12.
Thalia stayed with the fire until everything was finished and then she filled an urn with the ashes, more symbolic than complete. Full dark had fallen, so it was risky to venture out. Rather than put her people in danger, she climbed to the highest point in Daruvar—the roof of the west tower—and let Lileth go. She didn’t weep or say good-bye.
Despite the cold, she lingered, staring up at the starry sky. None of it seemed quite real. How could the world have changed so much in a short time? She was married to the wolf lord, and she’d lost Lil. It was hard not to see this as a trade, considering that Ruark had tried to murder everyone at the head table as the price of her alliance.
Enough. She’d want me to step on Gilbraith instead of wallowing in grief.
Squaring her shoulders, she climbed down and went to her room, where she found Raff waiting with simple food and a thermos of herbal tea. He offered a tentative smile. “I wasn’t sure when you’d get back. Ferith came by to talk about what she’s learned.”
“Let me wash up and then we’ll talk as I eat.”
“Go ahead, don’t mind me.”
This give-and-take was so awkward, but at the same time, it would’ve been worse to come back to a silent room and sit with the knowledge that she’d never see Lil again. Quickly, she took a shower, mostly so her meal didn’t go stone cold. It doesn’t matter. It’s fuel. She dried off haphazardly and shrugged into her robe.
Sometimes it seemed as if she’d spent her whole life embattled. Before she left the confines of Riverwind, it was a cold war, waged against her own father in secrets and schemes. Now, it would become an outright battle, fought against her own people—because they preferred a return to the old ways, or because they didn’t trust her to lead them in a new direction. Two sides of the same coin.
“What did Ferith say?” she asked, stepping out of the bathroom with towel in hand.
“She’s compiled a list of everyone who had kitchen access. There are like thirty names to eliminate, though. It won’t be easy.”
“Anything else?”
Raff shook his head. “She didn’t mention any particular suspicions, if that’s what you mean. I’m volunteering my services as your food sniffer, going forward. We won’t be caught like this again.”
“Thank you.”
If they’d thought to do that before, Lileth wouldn’t have died. Thalia should’ve known better, should’ve realized that if the other houses were acting in opposition, she couldn’t be safe anywhere. As if he sensed those thoughts, Raff stood and fetched her by the hand, tugging her toward the tray.
“I’ve already checked this out and tasted everything. If there was anything wrong with it, I’d be sick by now.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “I never intended for you to become my taster. That…it’s not part of our agreement.”
“Then take it as a bonus service. As you noted before, poison isn’t a good way to do in a wolf.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t talk, just eat. I’ve got a shipment of drones on the way. They’ll help guard the perimeter and the surveillance feature should allow us to detect incursions faster.”
Since he’d said he didn’t want her thanks, she ate her food silently. It was lukewarm but filling, and she pictured him tasting each dish to make sure no harm came to her, a level of protection she hadn’t expected from their marital agreement. Once the tray was clear, he set it outside like this was a fancy hotel. Still, someone would probably pick it up eventually.
Thalia cleared her throat. “Things were…chaotic. At our wedding. Which means we left an important task undone.”
How am I supposed to bring this up?
“…Task?” Raff repeated the word with obvious bafflement. “Is there another part to the ceremony?”
“Consummation,” she said firmly.
In her whole life, Thalia had never propositioned anyone. She’d taken a few lovers at Riverwind, but only after mutual feelings developed and desire built on its own, over time. Her husband’s face reflected sheer astonishment, so she guessed he hadn’t thought of this.
“It’s not the time. Don’t worry about that. We have other problems—”
“This is one of our problems. If we fail to consummate, the marriage can be annulled, and I can be forced to wed Ruark Gilbraith. He will then use me to claim the throne and lock me away as my father did.”
“Like hell,” Raff snarled.
Thalia savored the bittersweet feeling for a moment before she responded. “We must join, whether you want me or not. Divorce is complicated among my people, and your claim will offer security from Ruark’s ill intentions.”
“I don’t want to own you,” Raff protested. “I didn’t realize your society was so…”
“Patriarchal? Yes, it always has been. That is one of the many things I’d like to change, if I survive long enough.”
“What I’m hearing is that we need to have sex.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry if you don’t want to, but we must.”
“Look, you just lost someone who was like a mother to you, and I’m not into coercion. I only take people to bed who are eager for it.”
