Chapter Five

 

Upside #5: Whenever you ask if your butt looks big in this, you know you’ll get the truth from the mirror.

 

I licked the last of the sugar from my fingers and threw the donut box into the trash. Wednesdays were my favorite days. I didn’t have to work until two, which meant I could lie in bed until nine and eat donuts for breakfast without wearing pants.

Sure, this morning I was wearing shorts, but that was because I’d had to see the mailman, and I didn’t think he wanted to see my underpants.

I wandered over to my coffee machine right as my phone rang. The shrill noise filled the area of the small room, and I almost jumped as I scrambled across to the microwave to grab it from the top.

“Hello?” I answered, turning around and—a searing pain shot through my big toe. “Owww, motherfucker! Ow, ow, ow!” I grabbed my foot, which left me hopping, and ultimately, I almost fell against the cabinet. “I’ll call you back!” I shouted at whoever the hell had called me and hung up.

I gripped my toe tightly, biting the inside of my cheek. Man, there was nothing worse than stubbing your toe. It throbbed like hell, a dead, dull ache that reminded me of the time I broke my second toe.

No. I couldn’t break another toe. That was the worst thing ever.

I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten through the pain. Thankfully, by the time I reached ten, the pain was slowly ebbing from “cut it off!” to “can I have a cuddle?” on the pain scale.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I glared at my front door as if it had knocked itself. Gingerly, I set my foot back down and awkwardly limped toward the door. Squinting so I could see through the peephole, I froze.

What the fucking hell was he doing here?

Forgetting about my toe, I yanked open my front door and stared at my boss. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well,” he said, holding out a phone. “I called you, and right after you answered, you started screaming. Given that I’m already familiar with your clumsiness, I thought I’d check on you.”

“How did you—what? Are you my neighbor or something? That was two minutes ago!”

“No. I was outside.”

“Why in God’s name were you outside my house?”

He grinned. “I was hoping I could steal a few hours of your time. But now, I’m hoping you didn’t almost kill yourself.”

Lame. I was so lame. And so dramatic.

“I stubbed my toe,” I muttered. “Forgot the table was there.”

“That must have been quite the stub,” Jake said, fighting a smile. “Now, can I come in, or are you going to show the entire neighborhood your nipples?”

I jerked, dropping my head down and, yes. I was going to show the entire neighborhood my nipples. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and they were apparently trying to stage an escape through the front of my shirt.

Great.

Just. Freaking. Great.

Why couldn’t I keep my boobs under wraps around this guy?

I clamped my arm over my chest and spun on the balls of my feet. He laughed and followed me inside. At least, I think he did. I practically ran to the stairs and up them to my room.

Note to self: start sleeping in a bra if it means keeping these boobs in line.

I rifled through my doors but came up empty. There were no bras. How could there be no bras? I had about ten, not that anyone would believe me if I said so. They had to all be in the laundry.

I crept back downstairs and through to the laundry room. They were all either dirty or wet. Where was the one I wore yesterday? That was still clean. I’d worn it once, and taken it off—

Oh no.

I’d come home, and before I’d eaten my dinner, I’d grabbed a tank top and whipped off my bra…

In my living room.

Where I presumed, Jake was right now.

This…Well, this was just going from bad to worse and back again.

Clutching one arm over my chest again, I shuffled into the front room.

“Looking for something?” he asked, reclined on my sofa with his nose in the middle of Cosmo.

“Um, yes. I left something in here.” Where was it? Where was it? Come on, eyes. Look faster!

Without removing his attention from the magazine, he pointed to the floor next to him. “Your bra is right here on top of the clothes you wore yesterday.”

Of course. Of course, it was. Why the hell wouldn’t it be?

I coughed to hide the fact I wanted to choke to death with embarrassment and grabbed the clothes. Jake glanced to the side and met my eye, his lips curved but twitching like he was doing everything possible not to burst out laughing.

I quickly turned and darted away.

And banged my shin on the coffee table.

I gave a sharp intake of breath, but I didn’t stop running.

Because the bastard was laughing. Hard. And if I stopped, I’d punch him while I cried.

I ran upstairs and threw myself on the bed. “Fuck, hell, shit, ass, ahhh!” I rolled while grabbing my shin, then relaxed, huffing out a huge breath.

I had to shut the door to drown out the new round of laughter from Jake.

Of all the people in the world who could buy the hotel…

I shook that thought off. At least I’d showered this morning, so all I had to do was run the brush back through my hair.

I dressed, triple checking to make sure I had my bra on, then went back downstairs to face the music.

The floorboards creaked as I made it to the open-plan downstairs. Jake peeked over the top of the magazine. He’d made himself comfortable. Shoes off, feet up, cushions rearranged.

“Comfy?” I asked.

He nodded, dropping the magazine to his lap. “I thought I should, given that everything happens in threes. Good for you for getting dressed without hurting yourself again!”

I tugged up the waistband of my jeans and glared at him. “It is not funny.”

“It really is. Now I understand why you call yourself an organized hot mess.” He grinned.

“If I were organized, I’d have had a clean bra in my bedroom,” I muttered. “What are you doing here? Wait—how do you even know where I live?”

He sat up, setting the magazine back on my coffee table. “I’m your boss. I have all the employee records.”

“It’s my morning off.” There was no use telling him those weren’t for personal use. I doubted he’d pay attention. “Why are you here?”

“I need furniture for your—our—office. Better desktop storage for your chaos so I don’t want to throw myself off the room, and a better chair for me so I don’t throw it off the fucking roof.”

