It’s after midnight, on Friday, and as usual, I’m alone in my dorm room studying. My roommate left hours ago, not without her standard series of taunts and mocking because I had refused to go out and get hammered with her. Our script has become almost rehearsed. She asks me to come out, I tell her I have to study, she teases me while she gets ready, I ignore her, she leaves. Rinse, repeat. But I actually don’t mind all that much, because it’s due to my studying that I’ve been accepted to a master’s program in business technology. It is the one thing I have been working my ass off for, and no amount of taunting or embarrassing name-calling is going to take it away from me.

I look at my acceptance letter sitting on my desk, and scan the opening words…

Dear Anya DiNova,

It is our great pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted to the Master’s Program at the Benjamin Locklear School of Business at Marwell University. We believe that your unique skills and stellar academic record will…

Every time I read it, I get more and more excited. I never in a million years thought that I would get into such a prestigious school, but I’ve also been working like ad for four years at SFCAS, so I’ve earned it. The only thing weighing on me as I get ready for the next phase of my academic career… is Daniel.

My boyfriend, Daniel Levinson, is in the music program, double-majoring in production and percussion -- specifically the drums. We met in the library when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore, and we’ve been together ever since. Daniel and I are truly the epitome of “opposites attract.” He’s creative and outgoing and wild, and I’m cerebral and reserved and focused. But we have always worked perfectly together…

Until the last few months.

Daniel has decided that he wants to move to New York with his band, to try and make it big, and he’s asked me to go with him. He keeps suggesting that I re-apply to schools there, and move all the way across the country just to follow him on the off-chance his indie rock band catches the eye of a label or an agent. But I want to work in the tech industry. There is nothing for me in New York. I need to be San Francisco, and he doesn’t seem to get it. Lately, all we do is fight, and it’s getting exhausting.

It’s not that I don’t love him, or that I don’t have faith his band can make it, and maybe even make it big. I actually think they’re amazing. Asphalt Galaxy, which is their third name in as many years, is popular in San Francisco, but truth be told, they have had trouble catching on in any larger markets. And it’s not that I don’t think they have a chance of finding an audience, but I know that my career will never flourish in New York. I will just end up resenting him if I give up everything I have worked for, and that’s no good for anybody.

I stretch and look at the clock, and see it’s already almost one in the morning. I don’t usually see Daniel on Friday, but he texted me earlier and said he might be coming over tonight. I’m scanning through my notes for my Corporate Ethics and Social Responsibility final, trying to anticipate what the professor is going to surprise us with for the essay, when a knock on the door startles me.

“Come in,” I call out as I set my books in my lap. The door opens, and Daniel is leaning against the frame. He looks so beautiful that I briefly forget we are even mad each other. I often wonder how it is we ended up together, or what he sees in a bookish girl like me. Daniel looks like your stereotypical lead singer, and I mean that in the best way possible. He’s tall and lithe, with long, tattooed arms that are muscled from playing from the drums. His black hair is shaved down on one side and longer on the other, swept over and gelled, and he has a smattering of five-o-clock shadow that draws attention to his perfect lips. He winks at me, his big brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Daniel Levinson, do you know what time it is?” I ask with a smile. Daniel slides off his suspenders as he walks through the door, then starts to unbutton his shirt. Once the door is shut, he shrugs with a grin.

“Actually, I don’t. I just got on the train and came straight here once we were done.”

I yawn and throw my books across the room with a playful eye-roll as Daniel crawls into bed with me. He smells like stale cigarettes and sweat and beer, so I know for sure that he’s been at band practice. As gross as it should be, it totally turns me on, and I’m thrilled that my roommate is gone for the night. He pushes my braids away from my face and kisses the apples of my cheeks.

“If you need to study, I can just go to sleep. I don’t want to distract you. I know you have finals.” But I shake my head, as the same thrill I always feel when he’s near me starts to creep through my core.

“No way. I’ve studied enough tonight. How was practice?”

