10
meg
“Have you seen Jo?” I asked Reeder when I finally found him again.
I had searched the living room, the dining room, and the kitchen, and couldn’t find my sister. I was beginning to panic, imagining Meredith’s reaction when I came home without Josephine.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and checked again, to be sure she hadn’t called or texted me back.
Where the hell did she go? I wondered. She better not have left me here.
It had been close to an hour, and I was ready to go home. I hadn’t seen Mrs. King once since I got to the party. Even though I had spent nearly every day in that house lately, I felt out of place when it was full of strangers.
Reeder told me that, no, he hadn’t seen Jo, and I made my way to the backyard of the house. I grabbed my third glass of champagne and pushed through the back door. Crowds of huddled bodies covered the expansive lawn, and so many lights were strung on the trees. It was beautiful until I heard the shrill voice of Bell Gardiner herself.
“Meg Spring! What on earth are you doing here?”
When I turned to her, she smiled so brightly that for a moment I was convinced that we were friends. But a tiny, barely noticeable falter in her smile reminded me that we weren’t. As much as I didn’t have a reason to not like her, she had even less of a reason to be staring at me like I was intruding on the occasion somehow. At least two hundred people were crammed into the estate, and I could guarantee that most of them didn’t have a clue who she was.
“I was invited.” I managed a smile for her.
No way in hell was I going to let her know she had crawled under my skin so long ago and stayed there.
Her blue eyes sparkled under the canopy lights. Her dress was barely attached to her slim body; only one string on her left shoulder kept the green satin on her body. The entire back of the dress was cut out, showing her creamy skin underneath. She wasn’t even wearing a bra. Bitch.
“Oh, were you?” She paused to look me up and down. “That’s great.”
I looked at the woman next to her and assumed it was her mother. She had the same dark hair and blue eyes as Bell.
“Congrats on your engagement,” I told her.
She shot me a pitying look. “It must be hard for you.”
I looked around at those surrounding us and realized everyone had fallen quiet. They were watching us like we were the series finale of Gossip Girl.
Bell looked down at her ring, and I fumbled for words. Why would it be hard on me? John was coming back next week from West Point. I couldn’t imagine that her fiancé would have better stats than that.
I decided to behave like a mature adult and smile instead of spit in her face. The thing I hated most in life was to look foolish in front of people, and there was Bell Gardiner trying to make me look pathetic and less than her and her stupid green dress and big emerald engagement ring.
“I’m happy for you, really, Bell.”
I turned to walk away and saw Shia approaching.
Oh no, no, no, I thought to myself. My fists balled at my sides and I didn’t want to be stuck between those two. Not that night, not ever.
“Shia, honey!” Bell waved her hand in the air, and I stopped moving my feet so my brain could try to think of something witty to say if either of them sassed me.
Where was her fiancé anyway? If he loved her enough to buy her such a beautiful ring, why wasn’t he standing at her side at their extravagant party?
I tried to dodge Shia’s eyes as he neared us, but I couldn’t. I hated the way he always pulled me back to him, even when I hadn’t seen him in so long. He was wearing something I never imagined I’d see him in. His black dress pants and black button-up shirt perfectly matched the black blazer he wore. Before that night I had only seen him in jeans and T-shirts.
I tried to look away from his green eyes, but couldn’t find it in me.
“Look who came to congratulate us.” Bell Gardiner’s words went right over my head until she reached for his hand and pulled him to her side. He kissed her hair.
My legs went numb. I couldn’t begin to form a coherent thought as I watched her take his hand between her two.
Her ring shone, blinding me.
What the hell kind of joke was this?
Bell Gardiner and Shia King?
How?
Why?
He regarded me coolly. “Thanks for coming, Margaret.”
Margaret? Since when was I Margaret to him?
A dark memory interjected that I had probably become Margaret when I left him waiting for me at the airport. That’s when I became a full-name acquaintance.
“It’s nothing,” I said. The words were like glass shards in my throat.
I couldn’t believe that I was living in a world where Bell Gardiner and Shia King were the happy, engaged couple that this party was for. I didn’t even know the two of them were still in touch.
All the hours I spent with Mrs. King in this house, at the store, at her country club, and she never once mentioned anything about Shia and Bell. Or Bell and Shia. Or this party. Not once. Really, she barely mentioned Shia at all—she mostly talked about her two daughters, who she was so proud to talk about. Both of them had graduated law school, following in the footsteps of Mr. King, the most prominent, most wealthy lawyer in the entire state of Louisiana.
“Isn’t this party great?” Bell asked.
I knew she was talking to me. I was afraid that I wouldn’t have the strength to look up at her and meet her eyes, so I remembered what Meredith always told us: “Never, ever, let anyone take your strength, girls. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than whole, and if they try, show them who you are.” She had told the four of us girls that so many times that by the time I was ten I had it memorized. I think she said she read it in a book when she was pregnant with me.
I lifted my eyes to Bell Gardiner and Shia. My smile stretched my cheeks, and I hoped my lipstick was still in place. “It’s great, really. Thank you for inviting me. I lost Jo somewhere. I’m going to go find her, but you two have a good night.”
I didn’t give them enough time to so much as blink before I turned away, trying to confidently sway my hips as I disappeared into the crowd.
My eyes were stinging when I found Jo leaning against the wall and drinking a glass of champagne.
“You shouldn’t be drinking. Meredith will kill me,” I said.
Jo rolled her big brown eyes at me. “It’s fine. I won’t tell her. Are you ready to go?”
Her cheeks were red and I wanted to tell her about Shia and Bell, but I needed a minute or thirty. “Have you ever drank before?” I grabbed another glass of champagne from the table next to us, downed it, and reached for another.
“Yes. Once. Beth and I got into Dad’s liquor stash when we were at Fort Hood.” She smiled. “We were so sick the next day.”
A vague memory of Beth holding Jo’s long hair over the toilet popped into my mind. “I can’t believe Beth, out of all people.” I laughed a wry sound.
“Did you ever find out who Bell Gardiner’s fiancé is? I haven’t even heard anyone talking about it. I think everyone just came for the free booze and finger sandwiches. No one likes Bell Gardiner.”
The champagne bubbled and burned in my mouth.
“I don’t know,” I lied. “But you’re right about no one liking Bell Gardiner.”
So many times I had wanted to share more with Jo, to let her grow up faster than my parents wanted to let her. Meredith was good at teaching us to be strong, to be capable, but she lacked in teaching us anything about the reality of being a teenager. She told me once that she had to grow up too fast and didn’t want that for us. I understood that to a point, but Jo had probably never even kissed a boy, I thought with wonder. By her age, I had slept with three. I didn’t apologize for it then, and I definitely wouldn’t now.
“I have to pee. Then can we go?” I sucked down the last of the liquid. I’d lost count of how many I’d had. My chest had stopped aching, but I couldn’t help but think about Shia and Bell. It made no sense to me. Their personalities couldn’t be more different. With his extensive travel, how did they maintain a relationship at all, let alone keep it strong enough to be engaged? How long had they been together? I didn’t have a clue. I had kept tabs on his life, or thought I had, but clearly I was slacking in the cyberstalking department. That, or he didn’t care enough about her to even so much as mention her online.