two
I heard Nick’s sharp intake of breath as he almost knocked me out of the way to shake Jack’s hand.
“Hi, Jack. I’m Nick. I saw you in your movie Her Better Half. Loved it! I also saw your pictures in Entertainment Weekly. Are you living here in L.A. now? Are you excited for Time to come out? Wow, you’re pretty.” Nick had forgotten to breathe and only stopped talking because he ran out of air.
I watched as Jack’s face changed from surprise to confusion, then moved on to wonder and finally barely contained laughter.
I giggled and began to extricate Nick’s hand from Jack’s. “Settle down, big guy. You can tell Jack he’s pretty all night long, but you don’t want to shock and awe him in the first five minutes.” I turned to Jack. “Hi, I’m Grace Sheridan—Super-Sexy Grace Sheridan. It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand while Nick panted next to me. “And you are quite pretty,” I added as Jack smiled back at me.
Now that my surprised blinders were off, I saw a tall, lean young man who was almost a foot taller than me. He was wearing faded jeans, a black T-shirt with a gray zip-up jacket, and oh my, were those Doc Martens? He had on an old gray baseball cap and a few days’ worth of scruff that was definitely working for him. He seemed very comfortable in his skin, which, for a second, I imagined pressed up against mine in a tight embrace.
The guy looks young enough to be your kid, Grace.
Yes, but only if I’d really slutted it up in junior high . . .
I shook my head to clear it a little and saw Holly working her way across the kitchen to greet Jack.
“Hello, sweetness. How’re you tonight?” she asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leaning in for a quick peck on the cheek.
“I’m well, thank you. I’ve just been meeting Grace and, uh, Nick, was it?” Jack smiled again and Nick swooned. I snorted and Jack winked at me mischievously.
“Grace is my girl,” Holly said. “We go way back. And Nick, well, Nick is necessary,” she said teasingly.
Nick feigned annoyance and responded, “Bitch, please. Where are you gonna find another man who will take you to see New Kids on the Block? And go along with the lie that it was work related?”
I almost spat out my cocktail, I was laughing so hard. Holly was the biggest closet New Kids fan around. I was one of the very few who knew this secret, maybe because I shared it.
“I don’t know why you’re laughing, Miss Thing,” Nick said, turning his gaze to me. “You still fantasize over Joe McIntyre like you’re thirteen years old!”
“Oh, I own my obsession. If Joey Joe were here right now, I’d break him. I have no shame,” I said, drinking the rest of my martini.
Jack leaned over and whispered to me loudly enough for Holly to hear, “Is that why she’s been trying to get me an audition for Donnie’s next film? Should I be concerned?”
With him this close, I finally noticed his eyes. Wow, they were intense. Dark emerald green with flecks of gold.
This guy must get so much play.
I leaned closer to him and said quietly, “You only need to worry if she asks you to dance for her. Watch out for that.”
He gave me a sexy little smile while Holly took him by the hand and began leading him away. “Okay, kids. I need Jack to meet a few people. I’ll deal with you two later.”
The two of them headed back into the living room as Jack waved over his shoulder, leaving me and Nick to laugh in the kitchen.
“So, you played that real smooth, Nick. Is that the hottie you’ve been raving about all night?”
“Don’t act like you didn’t think he was cute. I saw the way you checked him out,” he said, fanning himself. “I made such an ass of myself! I wanted to play it cool when I saw him, but I couldn’t make myself shut up! Did I actually tell him he was pretty?” A blush stained his cheeks.
“Yeah, you did. But don’t worry about it. When I first moved out here, I was convinced I recognized an actor from Baywatch in the supermarket. I stalked him from produce all the way to the bakery, and when he finally looked at me, I muttered the word Hasselhoff and then ran and hid in the soup aisle. I still get embarrassed when I see a box of Cup Noodles.”
“You should be embarrassed, because you’re still buying Cup Noodles, but whatever. Let’s get plowed and flirt with pretty boys!” he said, refilling my martini glass, making it extra dirty.
I laughed and ignored the fluttering in my tummy when I heard a British accent floating in from the other room.
Later that night, Holly and I were out on the terrace overlooking the city, working our way through our fourth cocktails and toasting her success. Nick came out to say his good-nights and slipped his arm around my waist.
“Okay, bitches, I’m taking off. Be good, and make sure no one goes home with my pretty boy. I need to make sure he stays pure until I can convince him to switch teams,” he said teasingly, wagging his finger at Holly.
“How do you know he doesn’t already play on your team, Nick?” I asked.
Holly laughed and said, “Oh, sweetie, Jack is the hottest thing to hit this town in a while. He’s got girls throwing themselves at him every night. He’s discreet, but he is hittin’ that shit.”