Daniel shrugs. “The usual. I got in some time on my set before the guys showed up. I have my jury tomorrow. Then Cody told us he booked a few clubs for next weekend, so if you want to come, I’d love to have you there.”

I force a smile, and nod enthusiastically, even though I really don’t have the time to take off to go to a bar to hear his band play the same songs I’ve heard a thousand times before. But Daniel is busy playing an invisible piano on his thighs, so he doesn’t seem to notice my hesitation, which is probably for the better.

I yawn again, and Daniel chuckles. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to sleep? If Leslie isn’t back by now, she’s probably not coming back at all, so I can sleep in her bed tonight.”

I roll my eyes and pull Daniel over to me, kissing him with every ounce of passion inside of me. We may not get much right these days, but this… this is something we still get right. I love the way he feels when he touches me, when he’s near me, on top of me, inside of me. Daniel pulls away, his eyes glassy with passion, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Are you sure you’re ready for tomorrow?” he asks, eyeing the stack of notes and books next to the bed.

“Shut up,” I respond, and pull him back towards me, kissing him once more. For as much as I still have to get done, nothing else in the world matters right now except for him and me. As it stands, we may only have a few months left together before we take off to opposite sides of the country.

Instead of backing off, this time Daniel gets the hint, responding to my kiss with equal fervor and longing, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. He wraps his arms around me, enveloping me completely, pulling me as close to him as we can be. We lay side by side, our lips interlocked and our bodies pressed together, both desperate to hold on to this moment of happiness and intimacy, especially after having fought so much lately.

Daniel’s hand starts to travel down my side, sending a short shiver down me as he passes by my breasts and the small of my waist before stopping at my hip. Taking hold, he pushes my body back, waist first, so that I am lying flat on the bed.

“Close your eyes, Anya.” he commands with a devilish grin. I comply immediately, every nerve in my body on full alert.

I sense Daniel rustling around next to me under the sheets as I lie still, eyes squeezed tightly shut, my breath quickening in anticipation. Suddenly, I feel his head shove underneath my knee, wedging his face in between my legs under the covers. He places his tongue on my panties, landing squarely on my clit. I gasp at the suddenness of the sensation, which sends shocks of tingles deep into my core. I hear him chuckle quietly as he continues to work his tongue up and down me, teasing me through the thin cotton.

“For someone who works so hard, I thought you earned a little break” he murmurs playfully, sliding my panties down my legs before tossing them on the floor. He continues to lick me, circling me in an endless tease, causing my hips to buck and writhe as I feel myself becoming wet with desire. I grab his hair forcefully, pulling him closer towards me as he strokes me with increasing urgency, my clit rubbing against the stubble growing on his face. With each touch, the sensation becomes more intense, and I can feel myself already on edge to explode at his bidding.

“Daniel, please, I’m so close already!” I cry out, hardly able to catch my breath. He takes my pleas as an invitation to work more swiftly, his tongue and mouth speeding up their pace, hurriedly licking and sucking at every part of me. Within moments, I feel the rush of my orgasm overcome every part of me, and I shove Daniel away as I cry out in my release. Daniel softly puts two fingers on my clit, rubbing carefully as he watches my uncontrollable writhing subside.

Once I’ve settled slightly, Daniel shifts away from my opening and begins to move upward, kissing my stomach, my chest, and each of my breasts before finding his way to my face, landing squarely on my mouth in another, more burning kiss. His warm lips activate every nerve in my body as they land, and I wrap my arms around his back and pull him hungrily towards me. Running my hands down his back, I feel every hard muscle tense in anticipation. I pause on his firm butt, giving it a quick squeeze as I pull him closer to me. His long, hard cock brushes my now slick opening, dancing and twitching in its eagerness. My legs open wider in response, my hips tilting up, ready to welcome him inside me.

