18.
“Raff!” Thalia shook him, but he was out, a limp wolf sprawled on a patch of ice. Get him inside. That’s my top priority. With effort, she locked down the panic battering at her mind. He’d helped her keep it together long enough for them to reach the cabin. The rest was up to her. She huffed, wrapping both arms around him and towed with all her strength. He was a large wolf, much bigger than nature allowed, and he was impossibly dense with muscle. Thalia fell twice, scrambling in the slush and mud. Her breath came in ragged bursts, and she had to rest before resuming the struggle.
Finally, she got him to the doorway and she cradled him against her chest, fighting helpless tears. The logical thing to do would be to power up her phone and ring for help, but that would ruin their plan to expose the traitor and it might expose Raff to greater risk. There was no guarantee that those who responded would deliver benevolent assistance. Her enemies might strike while she was vulnerable, especially with Raff too weak to fight.
Putting him down gently, she let out a breath and made the decision. For good or ill, she would look after him and stick to the plan. Her mind made up, she opened her phone and took out the battery, as there was a faint chance that her location could be tracked that way. Now she had an unconscious wolf to deal with. As she hauled him into the cabin, they left red streaks on the ice, on the rough wood floor. His black fur made it difficult to tell exactly where the injuries were, and she didn’t have the tools to shave him.
I have to do this. Sorry, Raff.
Deliberately, she pressed down on his injured leg and he roused with a snarl, snapping at her with ferocious teeth. She barely pulled her hand back fast enough to avoid a vicious bite.
“It’s me, Thalia. We’re at the cabin. I need you to shift.” His eyes went fuzzy and vague and she shook him, gentler this time. “Don’t pass out. You’ve done so much, saved me so many times. This is the last thing, Raff. I can handle the rest.”
She hoped. As promises went, she didn’t feel 100% confident, but he didn’t need to know that.
A shudder ran through him and then his body blurred and elongated. It was the strangest thing; even as she looked at him, her mind couldn’t quite process how it happened, like a mental skip. One second he was a wolf, and in the next blink, he was a naked man, lolling in her arms.
Now, now she could see how bad it was. The graze on his shoulder had sealed to a scab and it seemed to be healing well, no signs of infection. Likewise, the bullet had gone straight through his bad leg. It was mostly sealed, just a sluggish trickle of blood from her meddling with it. The wound in his side troubled her because there was no exit hole in his back; that meant the bullet was still inside him. Raff’s body would heal around it, but leaving metal inside couldn’t be good, even with Animari recovery rates.
He clutched her hands with bloody fingers. “You have to take it out.”
It’s like he can read my mind.
Thalia’s first instinct was to argue; she wanted to say, ‘I’m not a surgeon, I’m not even a doctor’, but in fact, there was nobody else. They couldn’t risk exposing his weakness right now. Better to hunker down and let their enemies come out into the open, then once they regained their strength, strike from the shadows and finish this damned game of cat and mouse.
They’ll be surprised who has the fiercest claws.
Squaring her shoulders, she nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
She found a blanket folded in the rough-built cupboards and spread it on the floor. There was only one bed, one set of linens, and if she ruined them, they wouldn’t have anywhere to sleep once she finished Raff’s treatment. He rolled onto the coverlet, shivering from such minor exertion.
This is not good.
His breathing was labored, and there was a sickly tinge to his normally brown and glowing skin. Don’t think about what could go wrong. Just do what you must.
The pep talk carried her through various preparations, like boiling some water and sterilizing her knives, but her hands trembled when she brought the blade to his side, which had already sealed. I have to cut him. Oh, All-Mother, I can’t do this—
“I trust you, princess.”
Those rasped words gave her the confidence to open the wound, but she died a little when he bucked and screamed. Pain sweat beaded on his brow, and he fisted both hands in the rough blanket.
“Fuck me, that hurts.”
“I don’t have anything strong enough to put you out. Eldritch medicines don’t seem to be efficacious for the Animari.”
“Different metabolic rate,” he grunted. “Just…get it done. Fast is better than slow.”
“I know that, but I’m trying to avoid butchering you.”
She tried not to show how scared she was or how utterly unsettling it was to be feeling around beneath the skin, layers of muscle and connective tissue with such a terrifying lack of expertise. Deeper, oh, there. It took three tries, but she finally got the bullet out, lodged against his ribs. She tried not to fret about bone chips or all the ways he could die as she removed the slug.
“You done?” Raff whispered.
She wished he would pass out, so he’d be spared some of the pain, but he had been with her, ever since she woke him so cruelly. “Just clean up left, now.”
