Thirty-One

Morgan

“How did you coax me into doing this again?” I asked Steph as we walked into a bridal shop downtown.

“I told you that, if you didn’t come shopping with me, I would pick out the most hideous dress imaginable and make you wear it.”

“Oh, right. What makes you think I’d wear it?”

Steph chuckled. “Because you don’t back out of anything.”

“Unfortunately, true,” I grumbled. “How are you here right now anyway? Don’t you have to be at work?”

“Actually,” she said with a sly grin, “I haven’t announced it yet, but I’m going on tour after the wedding.”

“Oh my God! Steph! That’s incredible. How did that happen?”

“Thanks. It kind of came out of nowhere. One of those insane stories that you don’t believe actually happened. I was singing something in the freaking grocery store, and a guy approached me. I thought he was a skeez, but he turned out to be the real deal. I’m going to play as the opener for his band.”

“Wow! I cannot even believe that happened. I’m so happy for you. Your life is so awesome.”

“I know! It so is. I’m ready to quit waitressing and playing local gigs. I’m not getting my hopes up, but I’d rather be living my dream than sitting at home, wondering what could have been.”

“What does Thomas think?” I asked as I shifted through a million shades and styles of bridesmaid dresses.

“He’s so happy. Also…worried. And I don’t blame him. He’s a planner and headstrong and all that. And he’ll miss me.”

“Of course he will.”

“But he’s supportive. He believes in me. You know, when you find someone like that, it’s important to hold on to them.” Steph gave me a knowing look.

“Why do I feel like the conversation has switched to me?” I muttered.

“Probably because you broke up with my brother.”

“Right.” I became suddenly very interested in the burgundy taffeta dress in my hand. “What about this one?”

Steph rolled her eyes. “As if you’re getting away from this conversation that easily.”

“It was worth a try.”

“I don’t understand how this happened. You’ve liked Patrick forever, Mor. Like, literally forever. And ever.”

“I get it. I know.”

“I thought your obsession was kind of ridiculous and pretty gross, but I let you have your little thing.”

I laughed. “You would think that. Though I don’t know how you can talk after sleeping with Austin.”

Steph shot me a sheepish look. “Uh, yeah…about that.”

“Whatever,” I said, waving my hand. “Ancient history.”

“You’re changing the subject again!”

“I’m adept at that.”

Steph poked me in the side. “Well, cut it out. I don’t want to deal with CEO Morgan right now. I’d like to talk to my friend about my brother for a minute.”

I shelved the dress I’d been looking at and turned back to face Steph. “There’s only one of me, you know. I can’t switch it on and off like a lightbulb.”

“Sure, you can.”

“And, anyway, separating Patrick from work right now is pretty difficult.”

“I heard.”

“I had one ambush this week. I really wasn’t looking forward to a second.”

Steph dramatically rolled her eyes. “As if this is an ambush. You knew I was going to ask you about Patrick when we hung out. Calm your tits, woman.”

I laughed a real full-bellied laugh. It had been a while since that happened. “God, I missed you. Can you move back into town? I feel like less of a loner when you’re here.”

“Going on tour, remember?”

“Right. Coming through Lubbock?”

She snorted. “Yeah, right. We’ll be in Dallas. You can fly the private jet out to see me.”

“Done.”

“Now, talk to me,” Steph said. She turned back to the dresses and started throwing ones she’d picked out into my arms. “You have one hiccup with work, and suddenly, you’re giving up on your relationship? That doesn’t sound like you.”

“It’s more than a hiccup. I might be fired.”

“Okay, well, worst-case scenario, you get fired. What do you do then?”

I shuddered. “I am not even considering that.”

She passed me a pink monstrosity. “Consider it. Say, by Friday, you’re no longer CEO of Wright Construction. You’re still sitting on a trust fund most people would kill for, and you have marketable skills that you could get a job anywhere you wanted. Would it suck? Sure. You’d earned this position, and it was short-lived. Now, imagine that life alone. You have your family, but wouldn’t you rather have someone there who loved you?”

I saw the picture Steph was painting, and it wasn’t a pretty one. I didn’t want to end up alone. But I wasn’t even thirty yet. I could find someone else. But this was Patrick. I’d liked him longer than I could remember and wanted this so bad for so long.

Logically, I knew that I shouldn’t let my work interfere with that. But the situation I was in was not logical. It was fucking stupid. An error I should be able to fix. An error that never should have even occurred.

“I see the wheels are working in there,” Steph said. She nodded her head to the side, and we moved into the giant dressing rooms. “What are you thinking?”

“Maybe I should get a cat.”

