up on ways to get children to eat healthy. One of the suggestions was getting kids involved in cooking their meals. She smiled to herself—not that pizza was a great food, but she had healthy toppings prepared, so it would be nutritious.

“I like pizza.”

They stopped outside the Starbucks. “Good. I’ll meet you back at The Ring in a little while, okay?”

Emily nodded.

Ray took her hand. “You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.” She took a bracing breath, squared her shoulders, and marched inside. Her mother sat in the back corner. Somehow she hadn’t pictured her mom as someone who would look so put together, but looking at her now, she’d never know the past they’d shared. Her red hair cascaded to her shoulders in perfect waves, and her clothes fit perfectly.

Her mother raised a hand when she spotted her.

Katie nodded then detoured to the counter to order a non-coffee beverage. A few minutes later, she carried her drink to the table and sat across from the woman who’d abandoned her.

“I was afraid you might not show,” her mom said.

“It was tempting.” Katie stuffed a straw into her drink and took a long draw. “What are you hoping to gain from this?”

“Forgiveness.”

Relief surged through Katie. Although hurt immeasurably by her mother’s actions, she had long ago forgiven her. “Done.”

“Just like that?” Confusion filled her mom’s face.

“Not even. It took years to come to that point, but I did. I realized you weren’t worth all the pain not forgiving you caused me.”

Her mom jerked her head back as if slapped. “That wasn’t very nice.”

Remorse immediately struck Katie. “You’re right. I should have worded that differently. What I was trying to say was that holding onto the anger and not forgiving was toxic to me. It wasn’t worth the harm it was doing to me both emotionally and physically. So, one day, I decided enough was enough.”

“You made the decision to forgive me and that was the end of it?”

“Not exactly. That was the beginning of the process.”

Mom nodded. “You’re wise beyond your years.”

“Sink or swim as they say. I got thrown into the deep end of the pool without a life preserver when you left.”

Mom’s eyes watered. “I’d hoped your father would change after I left.”

“Seriously? Even after he threatened you? You actually believed he’d change?”

Mom grabbed a napkin and wiped trailing tears from her face. “I wish I was as strong and wise as you are, Katie. I don’t know how you turned out so well considering everything.”

“It certainly wasn’t thanks to you.” Katie winced. “Sorry, I did it again. Seeing you has stirred up feelings I thought I was long past. Maybe I still need to work on my anger.”

“It’s okay. I deserve it.”

Katie shrugged. She did not want to be here. She’d made the choice to forgive her parents some time ago, but showing her mom respect was difficult after what she’d done. “I agreed to meet with you, not because I want to renew a relationship with you, but because I was hoping for answers. I have the why for your disappearance and the how. I also know why you waited so long to find me.”

“But…” Mom pressed her lips together.

“Now I’d like to know some simple things like, do I have any half siblings, do you have any genetic health issues—that kind of stuff.”

Relief filled her mom’s eyes. “I never remarried. You don’t have any siblings, and other than tendinitis, I’m perfectly healthy. Although my mom had diabetes.”

“Good to know. Thank you.” Now what? She checked the time on her cell phone. “I should get going.” She pushed back and stood.

Her mom’s gaze landed on Katie’s left hand. “Did you get married since I last saw you, or is that your engagement ring?”

Katie stuffed her hand into her pocket. “I’m married.”

Her mom frowned. “I wish you hadn’t done that. You’re so young. I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did.”

“That won’t happen. Ray is a good man, and I trust him.” At least she trusted him as much as she could. Complete trust seemed to be impossible.

Mom’s eyes narrowed. “No man can be trusted. I hope you don’t regret your decision.”

Me, too. “I won’t. Per our agreement, I’ll see you here the same time next week.”

“Right. Are you sure you can’t stay for a bit?”

“Why?” She didn’t want to hurt her mother, but she had nothing to say to her. What was the point of pretending?

A shadow crossed her mom’s eyes. “I don’t know. I’ll see you next week.”

Katie turned and left without looking back. So many feelings coursed through her: unease, irritation that her mother thought Ray was a bad guy simply because he was a man, sadness that her mom had lived such a hard life, and relief that she’d only have to see her mom once more before she’d be able to close the door on her forever if she wanted to. Did she want to though? She kind of felt bad for her mom. Then again, everyone had to live with their own choices. Katie knew that firsthand.