“So, what do you know about her? Is she hot? I bet she’s hot.”

I am sitting in a huge living room with eleven other guys, all of them looking varying degrees of nervous, or cocky. The man talking to me looks like a frat boy football player, and he keeps wiggling his eyebrows every time he says anything, like he’s making a sex joke. I already hate him. The producer, Carrie, is rushing around, getting cameras set up, and fussing over all of the guys. I know from looking her up that this is her eighth season on Wild Love, but she looks so panicked, you’d think it was her first time.

I’ve claimed a chair near a huge fireplace, and am eyeballing all of the other guys who will be on the show with me. Some of them look harmless enough, as if they are here simply to act as buffer for the woman to eliminate immediately. A couple others are definitely here to be the villains, including the frat boy. I’m not really interested in making friends, so I just sit in my chair, watching Carrie flit around, and try not to scowl.

“Don’t I know you?”

I look up, and there is a man standing next to me with a curious look on his face. He looks vaguely familiar too.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Do I know you?”

He laughs. “My name is Max Jefferson. I’m a dancer. I’ve been in a few movies. And you are?”

“Daniel Levinson. I’m in a band.”

“Oh, shit! You’re the lead singer of Article of Clothing! I love your album, man. What the hell are you doing here?”

I laugh. “Don’t follow the news much, do you?”

Max shrugs. “I don’t really have time. I came right here from a movie set in Los Angeles where I was doing some choreography for a new dance movie. What happened?”

“Nothing,” I answer with a shake of my head, not wanting to go through it all again. “Long story. Why are you here?”

“My manager thought it would be good PR. Plus, I don’t really have a lot of time to date with my schedule, so she said it might convince people I have an actual life. I don’t. But an illusion is better than nothing, you know? Anyway, do you know anything about the woman who is going to be on the show?”

I glance around the room again and see all of the men chatting and already patting each other on the backs, like they’ve won some imaginary prize just by being here. I have a feeling I’m not going to enjoy their company.

“No, they didn’t tell me anything, but I have a feeling that is part of the game. They want us to be surprised when she shows up, you know? Have you ever actually watched this dumpster fire before?”

Max bursts out laughing so loudly, everyone turns around and looks at us, including Carrie. She looks at us with a serious face, as if she’s analyzing our viability for… something. Max sticks his tongue out at her, and she goes back to fiddling with the cameras.

“I don’t have time to watch TV. But my sister is a fan, and she is the one who made me do it. I was apprehensive. Don’t these things get a little… cutthroat?”

“According to my assistant, you’re either the hero, the villain, or nameless rabble that gets culled from the herd pretty quickly. I was hoping to fly under the radar for as long as possible and enjoy a free vacation, but Mara says if you don’t set yourself apart early, you get kicked off right away.”

Max surveys the room. “Don’t we stand out just by nature of not being the ‘regular guys?’”

“I bet they’ve planned for that. There is probably some goofy twist where the regular guys are secret millionaires. You really don’t know anything about reality TV, do you?”

Max laughs, but doesn’t have time to answer me. Carrie walks out in the middle of the room and waves her hands around to get our attention.

“Hey, guys! Guys! Thanks so much for your attention! Welcome to your first day on the set of Wild Love. We appreciate you all coming here from such diverse locations, and we think you’re all going to have a great time getting to know each other over the next few weeks. Now, your lovely single lady should be arriving any minute, but before she gets here, I thought that perhaps we should go over some ground rules.”

The football frat yells out, “The rules are there are no rules, am I right, fellas?”

Max rolls his eyes and makes a “jerking off” motion, and I have to stifle a laugh. Carrie fakes a smile.

“Now, now, Grill. You know that’s not the case.”

I turn to Max and mouth, “Did she say, ‘Grill?’” Max explode-laughs again, and Carrie gives us a death stare.

“Okay, guys. Settle down. The most important rule while you are in the Wild Love House, and I can’t stress this enough, is that you can not have sex with your single lady. Have I made myself perfectly clear?”

Groans fill the room, and I catch sight of Grill rolling his eyes and smirking, as if he has no intention of following that rule. Carrie just keeps talking.

“Also, I need you to stay in view of cameras as long as you aren’t doing anything involving personal business. This includes sleeping, and getting dressed in the morning. You all signed a nudity rider when you agreed to be on the show, but rest assured, we will blur out your bits and pieces for television.”

More snickers erupt from the peanut gallery, but Carrie continues as if she’s given this speech a million times before.

“I will also need you to watch your language. Some swearing is fine, but we’d rather not have to pay our censor guy overtime. No spending time alone without lady until you’re in the final three, unless she specifically requests it on one of our themed episodes. And you are not, I repeat, not, allowed to go near her bedroom at any time, for any reason. Her room is on the opposite side of the house from where you guys will be set up, and if we catch you creeping over there, you will be kicked off without ceremony. Understood?”

Everyone mumbles in agreement, and I just shake my head. I can’t believe I agreed to this. I feel like I’m on vacation with my parents, and they are giving me a curfew. One of the younger guys in the group raises his hand.

“Are we allowed to drink while we’re here? I see there is a bar. Can we use it?”

“That’s a great question, Robbie. You can drink if you want. We’re not here to stop you from having a good time. But just remember you’re going to be on camera twenty-four-seven.” She punctuates each word with a look aimed at each little group of us. “Your family and friends are going to watch how you behave here, so we suggest not doing anything you wouldn’t want your mothers to see. If you are fine with your mom seeing you behave like a drunken lout, that’s your business. Not ours, so to speak, anyway,” she says with a half smile.

Max raises his hand to ask something, but Carrie mumbles into her headset, then claps her hands together, all excited.

“Gentlemen! Your single lady has just arrived at the house. We’re going to take a moment to introduce her to you before we start the cameras rolling. We want you to get acquainted without out the pressure of having to be on. So everyone, get ready. We’re bringing her in in a moment!”

I sigh, trying to muster up some enthusiasm just so I don’t seem rude. The guys gather around the door, and I follow behind them, obscured by the tallest of the contestants, who are way more excited than I am. There is some shuffling, and the sounds of a car pulling up, and then a few of the guys start chattering and laughing. Max elbows me in the side.

“Dude, she’s pretty. Like, super pretty. Holy shit, I was not expecting that.”

Curiosity gets the better of me, and I stand up on my tiptoes to get a look at her. When I do, my jaw drops, and I sink back down slowly. I can feel the color drain from my face, and Max sees it.

“Daniel, what’s wrong?”

I whisper, “Anya. That’s Anya…”

“Who’s Anya?” he asks as he leans over, whispering back conspiratorially.

“No one. Just my college girlfriend and the only woman I’ve ever loved.”