A PERFECT BALANCE

THE RAIN STARTED TO FALL WHEN THE GATES OF REY appeared along the horizon. Fat, unwieldy drops began to plink on Shahrzad’s shoulders and splat on the corners of the magic carpet.

She’d felt the storm’s threat as she soared beneath the gathering clouds. The metallic scent had woven through the wind, toying at the ends of her tresses—

Spurring her onward.

All the while sending her blood surging through her body.

Khalid.

As Shahrzad neared the city gates, a current of air buoyed the carpet, taking her past the torchlit battlements, beyond the sights of any wandering sentries.

The slumbering city was as she remembered it . . .

Yet not.

Sections of Khorasan’s crown jewel looked as though a giant fist had smashed down upon its surface. Others were scorched beyond recognition. For a few breaths, a feeling of despondency slid its hold around Shahrzad’s heart.

Then, as she directed the carpet lower, she saw signs of hope.

The light color of newly hewn granite against old. The smell of sap from freshly milled wood. The piles of organized debris. The stink of burning refuse.

Around her was a city all but forsworn.

Half in ruin.

Yet half reborn.

Her heart swelled, shaking off despondency’s grip. The people of Rey had not tucked tail and run.

Nor had Khalid.

Shahrzad sent the carpet higher. Toward a broken palace of granite and marble glistening in the first flush of a summer’s rain.

Toward the broken palace she called home.

A trill of apprehension snaked through her, igniting a flurry of questions.

Khalid is just as stubborn as I am. What if he refuses to trust Artan, or Artan’s family?

What if he rejects their offer of help? What if he’s resigned to living out his days with this curse?

Then the most selfish question of all—the one she’d refused to allow herself to consider—began echoing through her mind:

What if he’s furious with me for leaving Rey?

For leaving him without a word.

The fat droplets grew long and lean as they started to multiply. Without warning, the clouds burst, showering a sweet silver rain upon the city. A hazy mist formed above the earth as the water sizzled onto the stone and soaked through the parched soil.

Shahrzad landed on the balcony outside Khalid’s antechamber.

She waited in silence for a time, her pulse drumming in her ears. Her emotions ran a wild gamut, and she trembled, despite the warm summer breeze.

He was so close. Almost within reach.

But Shahrzad couldn’t bring herself to slide open the carved screens in front of her.

She’d left him. Even if she’d done it to protect him—to protect the love they shared—she’d left him alone. And she’d made the decision to do so without him.

Khalid had not run from his obligations. That much had been quite evident to her, as she’d flown over Rey. She’d seen his mind for organization—his quiet intelligence—in every aspect of the restoration. In the logical engineering. In the careful attention to detail.

He was everywhere. Even if no one else saw this simple truth, Shahrzad did.

She was the one who’d left behind a burning disaster, without so much as a glance back. Left the boy she loved to manage an insurmountable task without her.

Would he look at her with eyes of betrayal? Eyes of judgment?

Or would they be the same eyes as always?

Eyes that had been for her and no other.

She was soaked to the bone now. The sweet-smelling rain had drenched her hair and was dripping from its ends. Her qamis clung to her body, and her deep blue tikka sash trailed against the onyx stone beside her sandaled feet.

How much time had she wasted being afraid on the balcony?

Enough.

Squaring her shoulders, Shahrzad started for the screens—

And they slid open.

She halted in her tracks, refusing to look up.

Shahrzad knew it was Khalid. She sensed rather than saw him.

As always. As ever. As a rose to the sun.

Her knees shook. A chill ran from the nape of her neck to the soles of her feet.

“Shahrzad?”

Low and unassuming. Unmistakable. When Shahrzad met his gaze, everything around her melted away. Even the driving rain came to a sudden standstill.

A moment suspended in time. A pair of amber eyes across a balcony.

And there was no more fear. No more worry. No more judgment.

Her knees no longer shook. Her heart steadied in her chest.

In that moment of perfect balance, she understood. This peace? These worries silenced without effort?

It was because they were two parts of a whole. He did not belong to her. And she did not belong to him. It was never about belonging to someone.

It was about belonging together.

Shahrzad walked toward him, her head high.

Khalid did not blink.

