Evelyn
There is a type of exhaustion that is much worse than the physical type. Of course, I was tired. I was pregnant and hormonal. Some days, all I wanted to do was sleep. So yes, physically I was tired. But mentally and emotionally, I was completely drained. I had no energy left. No fight left in me…or so I thought.
I was tired, but part of me was ready for war. That part of me was anxious for a fight, against everything and everyone. I wasn’t a fighter; I didn’t like arguing or problems, but the understanding person I once was started disappearing. In fact, it felt that she was so far gone that I didn’t remember what it was like to be her anymore.
I couldn’t do it anymore.
There would be no more lies tolerated, no more putting up with any shit no matter where it came from. There’s only so much a person can handle no matter how good they are. I had finally reached my limit.
My heart pounded against my chest with such force I was sure that Nathan could hear it. I had to keep it together, had to remain strong. Lately it seemed like it was all I did: pretend to be okay. Try to keep the pieces that remained from falling apart, from losing them. It wasn’t working anymore. It felt like the shreds of my sanity were also slipping away. My brain never got a break. I slept, and it was no longer peaceful. I was paranoid, on edge…and so, so tired.
Hands gripping the dresser, I asked the question one more time. “So what happened, Nathan?” His hesitation only made me fear the worst, but I refused to show it. “You can be specific. You don’t have to keep it PG-13. I can handle it.”
He scoffed, shaking his head as he took a seat on the bed. He was stressed, running his hands over his face, his gaze staying fixed on the ceiling.
We could hear nothing else but our breathing. I was waiting…patiently waiting for the bomb to drop or for me to explode. I wasn’t sure which would happen first.
“She was naked,” Nathan said, his eyes finally meeting mine.
I raised an eyebrow.
Keep calm.
Lava made its way through my veins. There was no other way to describe it. It hurt. It burned.
And refusing to show any of the pain I felt, I reacted with the only defense mechanism I knew. “You must’ve enjoyed it. She is very pretty.”
Nathan’s jaw clenched. I didn’t back down.
“What else?” I asked. There had to be more. If I knew anything about Jessica, it was that she wouldn’t have left an opportunity like that go.
“Evie—”
“Don’t.” I stopped him before he could say something to try to calm me down. I was calm, disturbingly so. It was like the calm before the storm, and this storm no one was prepared for. “Tell me what happened, because I will find out anyways.”
Nathan nodded, letting out an audible sigh. “That’s it, Evie. She was just…there.”
Every muscle in my body tensed. And yet, as if I was an expert at keeping my emotions in check, I remained level headed. I wanted to know so he was telling me. There was no enjoyment in his face, not as if he’d liked what he’d seen.
But there was guilt.
“How long?” I kept my voice steady as I spoke.
Nathan’s brows pulled together in confusion. “What?”
“How long did it take you to leave? How long did you stay while she was naked in front of you?”
Stunned, Nathan blinked, confused as to why I would ask something like that. I didn’t even know why I was asking that.
“I-I was shocked. She just—I didn’t fucking expect for her to do that.”
“That doesn’t answer the question,” I replied calmly.
Nathan scoffed. “A few seconds, maybe.”
I nodded. It took everything in me to remember it wasn’t his fault; he hadn’t asked her to do this. Somewhere between rationality and sadness was anger, though, and anger was much safer than any of those two options. I couldn’t let my guard down.
Eventually, I would let myself feel everything, but in those few seconds, all I wanted to do was to be numb. Perhaps it was the pregnancy, or maybe it was my nature, but everything felt a hundred times worse.
Nathan didn’t cheat. I knew that, and mentally I understood he had been too shocked to react any quicker.
“Well,” I sighed, tucking my hair behind my ear, “I think it’s time for bed.”
“What?”
“It’s time for bed.” I shrugged, already walking towards the restroom to brush my teeth. “I’m tired, and I want to rest. All this craziness is tiring.”
“I don’t understand. Aren’t you pissed?”
I glared at him. “Oh, I’m fucking fuming,” I snarled, feeling how my heart beat a little bit faster as the words left my mouth. “But showing it won’t do shit because you’ve already seen her naked, and there is absolutely nothing I can do.”
***
The next morning, I awoke only to find Nathan already up, his face in his hands. My heart felt a little bit heavy at the sight, but I’d awakened with only one goal in mind. I sat up, getting his attention as I moved.