I snorted. “And why do you need me for that?”

He put his shoes back on and, leaning forward, rested his elbows on his knees. I’d been too busy avoiding looking at him that I hadn’t noticed how nicely that white polo shirt hugged his broad shoulders. The light tan he sported made the shirt even whiter. And he was wearing jeans!

“Because,” he smiled, “It’s your office, so you can choose it all. Except for the chair. If your ass isn’t gonna sit on it, you don’t get to choose it.”

“So, technically, I’m working.”

He paused. “No. You’re…helping.”

“Nope. I’m working. If I’m with my boss and I’m buying things for my place of work, I’m working.” I leaned against the edge of my desk and folded my arms.

Jake sighed, stood, and walked toward me, grabbing something from the table. “Has anyone ever told you you’re absolutely impossible?”

“I was a teenage girl once. Of course, they have. It was my middle name at one point.” I had to peer up to meet his eyes when he’d stopped right in front of me. “It’s my morning off. I don’t have to come with you to do this.”

His lips twisted into a wry smile. “Fine. I’ll pay you overtime.”

I flattened my hand against my chest and, with my best innocent look, said, “You will? That’s so sweet?”

“Right. Sweet.” He handed me a Berry Refresher. I’d been too busy looking at his eyes to notice it. “Here. To wake you up.”

“How did you—never mind. Thank you.” Damn it, now I was smiling at it.

“Grab your stuff. Let’s go. We need to make a stop first.” He headed for the door.

I snatched up my things and threw them in my favorite purse. “Where?”

“The UPS store.”

“Why?”

He pulled open the door and looked at me, smirking. “To buy you bubble wrap before you hurt yourself again.”

“If you weren’t my boss, I’d punch you for that.”

“And you’d probably end up hurting yourself more.”

“Shut up.”

 

***

 

Thankfully, I managed to convince Jake that the ups store wasn’t necessary because I was, in fact, an adult. In was also perfectly capable of not breaking ten bones in a day… at least, that was the story I was sticking to.

I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t break his though.

One hour. We’d been looking at chairs for an hour. I almost wanted to call every ex I’d ever had and apologize for all the times I’d taken them shopping and they’d wanted to kill me.

Then again, clothing shopping was a very serious business. Office chair buying? Not so much.

“For the love of God, Jake. It’s a chair. Anyone would think you’re a princess trying to avoid a non-existent pea!”

He spun around once in a black, leather, high-backed computer chair. “I need the right chair. It’s not as simple as walking in and just buying something.”

“Hello, I’m a woman. I’m an expert at shopping. Pleased to meet you.”

“This isn’t a pair of shoes. This is an important work chair.”

“Have you seen the price of Louboutins?”

Jake paused. “I can’t say I’ve ever imagined myself in four-inch-heels, actually.”

I stared at him. “Pick. A. Chair. We haven’t even touched upon the office section yet, and I have to get to work soon.”

“I can say your boss won’t mind if you’re late because of this.”

“He might not, but there are almost one hundred employees who will wonder where the hell their manager is.”

He tapped a finger against his chin. “Here. What do you think of this chair?”

“Seriously? That’s your response to what I said? Christ on a cracker.”

“I’m not sure why you’d want to put Jesus on a cracker, but yes, seriously.”

I eyed him with annoyance as he stood, motioning for me to take a seat. I did it, shuffling along the floor, never letting my eyes leave him. His smile grew with every step I took, and finally, reluctantly, I stopped in front of the chair and lowered myself down.

Soft.

Like a cloud.

A cloud covered with cold, soft leather.

“Ohhh.” I leaned back, closing my eyes. “I think I just came a little.”

Jake barked out a laugh.

Shit.

I said that out loud.

I snapped my eyes open. “I mean—shit.”

“Two of those, then,” he said, composing himself.

“I don’t—there’s nothing wrong with my chair now.” I jumped out of the chair like my ass was on fire. “Shall we go to the office section?”

He stared at me for a moment, but he didn’t say anything. He wanted to—it was written all over his face. In the glint of his eyes and the barely-there twitch of his lips. In the stretch of his jaw and the scratch of his chin.

Those things told me I didn’t want to hear what he didn’t say.

Why did my boss have to be hot? And know what my boobs looked like?

Man, would I ever get past that?

No.

No, I would not.

“Let’s go,” Jake said after that everlasting moment of eye-glinting and chin-scratching.

Was it bad that I wanted to scratch his chin for him? I bet that stubble could tickle a girl’s fingertips just right.

Sweet Jesus! I was thisclose to Goddamn therapy.

“Mellie? Are you coming?”

“Am I wha—” I stopped and, not seeing him, flailed as I spun around. “Yes. I am.”

“You’re in a little world of your own, aren’t you?” The smile on his face was unmoving.

Did he ever not smile?

“Well, I didn’t stub my toe and break my shin by being on this planet, did I?” I shot him a look as I swept past him to the escalator to go upstairs.

Jake took the step immediately behind me. “What time are you supposed to start?”

“Two o’clock. Why?”

“We need to move.” He prodded my back.

“Why? What time is it?” I jerked around to look at him.

“One-fifteen.”

“Jake!”

“Top of the escalator!”

“What?” I turned a second too late and tripped over the tiny step that led from the escalator to the still floor.

Luckily for me, Jake was close enough to me that he was able to grab me and steady me, stopping me from falling flat on my face.

“Oh my God,” I breathed.

Putting both his hands on my upper arms, he dragged me out of the way of the escalator and looked right into my eyes. “I knew we should have stopped at UPS.”