“Shazi.”

“Yes,” she replied, her voice clear and strong. Just as she felt.

His eyes narrowed infinitesimally. As though guarded in their disbelief. As though undeserving of their truth. The gesture was so achingly familiar that Shahrzad wanted to launch herself into his arms.

But she was soaked, and Khalid looked as pristine as always. His black hair was faultless. The sharp planes of his face brought to mind a hawk in flight. Piercing, yet coolly aloof. As though he could gauge a man at a glance, had he the care to do so. The fine linen of his garments hung across the trim figure of a seasoned warrior.

His eyes gleamed molten gold. And they said all without a word.

Shahrzad drew her sodden waves to one side, splashing water by his feet.

“I’m sorry!” She wrinkled her nose. “That was—”

He pulled her in to his chest, a hand tangling through her hair. The beat of his heart rang loud and true against her cheek. The only measure of time that mattered.

She exhaled fast only to inhale deep. To breathe in his scent. The scent of sandalwood and sunshine. Her fingers moved across his skin, making memories of their own. The hands of a master swordsman. The lips of her greatest love. The heart of a king.

“Khalid.”

Following their embrace, Shahrzad saw Khalid carefully maintain his distance.

Though it frustrated her, she understood why.

It was not to punish her. It was to protect her. She knew him well enough to realize this. And Shahrzad had yet to divulge why she’d returned.

Perhaps talking was of greater importance.

For now.

Khalid listened—the stern set of his eyebrows high in his forehead—as Shahrzad told him about the magic carpet. As she told him about the strange new ability she had yet to fully control. But, save for that initial display of emotion, he offered nothing further on the matter.

Instead, Khalid procured a change of clothes for her and—infuriatingly—turned away while she stripped off her drenched garments.

At that, Shahrzad was forced to swallow a rather cheeky comment.

They were married, after all.

Alas, she understood this behavior as well.

This time he was protecting himself.

So, despite Shahrzad’s desire to challenge Khalid’s resolve with a verbal assault, she chose a less direct approach, opting to wear the loose linen qamis he’d provided for her . . . and nothing else. After all, the sirwal trowsers were much too large. Both garments were cut for a man. The qamis covered more than enough, for its hem fell close to her knees.

More than appropriate.

For now.

Shahrzad found herself smothering a rather inappropriate grin.

When Khalid turned around, his eyebrows shot into his forehead again.

Then he sighed, long and low.

“Is something wrong?” Her voice sounded innocent, though her expression conveyed a sentiment far less so. Shahrzad sat on the edge of his platformed bed, tucking her legs to one side.

“Wrong is not exactly the right word.” His retort was brusque, but there was a note of humor beneath it.

Khalid strode through his poorly lit chamber, his movements fluid, like those of a shadow limned in smoke. Shahrzad followed him with her eyes, aware she likely resembled a predator stalking prey.

He removed a cushioned settee from behind his ebony desk and brought it before the bed. When Khalid sat down, he made a point of the distance between them—

A point Shahrzad was not meant to mistake.

At this, she frowned. “That’s taking matters a bit far, don’t you think?”

“If I intend to think, then no. One could argue it’s not far enough.” Khalid leaned against the settee, his eyes flashing. Focused. Unflinching.

No. Shahrzad was not the predator. Not anymore.

Well, then.

Flustered, she made a motion to stand. “Really, I—”

“Shazi.” Khalid lifted a hand to stop her. “You can’t . . . you . . . you shouldn’t stay.”

She’d never known Khalid to struggle with words before.

“I’m—not staying.”

Khalid sank lower into the ivory silk. Then he nodded.

“But I have every intention of staying—eventually.” Shahrzad raised her chin with an imperious air. “In fact, I intend to do far more than stay. I intend to flourish. Once we break the curse.” She let her statement carry through the vast chamber, defying the very walls to rise up and challenge her.

Even in the weak light from the latticed lamp above, Shahrzad saw Khalid’s face soften. “If I thought there was a way to break this curse—”

“There may be,” she interjected. “But I need you to trust me. And not be angry with me for what I’m about to tell you.”

“I do trust you.”

“But will you be angry?”

He said nothing. His eyes merely constricted at the edges.

