Chapter Eleven
When he went to football practice, Ben never knew what he was going to be asked to do. Sometimes he just held things for the coaches or players. Other times he’d get water, or help the equipment manager. He helped the trainer sometimes, too. The best part was he got to be around football, and every day when practice was over, Coach taught him something new.
They always worked on throwing, but Ben also learned how to receive a snap, about the different positions, and sometimes Coach wanted him to receive. That was a little scary. Ben would run downfield and Coach would throw a bomb that Ben didn’t think he would catch, but he always did. He never missed. Ben was relieved that Aunt Mia had changed her mind a few weeks ago and allowed him to keep working for the team. If she hadn’t, he’d never have found what he was good at.
Coach Miller would bring him home or back to the library most days, but sometimes Aunt Mia would come by before practice was over and watch. She was trying to learn so she could understand why it was so important to him. On those days, she always talked to Coach.
They thought he was asleep after the baseball game. He’d fallen asleep on the bus, but when Coach had gotten him in the car, he only pretended to sleep. That’s when he saw his aunt and the coach kissing. And it wasn’t like one of those friendly kisses. It was gross.
Coach’s hands were on Aunt Mia. Ben knew they liked each other. He was only in fifth grade, but he could see it by the way they acted at the game. Coach paid a lot of attention to Aunt Mia when they were sitting together that night. Sometimes he held her hand, or his arm would be on the back of the seat. Every time he looked at her, his eyes got all soft and mushy.
Aunt Mia acted all girly when he was around. She’d play with her hair or bite on her lip. She always smiled when she was with Coach, and even though she pretended that he was annoying, she really liked him.
At first, he thought Aunt Mia was letting him hang out with the team so she could keep kissing the coach. But something changed, and now she was seeing Noah all the time and Ben got really confused. Ben didn’t really like him, and Aunt Mia didn’t either. Oh, she acted like she did, but Aunt Mia liked Coach Miller. He could just tell.
Kelvin picked him up in Aunt Mia’s office to walk to the field. Ben really liked him. Kelvin was cool and smart and he was a good football player. He could run faster than anyone Ben had ever seen. But what he liked best about Kelvin was that he treated Ben like he was just one of the guys.
It was drizzling a little as they walked down the road toward the field house. He didn’t really care, because he had a lot on his mind. When Ben looked up, he saw Kelvin was looking at him.
“You seem worried, man,” Kelvin said.
“I do?” Ben wasn’t really worried, but he was thinking about a lot of things. Mostly about the coach and Aunt Mia.
“What’s up?”
Ben took a deep breath and blurted it out. “I think Aunt Mia and Coach like each other.”
Ben looked at Kelvin and saw he was smiling, even laughing a little. “Yeah, I would say they do.”
Ben’s face dropped. “I don’t want him to hurt Aunt Mia’s feelings.”
Kelvin patted his shoulder. “I think they’re still figuring it out.”
“Right. Figuring it out.”
Kelvin took a step in Ben’s path and turned to face him. Ben stopped and Kelvin asked him the question, “You know something, pal?”
Ben had been hanging out with the team for a while, and he’d known Kelvin even longer. He felt like he could tell Kelvin anything. So he blurted it out. “Remember the baseball game I went to and Coach was there?”
“Yeah.” Kelvin folded his arms and nodded. “Did something happen?”
Ben nodded. “You should have seen the way they kissed. If they don’t like each other, there’s gotta be something wrong with that.”
Kelvin laughed. “Is that so? Well I guess you better have a talk with Coach Miller then. You are the man in your house.”
That made Ben think. “You think I should? I don’t want him to get mad at me.”
“He won’t get mad if you’re respectful. He likes honesty.”
“Okay, and what about that teacher guy? Should I talk to him too? ’Cause he’s hanging around.”
“Is Doc Connolly trying to kiss your aunt, too?”
“He’s trying, but I think the only one Aunt Mia wants to kiss is the coach.”
Kelvin nodded. “You better talk to Coach Miller.”
Ben took a deep breath and decided Kelvin was right. He needed to find out what was going on.
