Chapter Twenty-One – Mellie

Upside #21: You don’t have to explain your anger to anyone but the pillow you punch to death.

I could feel his eyes on me.

They burned.

No matter how hard he tried to not look at me, it seemed as though he was incapable of it, just like I was when it came to ignoring the fact he was looking at me.

I didn’t want to talk to him. I hadn’t even wanted to let him in here, as evidenced by me putting my key in the door to stop him.

Damn him for bringing me donuts, though. As soon as he said that, I was weak.

I reached over for the bag and pulled out one of the donuts. The powder went everywhere, but I bit into it anyway without caring.

I didn’t know why I was so angry. It wasn’t that his cousin had walked in. I didn’t care about that.

Okay, I was a little annoyed about that. Just a little.

I lied. I did know why I was angry.

I was angry at myself. I was angry because I’d let it get that far. Not only had I let us go so far, I was willing to go further. I wanted to go further. He was my damn boss, and I’d been sitting on top of him, willing to let him fuck me if he really wanted.

And he had. I’d felt that. I knew he wanted it.

Maybe that was why I couldn’t look at him. Because I knew, one hundred percent, how much he wanted me. I knew how much I wanted him.

If he pulled me to him and kissed me right now, I wouldn’t stop him, either.

“What are you doing over there?”

I looked over at Jake and blinked for a minute.

“Mellie?”

“Oh. Um, it’s just stuff for an event. A couple are getting married in nine months and want to book basically the whole hotel. I’m trying to figure out if we can do it and give a group rate like they’re requesting.”

“How many people are there?”

“Enough to fill all but two rooms. The whole wedding party need to stay here, and it sounds like a huge hoopla.”

“Like…a hundred people?”

“No, think Kim Kardashian when she married that basketball player.”

“I know nothing about the Kardashians.”

Of course, he didn’t. “Big. Crazy. Enough to make me want to stab my eyeballs with a fork.”

Jake laughed, but it sounded hollow to me. He didn’t really mean it, which was good, because I didn’t want him to mean it.

I turned back to my work without another word.

“Mellie?”

I tilted my face away from him and ignored him.

“Mellie. You can’t ignore me forever.”

“I can,” I said.

Jake sighed and got up. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk around the desk and come toward me. He gripped hold of my ankles and threw my bare feet to the floor, then tore the paperwork from me and threw it on the desk.

“You can’t ignore me,” he said firmly. He leaned down and gripped the arms of my chair, bringing his face level with mine.

I sat up straight and glared at him. I folded my arms and kept up my hard stare.

“We can’t ignore this,” he said in a softer, lower voice. “And we’re not going to. I’m not going to sit here in this fucking office with so much unsaid. We’re going to talk about what happened, and if you don’t want to talk, you’re gonna damn well listen to what I have to say.”

I set my jaw.

I didn’t want to hear it, but that didn’t matter.

“I’m sorry.” He searched my gaze. “If Sam coming back is why you’re so angry, then I’m sorry. He’s a dick. Probably one of the most selfish people I know. He knew we were having dinner and—”

“It wasn’t him!” I shoved at his arm, and surprisingly, he let me go. I got up off the chair and walked across the room, running my hands through my hair. “Jesus, I couldn’t care less that he walked in. I’m more annoyed that we were in that situation to begin with.”

“You’re more annoyed we were kissing?”

“Yes!” I almost tore my hair out as I turned around. “Fucking hell, Jake. You’re my boss! If Sam didn’t come back, what would have happened, huh? We’d have gone further, and if we’d had sex, we never would have been able to come back from that.”

“Has it occurred to you that maybe I don’t want to come back from that?”

I rubbed my hands down my face. “We can’t—we can’t even get to that point!”

“Listen to me.” He walked to me and cupped my face. I tried to get him off me, but he simply grabbed my face again and made me look at him. “I don’t care. I don’t care that I’m your boss. I like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I should. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“That doesn’t make this right!”

“And being your boss doesn’t make it wrong. If you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that you don’t feel anything for me, that you never want me to touch you again, then fine. I’ll let you go, and I’ll do just that.”

He searched my eyes. His gaze was dark and intense, and his fingers twitched against my cheeks.

My mouth was dry.

I wanted to say it. I wanted to rip the lie from my throat and tell him just that. I didn’t feel anything, and I never wanted him to touch me again.

But, as he looked into my eyes, I felt everything. I felt stupid and desperate, heady and free. I wanted him to touch me harder, dig his fingers into my skin so I could really feel how bad he wanted me.