Undoubtedly weighing their options. Or forming their strategies.

Some things do not change.

“You must know you have an abominable temper,” Shahrzad said with reproach.

A smile ghosted across his lips. “As do you, my queen.”

“We are not discussing my shortcomings.” She sniffed. “Promise me you won’t lose your temper until I finish talking?”

Again, he said nothing.

“Khalid?”

He dipped his head once in acknowledgment.

“I went to the Fire Temple to see Musa Zaragoza.”

Khalid stiffened. Already Shahrzad could see him assembling his objections, so she barreled forward before he could begin.

“I know you harbor bitterness toward him because of what happened with your mother. Of his . . . failure to come to her aid. But he wishes to help now. And he was the one who gave me both the knowledge and the means to travel here unseen.”

“I appreciate him helping you, Shahrzad. A great deal.”

But he didn’t sound as though he did. Save for the breath Khalid used to speak her name, the rest of his words were rote in tone. Cold and perfunctory.

Disappointed by his inability to forgive Musa, Shahrzad leveled a withering stare in his direction. Khalid met her—glare for glare—until he exhaled in defeat, giving her leave to continue.

“One of his students at the Fire Temple has a relative who professes to be a powerful sorceress. It’s possible she can offer us a way to undo the curse.”

Khalid’s response was immediate, his posture unyielding. “This kind of magic comes with a price. One I am not willing to pay.”

“Please.” Shahrzad sat up, her damp hair falling over one shoulder. “At least come with me and learn what that cost might be.”

“No.” His pronouncement was final.

But Shahrzad refused to be swayed. “Khalid—”

“I do not know these people; therefore, they cannot be trusted.”

“You said you trusted me.”

“I trust you implicitly. But it would be irresponsible of me to trust Musa Zaragoza or his so-called students with my life,” Khalid said cuttingly. “And I doubly do not trust them with yours.”

“Stop being so stubborn!” Her bare feet fell to the onyx floor. “Do not make me beg you. Because I won’t. I’ll merely lose my temper or cry. And I have always secretly despised those who cry to wheedle their objectives. But if you force me to do it, Khalid Ibn al-Rashid, I will. And I cry beautifully.” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

A corner of his mouth twitched. “You do not cry beautifully.”

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying.” He held her gaze. “I rarely lie.”

She’d long suspected this to be the case. Yet Shahrzad could not resist pressing Khalid further. “You’ve never lied to me?”

He paused. “Once.”

“Oh?” She peaked a slender brow. “And when was that?”

“In the souk. When you asked if I remembered my last dream. I said I did not.”

“And you did?”

Khalid nodded.

Shahrzad took a cautious breath, wondering if it would be wiser not to push the matter. “Will you tell me what your dream was about?”

“At the time, it was less a dream and more a recurring nightmare.” Khalid regarded her for a beat. “I dreamed of sleeping beside a girl in my chamber. I don’t remember her face. Nor do I remember anything about her. I only remember how I felt.”

“How did you feel?”

“As though I’d found peace.” His gaze grew even more intent.

Even more pointed.

“Oh.” Shahrzad looked away, toying with the sleeve of the borrowed qamis to conceal the flush in her cheeks.

That night at the souk, Khalid lied because he thought this dream was about me.

“The last time I had this dream was the night before you came to the palace,” he continued. “I remember it well because I woke suddenly, searching for something that . . . wasn’t there.” His eyes drifted to the alabaster wall; he was lost in thought.

Lost in a familiar wasteland. A wasteland Shahrzad hoped never to see again.

She walked toward him, resolve firming her steps.

“That peace you seek is here,” Shahrzad whispered. “Fight for it. I’ll fight for it with you. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Her hands clenched around her sleeves. “When I was in the desert, I woke each day and carried on with my life, but it wasn’t living; it was merely existing. I want to live. You are where I live.”

Khalid stared up at her, his features inscrutable—

His eyes inciting her heart to riot.

“I’ve missed the silence of you listening to me.” Shahrzad attempted a weak smile. “No one listens to me as you do.”

His expression turned quizzical.

“You don’t wait to speak,” she clarified. “You truly listen.”