*
Adam looked over at Ben, staring out the passenger window. Usually the kid chewed his ear off, but today he was unusually quiet. Something was bothering him. Kelvin told him there was something on Ben’s mind, and from Ben’s posture Adam could see that was true.
He called Mia and told her he’d drive him home. He knew she got off work at four that day, so this way she didn’t have to wait around for practice to be over. A couple of times she came by and watched. He’d seen her across the field, bundled against the wind that constantly whipped around the field in the late afternoon. Every time he looked at her, he wanted her a little bit more. He wondered if he’d ever get the chance again.
Adam was just about to ask what was eating him when Ben spoke. His voice was low, but level and very firm. “You have to be careful with my aunt,” he said. “You can’t hurt her feelings.”
Talk about being blindsided. Stopped at a light, Adam shook off the shock before answering. “Okay.”
“I mean,” he said, facing Adam, “I know you like her.”
What did this kid know? “Well, yeah. We’re friends.”
Just saying the word “friends” reminded Adam of the major way he screwed up.
Ben didn’t budge. His face hardened, and Adam saw something eerily familiar in the set of his jaw. “You kiss all your friends like you kiss her?”
Forget blindsided. Adam just stepped on the mother of all emotional landmines. Yep. Ben knew something. There was a short toot from a horn and Adam saw the light had gone green. He stepped on the gas and realized he had to open up the conversation. “Did Mia say something to you?”
“No. And she doesn’t know I’m talking to you about this either.” Ben took a breath. “I saw you kissing after the baseball game, by the car. You thought I was sleeping. I wasn’t.”
Adam still had dirty dreams about that kiss, about where they should have ended up if she hadn’t needed to take Ben home. His hands had worked their way under her shirt and caressed the soft skin on her back. His mouth took hers in every way possible. She’d been so responsive, Adam didn’t know if anyone would ever be able to match Mia’s passion.
“You were awake?” Adam saw Ben nod. There was nothing he could think of to say. He did like Mia. But beyond that? That was the hurting territory Ben was talking about. Did he want to go there? Did Mia?
“Ben, sometimes adults, well, we like kissing. It doesn’t mean—” He stopped. “People can kiss without—” He could see by Ben’s expression that this was going no place good. “It’s hard to explain.”
“You aren’t allowed to make her cry. She doesn’t cry a lot, but I hate when she cries.”
Adam had to admire the kid’s protectiveness. He had a message and he made sure Adam received it—loud and clear. “No crying. Got it.”
“She likes you, Coach. I think she likes you a lot more than Noah.”
That made Adam happy, but Mia had been seeing the English geek pretty regularly since he’d blown off their dinner, and the more Adam learned about the professor, the less he liked him.
“Why do you think she doesn’t like him?”
Ben screwed up his face. “Well she doesn’t hate him or anything. He’s okay, but he talks to me like I’m stupid. He’s kind of a tool.” Adam had to fight back the shocked laughter. Ben was being serious, but hearing him call Noah Connolly a tool made Adam’s day.
“I just think she likes you better.”
They lapsed into a long silence after that. Adam thought about Mia and Ben, and how much having them in his life had become important over the last month and a half. He didn’t want to hurt either of them. Knowing that told him how things were going to go, but he’d have to tread very carefully, especially with Noah Connolly in the picture.
As they pulled in the driveway, Ben finally spoke.
“Are you mad at me, Coach?”
“Mad at you? No, not at all. I like the way you’re trying to take care of your aunt. It’s a good thing.”
“She takes care of me. My parents weren’t there for me, but Aunt Mia was. I guess it’s my turn.”
Adam nodded. He shouldn’t ask the question that was on his tongue, but he had to, and he expected Ben was more in tune with what was going on than anyone thought. God knew he talked like he was forty; the backbone in this kid was amazing.
“What do you know about your parents, Ben?”
“Not too much. My mother killed herself when I was a baby. My grandparents always said she ‘went away’, but I asked Aunt Mia what happened.” He took a deep breath and Adam continued to listen. “I never knew my dad and I don’t think he knows about me. All I do know about him is that he played in the NFL.”