Though the cabin was cold, Thalia was covered in sweat as she washed her hands. One step at a time. Using her knife, she cut strips off the clean end of the blanket. The first she used to wipe the blood up as best she could. It looked as if Raff had been baptized in it, so it took several rinses to get him clean. Then she applied antibacterial spray and wrapped his side as best she could.
“There,” she said finally. “I wish we had pain meds or antibiotics. But this is all I can do for you.”
“It should be fine,” he mumbled.
“Right. You’re unkillable, I remember.”
Even in this circumstance, he managed a crooked smile, tugging at her heartstrings. “Many have tried, none have succeeded.”
“It only takes one success,” she snapped, then reined in her temper.
Why am I mad at him? She wasn’t, exactly, except that it didn’t seem as if he treasured his life. Not like he should, anyway.
“Don’t fret, Lady Silver. I just need food and sleep.”
“You need an actual doctor who knows what he’s doing and possibly a blood transfusion. Since you’ve been with me, you’ve been shot multiple times, poisoned, nearly crushed to death—”
“Don’t cry.” He raised unsteady hands to brush her cheek.
That was when Thalia realized she was crying. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m the ice queen, unbreakable, immovable.
“I’m just tired.” Her voice came out soft and small, utterly unlike her. “Let’s get you in bed.”
“That’s your game,” he teased. “Weaken me until I can’t flee from your fearsome appetites. Alas, I cannot escape, so I’ll submit.”
She swiped at her eyes. “Idiot. Try not to open any of your wounds.”
While he was still acting like a lighthearted fool, she’d seen far too much of his courage and determination to dismiss him any longer. Raff Pineda was a worthy partner by anyone’s standards.
Thalia used her full strength to lever him off the floor and onto the mattress. Raff inched upward until he was fully ensconced in bed—and it was clear that much effort had exhausted him. He closed his eyes and just let her tuck him in, as if he was a child. Thalia doubted many people had seen the wolf lord this way. His trust felt like the greatest honor she’d ever received. She bent and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Sleep now,” she whispered. “I’ll stand watch and keep you from harm.”
It was night when Raff woke. He wasn’t sure what day it was, and he felt weak as hell. Thalia was beside him, asleep sitting up with one hand on his head. She had never looked exactly robust, and now she seemed dangerously fragile, thinner than before, deep purple shadows beneath her eyes. He managed to struggle upright, though his entire body ached. The last time he felt this shitty, his father had beaten him half to death, right after his older brother died.
His movement roused her, and she snapped to consciousness like a soldier who’d fallen asleep on sentry duty, a complex commingling of guilt and remorse.
“Raff? You’re awake?” The desperate joy and gratitude shone from her, reinforced when she carried his hands to her mouth and kissed his knuckles one by one.
“You’re starting to alarm me, Lady Silver.”
“It’s been four days,” she whispered, touching his hair, his cheek, his beard. Soft, pleasant tingles followed wherever her hands roved. He’d never felt like precious treasure before, but her fingers brushing lightly over his hair nearly made him groan aloud.
“Has it?” he asked, quietly shaken.
Swallowing audibly, she nodded. “The wound in your side was infected. I had to open it up twice and drain the site.” From the way her face looked, he could well imagine she’d gone through hell for him and come back again.
“Thank you.”
“For what? My poor care nearly killed you.” Tears trembled in her thick lashes, spilled down pale cheeks.
He reached for her with arms that wobbled. Still not recovered, but I’m on the uptick. Raff was clearheaded at least. Of the last few days, he had only jumbled impressions, mostly Thalia’s face and her soft hands interspersed with what must’ve been nightmares.
She curled into his arms, not a queen, just a tired woman pushed beyond her limits. The way she trembled against him roused every ferociously protective instinct. Somewhere, there were assholes who wanted to slaughter this bright, lovely creature. Then and there, Raff decided they all had to die, no mercy, no exceptions.
“That’s a negative outlook. I mean, I’m still alive.” He touched his own cheek. “Don’t think I’ve got a fever and I’m still breathing, so that means you saved me.”
“You’re impossible. Are you hungry? I haven’t been able to get much food in you.”
His stomach rumbled as if she’d activated it. “Apparently I’m starved.”
“Then let’s start slow. I made porridge out of the protein bars and dried fruit, but you wouldn’t eat any this morning. You kept calling for someone named Catrin.”
Raff considered messing with her, despite the heat that rose in his cheeks. He could probably make her think that was an old lover, but that seemed unjust, considering how hard she’d worked to keep his body and soul together.