“Oh, God, I can’t hear any more. It’ll make me too sad. I’m going home to weep over some Manilow,” Nick cried as he made his way back into the house. He passed Jack on his way, who was talking to two girls over by the piano, and he winked at Nick. I heard Nick mutter, “Tease,” as he walked by, and I could see Jack chuckling.
“So, I get that he’s cute,” I said, “and what girl doesn’t like an accent? But why is he the next big thing? Nick mentioned something about a movie coming out—Time or something?” I asked as we watched Jack talk to the two girls, who couldn’t stop giggling at everything he said. I noticed he bit down on his lower lip constantly.
Was he nervous?
“Grace, are you serious? You can’t be serious. Time?” Holly looked at me incredulously.
“What? Is this something I would know about?” I wracked my brain trying to remember if I had heard anything about this movie but was drawing a blank.
“You’ve never read the short stories Time is based on? You really don’t know anything about them?” she asked, still looking shocked.
“Hey, I’ve had a lot going on lately. I haven’t had a lot of time to read much. Besides, you know I read mostly nonfiction,” I answered, looking at Jack through the glass of the French doors.
“It’s a series of short stories that were written for a women’s magazine, and they have everything you have ever wanted: passion, love, adventure, sex, humor. Practically every woman I know is in love with them! The main character, Joshua—holy hell. He’s a sexy scientist man traveling through time, and in each story he’s in a different period and with a different woman. This movie is going to be huge!” she squealed.
“Hmm, I’m not usually a romance fan. Too schmaltzy, ya know? Not really a fan of science fiction, either. Gimme a good historical nonfiction, like the new book about Lincoln. They now think that he—”
“Oh, would you shut up?” Holly interrupted. “Honestly, it’s like you’re sprinting toward the retirement home! And Time isn’t romance, it’s just . . . Gah, I can’t describe it! That’s why this movie is such a big deal—and why Jack is such a hot commodity right now. Women are losing their minds across this entire country waiting for it to come out, and he’s Joshua. Oh man, I can’t wait for you to read them! Swear to me right now that you’ll read them!”
I had only ever seen her this worked up when Donnie Wahlberg was involved. “Jesus, fine. Calm down. Yes, I will freaking read them,” I said, noticing that Jack was coming toward us.
“Jack, listen to this,” Holly called. “Grace hasn’t read the Time short stories. She’s never even heard of the movie!” she said as he walked onto the terrace.
He stared at me dramatically and then swept me into a close hug. “Run away with me,” he said quietly, pulling back to look at me, placing a hand on each side of my face.
I chuckled nervously and then got control.
“Are you asking random women to run away with you, Jack?” Holly asked, and he dropped his hands from my face, looking at me in mock adoration.
“Random? I meant it!” he said. “I told you before: the next female I met who hasn’t heard of this silly little film, I’d run off with and have a tasty little tryst to satisfy the gossip magazines. How lucky am I that she seems normal?” he joked back.
“I really wouldn’t rush to judgment on that yet. You don’t know how abnormal I am,” I stated, placing my hands on my hips.
“I have to tell you, Jack, she’s not right in the head,” Holly said, warning him. “You don’t want any of this. Believe me, I know. I’ve known Grace since college, and she’s insane.” She knocked back the last of her cocktail.
“Wait—is this your best friend Grace? The one who leaves piles of Chex Mix around the house?” he asked, looking back and forth between us.
“Yep, this is my Gracie. Now ask her why she leaves piles of Chex Mix around the house,” Holly said teasingly.
I gave her a look. “First of all, thanks for telling my tales all over town, ass. And to clarify, it is not piles all over the house. I happen to not care for the little melba toasts, so whenever I eat Chex Mix, I set them aside. That way, if anyone else wants them, they can have them,” I said, showing Holly my middle finger.
“I happen to love the melba toasts,” Jack said, laughing at Holly’s face when she realized that this seemed to make perfect sense to him.
“Well, next time I have a pile, I’ll save them for you. Then if you’re ever in some kind of toast emergency—”
“I’ll have some on standby. I feel good about this plan,” he said.
I noticed the two girls Jack had been talking to inside coming out to join us on the terrace. They approached from both sides as Holly began pulling me into the house.
“I’ll see you later, dear. Make sure you come and say good-bye to me before you leave,” she said over her shoulder as we walked back across the slate tiles.
“Let me know when you’re ready for that tryst,” I shot over my shoulder, winking at the girls, who looked a little stunned. I couldn’t resist.
“You, me, melba toasts.” He grinned back at me.
“Since when do you invite groupies to your house?” I asked once we were inside.
“Groupies? Oh, those two? Sweetie, the blonde is an entertainment lawyer and the brunette is a PR exec. But Brit boy over there turns them all into giggling idiots.” She smiled knowingly as I looked back over my shoulder at the three of them on the terrace. Jack was standing between them as they jostled to get closer. He caught my eye and smiled that same sheepish grin.
