Chapter 4
They both stared at each other guiltily as Russel hastily removed his fingers and undid the blindfold. Anya hastily drew her dress down and smoothed it as she looked for Russel’s shirt. She handed it to him without meeting his gaze, and they both stood there not knowing what to do.
“Dad? Where are you?”
Anya was standing close enough that she felt Russel’s body heat, and she couldn’t get over the shame she felt, but she was also so turned on, it was painful.
As if reading her thoughts, Russel’s gaze met hers, and he pushed her up against the wall and covered her mouth with his. She swallowed back her moan as her back hit the door, and his fingers slid back under her dress and found their earlier position.
They both froze as the door behind them rattled. His finger stilled while still inside of her as she throbbed painfully.
“Dad? Are you in there? Why is your door locked?”
“Honey?” He sounded hoarse, so he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I came in here to do some work, I must’ve fallen asleep on the desk.”
“That’s okay, Dad. Have you seen Anya?”
Anya began to move her hips eager for the friction she so desperately craved. “She’s um,” he struggled to finish his sentence, “I think she said she was going to meet you there or something. She got an important,” his eyes rolled in the back of his head as Anya reached down and cupped him between her hands. “She got an important phone call,” he managed to bark out.
“That’s weird. Okay, Dad. I’ll see you later then.” They waited for a minute until the front door slammed shut, and Russel resumed his stance with renewed vigor, pumping so hard, Anya had to press herself against him just to keep herself upright. She felt a tremor begin to build up within her, swirling faster and faster until when she was just about to topple over the edge, Russel bit her neck hard causing her to shout as she rode out her high.
White spots danced in her field of vision as her chest rose and fell, the sound of her heavy breathing filling the room, making the air between them even more charged.
She let herself lean against his shoulders, feeling limp as every part of her body thrummed with energy.
“Are you ok?” he asked quietly.
Anya’s head snapped up to meet his, “Am I okay?” She laughed, a hoarse laugh that had her coughing, “I’m better than okay. I think you just killed me.”
Russel gave her a devilish grin, “Believe me, if I wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t be able to stand when I was done much less look at me and have this conversation.”
“Is that so?” Her lips curled into a smile as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“Anya, what I showed you is just the tip of the iceberg, there’s so much more than that,” he said matter-of-factly.
Anya shifted, so Russel was pressed up against her core. “There’s that tip you’re referring to,” she murmured huskily, “How is it that I want more already when I could literally see stars behind my eyes five minutes ago?”
Russel laughed, a deep sound in the back of his throat, “It’s because your body recognizes that it’s never felt anything like this before, and it wants to feel it again.”
Anya moved forward, so she was mere inches away from his lips. She smiled at him, and he smiled back as she bucked her lips against his. Russel’s eyes turned a shade darker as he breathed deeply. “You really ought to be careful not to make the dominant lose control.”
Anya’s heart skipped a beat. “What happens if a dominant loses control?”
Russel frowned as he ran his fingers across her lower lip. “Well, nothing bad, don’t worry. It’s just that the pleasure level skyrockets then, and if the submissive isn’t ready, that much pleasure could probably short wire the senses, and I guess they’d black out.”
Anya gave him an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?”
Russel scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I’m not. I’m not actually sure that’s what happens, mind you. But I have friends who told me.”
“You’ve never experienced it?”
“I’ve never lost control,” he said simply as he kissed the tip of her nose. The absurdly sweet gesture had butterflies forming in the pit of Anya’s stomach. She studied his lean, handsome face, and felt a familiar pang in her heart, wondering if this could ever go anywhere.
If she were being honest with herself, what she felt for Russel wasn’t just lust though, there was plenty of that. She liked him, she genuinely like him.
“Where’s that pretty little head at?” he asked quietly as he leaned his forehead against hers.
“Russel,” she breathed deeply as if she could somehow inhale his name and keep it deep down in her heart where no one could take it away, or tell her that it isn’t real.
“Yes?”
“I like you, and it’s not that I don’t like what we just did. Hell, I loved it, but I feel like my heart could seriously be in danger here because you’re the only guy I’ve ever met that I can have conversations with about books, music, philosophy, and you won’t look at me like I’m high maintenance. You actually make me feel like I’m a smart, funny, and sexy woman.”
Russel traced her face softly, “Oh, Anya. Sweet Anya,” he whispered as he kissed her forehead, “I like you too. I wish you were older. I wish I had met you in college because you would’ve rocked my world then.”
“I’ve met many women twice your age who don’t have half your brains or maturity. Your brain is always coming up with interesting questions and thoughts, and talking to you, it just makes me wish I were younger, sitting on a beach somewhere discussing prose or music.”