“Really? Wow.” That explained a lot. Maybe the expressions he saw that were so familiar was because Ben reminded Adam of someone he knew. Someone he played with or against. It creeped him out a little. And how would he feel, he wondered, if he had a kid out there who didn’t know him?
“Yeah.” He grabbed hold of his backpack and pulled the door handle. “Thanks for the ride, Coach.”
“Hang on, Ben.” Adam turned the key in the ignition and opened the door. “I’ll come in. I want to say hi to Mia. I haven’t seen her in a while.”
Ben grinned. “She’ll be happy to see you.”
Adam hoped he was right.
*
The back door was open and when they stepped in the kitchen, he saw the table was set for dinner. There was something in the oven and then Adam’s ears picked up. Music was coming from the front of the house. He looked at Ben who had stopped to listen as well. The boy smiled.
“She’s taking singing lessons again. And piano.”
Adam followed Mia’s voice and stopped at the kitchen door to watch her. She sat at the piano, her back to them, and he held a hand out to stop Ben from entering the room and interrupting her. She was playing and singing. Her hair flowed down her back and moved as she put all she had into the song.
Adam had seen Mia at work, and she was very good at what she did. The students trusted her and the faculty was beginning to respect her abilities as a researcher. Mia was wicked smart and there wasn’t much she couldn’t handle, even from the most pretentious Ph.D.’s. But watching her play, hearing her sing, was watching Mia do what she was meant to do. He knew it when he saw her at the pub, and he knew it now.
He was frozen, listening to her sing about love and heartbreak. Her hands moved furiously over the keys. Adam played the piano himself. Technically, he was good, but he could never match the ability that seemed to come to her so naturally. And then there was her voice. It was pure and as clear as the message of the song she was singing.
Just like the night at the pub, Adam saw a side of Mia that left him speechless. This quiet, demure woman was a star that had never had a chance to shine. He looked down at Ben and suddenly grasped that when Ben’s mother had so selfishly taken her own life, she’d stolen Mia’s too.
When Mia finished the song, she rubbed her hands, turning when she heard Ben’s backpack hit the wall. Her eyes widened when she spotted Adam and he couldn’t say a word. He was so awed that he stood there, staring at her like a love-struck twelve-year-old.
“Hi,” she said. “I didn’t expect to see you.”
He nodded. “I figured.” He walked toward where she sat at the piano and crouched next to her. “Now I know why you’re always a little bit sad.”
“Excuse me? Sad?”
“You’re always a little sad, Mia. Like you’re missing something.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed a finger to her lips. Emotion was taking hold and Adam could see the music came from her core. “It’s important to me and I don’t get to sing very much anymore.”
“And now I’ve heard you twice. I will say, I like this song better.” He couldn’t help teasing her—watching her react was like an addiction. It was his only defense, since being around her affected him in a dozen different ways.
Her face flamed red and she focused now on her hands, lying in her lap. She knew he was referring to her slap at him during the karaoke performance, and her inherent sweetness didn’t let her hang on to any of the attitude she’d shown the night she sang. “Sorry about the bar. I was a little buzzed and, well, you know.”
“Don’t worry about it. I deserved it, but I can’t get over your voice. It’s beautiful. What I heard was…” He stopped. “I don’t even know what to say.”
Mia looked around. When she saw Ben had left the room, she reached out and touched Adam’s face. “I think you’re a little sad, too.”
“Why do you say that?” He brought his hand over hers without thinking.
“I think you miss playing football the way I miss music.”
She was right, he did miss it. He missed it every day. And even though his career would have been winding down by now, it bothered Adam that a stupid decision on his part ended it early. His sadness, if that’s what it was, came from disappointment in himself. “It’s different, but I think we understand each other better.”
She smiled. “I think we do.”
He nodded and looked at her hands, which he now knew could do amazing things. “Next year, you have to let Ben play football. There’s a really good youth league based in town and he’s born to play.” Adam lifted her hands and glanced at the piano. “Just like you, Mia. And from what he tells me, it’s in his blood.”
Mia looked at him and nodded. Clearly, Ben had told him about his father. “You’ll tell me when sign up is for the league?”
“I’ll tell you.”
