Reece sighs, puts an arm around me and leads me through to the kitchen. Silently, while I watch, he snags two bottles of wine from his wine fridge. He’s obviously impatient. His jaw flexes, and even through the days’ worth of growth on his face, I can see the clenching. He’s dressed in his shirt and tie. My fingers feel the urge to walk over and loosen it for him. Instead, I go to him and pick up the wine bottles while he grabs two glasses and the opener. He nods for me to follow him. When we reach the doors that lead to his backyard, he lets me step out ahead of him.

I sit down on the collection of chaise lounges he has there. In perfect, awkward silence, he opens a bottle, and pours us a glass. I take a sip and try to find the courage to speak.

“I want to tell you a story, Reece.” I finish the rest of my wine in two gulps and pour myself a second glass. I feel the compounding effect of this glass of wine and the ones from earlier, right away.

I look out into the evening, my eyes trained on the waves without really seeing them.

“When I was five, I fell into a pool at the house of one of my parents’ clients and the groundskeeper had to jump in to rescue me. I’d never been so frightened in my life. I ran to my father seeking comfort; wanting him to reassure me I’d be okay. Instead of being distraught that I almost drowned, he was furious that I had wandered off to the pool by myself when he’d explicitly warned me not to. He told me that I’d risked his job.” That night, he sat Julian and I down, and gave us the “if you bring attention to us, we’ll be deported” speech. I close my eyes and think back to that night.

I remember sitting there, next to Julian, both of us so scared while my father yelled.

“He kept saying that being deported was worse than a death sentence. It was the worst thing that could happen to our family. That he would die before he did anything to expose us to the life he’d left behind.”

I’ve never forgotten the look in my father’s eyes as he said those words. He was really afraid. Discovery and deportation were worse than death, was what he taught us. And Julian, who was not afraid of anything, was terrified. He didn’t sleep that night. And he never forgot my father’s message.

I open my eyes and look at Reece, I want him to know that I mean what I’m about to say. “We all knew that if we drew attention to ourselves, we’d be in danger of deportation or worse. We all knew once he’d been handed over to ICE, that we wouldn’t see him again. Detention Center deaths are common. People either die or are deported. Very rarely are they released to live happily ever after with their families. His death wasn’t your doing.”

“So, all of this activism has been some sort of penance for Julian’s death?” I ask, my voice quiet. I’m suddenly bone tired.

He leans forward, staring out at the water. His voice heavy with the conviction of his words. “It was at first. But I’ve learned so much since I started and now it’s a real passion. One I care about fiercely. But yes, this started because I didn’t want what happened to him to happen to anyone else. And I don’t know what to do with the knowledge that my mistake sent him there. I don’t know what to do with the knowledge that he was your brother and it’s your story.” He sighs. “I finished it, for real this time,” he says with a dark smirk. “I’m afraid that you’ll never be able to look at me without thinking that I’m the person who ruined your life.”

I turn to look at him and our eyes meet. I try to look away, but he grabs my chin and makes me hold his gaze. His eyes are windows to his soul. I can see the turmoil there.

“I know that right now, things seem bad. And there’s a lot we’ve got to figure out, Luc. But none of that comes close to how right the thought of there being an ‘us’ feels. But you’ve got to be one hundred percent sure about this because it won’t be easy. And if you’re feeling angry or resentful about the role I played in what happened to Julian, I need you to be honest with me about it.”

“Reece, I first heard your name when I was twelve years old. You’d come home from your final Olympic Games and retired from swimming, gone to work in your family’s business and overnight made yourself the public face for the immigration right’s cause. I’ve always thought you were amazing. Having your studio produce a movie based on a book that I wrote, it’s all felt like a dream come true. And then I got to know you, I found this instant friend. And that’s turned into something as beautiful as it is unexpected. Maybe if you’d still been a stranger when I found out you’d misidentified Julian, I’d have called for your head. But, now . . . you’re someone . . .” I cup his face, looking down at him. “Reece, I know you. I trust you.”

By saying those words aloud for the first time, I endow myself with a new coat of armor. That knowledge will be the fuel I’ll need to get through whatever comes our way. I feel a sense of calm wash over me.

Reece puts his hands lightly onto my shoulders and looks down at me. His rich brown eyes pull me in and my thoughts scatter. I want to finish what I have to say before we go any further, so I step out of his grasp.

“I can’t say that I won’t look at you and think about Julian, but I don’t blame you.”

I smile sadly at him. “Reece, you made a mistake. Years ago. Forgive yourself.” I feel a need to touch him; I grab his strong, warm hands and squeeze them as I speak. “None of us are perfect. I’m certainly not. I’m damaged in so many ways. But those cracks and breaks? Mistakes I’ve made? They’ve strengthened me.” He shakes his head as if to deny the truth of what I’m saying.

“You’ve managed to turn a tragedy into something good. I know you’ve changed a lot of people’s lives with your legal defense fund. You’re amazing.”

He cups my face. I close my eyes and press my cheek into his hold.

“You’re practically purring.” I feel his breath on my mouth and I open my eyes. His lips are an inch away from mine. His hold is firm and when he tilts my head and leans forward, his intent is clear in his eyes. A stream of panic shoots through and I step back.

“I thought . . .” he says as he retreats, confusion in his eyes.

I nod my head vigorously, trying to convince myself as well as him.

“I have more questions. Major ones. And so should you.” I place my open palm on his chest, to keep him at arm’s length. He grabs my wrist and using his hand like a cuff, holds it in place.

His eyes search mine, and when I swallow, audibly, he lets go of my wrist. He makes a sound in the back of his throat and sits down. “Okay, ask away. Anything.”

His sits with his legs spread, arms thrown over the back of the chair. It’s an invitation. I want to accept, but I know that if I do, the conversation I want to have won’t go any further. So, I pick up my wine glass and start pacing.

“Tell me about Fabienne. Are you really done or is there a possibility you’ll reconcile?”

He looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language

“Come again? Fabienne?” he asks.

“Yes, Reece. The last time I saw you, she interrupted us and she looked at me like I was playing with her favorite toy.”

He chuckles, and sounds truly amused. He loosens his tie and unbuttons the top button of his shirt like he’s making himself comfortable.

I start to pace again, back and forth between the chaises. My empty wine glass swinging between my fingers.

“It’s not funny. I want you to tell me where things are with you. I can overcome a lot, but if you’re unresolved when it comes to her, this is a non-starter.”

When I’m done with this declaration, I expect him to look concerned or thoughtful. Instead, he’s watching me, smiling broadly, his eyes full of mirth.

It startles me so much that I collide into the chaise that’s in front of me. And the next thing I know, the ground is rushing up to meet me. I hear the glass in my hand shatter as it hits the pebble-covered ground and I can’t do anything to stop myself from falling straight onto it.