Wow, a lawyer? Those short stories must be damn good.
An hour later, with the party finally winding down, I was in the kitchen getting some crackers to begin soaking up the five dirty martinis I had sucked down. I was leaning on my elbows on the granite countertop, thinking about how my head was going to hurt tomorrow, when I heard someone come in.
“Hello again,” I heard a British voice say.
I looked up, still half-lying on the counter. “Hello yourself. Did you have a good time tonight?” I asked before shoving a saltine in my mouth.
“Oh, no. Crackers—that’s never a good sign. Too much?” he asked.
“Maybe, if you consider three more than I usually have too much.” I grimaced, remembering the last time I had been hungover. I was really not looking forward to tomorrow.
“I find that the best cure for a hangover is to just keep drinking,” he said, smirking. He walked toward the other side of the counter, placing his hands on either side of me.
“Yes, well, that’s because you’re like seventeen and capable of shit like that. I, on the other hand, will wake up tomorrow feeling like something died in my mouth, with my eyes puffed up like cabbages.”
“Wow, that’s a really descriptive picture. I’m almost tempted to stick around and see that.” He laughed. “And I’m twenty-four, not seventeen, for future reference,” he added.
I arched my eyebrow at him. Young pup. I used to be able to drink and dance all night, get one hour of sleep, and go to work the next day still looking fabulous. Ah, to be young and foolish again . . .
I stretched my arms over my head and then back behind me, trying to work the kinks out. When I looked at Jack, I realized that I had basically just thrust my chest in his face, and he was letting his eyes linger.
“Are you looking at my boobies?” I asked, doing a little shimmy-shake.
He froze and then burst out laughing. “Yes, yes, I guess I am looking at your boobies. They’re quite nice boobies,” he managed to choke out between laughs.
“They are quite nice, that’s true. And all mine. You probably don’t get to touch a lot of bona fide natural boobies here in L.A., but there are still a few of us rocking the real stuff.” I laughed along with him.
“I also think you like men looking at your boobies. Why else did you put sparkles on them?” He finally looked me in the eyes again, still chuckling.
“What are you talking about?” I looked down at the girls and noticed that I did have a few sparkles on my cleavage. “Oh yeah, I guess I did. I put on a little shimmer body lotion before I got dressed tonight.”
“Girls sure do weird stuff. Especially you American girls. So much shimmer and sparkle. Who told you tits were supposed to sparkle? Sorry, boobies,” he said, correcting himself.
“You can say tits, although I prefer boobies. I also like ta-tas,” I said with a straight face.
“How about love pillows?” he retorted.
“Breasticles?” I said.
“Uhhh, how about flapjacks?” he asked, struggling not to laugh.
“Nice, but it doesn’t hold a candle to sweater meat,” I managed to get out before laughing so hard I sprayed saltines all over the counter. He joined me, and I actually had tears streaming down my face as we started wiping up my cracker spittle.
Holly walked in at that moment, took one look at us, and started shaking her head. “Oh boy, what the hell is going on in here? Never mind. Jack, your ladies are looking for you. They’re salivating all over the entryway; it’s time to take them back to your place. Grace, why are there cracker crumbs all over your cleavage?” she asked, staring at my saltine-encrusted chest.
We both started laughing again as I extended my hand.
“Jack, it was very nice to meet you. I hope next time I can contain myself a little more. Enjoy your threesome,” I said with a wicked smile. This guy was great, and I was excited to have maybe made a new friend.
He took my hand. “Grace, it has been interesting, to say the least. And your sparkly boobies are beautiful. Enjoy your hangover.” He shook my hand and laughed again as he left the kitchen, giving Holly a kiss on the cheek as she walked him out.
I watched him leave with his blonde and his brunette, thinking about how much fun this evening had turned out to be.
Holly came back after showing the last of her guests to the door, took one look at the party fouls all over the place, and said, “Clean this shit up in the morning?”
“Or the afternoon?” I asked, holding my head.
“Deal. Let’s go to bed,” she answered, locking up as I turned out the lights. We trudged upstairs, discussing the evening as we made our way down the hall toward our rooms.
“That was a great party, Holly. I’m really proud of you. You’ve done everything you set out to do, and nothing has stopped you. You kind of rock.” I smiled at her and gave her a hug at her door.
“Yeah, I have kicked some ass. Now go vomit. I know you want to,” she said, pointing me toward my room.
“I really do. Night,” I said over my shoulder as I went to collapse.
“Night, dillweed. Seriously, Grace—five dirty martinis?” was the last thing I heard her say as I shut the door and fell onto my bed.
Right before I slipped into sleep, I thought about my sparkly boobies and laughed.