Sixteen

Morgan

The entire company had Black Friday off of work. Even me.

I just wished that leaving with Patrick that afternoon to go to San Francisco to see Steph didn’t make me feel so guilty. I knew work-life balance was essential, but I couldn’t help it. I only took time off was for family activities. I didn’t really take me time.

As a woman, I always felt like I had to work twice as hard and twice as long to get the respect I deserved. Stepping out of the office made me nervous, and I thought Patrick could tell. He kept cracking jokes to try to make me more comfortable.

I didn’t really breathe until we landed in San Francisco. And then I let it all go. I’d committed. I was here. I just needed to enjoy myself.

“Better?” Patrick asked as he shouldered both of our bags.

“Much.”

“Good.”

“Sorry that I was in anxiety-attack mode.”

“I’d kind of expected it actually. I know how you react when I take you away from work early. This is like that but on steroids. But you need a break. You work too much.”

“So you keep telling me,” I said with a smile.

He dropped a kiss on my lips and then exited the plane. We picked up our luggage and then grabbed a taxi. Steph insisted that we could stay with her and Thomas in their apartment for the night before we headed up to Napa on Saturday morning.

“I can’t believe we’re going to Napa,” I confided. “I’ve always wanted to go. Though I feel guilty about leaving Steph.”

He slipped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. “I can only handle so much wedding talk. We can hang out with my sister, but it’s still our vacation, right?”

“True. You’re right.”

The cab dropped us off at Steph’s apartment. When we got there, Steph was stuck on her computer, shopping online sales for Christmas presents. Thomas was binge-watching the latest season of Supernatural.

It was nice, being with Steph and Thomas. Besides the fact that they were deliriously happy and recently engaged, it was a relief to have someone know. Just finally fucking know. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold out at home like this. No matter how hot our incident was in the bathroom on Thanksgiving, I didn’t want to hide forever.

And Emery wasn’t enough. She hadn’t seemed to care and promised not to say anything to anyone when I brought it up at the end of the night. I hated that I’d had to do that to begin with. But I dreaded dealing with my brothers more. Their reaction to my imaginary Joe had been bad enough. They’d bugged me all night about it. I couldn’t even begin to guess how they’d take it when they found out Joe was actually Patrick. But, at the same time, I wanted everyone to know that we were finally together.

I cornered Steph later that night in the kitchen while the guys were busy playing video games. “Can we talk?”

“Of course! What’s up? How does it feel to have all your dreams come true?”

“Well…you know what they say about things that are too good to be true.”

“Yeah. They usually are. But that doesn’t have to be the case here.”

“Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

Steph laughed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I think we’re beyond this. You can ask me anything. You know you’re one of my closest friends!”

I heard the sincerity in her voice, and for the first time in a long time, I let the tension release.

“I do,” I finally said. “I’m not so great at this sort of thing.”

“Eh, that’s fine. I like you as quirky, bossy, and ridiculous as you are. I find it endearing.”

“Hey, I’m not bossy!”

Steph rolled her eyes. “Bossy girls are strong. Bossy girls take over the world. Bossy is a compliment. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

“You have such a way with words, Steph,” I said with a smile.

“Thanks! It’s like I write lyrics or something.”

I laughed. “Or something.”

“Now, spit out your question, and stop stalling.”

“Patrick told me that you’d slept with Austin.”

Steph became suddenly interested in a fake piece of lint on her sweater. “That’s not a question.”

“Well, I never knew about it.”

“Yeah,” Steph said with big eyes. “Sorry. I was kind of ashamed at the time. I own my sexuality now and don’t regret what happened. But, well…I was eighteen and stupid.”

“Yeah. I can see why you didn’t tell me. Especially because Patrick said he flipped out. When it happened, how bad was it between Patrick and Austin?”

Steph blew out a long breath. “Bad. It was right after their senior year of college, so Austin went on that internship in LA. I think that might have been why you didn’t notice when the worst of it happened. And then Patrick didn’t start with Wright right out of college because of it.”

“Really?” I gasped. “I knew he took a year and worked for a competitor, but I didn’t realize it was because of you and Austin. I feel like my world is upside down.”

“Well, the whole thing was stupid.” Steph rolled her eyes. “Are you asking because you haven’t told Austin?”

“We haven’t told anyone. Just you, Thomas, and accidentally Emery. I feel like we’re past the point of hiding. I don’t want to be his dirty little secret. I want to be his girlfriend.”

Steph bit her lip. “You do know that Patrick doesn’t really do labels on relationships.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware.”

“He seems different with you.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m your friend.”

Steph shook her head. “No, really. It’s like, when you’re in the room, he’s attuned to your presence. The world revolves around you, and he shifts to fit back into axis.”

“Song lyrics, Steph,” I said to deflect from what she’d just said.

Did Patrick really orient himself around me? Was he that different with me? Obviously, we weren’t having sex yet. As much as it irritated me, I knew it was a good sign for him. For someone who rushed into everything, he cared about me and respected me enough to see where this was really going. But it was hard to believe that my life fit into the lyrics of one of Steph’s songs. That Patrick really was that into me.