Steph laughed. “You are not becoming a crazy cat lady!”

I stuffed all the dresses into the first available dressing room and tried on the ugly pink dress first. When I stepped out, Steph covered her mouth, and her eyes widened.

“Wow,” she said.

“If you make me wear this, I’ll be heading straight to crazy cat lady. Definite spinster.”

“You’re twenty-seven!” she cried as I went to change. “You can’t be a spinster yet.”

“Actually, I think, historically, that would have made me a spinster for sure. I never would have found a man to impregnate me and force me to make him sandwiches and shit.”

“You’re so ridiculous!”

“Me?” I gasped, stepping out in another dress. “Look who’s talking!”

“You want to be with Patrick. Why do you have to suffer for this?”

“Of course I want to be with Patrick. I also want twenty-five-hour days and a million dollars, but you don’t get everything you want,” I said, going back into the dressing room.

“Wait, but don’t you already have a million dollars?”

I groaned as I tried to pull on some slinky gold sequined dress. “It’s an expression!”

“It’s a bad one.”

“You’re a bad one,” I grumbled under my breath.

“Good one.”

I stepped out of the dressing room, and Steph gasped.

“What? What now?”

She pointed at me and smiled from ear to ear. “That’s the one.”

“The what?”

“The dress, silly!”

I twirled in place and looked at the dress in the trifold mirror. Steph was right, of course. This was definitely the dress.

“Will the other bridesmaids look okay in it, too?” I asked.

“I, uh…didn’t ask anyone else,” she admitted.

“What do you mean? I thought there was going to be a dozen people in your wedding! Patrick said it was going to be a huge affair.”

“It was. It totally was. But then we moved the date up to New Year’s Eve, which didn’t give us a ton of time to plan. I thought it would be easier for us both to have one person. More manageable.”

My mouth fell open, and then I moved forward and pulled Steph into a hug. “Thank you so much. I’m honored, Steph.”

“You know I love you. Even when you’re being stupid.”

“Well, thanks.”

“And you are being stupid.”

“What do you want me to do, Steph? I’m so fucking stressed about work. I have two days to fix this issue with the contract. I might lose my job. I probably shouldn’t even be out with you right now. I can’t handle a relationship. I can barely handle friendships. I feel like I know myself well enough to know that this isn’t a good idea for me. I want to be with Patrick, but Patrick deserves someone who is…I don’t know…sane?”

“Psh. Excuses. Patrick has never wanted a relationship before with anyone. This isn’t an option of whether or not he should be with someone less crazy than you. Because crazy is totally Patrick’s type. You’re just a new brand of crazy. More sensible workaholic and less butcher-knife-wielding psychopath.”

“Doesn’t change how I feel.”

“Oh, yeah? How would you feel if Patrick actually dated someone else? If he got serious and found a great girl and got married?” she shot back at me. “Could you stand at his wedding while he married someone else and tell yourself it was all better because you still had your job and worked a hundred hours a week? Could you wish him well and mean it?”

“No,” I whispered, horrified at that thought.

“No,” Steph agreed. “You couldn’t. Right now, you live to work instead of the other way around. Who cares how much you work if you can’t enjoy yourself when you’re not working? How can you even be creative and productive without the downtime? You’re happier and healthier with him.”

The wheels in my head started turning. I’d never really thought about it like that. Of course, Steph would. She was a creative type. A musician who played three instruments, had strong soprano vocals, and wrote her own music. Business felt like a twenty-four/seven commitment. I never stopped to ask myself why I felt that way…and what I had been sacrificing for it.

I changed out of the dress we’d picked out and back into my work outfit.

“I’m just saying that you need to find a loophole or something,” Steph said. “A way out of this box you’ve constructed around yourself. There has to be a third option. You can’t live like this.”

As I was sliding on my jacket, I froze in the dressing room. “What did you say?”

“You can’t live like this, Morgan. You and Patrick are opposites, but somehow, you work together.”

“No, no, not that,” I said, grabbing my purse and darting out of the dressing room. “Before that.”

“I don’t know. You’ve boxed yourself in, and you need to find a loophole.”

“Oh my God,” I gasped.

“What?”

“I think I know what I need to do.”

“About Patrick?” she asked in confusion.

“No. I have to go. Oh my God, I have work to do.”

“Morgan!”

“Steph, I love you. Thank you so much for making me see more clearly. Maybe you’re right, and I needed the time off to think about it. I can’t wait to see you get married, but I have to go.”

“What about the dress?”

“I’ll pay you back!” I called as I ran for the exit.

“You owe me!”

“A million bucks!” I yelled back.

“That’d better not be an expression!”