“Only to you,” Khalid replied gently.

At that, Shahrzad reached a hand toward him. Stopped just before his brow, as if seeking permission. He bent forward, and her fingers sifted through the black silk of his hair. Khalid reached behind her knee, drawing her closer.

“Fight with me,” she said.

At his silence, Shahrzad tugged his hair back, forcing him to look her in the eye. “I want a life with those I love around me, safe and happy. What do you want?”

“To live . . . fiercely.”

“What else?”

“To taste every breath.” Khalid skimmed a hand down her leg. A frisson of heat shot up her spine.

“What else?” Her voice shook.

“To fall asleep each night with you by my side.”

Shahrzad took his face between her palms.

“Then fight for it.”

His careful control shattered. Khalid stood suddenly, catching her to him.

“Will you go with me?” she gasped as his hands moved higher.

He nodded.

Then Khalid pulled her close and crushed his mouth to hers. His tongue edged past her lips, and she breathed his name while he strode toward the bed, pouring their bodies onto the dull silk.

She would never cease to be astounded by this—

The flawless awareness behind every look, every whisper, every sigh.

His words were a spark cast in oil. His touch was a fire against her skin.

Shahrzad tugged the length of linen over her head, and Khalid rose to his knees and removed his qamis. He glanced down at her—

Then everything stilled with an awful precipitousness.

His jaw flexed. His knuckles turned white.

He was furious.

Beyond furious.

His face was a lesson in rage. The quiet, all-consuming sort. It was at its worst when he was this quiet.

As Khalid stared down at her body, she realized why.

The bruises. The burn.

“Khalid—”

“Who did this to you?” His voice was soft. Deathly soft.

Its brutal assurance sent a shiver down her back.

Never forget: Khalid is not a forgiving man.

To him, violence begets violence. And likely always will.

“Don’t,” Shahrzad said gently. “Don’t ruin our time together with anger. I am not hurt. And these injuries are my own fault. Ones I would gladly take again and again, because they’ve made me stronger. They’ve led me to you.”

“Shahrzad—”

She reached up to trace the mark on his collarbone. The faint bruise along his jaw. Then she shifted her fingers to the newest cuts on his hands. To the gash across his palm that had not yet healed.

“I hate your scars, too,” Shahrzad murmured. “But skin is skin, be it a man’s or a woman’s. And pain is pain. Don’t lament mine more than I do yours. And trust that—if ever there comes a time when an injustice is done to me—you will be the first to know.” She pressed a kiss to his injured palm. “And I will stand by your side as we right it.”

Shahrzad took his hand and placed it on the wound on her stomach. “I promise it doesn’t hurt.” She grinned almost teasingly.

He frowned. “Liar.”

At that, Shahrzad pushed him onto his back.

Her hair scarving about her throat, she moved over Khalid. “I may be partial to roses, but I am not a fragile flower.”

“No.” Khalid’s mouth arced upward ever so slightly. “You are not.”

“Do you know why I adore roses?” Shahrzad untied the knot of his tikka sash with deliberate slowness. “I’ve always loved them for their beauty and their scent, but—”

“It’s because of their thorns.” His muscles tensed at her touch. “Because there’s more to them than first meets the eye.”

She smiled down at Khalid, tracing her fingers along the curved hollows at his hips. “Do you know how much I missed you?”

Khalid inhaled sharply. “I do.” He grazed a thumb across her lower lip. “And do you know you make my life a thousand times worth living?”

“Yes.” Her throat went dry. “I do.”

Khalid’s eyes fell upon the stretch of twine hanging from her neck. His fingers shifted to coil around the ring.

“I couldn’t wear it on my hand anymore,” Shahrzad explained. “But I didn’t want to—”

He pulled her toward him by the necklace, kissing her silent.

Their lips soon found a rhythm. And their bodies met, seeking the same.

Seeking a moment of perfect balance.

A moment that held everything.

And in that moment, they lost all consideration for anything beyond themselves. For in that moment, there was no pain. There were no scars. And a curse was a worry of a bygone era.

Here, the only thing that mattered was before each of them. Here and now.

“I love you,” Shahrzad breathed. “You are all that I am.”

“And you are all that I will be.”