On a deep breath, she untied her robe and let it drop. “Then get me there. I’ve heard that you can seduce damn near anyone.”
This was pure bravado. Her body must seem thin and frail compared to his Animari lovers, and she couldn’t read his expression at all. If he refused, it would damage her pride and she’d still have to worry about a potential annulment because of Ruark Gilbraith.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” Raff finally asked.
She didn’t know him well enough to want his body, but she did want to get this over with. Thalia nodded. “Yes, please.”
“Then let’s see how we do together. Under these circumstances, I’ll take willing instead of eager. But get this, Thalia. If I can’t make you hungry, we won’t finish tonight. Even if it takes a month of trying, I won’t make you mine until you’re shivering for it.”
That seemed unlikely and quite a waste of time, but she didn’t protest his intentions. It spoke well of him that he cared about her satisfaction, and maybe she could fake the necessary enthusiasm. She’d done that when she didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, and they weren’t getting the job done. Most of her best orgasms, she’d given to herself, possibly because it was so hard to let her guard down.
“Very well,” she said.
“Get in bed. I’ll shower and join you soon.”
While she hadn’t expected him to be overwhelmed with lust at the sight of her bare skin, some reaction would’ve been nice. She kept her dignity as she padded across the room and slid under the covers. Think sexy thoughts. Thalia ran her hands down her body, and it had been long enough that a whisper of pleasure flickered to life. With so many worries whirling in her mind, she couldn’t fan the spark to life.
Sighing, she dropped her hands to the cool sheets. Pretense would have to suffice.
A few minutes later, he came out of the bath in a swirl of steam. With his dark hair tousled and beads of water dotting his beard, he looked…wilder than she’d seen before. His body was very different, brown, broad and hard, dusted with hair. Raff moved to the bed and got in beside her, chucking the towel after he did so.
“Was that to protect my modesty?” she asked, amused.
“Maybe it was to safeguard mine. Come here.”
Raff had never been in a situation like this.
Well, hell. You pride yourself on being good at three things: drinking, fucking, and hunting, not necessarily in that order. Time to prove yourself.
That didn’t give him any insight as to what she liked, though. She was naked beside him yet still cool and remote. He knew she wished he would just get on her and do the job like a contractor, but few things sounded less appealing than making love to someone who didn’t really want it.
Tentatively, he pulled her into his arms. We’ll start with body heat. Raff kissed her temples and touched the fine, silky hair that streamed down her back. The strands were still damp from her bath, and she shivered a little. Does she like that? He sifted his fingers through her hair, but she didn’t move, still and quiet against him.
“Tell me about the hottest thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“What?” She jerked, lifting her head.
Thalia probably couldn’t see him well, but her features were clear, along with the rapid blink of her eyes. Such adorable surprise.
“If you don’t trust me enough to talk about dirty things, how are we supposed to do them together?”
“It’s not hard,” she muttered. Then her small hand darted out and she grabbed his cock. “Shit. It’s really…not hard.”
“I like sex. You could even say I love it, but I don’t bone up on command. You know what turns me on more than anything?”
“What?”
“Being wanted.”
She let out a sigh of a breath that he felt against his shoulder. “Does that mean it won’t work otherwise?”
“What, sex in general? Or my cock?”
“Both, I guess.”
“You were planning to fake it.” It didn’t take a genius to figure that out, but she seemed so surprised. “I’d rather not take you that way, Thalia. Honesty is all we have.”
“I understand,” she whispered.
“It’s all right not to want this. All things considered, it would be a little strange if you did, right now.”
“But I want that peace of mind.”
“You have my word that I won’t let Ruark Gilbraith take you away from me or force an annulment. Is that enough for tonight?”
“Then…should I get dressed?”
“Only if you want to. I like sleeping this way, and your skin feels incredible. You’re like silk all over.”
She made a little sound, pleasure or embarrassment, or both combined. Hesitantly, she put out a hand and touched his cheek, rubbing the curls of his beard between two fingertips. “It’s softer than I expected.”
“Will you answer my question now?”
“About the…hot thing?”
“Yes, princess. Tell me a filthy bedtime story.”
Beside him, Thalia squirmed in his loose hold and her small breasts scraped against his chest. He wasn’t impervious to her beauty, but right now, she didn’t need a quick dicking. Her requirements ran a lot deeper, and Raff didn’t even know if he could meet them. This represented his best effort in good faith, though.