“Say it, Mellie. If you really feel that this is wrong, tell me that.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, looking into his eyes. “I just…I can’t tell you that.”

His response was to kiss me. Softly, gently, just one simple touch that sent a shiver down my spine. “I like you. I really, really like you. I want you to understand that. I know this is awkward and not ideal, and I promise you it’s nothing to do with the fact the first part of you I saw was your boobs.”

I dropped my gaze and bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile.

Jake slid one hand down and hooked two fingers under my chin, tilting my head back up. “I mean it.” His smile was lopsided. “You’re the clumsiest person I’ve ever met, but that also makes you the most adorable. And I’m not going to lie; I’m starting to think I might be a little obsessed with you and your eccentricities.”

“I’m not eccentric. I don’t have eccentricities.”

“The first times we met, you either showed me your boobs or smashed something.”

“Don’t forget when I hurt myself.” I paused. I’d just bought into his narrative. “Damn it.”

Jake laughed, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck. He pulled me in to kiss him again while still laughing, so I just pouted at him.

“We still need to talk about this. We need to talk about how it works.” I pulled back from him and sat on the edge of the desk. Why was this such a comfortable position? “So, don’t think we can just waltz into anything without discussing the steps first.”

“Waltz into something. That would be a lot easier than this talking thing.”

“We have to talk!”

“Of course, we do. You’re a woman. You love to talk.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Listen here. If I had my own way, I’d still be sitting in my chair, working, happily ignoring you.”

“You were happy enough to eat the donuts I bought you.”

“Well, duh. They’re donuts. Everyone is happy to eat donuts.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not always happy to eat donuts.”

I gasped, pressing my hand against my chest. “How can you not—you know, I’m starting to question my feelings for you after that. That might be treasonous.”

“I don’t need to eat donuts if I’m going to kiss you.” He walked over to me, licked his fingertip, and pressed it to my cheek. “Because you’re guaranteed to taste just like them.” He turned his finger.

There was powdered sugar on it.

I licked my fingers and wiped at my cheek. I’d probably take off half the make-up I had on there, but I didn’t want to be walking around with anything on my cheek.

Jake laughed. He brought his hands down to my knees and parted my thighs, stepping between them.

Thank God I’d worn a dress with a flirty skirt today. Parting one’s legs in a pencil skirt would be a nightmare.

“So…Talking. Tonight?” Hope flickered in his eyes.

“For someone who doesn’t want to talk, you’re pretty keen on doing so.”

He rested his hands on the tops of my thighs and leaned in. “I know, but I have an ulterior motive.”

“Which is?”

He dipped his head. His lips ghosted along my jaw until his mouth found my ear. “The sooner we clear it up, the sooner we get to fuck.”

My stomach flipped. “Um, well, I guess—that’s a good reason, huh? Yep. Definitely.”

His grin was so sexy it basically tugged on my clit. Not a good thing since he was standing between my legs, and if I made it too obvious, I didn’t think he’d wait until tonight.

“Tonight.” He brought his mouth back close to mine. “We’re going to talk. We’re going to figure it out. I’m going to cook—”

“Oh, dear God.”

“—You’re going to cook,” he corrected himself.

I nodded. “Better. I don’t need food poisoning.”

“And when we’re done, we’ll go upstairs and we’ll finish what we started last week.”

“Upstairs? You’re optimistic for a guy standing between my legs right now.”

“You wanna do it now? I’m not fussy. I’ve got the worst case of fucking blue balls since I was thirteen and saw my first Playboy.”

“Was it Sam’s?” I deadpanned.

He cough-laughed. “Actually, yeah. Yeah, it was.”

“Not surprised.”

“So, tonight? It’s a date?”

I blushed and held his gaze for a second. “It’s a date.”

He grinned, then leaned forward and kissed me. It took him only seconds to deepen the kiss to something more, and my fingers quickly found their way to his shirt and grabbed on tight.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Jake pulled back, groaning. “Why is it that every time I kiss you, I’m interrupted?”

I shrugged as he stepped away from me. “Because your cousin is an ass, and right now, you should be working?”

He stared at me. “You should be working, too.”

“I was until you made me stop.”

“Spitfire? Shut up and work.”

I flipped him the bird, ignoring his stupid grinning face, and sat back down while he went to see whoever was on the other side of the door.

If we were going to see each other, we really needed separate offices, or I had the feeling he’d never let me get anything done.