Bryan
“You can do this. All you have to do is get out of the car and walk in. Easy.” The pep talk made me feel a little better—but it didn’t help my hands loosen from around the wheel. I’d left school in plenty of time, but I was going to be late if I didn’t get my ass in gear.
Taking a deep breath, I managed to pry my hands off the steering wheel and put them in my lap. I wasn’t out, but it was a good first step. I’d had a few jobs before, but the first day had never been this stressful. Maybe it was because my previous employers never knew the real me.
Dr. Sheppard did.
Mad offered to come with me, and even wait in the parking lot if it would make me feel better, but it was something I had to do on my own. I thought it would be easier if I didn’t know about Dr. Sheppard. I’d never met someone in person who was into the same things as I was.
That should have made it easier.
It didn’t.
I felt more exposed. I’d had enough time to go over the reason he hadn’t told me, and I thought that was why he’d tried to keep it under wraps. Other people who found out might try to understand, but there was a distance they couldn’t cross. As much as they’d try, they’d never really get it. Dr. Sheppard did.
He didn’t have to pretend to get it. He didn’t have the innate barrier that prevented people from understanding why you liked something different. He knew. It was…intimate. Weird. Dr. Sheppard understood why I liked the diapers. He knew why I was relaxed by the bottle. He knew how Maddox was more than just my boyfriend and how our relationship went deeper than that.
Forcing myself to unbuckle the seat belt, I opened the door and stepped out of the car. I wanted this job. I wasn’t going to let fear chase me away from it. It wasn’t like Dr. Sheppard was going to sit there and judge me. He didn’t think it was weird. If there was anyone I should be comfortable opening up with, it was him.
Even Jeremy and Kevin were comfortable opening up with him. They liked the guy enough to share loads of personal things with him. Realizing how hard it must have been for them helped settle my stomach a little.
If they could do it, then the least I could do was man up and go in there.
Walking up to the building, it felt easier than it had last time. Would I ever get comfortable going in? Would there be a point when I didn’t think about it? I wasn’t sure, but I was hopeful. Mad kept reminding me I was a lot more confident and comfortable talking about what I needed in a relationship than I had been at the beginning of last summer.
I just needed to remind myself of that.
The old me wouldn’t have been able to even think about applying for the position, much less sharing enough details about who I was to actually get it. I would’ve run in the opposite direction so no one could have guessed there was anything different about me.
Maybe Mad wasn’t wrong.
I didn’t always feel stronger, but I was. I’d applied for the position. I’d filled out the paperwork. I’d gone in expecting to have to share a lot. Sure, Kevin and Jeremy had spilled the beans first, but I hadn’t known they’d done that.
I was starting to feel more confident by the time I reached the receptionist’s desk. “Hello. Dr. Sheppard said to come in today.”
“Hi. I hear you’re going to be working here with us. That’s wonderful.” Her smile was open, and she seemed happy to see me. She either didn’t know what we’d talked about last week or it honestly didn’t matter to her. I wanted to know which it was, but I also didn’t.
I was saved from overthinking it by Dr. Sheppard’s office door opening. Two gentlemen walked out; the older guy was taller and had his arm wrapped around the younger man’s waist. The younger guy blushed a little and the older man gave me a nod that felt formal. Like I should be standing straighter or behaving better.
“Come along. I want us to keep on schedule.” The taller man looked down at his watch, frowning.
“We’re not late.” The younger guy was trying not to grin. “We have this discussion every time.”
The…Dom maybe…gave the younger guy a look that seemed to be silently telling him to behave because the…sub…grinned and blushed deeper before giving me a quick glance. “Yes, Daddy.”
The boy looked over at me again but must have seen something that made him relax because some of the red faded and he looked less jumpy. His Daddy gave him an indulgent smile and took his hand, leading him out the door. “Let’s get home. We have several items to discuss.”
My brain was still whirling around when Dr. Sheppard came out of his office a few moments later. “Bryan, on time, I see. Perfect.”
“Um, yes, sir.”
“Come on in.”
My feet started walking through the door, but my mind was focused on the couple. Daddy. He’d called the other guy Daddy. I wasn’t sure why I was so stunned. I’d known that Dr. Sheppard’s clients were in alternative relationships.
Maybe it just hadn’t hit me until that point. I’d pictured other types of lifestyles when I’d been thinking about it. Different forms of BDSM and power exchange relationships, but I guess I’d been assuming they wouldn’t be like me and Maddox. It felt ridiculous now, but at the time it’d seemed like there couldn’t be that many people who were into it as well.
“You seem to have quite a lot on your mind.” Dr. Sheppard went over to one of the chairs the guys had sat in last time so I went over to the couch.
“Yeah, I mean, yes. I’m excited to start and I want to be here, please believe me. But it’s…it’s a lot to take in.” I hoped he could understand what I meant.
Nodding, Dr. Sheppard gave me an understanding smile. “I’d be more worried if it wasn’t a bit overwhelming. It shows me you’re taking the position seriously.”
