Chapter Seven
As the Lady Harewood sailed below Australia to reach the port of Sydney on the eastern side, they could see land in the distance. At first, the men crowded about the railing of the ship, eager for a glimpse of their new home. Soon they realized all that met the eye were dense forests and foreboding, rocky headlands. It cooled their excitement considerably.
On deck one afternoon, the captain called for order. Surveying the convicts, he waited so long to speak that Colin was sure he was only doing it for dramatic effect. The sun beat down overhead, and Colin edged his way to the shade below one of the ship’s masts. He spent much of his time on deck trying to prevent his skin from being fried.
The captain finally spoke. “If the seas are on our side, tomorrow we shall reach Sydney Cove.”
There was a murmur among the men and the settlers who stood on the upper deck, along with the captain. One of the children clapped joyfully, prompting laughter from many. Surprisingly the captain didn’t seem to mind. He waited until he had all eyes on him once more. “Upon our arrival, we will be met by the colonial secretary, the chief superintendent of convicts, and other officials.”
He surveyed the prisoners solemnly. “Your fate rests in these men’s hands. Once they decide on an appropriate course of action, you will begin your new lives in service to the colony. May God have mercy on your souls.”
The captain strode away, and the men talked quietly among themselves. Staying in the shade, Colin sat and contemplated the future, which, after months of waiting, was suddenly on the horizon.
“May I join you?”
Colin looked up to find Reverend Sewell standing over him. He glanced about to ensure no one was listening before calling him by name. “Hello, Richard. Yes, please do.”
The reverend sat. He wore a wide-brimmed hat that protected his fair skin, although his ginger freckles stood out more strongly than ever. “How are you feeling now that we’ve almost arrived?”
“I’m not sure. Apprehensive. A little excited. Very glad to be getting off this ship.”
Richard chuckled. “That makes two of us. I’ve had my fill of the seafaring life.”
“You don’t think you’ll ever go back?”
“To England? No. No, I don’t imagine I will.”
“It’s just all so…final.”
“Yes, I suppose it is.” Richard clasped Colin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll find your way. God has a plan.”
“I hope his plan agrees with that of the superintendent of convicts.”
As Richard squeezed Colin’s shoulder encouragingly, Colin noticed Patrick watching them from twenty feet away. Richard followed his gaze and took in Patrick’s glare. “That’s the man you were brought here with, isn’t it?”
They’d never discussed the nature of Colin’s crime nor any of the other details of how he’d ended up a convict. “Yes. I’ve known him for years. We were friends once.” He had no idea what they were now. A few more times, they’d come together at night for furtive groping. In the day they carried on as normal, as if nothing happened between them in the darkness. Colin never knew where he stood.
“He seems discontent.”
Patrick turned away from their gazes, and Colin watched him disappear into the crowd. “I don’t know what he feels.” Just the night before, Colin had moved to kiss him as they’d rutted against each other. Patrick would never allow it, always turning his face away.
“I’m sure you’ll make new friends soon. You won’t be a prisoner forever. With good behavior, you could have your freedom in only a few years.”
A few years. It seemed a lifetime. “Yes, perhaps.”
“You’ll have to look me up and join my parish.” Richard smiled.
Colin decided to ask the question he’d been wondering since he’d met the reverend. “Doesn’t it bother you? The fact that I’m a criminal? That I’m a sodomite?”
Richard paled slightly. “Please don’t use that word.”
“But it’s who I am.”
“That’s not true!” Richard took hold of Colin’s forearm, squeezing as he spoke intently. “You can overcome your nature. With God’s help, you can be a better person. A righteous man.”
“I don’t think so.” Colin tried to withdraw his arm, but Richard held fast. “At least not in the way you see it.”
“Yes, you can. I know it. I myself—” He stopped suddenly and seemed to engage in a fierce internal debate. After a few moments, he sat back and his hands fell to his lap. “You must pray to the Lord for strength, Colin. Pray for his guidance to lead you to salvation.”
Colin thought of the relief he’d felt when his secret had been revealed. Of the pleasure he’d found in Patrick’s arms. “I don’t think my salvation is the same as others’.”
Richard took on the tone he used for sermons. “Of course it is. With the Lord’s help, we can—”
“Change?”
“Yes. Change.” Richard nodded encouragingly.
“The thing is, I don’t want to change.”
Richard’s smile faded. “Of course you do. You need to repent. To atone for your sins. We all do.”
“A sin could never feel so natural. So right.”
“I know it may seem that way, but trust me, you must seek a righteous path. I fear for your soul, Colin. You’re so much better than the rest of these men. You’re special.”