“But?” she hedged.
Russel sighed as he took her hand between his and placed a gentle kiss on it, “But in our reality, we come from two different worlds. You’re my daughter’s best friend. You’ve just graduated university, and in a lot of ways your life is just starting. I’m a father in his late thirties who has kinky sexual preferences and classical taste in books and movies.”
Anya gripped his hand, brought it up and placed it on her heart, and she placed her own hand on his. “Do you feel that? Look at how our hearts are beating in sync.”
“Yeah,” he laughed quietly, a look of wonder on his face, “They are.”
“Tell me that feels wrong. Tell me that doesn’t fit into our reality. Because from where I’m standing, we don’t come from two different worlds, we come from the same world, I just happened to be born later, that’s all, but you and I, it’s like we’re…” she paused as her mind raced to come up with a way to explain it.
“On the same wave length?” he suggested.
A smile tugged on the corner of her lips. “Exactly.”
Russel gave her a sad smile, “I think so too, but honestly I don’t know. I’m afraid of letting go of you, walking out of this room, letting you out that door, and realizing that what we felt while we were here might not last. I’m afraid of watching those feelings curl up and hide in a corner where we won’t ever take them out again.”
“Don’t say that. What we feel here right now, that’s real, that’s more real than anything else. Right here, right now with you, that’s more tangible and potent than anything I can feel out there.”
“If Lisa wasn’t my daughter, I wouldn’t hesitate. I don’t care what society thinks, and something tells me neither do you, but I can’t risk my relationship with my daughter,” his blue eyes pleaded with hers.
Anya swallowed past the lump in her throat, “I understand,” she said thickly.
She wished she didn’t. Worse still, she wished she didn’t care. That Lisa’s friendship didn’t matter so much to her that it physically hurt to think of betraying her this way. As it was, it was hard enough knowing that they had crossed a line tonight, a line they could never cross again.
Anya’s cell phone went off, and she met his gaze sadly, “It’s Lisa.”
She unhooked her legs from around his, and he slowly helped her pulled her dress down. He undid the lock with a quiet click and stepped aside, so she could pass through the door.
She grabbed her phone and answered, “Lis, I’m so sorry. My mum called with some sort of emergency. I told your Dad to tell you, I’m finishing up, I’ll be on my way soon.”
She could see Russel slip on his shirt out of the corner of her eye, and she gave him a small smile which he returned. She felt him step up behind her and hug her waist from behind. He placed his head on her shoulder and sighed.
“No, don’t worry. I can handle it. I’m so sorry again. I’ll see you soon, okay?” She hung up, and she leaned back into Russel’s embrace allowing his smell to wash over her.
“You’re not making this any easier,” she mumbled gruffly.
“I know, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself,” he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. He spun her around, so she was facing him before he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Her head fit neatly into his shoulder, and they stood like that for a moment, each unwilling to let the other person go.
“If right now is all we have, then stay for a while longer. I just want to hold you.”
She nodded as she took his hand and pulled him to the couch. She tugged on his hand, so he sat down on the couch, and she sat next to him. She curled her feet underneath her and leaned against his side with his arm wrapped around her. He kissed the side of her head and took her hand in his. She marveled at how good it felt just to simply feel his hand in hers.
She traced his hand with the tip of her thumb and brought it up to her mouth and kissed it gently. He squeezed her shoulder and pulled her closer, so there wasn’t any space between them.
They talked quietly for a few minutes as if they were any other couple in the world, delaying the inevitable separation that loomed on the horizon.
Ten minutes later, Anya regretfully pulled away and gazed at him, “I never got to pleasure you.”
Russel shook his head and gave her a rueful smile, “Are you kidding? Seeing you like that was enough pleasure for me. Besides, it’s probably best that we didn’t. Might’ve made this harder than it already is.” He forced a chuckle.
She gave him a grim smile, “I guess you’re right, but maybe at least from on top?”
Before he could protest, Anya’s hands had found their way to his zipper, and she freed him before she set to work stroking him up and down. She didn’t need much work because he was already ready to go, probably due to their earlier escapades.
Her gaze met his squarely as she watched him struggle to maintain eye contact all the way until the end when his eyes rolled in the back of his head. He breathed heavily as his head rolled back.
He expelled a deep breath before he came back up and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
“Happy birthday, Anya,” he said softly as he removed his arms from around her. He stood up and gave her his hand. She wordlessly took it and headed to the kitchen to get her purse. Neither of them said anything as Anya put on her coat and grabbed her purse.
She took one last look at Russel, who stood there with his hands braced on the kitchen counter, his jaw set, and a resolute look in his eye before she shut the door behind her, letting the door click with a finality that had her heart ache painfully.