Daniel lifts his hips up and plunges deep into me in one swift motion, my nails digging deep into him in response. We move together, lips interlocked, his manhood entering me in long, slow methodical thrusts, filling me up completely with every motion. I match his pace, guiding him in and out of me, feeling the tip of him nearly exit with each movement, teasing my opening before the relief of being joined together once more. Daniel takes one of my breasts into his hands, softly pinching my taut nipple and squeezing me as we make love. He shifts his position, pressing his hips harder into me, reaching as deeply as he can inside. I feel my clit throbbing as it rubs against Daniel, ready to send me over the edge in ecstasy.

“Oh, Anya, you feel incredible,” he whispers into my ear. “I love you so much.” His warm breath exhilarates me, and I feel myself tense up in anticipation. I pull my knees up towards my chest to welcome him in further, knowing that he’s close to finishing. Daniel suddenly speeds up his pace at the gesture, his thrusts quickening, the head of his cock stroking every spot inside me, pushing every button.

My hands yank up the sheets off the mattress and I scream out “Daniel!,” as a second wave of delicious, electric warmth flashes through me. His cock responds, burying itself deep inside me as he reaches his climax. He collapses on top of me, his cock twitching slightly, causing small aftershocks of delight to run through my body. After several minutes, Daniel finally rolls over to the side of the bed, nuzzling close next to me.

“I’m going to go take a quick shower, babe,” he says. “Gotta rinse the night off of me. I’ll be back in a few.”

I go to stand to grab my robe, but my legs give out immediately. I’m made of jelly and can’t move. A few moments later, Daniel comes back and crawls back into bed with me, after slipping out of his jeans. He snuggles in close with a soft sigh, and pulls the blanket up over us both. Daniel heaves a deep breath, and sets his head on my shoulder.

“It’s going to be so amazing when we’re together like this in New York, making love in a loft in the shadow of the Empire State Building?”

And, here we frigging go. He couldn’t even wait ten minutes to start in on me.

“Do we have to do this tonight, Daniel? Can we just have one night where you aren’t trying to strong-arm me into moving?”

Daniel sits up and stares at me like I’m insane. “What are you talking about? I just said…”

“I know what you said. It’s the same thing you say to me every damn day. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet and you harassing me about it isn’t going to help me make my decision any quicker.”

I get up from the bed and get my robe, then sit down in my desk chair across from the bed. Daniel looks wounded that I’ve left him alone, but I suddenly need some space away from him.

Maybe a lot of space.

“Anya, I don’t understand why you’re so resistant to this. You are brilliant! You can get into grad school anywhere, and you can work in New York just easily as San Francisco,” Daniel says with a pout. I can see from the look on his face that he doesn’t even believe his own argument, but he’s trying it anyway.

And he’s right. It’s not working.

“That isn’t the damn point, Daniel. I want to go to Marwell. It’s the best school for my program. And the fact you think I can move willy-nilly and do my job just anywhere proves you still don’t understand what it is I want to do. All you care about is yourself, and your shitty band.”

The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them, and I regret them immediately. I cover my face with my hands, and Daniel lets out a long, slow rush of air.

“Daniel, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” I whisper through my fingers. But I can see him shake his head.

“No, you meant it. What you didn’t mean was the apology. What the hell are we doing here, Anya? What is the point of any of this? You aren’t going to change your mind. I’m not staying here after graduation. So, why are we bothering with this anymore?”

I look up, shocked. I never expected him to say it first. “Because we love each other?”

Daniel gets off the bed, and kneels in front of me. “We do. I love you, Anya. I’ll always love you. But this isn’t working. Maybe love isn’t enough.”

I want to argue with him. I want to scream and fight for our relationship, to tell him he’s wrong and that love is always worth fighting for. But deep in my heart, I know that he’s right. We are on different paths, and no amount of fighting is going to change that. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Daniel takes my hands in his, and squeezes them, then kisses them softly. “I’m sorry, Anya. I love you. I’m sorry.”

Then he grabs his shirt, and walks out the door, leaving me sitting in my desk chair, barely processing anything that had just happened.

Am I really alone, just like that? After four years, is Daniel gone? Forever?

I crawl into the bed where we just made love, and cry myself to sleep…