“You’re up,” he murmured.
“So are you,” I stated, matter of fact.
“Do you want to go out for breakfast?”
Before he even finished voicing his question, I shook my head. There was only one thing I had in mind, and to do it, I had to be alone.
“Evie—”
“No, I need to be alone today,” I said, forcing a smile.
He nodded, pressing his lips together. Without a further word, I brushed my teeth, went on to take a shower, and changed into the only shorts that fit me comfortably and a loose-fitting shirt. I put my hair up in a ponytail and left my face make-up free, not wanting to waste any more time.
Nathan fixed his eyes on me as if trying to figure out what the hell I was planning. I had to keep calm, because if he knew what I wanted to do, he would never let me leave.
“I’ll be back later.” I smiled, leaning against the doorway. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, trying to soothe the tension there, and agreed, asking me to be careful before I walked out the door.
Nathan and I hid nothing from each other, and it was very convenient. I knew the password to his phone, had the information I needed to get Jessica’s address. He wouldn’t agree with what I did, but I found it impossible to care.
Jessica crossed a line, and I wanted her out of our lives forever. I didn’t feel threatened by her, but she had so little respect for our relationship, and she didn’t care at all how it would hurt the man who she considered her friend.
I half expected to feel nervous as the cab pulled up to the house, but as I stepped out, it was anger that propelled me forward. There was no doubt in mind this was what I had to do.
My hand knocked on the door, not an ounce of hesitation in my actions. It took a few seconds before the door opened, and Jessica’s messed-up hair and bare face greeted me. Her blue eyes widened in surprise as she saw me, and I walked past her, not bothering with a greeting.
“What are you doing here?”
I scoffed, unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I spared her a single glance. She truly looked like shit.
“Oh, Jessica. You stand naked in front of my fiancé and you didn’t think I’d pay you a little visit? Surely, you’re smarter than that.”
Her face reddened. “Evelyn, I’m really sorry—”
I raised my hand, stopping her. “Save the bullshit. You are fucking lucky I am pregnant or else you’d be dead right this moment.” Jessica gasped, my words stunning her. “I could still do it.” I raised an eyebrow. “Blame it on the hormones, on the craziness going on in my life. It could be temporary insanity. Everyone would believe it, don’t you think?”
Her face paled. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Why should I be? You weren’t kidding when you decided to disrespect my relationship, so why the fuck should I care? You think Nathan and I aren’t going through enough shit as is?”
“I wasn’t thinking. I was drunk and—”
“Were you drunk when you took that robe to the gallery in the morning? Because I highly doubt it.”
Ashamed, she looked away. Far too lost in my rage, I carried on, getting everything I wanted to say off my chest. “He does not want you, Jessica. Getting naked in front of him was not going to work, so I have no clue what the hell you were thinking.”
“I wasn’t,” she sniffled, shaking her head. “I’ve been going through so much shit, and Nathan has been the person I can rely on. I just…I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
The one thing I had learned was that apologies were pointless when they came from people like Jessica. They were never sincere.
“I don’t give a damn if you’re sorry,” I finally said, breaking the brief silence that had surrounded us. “All I’m here to do is to tell you that you need to stay out of our lives from now on. I don’t want you near me or near Nathan any longer.”
Jessica had the nerve to look offended. “I can’t. I work with him. I own part of the gallery—”
“Not anymore,” I interrupted, taking out the check I’d written for more than her part of the gallery was worth. “You will accept this amount for the gallery. I will buy it and hand it over to Nathan.”
“You can’t do that,” she hissed. “This isn’t fair—”
“You lost your chance, Jessica. I bet you weren’t even interested in art until you met Nathan.” She blushed, her ears turning red at how easy it was to read her. “You will accept this because Nathan deserves better than to have to give up his dream for your selfishness. If you’ve ever cared about him at all, you won’t hesitate to take this and hand over whatever paperwork you have for the gallery.”
Her eyes narrowed on me. “Or what?”
“My family did their fair share of illegal things,” I muttered. “I may have learned a thing or two from them.”
After a few seconds of Jessica thinking she could stare me down, she sighed. I left feeling the pain in my chest lessened, happy that at least Nathan would be able to keep the gallery.
I hoped it was the last battle we’d have to face…
But one can only hope for so much, right?