For here, they existed beyond time.

Here, they could no longer feel the place where she ended and he began.

“It’s late,” Khalid said. “You should sleep.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not doing anything.”

“Stop smiling and go to sleep.”

“How do you know I’m smiling? You’re not even looking at me.”

“I can feel you smiling, Shazi.”

The warm sound of her laughter stole through Khalid’s skin, heating the coldest reaches of his soul.

He lay on his stomach with his eyes closed, trying to dispel the torturous ache in his head. That his pain would choose now to trouble him was merely further proof of his endless misfortune.

Or perhaps further proof of fate’s twisted humor.

The cushions rustled around him. Shahrzad eased onto his back, draping her small form over his. He felt the press of her cheek between his shoulder blades. Then, with a featherlight touch, she ran both hands up his arms to the nape of his neck.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked when she realized her attempts to soothe were to no avail.

“No.”

“What do you want?” Her tone bordered on playful.

Khalid thought for a moment, trying to banish the images her words brought to mind. “Perhaps a story.” He smiled to himself, despite the thudding in his brow.

“Any story?”

Khalid nodded, his eyes still closed.

She leaned close to whisper by his ear. “A young man was strolling through the wood when he came upon a honey-tongued dove. He paused to listen to the sweet melody of its song and was amazed when the dove stopped singing and began speaking to him.”

It was as though she were from a dream. One from which Khalid never wished to wake.

He felt her smile again. “The dove said, ‘Young man, you seem to have good taste! I’d like to share a secret with you. If you take this path here, you will come across a lacquered red door with a wooden handle. Before it, you will find a tribe of Weeping Men. Ask them not why they weep; merely pass through the door, and you will find riches beyond your wildest dreams!’ The young man was so surprised to encounter both a talking dove and the promise of riches beyond his wildest dreams that he eagerly followed the honey-tongued dove’s directions through the wood.”

“The foolishness of youth,” Khalid murmured.

Shahrzad laughed softly, and the sound rolled down his spine. “Just as the dove had said, the young man came into a clearing with a single door of red lacquer, latched shut by a wooden handle. Before it sat a tribe of Weeping Men. The young man ignored the Weeping Men and proceeded straight to the door. He pressed on the wooden handle, then stepped across the threshold. Before him was a hanging garden. But it was not a garden of flowers or fruit; it was a garden of brilliant jewels. Where there should have been an apple orchard, there was instead a copse of emeralds. Where there should have been berries, he found rubies the size of his thumb. Bright yellow jasper gleamed in place of oranges. Glittering amethysts dripped in place of hyacinths. Diamonds and pearls lay shimmering on branches of jessamine. The young man stuffed his pockets full of jewel-fruits and flower-gems, laughing until his sides hurt.”

She twined her fingers through his. “When he finished walking through the hanging garden, he arrived at a beautiful village, overlooking a crystalline sea. He immediately bought the most magnificent home he could find. After he’d traversed the whole of this village, he came across another lacquered door with another wooden handle. He pressed it open and traipsed into the market of a grand city, filled with the sights and sounds of trade and the smells of delicacies. In no time at all, he had amassed a sizable amount of gold. The quality of the gems he possessed was unparalleled, and his knack for trading knew no bounds. It seemed no matter where he turned, luck was on his side! When he happened upon yet another door with a wooden handle, he pushed through it, only to cross paths with the loveliest young woman he had ever beheld. Hand in hand, they made their way across another stunning vista, filled with verdant valleys and sparkling springs. Never once did the young man look back. Ever forward. Ever toward the next door.

“Then, many years later, when the young man could no longer call himself young, he came across another door with another wooden handle and, without the slightest hesitation, he stepped through it, heedless of where it might lead.”

The only sound in the room was that of their shared breaths.

Shahrzad’s voice took on a melancholy note. “He found himself wandering through a wood. Stepping into a familiar clearing. Surrounded by a tribe of Weeping Men. The lacquered door before him did not have a handle. In that moment, the not-so-young man understood. So he sat beside his tribe . . . and began weeping.”

The silence stretched thin for a time. “Why did you choose that particular story?” Khalid finally asked.