“Will you promise me he won’t get hurt?”
“No. You know that’s not realistic.” Adam stood and pulled her to her feet.
“Will you stay for dinner?” She smiled at him sweetly, and at that moment she could have asked him to put a roof on the house and he would have done it. “I made lasagna.”
“Yeah? I love lasagna.” He hesitated. “Am I forgiven?”
She nodded. “I’ll set another place at the table.”
Before she got too far, he reached for her hand again. “Wait. Is your grandmother going to be around?”
Her eyes went wide and her lips parted slightly—she looked startled at the question. Confused. Worried. “She’s closing the bookstore tonight. It’s just us.”
Nodding, Adam released her hand. “That’s too bad. I would have liked seeing her.”
The smile that broke across Mia’s face was blinding, and internally, he celebrated. Adam knew if she was willing to give him another chance, he had to accept her place in this town and her connections to him and everyone here.
Mia left him in the living room while she went into the kitchen, and as Adam looked around the large space, taking it all in, he realized he wanted this. He wanted a home like this. He wanted the kids and the wife and as he looked toward the kitchen, where Mia added a place to the table, he realized he wanted her. The problem with that was he didn’t know if he deserved her.
*
Mia stacked the dishwasher, perfectly content to let Adam help Ben with his homework. Nana always offered to help, and if it was reading or writing, Ben couldn’t have been in better hands. But tonight, math was giving him fits, and Adam seemed to have a good handle on it.
When he surprised her earlier, she was a little embarrassed about the impromptu recital; but his reaction, showing so much respect for her music, tugged at Mia’s heart. He wasn’t supposed to be like this, so kind, so understanding. He was supposed to be arrogant, shallow, and not too bright. Adam was none of those things. He was so much more.
When the phone rang and the caller ID told her it was Noah, she regretted her acquiescence earlier to his suggestion that he come over to watch a movie. She reached for the phone to get it over with.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mia, it’s Noah.”
“Hi, Noah, how are you?”
“Good, we still on for later? I’ll bring the popcorn.”
“You know, I’m a little tired. Would you mind if I took a rain check?”
His silence told her he was disappointed. She felt bad, but she had no interest in seeing him.
“Oh, okay. I’ll call you on the weekend. We can get together then.”
The man had no read on her. Mia was starting to wonder if she was really waiting for a spark with him, or if she was settling.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, a little guilty. “That’s fine.”
“Night.”
“Night.”
Mia stared at the phone after she hung up and felt a little guilty for lying to him. But she wanted to spend time with Adam, and she didn’t know how she felt about Noah yet. He was nice enough, but there was something about him that conveyed a sense of superiority. She’d dealt with just that kind of snotty attitude from her mother her whole life; she didn’t need it in her boyfriend.
She turned to see Adam standing by the kitchen door. He had his jacket in his hand.
“Oh, are you leaving?”
“I heard you on the phone with Connolly. You’re tired. You don’t need me underfoot.”
Mia panicked. She’d told Noah not to come over so Adam would stay, not leave. God, that was bad, but she wasn’t going to jump him or anything. “Oh, no,” she started. “I’m fine, I just—” She pointed at the phone. “He’d be here every day if I didn’t set some boundaries.”
“So, you want me to stay?”
Mia nodded and Adam moved closer to her. The heat started building as soon as they made eye contact, as soon as he realized she wanted to spend time with him, and not the guy she was dating. But hey, they were friends. She should be able to spend time with her friends. Even if this particular friend tended to throw her system into a complete meltdown.
“Ben doesn’t like him.”
“Noah?” Mia shrugged and twisted her fingers as Adam stepped into her personal space, and did what he always did when he got so close. He played with her hair.
“I don’t like him either,” he said.
“Why?” Mia’s voice came out on a breath and she closed her eyes to keep from catching Adam’s gaze. She knew why he didn’t like him. It was a territorial male thing.
“Ben said he’s a tool.”
“He called him a tool?” That surprised Mia. She’d never heard Ben use the word in that context, and he’d never said anything to her about it. “Why is Noah a tool?”
Adam grinned and kept his eyes locked on hers. His fingers twirled a lock of her hair and Mia’s insides jangled in response.