“Very.” Not sure what to say, I ventured out of my comfort zone a little and kept going. “I’ve always felt alone in what I wanted from a relationship. It’s weird to see proof that there are other couples out there like Maddox and me.”
“I can understand that. Feeling different is very isolating no matter what makes you have those emotions to begin with.” Dr. Sheppard paused for just a moment before he continued, “When there is a sexual or relationship component to it, that makes the feeling of isolation worse. We’re conditioned not to talk about those kinds of feelings unless it’s very traditional. A lot of my clients come here for that reason. They’ve felt alone and they’re trying to move past that.”
I nodded because I understood, but I wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m still in the don’t-talk-about-it phase.”
He smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You did a good job of communicating the other day.”
“Having Mad helped and knowing that Jeremy and Kevin already knew made it easier too.”
“Maddox seems very supportive, and I know Jeremy and Kevin are very understanding of your relationship as well.”
I laughed. “When they first found out, Kevin’s first words were something like he was glad to have found someone weird. I thought I’d die. He was so excited. It made it easier.”
“Having someone that enthusiastic about accepting your differences was probably startling.”
“It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, but I’m glad they found out. It’s nice having friends who get you.” I thought that they probably felt the same way.
Dr. Sheppard nodded. “Giving my clients a safe place where they feel understood and where they don’t have to hide is one of the most rewarding parts of my job.”
Sitting in Dr. Sheppard’s office, I knew right then; this was what I was meant to do. I couldn’t imagine being as comfortable as Dr. Sheppard, but I wanted to give other people that same feeling of acceptance—that there was someone who could understand.
Maybe helping other people would help me find my own confidence.
****
Walking through the apartment, I waved at Mad but kept heading right for the bed. The day had seemed endless, and I wanted to lie down for just a minute. Maybe five. Then I’d get up and function. Kicking off my shoes, I flopped down onto the bed then winced.
Damned cock cage.
I must have been tired if I forgot about it. Shifting around so it was more comfortable, I grabbed a pillow and shoved it under my stomach. I probably looked ridiculous with my ass up in the air, but it felt better than lying on the cage.
Taking a deep breath, I relaxed and tried to let out all the stress I knew I was carrying. Mad came in, took one look at me, then curled up beside me on the bed. “Long day? Did work go okay?”
Yes, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. “Did you get a ride home? I felt bad taking the car.”
I turned my head to look at Mad and he kissed my forehead. “Yes, the guys gave me a ride. It was fine. They even said that on days you work, they’ll do their best to give me a ride home. Our schedules aren’t that different.”
“Good. I was afraid you’d have to walk or pay for a cab.” Money wasn’t crazy tight, we’d planned things really well, and Maddox’s business was doing great. I just didn’t want to waste it when we weren’t sure what would happen next year.
“Even if I have to take a taxi once in a while, it won’t break us.” He shook his head. “We’re managing to save every month and it’s not like we go out partying and spend all our money on booze.”
I grinned. “We’re such party animals.” Some of our friends gave us shit for not going out more. They thought that since we moved in together, we’d gotten boring. To me, staying home with Mad was perfect. Watching a movie with him, playing while he was Daddy, it was everything I’d wanted. Why would I want to go and hang out with a bunch of drunk kids who I didn’t like that much?
Mad’s hand came up and started caressing the length of my back. It was soothing, and I had to fight the urge to close my eyes. His smile was loving and warm. “I don’t need parties; I’ve got you.”
I yawned. It wasn’t that late, but I’d been going since first thing this morning and it was starting to catch up with me. I tucked my head against the covers and closed my eyes, not hiding but it felt good. “Work went good. I talked to Dr. Sheppard a little. Not just about work stuff I mean…like about me and us…and the age play…and just…”
His hand stilled for a minute then kept going. “How did it feel to talk to him about it?”
“Weird. Good weird though. It was just a little, then we talked about office stuff and filing and hours, boring things.” I smiled, then gave a low moan when his hands wandered low toward my bottom. “Daddy.”
His hand teased at the top of my crack before heading back up my back. I grumbled and pushed my ass up, silently begging for attention. “That’s mean.”
Mad’s low laugh sent shivers down my spine. “You like it when I’m mean…when I tease you…spank you…make you wait to come.”
Listening to him talk made me needy. Suddenly, I wasn’t quite as tired as I’d been before. My bottom went up again, and I fought the urge to rut against the pillow. It wouldn’t help and would just make me more frustrated, but I couldn’t convince my cock of that. “Please?”
“Tell me more about your day first, Baby.” Daddy knew I was going crazy, but he was going to make me wait.
“Classes went pretty good…” I struggled to make my brain work. “I got the studying I needed done at lunch. It was a little stressful getting it all done, but I made it to work in plenty of time.”
I must have done something right because Mad slid his hand up under my shirt and started trailing his fingers directly on my skin. Another shiver raced through me and I moaned when his fingernails gently raked over my back.