Another stretch of silence. “Sometimes . . . I worry I want too much,” Shahrzad said.

“It’s not possible. For you deserve everything you want and more.”

She shifted to rest her chin on his shoulder, causing Khalid to wince.

“Does it hurt that much?” Her concern was all too evident.

A part of Khalid knew he should lie to spare Shahrzad worry. But he simply did not see the point. To him, lies rarely served their intended purpose. Except in necessitating more lies.

“Yes,” Khalid admitted. “But I’ll live.”

“I have something that might help.” Shahrzad placed a suggestive kiss in the middle of his back.

Despite the siege in his forehead, Khalid considered her offer. Her dark hair was a shining veil against his shoulder. The smell of rain clung to every curl. Even now, he could picture the way her lips parted when he kissed the hollow at her throat. The way her soft breath washed across his skin. The way her slim hands—

Khalid almost groaned in defeat. “I am more than willing, but I believe we’ve tried that remedy tonight. More than once.”

Another lilting spate of laughter filled the air. She slid off his back, leaving him cold. Khalid cracked open his eyes to see Shahrzad step to her pile of discarded garments.

When she returned, she held a square of green stone in her palm, strung onto a leather string. “It’s a talisman. Musa-effendi said it might help to ward away your sleeplessness.”

“Musa-effendi?” Khalid rolled over in protest. The last thing he desired was a gift from the cowardly magus he’d known as a boy. The coward who’d stood by and watched his mother drown in her own blood.

“Enough.” Shahrzad raised a hand to his chest, staying his objections. “Take help when it is offered, Khalid-jan. True strength isn’t about sovereignty. It’s about knowing when you need help and having the courage to accept it.”

Though his eyes burned, Khalid studied her as she spoke. As though he were forming an imprint, forever indelible in his mind. Her impudent chin. Her jewel eyes and vagabond hair. No one could deny that Shahrzad was beautiful. But it was not simply her beauty that captivated Khalid beyond compare.

It was the way she carried herself with such poise.

Such strength.

“You’re very wise, Shahrzad al-Khayzuran. Perhaps you should rule Khorasan. And leave me to languish in your chamber, until you have need of me.”

“Perhaps I should.” She lay alongside him. “But I was not born a boy.”

“I’ve long thought such a thing should not matter.” Khalid draped one of her legs around his.

“Will you at least see if the talisman works?”

In place of a response, Khalid buried his face in her dark waves, taking in the fragrance of lilacs and rain. She blew an exasperated puff of air above his head.

“You—”

“I’ll try it,” he said into her neck. “Now go to sleep.”

Shahrzad turned away from him, burrowing into the crook of his arm.

“Khalid?”

He fought back the beginnings of a smile. “Yes?”

“You don’t need to say you love me. I know you do. But . . . may I ask why you won’t?”

Though it was posited nonchalantly, Khalid felt the beat of Shahrzad’s heart between her shoulder blades. Felt it quicken. And it pained him to know he’d given her cause to doubt his affections. But he’d known for some time that he owed her an explanation.

In truth, he owed her much more than that.

Of course she wanted to know why. She was a girl who freely spoke her mind and generously bestowed her sentiments on those she found deserving. After all Khalid had done—and everything he’d failed to do—it would forever amaze him that she still found him to be one of the deserving.

Khalid pulled her closer. “At Ava’s grave, I swore I would spend my life showing those I loved how I felt, and never resorting to words. I promised I would do for others what I’d failed to do for her. Not to profess love. But instead to act upon it.”

They lay in silence for a time. Though he was unable to see her reaction, Khalid knew she was thinking. Knew she was taking his promise into consideration.

Perhaps it was foolish of him to hold fast to it. A promise to a girl who no longer lived. A girl who had suffered so greatly in life. And died with his lie blistering her ears.

A lie of love. The one thing she’d asked of him.

The one thing he’d never attempted to give.

In all things, Khalid had failed Ava. In this, he wished to succeed.

And he did not make promises lightly.

“I understand,” Shahrzad said.

“Shazi—”

“Since you can’t say it, will you at least tell me how much you love me?”

Khalid ran the tip of his nose beside her ear, a grateful smile upon his lips.

“From the stars, to the stars.”