“Because I don’t think he gets you. From what I know, he’s not a bad guy, but don’t get your hopes up.”
“In theory, we should be perfect for each other.” Mia brushed a piece of invisible lint off Adam’s shoulder and glanced up for a quick second.
“I’m no expert, but relationships don’t always follow rules.”
“His parents and my mother are friends. They belong to the same golf club in Charleston.”
“I get the pressure, but it isn’t about them. Do you like him?”
She looked away and he turned her face back toward his, but she still averted her eyes. If she looked at him, he’d know. “You aren’t sixteen, Mia. You can make your own decisions.”
“I know, but it’s not like I have all these men banging down my door.” Finally, she straightened her back and looked in his face. “I don’t have much luck with that, and he calls when he says he will. That should mean something.”
Adam stepped back and leaned his hip into the table. He knew they weren’t talking about Noah anymore, they were talking about him. “I guess. But I’ll ask again—do you like him?”
That was the big question, and the answer wasn’t easy. She liked Noah well enough, but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized what was missing. “So far it’s been okay, but there’s no, no—” She stopped. Did she want to go there?
“No what?”
“No chemistry. No spark. He’s nice, but—”
“You’re not feeling anything?”
If Mia had a bigger ego, she probably would have thought Adam was happy about that. He certainly looked happy. Too happy.
After the confession, there was silence. They both avoided eye contact, and for her part, Mia couldn’t believe she’d just opened herself up like that. If she were a gambler, she’d bet he was enjoying her embarrassment a little too much, but if he was, his face didn’t show it. However, he did look a little nervous.
“Look,” he said. “I hate to bring this up, but Ben had a talk with me today.”
“A talk?”
“Yeah. He said he knows we like each other and he warned me that I was not allowed to hurt your feelings and that I was not allowed to make you cry.”
“Oh. Wait. What?” Mia shook her head and walked in a circle. What made Ben say that? What made him think it was possible? “Why did he say that?”
“After the baseball game. We thought he was asleep in the car. He wasn’t.”
He wasn’t asleep. He wasn’t asleep and he saw Adam kiss her within an inch of her life. Did Ben see what Adam’s hands were doing? What her hands were doing? “Oh, my God.”
Mia leaned her head against the wall. “Oh, my God.”
Adam came to her, laced his fingers with hers, and she looked up. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“How do you explain something like that to a ten-year-old?”
“He’s a lot savvier than you give him credit for.” Adam held her hands and made her sit at the table. “He tried to be the man in the house. He wanted me to know if I hurt you, I’d have to answer to him for it. He wasn’t upset about the kiss, but he wants to protect you.”
Mia looked at their joined hands. “And this is when you talked about Noah?”
“Yeah, he doesn’t like Noah. And I think if Ben has the opportunity, he’ll tell him.”
“Oh, boy.” What a man she was raising. Just when Mia thought she was making a mess of everything, Ben showed her differently. “Noah won’t respond like you did. He won’t take Ben seriously.”
Adam took her face in his hands and dropped a sweet kiss on Mia’s lips. She’d never been so grateful to be in a chair, because the way her bones had just melted, she wouldn’t have been able to stand.
“The thing the professor doesn’t understand is that if he hurts you, he’s not only going to have to answer to Ben, he’s going to have to answer to me.”
She sighed. An honest to goodness sigh escaped and Mia fought back the tears. They were good tears, but tears nonetheless. With her emotions pouring out, she felt more vulnerable and confused than ever.
In a move that she was sure would stay with her forever, Adam dropped to one knee and wrapped her in his arms, holding her like she meant everything to him. It was like this whenever he held her. Safe. Secure. Perfect.
“Shhhhh. It’s going to be okay.” His hand went gently up and down her spine, and she wished he could hold her like this forever. “You’re going to get me in trouble with Ben if you cry.”
A watery laugh escaped, along with a sniffle, and Mia was able to gather herself. “You know, you have to stop kissing me.”
“I do?”
Mia nodded and after a few seconds, reluctantly, Adam agreed. “Okay.”
“We’re still friends, right?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “Friends.”