“What else?”
“Some of the stuff I’m going to be doing is filing and easy stuff, but eventually he’s going to let me sit in on sessions. He said he has several patients who’ve agreed to it. I might have to tell them about me. I don’t know yet. Dr. Sheppard finally told me about him being little. That was weird. He says it like he’s explaining what he likes for dinner. Like it’s perfectly normal. A steak-instead-of-chicken kind of discussion.”
I groaned in pleasure as Maddox let his thumb slide under my pants and tease at the top of my bottom. His voice was deeper this time and I could hear his desire. “Good boy. Tell me more.”
As long as he kept touching me, I’d tell him anything he wanted.
“I might get to transcribe session notes into the computer later too. He handwrites his notes after he’s met with someone. He says he hates the computer, but his assistant doesn’t always have time to type up his notes. I’m not bad at typing, so he said we’d see about it later.” Daddy’s thumb skimmed over my hole and I clenched down, gasping at the sensation.
The cage might be frustrating, but it seemed to magnify every other touch.
“Daddy.” It came out as a breathy whine but I couldn’t help it.
“Does my baby want special kisses?” His thumb pressed right over my hole but didn’t go in. It was all I could do to lie still and wait.
“Please. Whatever you want, Daddy.” I was going to move if he didn’t do something soon.
He gave my bottom a pat that sent all kinds of dirty thoughts flying through my head then pulled his hand out of my pants and climbed off the bed. Pressing my face into the mattress I tried to wait patiently, but it was too hard. I thrust into the bed and moaned in frustration when the cage hit the pillow instead of my special place.
“You have to be a good boy if you want special kisses.” His husky words made the cage seem even tighter. I could hear him getting something out of the drawer, but I didn’t look. I liked the not knowing. The excitement of wondering what he was going to do turned everything up a notch.
“I’ll be good.” The breathy tone to my voice didn’t sound like me, but it pleased Daddy because I heard a low growl come from the end of the bed.
“I know you will. That’s why my boy’s getting a treat. I’m not taking off your cage.” His hand slid between my legs, gripping the restraint. “We’re going to leave this special place tucked away for a while longer.”
I hated it.
I loved it.
It wasn’t up to me, so all I had to do was nod. I’d given Daddy control. The times he really used it were always the most explosive and made me feel like I was completely his. By the end of the week, I’d be crazy, but he was right. I was going to constantly be thinking about him and how he was there for me.
When he reached under my stomach to unbutton my pants, I pushed my hips up. He gave a low chuckle and brought one hand back around to squeeze my bottom before moving back to strip me. Unzipping my pants, he pushed them and my jock down to my knees. The almost naked, almost clothed sensation always made me feel naughty.
Daddy was moving around on the bed. His hands kept caressing and teasing me. Always in a different spot, sometimes light, sometimes rough. I was fighting the urge to beg again when I finally felt his breath against me.
Out of everything we’d done, aside from the diapers, this was the most intimate. Being bent over…exposed for him…having his mouth on me…it was special. It made me feel ridiculous to think of it that way but no matter how many times he’d done it, the emotion never changed.
When the first flick of his tongue touched me, I almost came off the bed. Gripping the covers tightly in my hands, I arched up and moaned. I knew I was supposed to stay still, that was part of the game, but it was impossible.
Smack!
The pop of his hand against my bottom radiated heat and pleasure through me. I’d known it was coming, but it still surprised me every time. Another moan, another uncontrollable wiggle, and there was a smack on the other cheek.
I loved losing this game.
He went back to teasing me with his tongue, making tight circles around the clenched muscles. When I moved again, I was punished…rewarded maybe…with another spank. It was a delicious circle. His mouth would make me crazy, then the flash of pain and pleasure would make it even better.
By the time he was fucking me with his stiffened tongue, I was babbling and had pulled the sheets from the bed, trying to stay still. When he finally slid his finger into me, I was ready to fly apart, his strong grip on my thighs the only thing that seemed to be holding me together.
I was wet enough from his mouth that we didn’t need lube. I loved the slight burn right before he found—
“Daddy!”
He didn’t tease; he didn’t caress it lightly to draw out the pleasure—he made me fly. My orgasm flooded through me like a dam had broken. Clenching down on his finger as he continued to make me come, I felt deliciously helpless. Not being able to get hard somehow made the pleasure seem like it was completely out of my control. All I could do was hold on.
When the pleasure finally faded, it was like I’d run a marathon. Not even the sensation of the lubed plug sliding into me could get a reaction. The fullness just made me heavier. I was caught somewhere between being completely immobile and flying. It was incredible.
Daddy wrapped himself around me, giving the plug a pat. My body jerked, and the toy rubbed against my prostate, making me moan. There was no way I could come again right now, but I was still so sensitive the pleasure was overwhelming…like being spanked from the inside out.
Daddy growled into my ear as everything started to fade away. “This will keep you ready for later.”
I couldn’t wait for later.