“I do seek my path, Richard. But I don’t think I shall find you on it. I don’t want to change the man I am. I want to discover him.”
Richard’s face was rigid. “You must school your aberrant desires. Only then will you find happiness and purpose. Only then.”
Colin imagined a life of repressing his desires as he had for the last three years. It was unthinkable. Resolved, he stood. “Thank you for your friendship and counsel, Richard. I hope you find what you’re looking for in Australia.”
“Colin, wait!”
As Colin wove through the other men on the deck, he didn’t look back.
Colin’s stomach growled as curfew approached. He lay on his bunk, trousers rolled to the knees and shirt undone to try and get even a bit of relief from the heat. Being slick with sweat had become normal, as had being constantly hungry. After the typhoid outbreak, their rations had been only the remaining salt pork and beef stores, and the hunger was pervasive.
“Last night.” Patrick stood beside the bunk, his shirt hanging open as well. Although he’d lost weight on the voyage and especially due to the sickness, Colin still found himself admiring the planes of Patrick’s chest.
“Hard to believe, isn’t it?”
“Aye.” Patrick ran his hand through his hair, which had become quite shaggy. They were all in desperate need of a cut. “Suppose you’ll miss your friend.”
“Who?” Then it occurred to him. “Oh, you mean Richard?”
“Richard, is it? Surprised he hasn’t arranged for some private prayers for the two of you tonight.”
Colin was puzzled by Patrick’s rancor. “Private? I don’t think that’s permitted. Besides, he doesn’t say much differently to me than he does in his sermons. He means well, but I don’t think he can help me.”
“He wants to help himself to you,” Patrick scoffed.
“Reverend Sewell? Wants me?” Colin laughed, disbelieving. “He’s only being friendly.”
Patrick rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how you’re going to get along without me if you can’t tell when someone is after your tight little arse.”
At the thought of being separated the next day, Colin was suddenly serious. He pushed aside all thoughts of Richard. “I don’t know how I’ll get along without you either.”
“To bed!” a guard’s voice bellowed. The lights faded throughout the hold a few moments later.
As the darkness descended, Patrick unexpectedly hoisted himself up onto Colin’s berth. He rolled atop Colin, and Colin’s body responded immediately. Their hands roamed, and Colin relished Patrick’s weight pressing him down. He wished ardently that they had the freedom to truly mate together, that he could experience Patrick inside him.
As Patrick stroked him, he explored the side of Colin’s neck with his mouth. He whispered, “You’ll get by. Keep your head down, and treat everyone with suspicion. Everyone.”
Colin panted softly and reached for Patrick, quickly opening his trousers and squeezing him. He wanted to beg Patrick to stay with him, even though he knew the decision was out of their hands. Even if sent to the same prison, they might never see each other. The labor crews would likely be scattered throughout the colony.
They rubbed their cocks together, and Patrick took them both in his large hand, their skin slick. The divine pleasure built, and Colin imagined he was bent over, Patrick’s cock inside him, filling him, completing him. He thrust up into Patrick’s hand and spilled, a cry escaping his lips.
They couldn’t prolong their pleasure, as the fear of being caught always hung overhead. Patrick grunted and came a few moments later, his face in Colin’s neck. They remained tangled in each other’s arms, chests rising rapidly. Colin tightened his arms around Patrick’s back. He never wanted to let go.
After their few minutes of indulgence, Patrick raised his head. Colin could barely see his expression, and his fingers traced Patrick’s face as if memorizing it. Patrick spoke softly. “You’re stronger than you think, Colin.”
It was the first time in years that Patrick had called him by name, and Colin liked the sound very, very much. Holding Patrick’s face in his hands, he leaned up and pressed their lips together. For the first time, Patrick didn’t turn. He kissed Colin gently. Then he rolled away and was gone.
When Colin woke the following morning, it took him a moment to work out what was unsettling him. He realized the ship was at a standstill. The air was as stifling as ever, and without the motion of the sea, it seemed even more oppressive. Patrick’s bunk was empty, and Colin knew a moment of fear that he was already gone and off to some far-off corner of the colony.
Happily, he soon realized all the convicts were still in the barracks. When they were allowed up to bathe, there was a barber waiting. They each took a turn in a hard-backed chair as their hair was mercifully sheared. The barber left them all with just a couple of inches of hair, and Colin was quite relieved to say good-bye to the shag that had constantly been in his eyes of late.
