Chapter 12
What You Really Want
Arthur looked back once again, hoping to catch a glimpse of the young girl once again, but she was gone. Arthur slowed down as he got to the gate of the estate, riding watchfully in case the steward at the gate was there. There was no one there as he passed, so he quickly rode past.
Last night had been incredible. Arthur blushed as memories of the night before washed through him. His heart still trembled, and his member still throbbed. Rebecca was only a delight to be with. He had not forgotten the feel of her body, but now that he had been so reminded, his body and mind were reinvigorated, and he knew he could only thirst for her. The strain of motherhood hadn’t affected her body much, only softening her up. Arthur slowed his horse to a trot. He licked his lips. Last night was incredible.
Arthur remembered that he hadn’t left his house late at night, rode all the way to the other side of town, and stolen into Rebecca’s room just to make love to her, even though it was feeling like it was all worth it right now. He had instead planned to talk to her about their past and clear up matters. He could see that she didn’t understand the circumstances around which he left or the reason he had spent so long. Those were the things he had hoped to talk to her about.
What of her side of the story? She’s hiding something from me.
Miss Wendy had asked if she had told him. What had she not told him? Arthur, on riding to her house the night before, figured that he only knew his side of the story, a side where he carried little fault. He didn’t know her side of the story. What if she felt she had no fault?
Arthur shook his head.
There were loud galloping sounds behind him. Arthur turned and looked back. He saw dust tracking the hooves of the horses on which three excited young men rode. They were riding at what he suspected was the highest possible speed. They looked like they were racing.
It is irresponsible to race on a road that passengers also ply. What if you hit someone?
Arthur would have loved to stop them and let them know his mind, but these guys didn’t look like they could be stopped. They were closer now. A dark skinned lad with a leather outfit encrusted with sharp looking stones and metals was in front, and he looked feral. He was riding a black horse, very black. Arthur moved his horse to the path between the road and the bush, watching the boys from a safe vantage point. The boy soon ghosted past Arthur, his horse’s hooves clattering into the hard ground and sending a whirling breeze past Arthur. The remaining two followed close behind, just as excited but looking less desperate than the first boy. The last runner actually managed to nod to Arthur, who replied his greeting.
Arthur returned his horse back to the road. He could still see the racers in the distance, a plume of dusk following them steadily.
They had better not ride like that into the centre of the town. They’ll kill someone.
Arthur’s mind moved back to where it had stopped off. He suspected that Rebecca had a story of her own that could potentially exonerate her. He wondered how she wanted to explain the host of letters he sent that she didn’t reply to, or how she had so quickly married off before he got home. He wasn’t angry about Harriet. She was a beautiful young girl that was the result of the marriage. When people marry, they deserve to have kids.
But why would she marry him in the first place?
Arthur sped up the horse. He needed to get home more quickly. He might have some assignments waiting for him, and he didn’t want to miss the visit of any dignitary. He was sure his sister was on the lookout at the moment, waiting for him to show so she could verbally tear into him about his lack of knowledge on the proper function and conduct of an Earl. Well, he knew how to function, but he wasn’t sure he could concentrate when the pangs in his heart hurt so much.
I didn’t get what I wanted last night.
Arthur laughed at the irony because that was exactly what he wanted. He had always wanted to be nestled in her sleek sweetness. Now that he had done that, he had to carve out time to visit, officially. He had to find closure and let her know his side of the story. If possible, know hers too, so he could make a decision. Marrying Rebecca wasn’t an assured matter as he wasn’t sure she was ready to marry him.
That didn’t matter because he was sure his heart would finally be at rest if he cleared the air. He would know where he had failed, where they both had failed. And he could then forgive her for tormenting him so much. He would know if she was still an option for marriage or if he had to cast his net somewhere else.
But you don’t want to cast your net somewhere else.
Arthur increased his horse’s pace to a run. He would come back later in the day to talk to her. He needed closure, and the quicker he got it, the better.