And yet, when I glanced off at him in the living room, it was like he could feel me looking at him. He turned around, caught my eye, and winked before going back to his game.

Steph’s face said, I told you so.

I didn’t contradict her.

We had a lazy Saturday morning in the city with Steph and Thomas, enjoying brunch at one of their favorite restaurants and a quick tour of the city. Then, Patrick borrowed Thomas’s car and drove us out of town. The Napa countryside was stunning as we meandered through the hillside and out to a vineyard.

After we valeted the car, Patrick pulled me close and placed a soft kiss on my lips. It was nice to be here together like this. Neither of us was worried about my pesky brothers interfering. No work to take over my time. It was glorious. In fact, it was probably the best weekend I’d had in a long time.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Patrick asked.

“I’m glad that we did this.”

“So am I. Truthfully, I thought it would be harder to convince you to leave.”

“Someone told me I needed to lighten up and live a little. I’m not even thirty,” I said with a grin.

“Whoever said that must be really smart.”

I snorted. “You enjoy complimenting yourself?”

“All the time.”

“Of course you do.”

“I’m a confident guy,” he said with an easy shrug. “Come on. Let’s go find the wine tasting.”

“I’m going to get so drunk.”

“No, you won’t. I’ll make sure you drink water and eat plenty of food. I bet there’s pasta. There’s always pasta.”

“Or pizza.”

“Mmm, pizza.” He reached down and entwined our fingers together. “You’re a woman after my own heart.”

Staring up into his face and knowing that smile and that adoration was all for me made me fall all over again. I’d thought that what I’d felt for Patrick all those years was more than a crush. But it had been nothing compared to this. Not when I knew that this was real.

I followed Patrick down through the vineyard and to the indoor tasting bar. The room was crowded with people trying to escape the winter chill, but we found a spot at the bar and listened to the man as he poured sips. He was knowledgeable and charming. By the end of our session, we were going home with an entire box of red wine.

Both of us were giddy and a little tipsy from all the different pours. He had his arm around my shoulders as we walked back through the crisp weather and into the main arm of the vineyard. The place was massive with a hotel, spa, and fine dining attached. We found a pizza place and indulged.

I was in date heaven as evening approached. I hated that we’d have to go back to the city. I was a hundred percent not ready for that.

“Do you think we should head out soon?” I asked.

“Nope. I have something else planned.”

I narrowed my eyes. “When did you have time to plan anything?”

“Last night while you were pretending not to work but were working.”

“I…” I trailed off.

“Yes?” he asked coyly.

“I might have been working.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“I was just checking emails.”

“I don’t care that you were working,” he said, kissing my nose. “That’s what you do. And I planned this while you were doing your thing. Come on.”

Patrick walked us to the elevator and up to the top floor of the hotel. He slid the key card into the door. It opened up to a stunning suite overlooking the setting sun on the vineyard.

“Wow,” I whispered, walking through the luxurious room and out to the balcony. “The view is breathtaking.”

“Yes, you are,” he said.

I turned back to face him with the hint of a blush on my cheeks. How long had I dreamed he’d see me that way? It was hard to imagine that my dreams were really becoming reality. That we were really standing here, in a swanky hotel room in Napa, as a couple.

“You seem surprised.”

“Not surprised. Shocked. How long have we known each other, Patrick? I never thought you saw me that way.”

“I didn’t. Or I guess I chose not to,” he corrected. He stepped up to where I was standing and drew me closer. “I think a part of me always recognized how amazing you were. It was just easier not to look too far into it. Easier not to rock the boat, you know?”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “I kind of have a confession.”

“What’s that?”

“You said you never saw me that way. I was always just your best friend’s little sister. But, to me, you were so much more than my brother’s best friend.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I’ve always liked you, Patrick,” I whispered, releasing the secret I’d been holding in for so long. “Always.”

“Like…how long is always?”

“You remember that time you and Austin came back to the house your freshman year of college?”

“We came back a bunch.”

“The first time. It was homecoming at the high school. I had made the varsity cheerleading team my freshman year of high school. You and Austin showed up at the house, all big and bad college boys. And I stood there, in the hallway, in a skimpy cheerleading outfit. You turned around when I walked in the room. I think maybe you were going to say hi, but instead, you just stared at me.”

Patrick nodded. “I, uh, yeah. I remember that now.”

“Something changed about you. I’ve been a goner ever since.”

“Just from that one look?”

“Well, that look started it, but it was everything about you. How easygoing you were and how well you fit into our family and the way you made me laugh.”

“That was the day I decided I could never pursue you, you know?”

“What?” I gasped.

“Yeah. The thoughts I was having about a fifteen-year-old high school student when I was eighteen and in college were…obscene. I knew Austin would kill me. So, I just…stopped seeing you. I forced myself not to even consider it. Then, after what happened with Steph…well, you know.”

All this time, Patrick and I had had our moment. Our one perfect moment. It had taken us a dozen years for it to happen again.