As he washed himself, Colin took in the view of Sydney from the ship’s deck. Buildings lined the cove and what appeared to be the entire town spread out behind. He could see narrow streets and buildings, a sprawling city much bigger and quite a lot more civilized than he’d expected. Perhaps Australia wasn’t such an untamed land after all.
They were all herded back down below for breakfast rations, and then they waited. And waited, and waited. The hours crawled by. Men talked quietly or returned to their bunks to sleep. Tension filled the air as they wondered what their fates would be.
As the afternoon wore on, the apprehension turned to frustration and anger that they were being kept at bay unduly. Just before dinnertime, a guard shouted for attention and informed them that they weren’t going anywhere on this day. There was much grumbling in response, and the guards forced the prisoners to return to their bunks. The jailors patrolled the narrow aisles, ready to quash any rebellion.
That night, Colin thought about sneaking to Patrick’s berth, but just as he was about to slip down, he heard someone coming and pretended to be sleeping. Through his lashes he saw the form of a guard pass by. The last thing he or Patrick needed was to be caught together on their last night on the ship, so Colin resolutely closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.
The next day, thank goodness, there was a whirlwind of activity as the convicts were split into their usual groups and taken to different areas of the ship to be interviewed by an official. A man Colin assumed to be the superintendent chatted with the captain on the upper deck. Colin could see no sign of the settlers and assumed they had been ferried to shore the day before.
He waited anxiously for his turn. Colin couldn’t spot Patrick from where he stood and wondered if there was any rhyme or reason to how they were being interviewed and if which official they met in particular had a bearing on their fate.
The sun bore down, and Colin shuddered to imagine what summer would be like if this was spring weather. He’d heard the seasons were back to front in this corner of the world and that as they neared Christmas, it would become hotter and hotter.
Colin was still ten men away from the front of his line when the guard named Ford appeared at his side, his large hand tight on Colin’s upper arm. “You’re coming with me.”
Colin was in no position to argue and fell into step as Ford led the way through the throng of men. It seemed they’d also been joined on the ship by curious locals, and the deck teemed with people. On the other side of the ship, Colin was led down into a storeroom on the mid deck.
A government official waited inside, seated at a makeshift desk of a plank of wood atop two barrels. Colin blinked in surprise when he saw Patrick standing in the corner. A ghost of a smile tugged at Patrick’s lips.
The middle-aged official, who had thinning hair, a large gut and a prominent red nose, cleared his throat and seemed to stifle a belch. “Name?”
Colin waited a moment before answering, unsure if it was he who was being addressed. Ford elbowed him sharply, and Colin spoke. “Lancaster. Colin.”
“Crime?”
Colin knew his face was now as red as the official’s nose. “Attempted buggery.”
The man said nothing and shuffled through some papers. Finally he spoke. “Sentence to be no less than two years, and up to…well, as many years as we want to give you, really.”
Not sure what his response should be, Colin glanced at Patrick, whose shoulders inched up in a tiny shrug. The official sat back in his chair, which creaked ominously. His bleary eyes met Colin’s. “You’re both extremely lucky you’re of such low moral character.”
“I…” Colin had no idea what to say.
“And why’s that?” Patrick spoke up.
Ford glared and took a menacing step in Patrick’s direction. “Speak when spoken to.”
The official ignored them and went on. “You will both accompany one of the settlers from this ship and assist her in driving a herd of cattle inland. You will do everything and anything she orders you to.”
Ford smirked. “We know the lady’s virtue is safe with you two sodomites.”
The official smiled for the first time, baring his yellowed teeth. “Quite. But understand that a close eye will be kept. More and more we’re putting you convicts to work across the colony, but make no mistake—you are prisoners. You will obey in everything you are told to do. Be grateful for this chance to go about free of leg irons, but never forget you are captives of Australia.”
Colin wasn’t sure what to think about this turn of events, but his heart leaped at the news that he and Patrick would be together. As long as he was with Patrick, he didn’t care what work they did or where they were sent. He glanced at Patrick, whose expression he couldn’t read.
Ford led them outside and put them in a line of men waiting to be ferried to the mainland. He stayed alongside and boarded the small boat with them. The convicts were instructed to row, and Colin watched the Lady Harewood recede into the distance, glad to be bidding it farewell. As they sailed away, Richard appeared at the ship’s rail.
“Colin!” His shout was faint.
Colin had forgotten about him and felt a pang of regret that he hadn’t said a proper good-bye. Richard had been kind, even if Colin didn’t agree with him on certain matters. Colin put down his oar for a moment and waved. He heard his name on the wind again, but then they were ashore. He turned and splashed onto land.