“That was an endearment, wasn’t it? Not my title.”
“It was indeed. And you’re dodging. Again.”
“I’m organizing my thoughts, and I guess…one incident stands out.”
“Incident? You make it sound like a sexual accident.”
“It was, a little. I was in the bath at Riverwind…”
Oddly, her shyness was getting to him. Raff never would’ve guessed that she was so prim. He imagined cutting her loose from all that propriety, and his cock jumped a little. Not now. In encouragement, he stroked her back in long sweeps.
“Big tubs like in Ash Valley or a small, private one?”
“It’s large enough for two, but it’s private. At first, I was just washing up, but at some point, I started…feeling good.”
She hardly seemed to have the words to describe the event, which struck him as endearing. “You got turned on, touching yourself?”
“I suppose. Yes. Well, that, and the warm water. It…I liked it.”
“Mm, that’s lovely, Thalia. So you’re all slippery and wet and naked. Where did your hands feel best?”
“I know this is strange, but…my lower belly. And my thighs.”
“Everyone has different sweet spots. See, this is helping already, I’ll know where to start when the time comes.”
“You—you’re going to touch me there?” She seemed startled for some reason.
“Eventually. Probably not tonight. I’m a patient man. Continue your story?”
“Oh. Well. As I started…doing more, someone from the staff came in. I could hear them moving in the other room, and the bathroom door was ajar.”
“Did you stop?” he whispered, already knowing the answer.
Making her say it was half the fun.
“No. I was scared of getting caught, but…that only made it better. I had to bite down on my hand and be quiet.”
“This story has taught me a lot about you. I’ll keep it in mind for next time.”
“Are we really…not going to?”
“Not tonight.”
She huffed out an angry breath. “I only struggled through that humiliation because I thought it might offer sufficient enticement.”
“Don’t consider it a humiliation. It was only a confidence, one that I will cherish. My wife’s preferences are nobody’s business but mine.”
“You say that with such conviction. If I’m not careful, I’ll start believing in you.”
“Lots of people do, I haven’t been able to work out why yet.”
“It’s because you’re careful with their hearts,” Thalia said. “You’re a fraud, aren’t you? I don’t think you’re a wolf at all.”
“But you’ve seen me change,” he protested.
“Sure, you can turn into a wolf, but at heart, you’re a lamb.”
Ah, she’s joking. For a terrifying moment, he’d feared that she saw straight through him—that she knew he wasn’t fit to fill his brother’s shoes. If not for the entrenchment of his family name, Korin would be leading the pack. As it was, she stood in his shadow and helped him make the right decisions.
“I’m taking that as a compliment. In the morning, I’ll help with deployment of the drones and then I’m taking my wolves to hunt, unless you object.”
“Hunt what?”
“Meat,” he answered, wondering if she found it repugnant. “Though if we run across any intruders, we’ll take care of them, too.”
“I’m sorry we’re not better provisioned.”
“It’s not your fault. I chose to surprise you.” Raff closed his eyes then, listening to the steady thump of her pulse. He could hear her relaxing bit by bit, now that she was sure there would be no naked pouncing.
“And you keep doing it,” she whispered.
“They do say that variety is the best spice for a relationship.”
“Is it? And do we have one?”
“Have what?”
“A relationship.” Her tone made him turn onto his side, so he could see her better, but long hair tumbled across her face, hiding her expression from view.
“That’s a ridiculous question. We chose to get married. We’ve fought together more than once, you saved my life, and we sent your foster mother to the afterworld together. We’re in bed naked. I’ve never had more of a relationship with anyone.”
“Damn,” she said. “When you put it that way, it has been eventful, has it not?”
“All the more reason why we shouldn’t rush the rest. We have three months here and three months in Pine Ridge. At some point, you’ll want me. I mean, just look at me. I’m irresistible.” He offered what he hoped was a charming grin. “And if we spot Gilbraith’s shadow, I’ll put his head on a pike, as you wanted.”
“Oh, I do like you. That pillow talk is remarkable.”
“This criticism, from a woman who thinks a story about wanking in the bath qualifies as foreplay.”
Thalia made a sound low in her throat and swatted at him, but it was a playful move, and she didn’t roll away from him.
It was a start.