“That’s the woman who raised me,” he explained. “Catrin is my mother’s cousin, and she looked after me from the beginning. She’s the only one who ever nursed me. Well, until you, that is.”
“Ah. Is she…” Thalia appeared to reconsider the question, moving away from him to check the pot warming near the fireplace.
“It’s all right. There’s no sad story. Catrin’s alive and well, back in Pine Ridge. You’ll meet her, provided we survive our tenure in your territory.”
“I’d like that. I’ll ask her for all the embarrassing stories from your childhood.” She spooned brown mush into a tin bowl, then carried it to him.
That…did not smell appetizing, but judging by his physical weakness, he didn’t have the fortitude to shift and hunt for something delicious. Raff forced himself to eat every bite, though it tasted even worse than it smelled. Cooking clearly wasn’t her strong point.
“I know it’s bad,” she said defensively. “But you try making a wonderful meal out of basic protein bars and dehydrated fruit.”
Masking a grimace, he swallowed several more bites, then replied, “I’m not complaining. You have some too, though.”
She shook her head. “I’ve been eating the nuts. I tried putting them in the porridge, but they wouldn’t boil down and they made you choke.”
“You should have chewed them and fed them to me like a baby bird.” Raff couldn’t keep a straight face when he registered her horrified expression.
“You’re awful,” she said, apparently realizing that he was messing with her.
“That’s the rumor. Will I have any new scars from this adventure?”
Really, he just wanted her close again. She’d kept the fire burning, and the room was warm enough to be bearable, but it wasn’t the same as feeling her tender heat next to him. Thalia rose to the bait, setting aside the empty bowl and returning to his side to check his injuries.
“I can barely see the mark on your shoulder now…raise your leg?” She bent close, peering at his calf. “This one is almost healed as well. Turn onto your other side, please.”
So sweet and prim, that tone, like she hadn’t been in charge of his naked body for days. Raff complied, rolling away, so she could check his ribs. That spot did still hurt a bit, so he could well believe she’d been forced to dig at it repeatedly. The work must’ve been so fucking repugnant that he wished he could wipe the memory from her head, so she wouldn’t associate him with oozing pus and necrotic tissue.
Talk about ruining the mood.
“I can’t tell yet. You might have a faint scar here. It’s still purple.”
“Scars make me special,” he said. “You know how hard it is for an Animari to get battle marks? I already have two, so let’s go for the trifecta.”
“I’m not cutting you again. And I’m not trying to alarm you, but we’re just about out of food. I don’t eat much, but I think you need more…?”
“Finish whatever we have. I’ll go hunting tomorrow and stock up on protein.”
Her face paled, green beneath the alabaster. “Sorry, can I…”
“I don’t expect you to participate. You’re pescatarian, I get that.”
“All right. Once you’ve eaten well, we’ll head for Daruvar?”
“I think the porridge and a good night’s sleep will set me up well enough to shift, and then, if I do well hunting, I should be strong enough to fight an army.”
“Your self-assessment is absurd,” she snapped. “Right now, you can’t even put your pants on without help.”
“I’m taking it as a compliment that you can’t stop thinking about my pants—or lack thereof—even when I’m sick.” He grinned up at her, delighted by her narrow-eyed agitation.
It’s so easy to get her riled up. And so fucking fun, too. Even more so because she had a reputation for being unflappable.
“I’m starting to regret all those sleepless nights, mopping up your fever sweat and listening to your delirious ramblings.”
Uh oh. I shouldn’t ask. That curiosity gives her too much power.
Fuck it, it was impossible to resist the question. “What did I say, exactly?”
Her smug smile drove him crazy. “I guess you would wonder. Too bad I’m not telling, but your comments were certainly…enlightening.”
Raff might have pursued the issue, but just then, the door slammed open, a gust of bitter wind blowing through the cabin. A huge male stood shadowed in the doorway, half a head taller than Raff, cat by the smell of him. He recognized the scent from when they’d first arrived; this was the cabin’s last resident, returned at the worst possible time.
I’m not strong enough to fight, and she’s tired. Don’t know if her bracers have any charge left, and I don’t give her good odds in hand to hand.
Those calculations took only a few seconds as Raff straightened slowly. Have to make sure this doesn’t turn hostile. Beside him, Thalia was frozen, eyes wide. She seemed to be gauging the distance between her and their discarded weapons.
No sudden moves, princess. Be smart.
“Well,” said the stranger. “I guess I’d like to know who the hell you two are and what the fuck you’re doing in my bed.”