There are moments in my life that, as they happen, I know will leave me changed forever. This trip is one of them. I’d never left California. I never thought I would. And I’d told myself I was content with that. Now, I know I’ll never be again. I just want to see more of the world.

California is a huge state and in lots of ways, the world has come to me. LA is the ultimate melting pot, where people have carved big chunks of their culture onto the city’s psyche. But I know, without a doubt, after visiting New York City, that I’m missing out. No movie, television show, book, postcard, can do this city justice. The buildings are gargantuan. You feel your insignificance when you stand next to one. They are majestic and soar into the clouds. And there are so many of them. The streets teem with people who are living their lives without caring what the person next to them thinks of what they’re wearing.

I mean, this is the world’s style capital, but there is not a single trend that dominates. Standing on the balcony of our suite at the Four Seasons, located in mid-town right between the world famous Park and Madison Avenues, I feel like I can see forever. And the cherry on top of this spectacular ice cream sundae of an experience is that I’m here with the most incredible man in the world. I love him so much that I’m terrified to explore it.

I glance at my watch.

It’s late, after ten. I should be tired, but my mind is still on California time, so sleep will elude me for a few more hours. Reece is inside on the phone with his publicist. At ten in the evening the streets look even more crowded than they did during the day. Yellow taxis play kamikaze, bobbing and weaving through traffic as they snake up East 57th Street.

Our interviews were all amazingly fast. Not having a studio audience helped me relax and answer the questions. Having Reece by my side made me feel like I belonged there. It was awe inspiring; sitting down with reporters I’ve seen on television every morning for years.

I can hear his raised voice from inside and I know he and Lacy, his publicist, are going at it.

I hope she’s tearing him a new one. Reece went off script today. Majorly. He answered every question about us with complete candor. By the time we’d made it to the recording for the evening show, pictures of us were everywhere. All the coverage of the movie is intermingled with stories about us. His phone has been ringing nonstop. The only people who’ve called me are Jess, Sol and my mother. Sol sounded very worried. Jessica sounded happy. And, my mother only said, “We’ll talk more when I see you on Sunday.” When I asked her what she thought.

When I’d been online earlier, I checked Facebook—my account doesn’t even have a picture—to see if I saw any mention of us. That was a mistake. Our names had been combined, Reecia, they called us, and we were a trending topic. Most of the articles focused on Reece. They didn’t really know much about me, yet anyway. And suddenly I was glad my Facebook page was sparsely populated. Without any information, they started making it up. They were calling me a rebound for Reece. That was fine. The less they knew about us, the better.

The last two months with him have been an experience. One that created a bond unlike any other I’ve ever had. He’s my favorite person. My mind is unfettered, my heart joyous when we’re together.

I’d never had a relationship like this. We’re each other’s safe place. His heart is so beautiful. His graciousness is totally unexpected. He isn’t perfect, but when he sees room for improvement in himself, he’s not afraid to admit it. He feels a real calling to try and use his platform for good.

When we’re alone with each other, it feels like nothing can touch us. Reece has awakened my mind, my heart and my body. I am learning new things about myself every day. I have moments, long swaths of time each day, where I feel invincible because I know I’m not alone anymore.

But standing here, on this balcony that may as well be the edge of the earth, I realize how destructible I am. I feel the vulnerability in every pore of my being.

I need Reece.

I walk back inside. He’s sitting on the plush brown leather couch, listening now instead of talking. I take a look around this suite. It’s more like an apartment than a hotel and it’s the definition of understated luxury. I walk over to him and he opens his arm and invites me to join him. I crawl onto his lap and lay my head on his chest. I hear the strong, steady beating of his heart. My whole body rises and falls with each breath he takes. And it’s like being plugged into an energy source. I feel my fatigue start to lift and my nerves start to soothe.

I used to lament being so short. But it seems I was perfectly made to fit him. After listening to Lacy talk for almost five minutes, Reece finally says, “You’ve made yourself clear, Lacy. But, we’re not going into hiding. We’ll be in Malibu unless being in LA is absolutely necessary.” She tries to cut him off, but he speaks over her. “It’s late here, I’m tired and hungry. And we can’t turn back time.” He listens again and then says, “Fine. Yep. Bye.” And hangs up. He immediately powers his phone off and throws it across to the couch opposite us.

He adjusts his position and my legs move to straddle his hips. “I thought she’d never let me hang up,” he says as he starts to run his fingers through my hair, gathering it into a ponytail in his fist.

“You were a very naught boy today, Reece Carras; you deserved that talking to,” I say to him, mock disapproval in my voice.

“I don’t regret it.” He leans forward and kisses the tip of my chin and then tugs softly on the handful of hair he’s holding, and looks at me. “Do you?”

“No,” I answer honestly. “They seem more interested in you anyway. They’re just referring to me as the author Reece Carras is seeing. No one really cares who I am. And that’s fine with me.” I’m surprisingly relaxed tonight. “You know, I’d been dreading all of the publicity and attention. But, I can understand how important it was for the movie and the story. Thank you for pushing me.”

“I’m proud of you. You did good today, Luc. And when we leave tomorrow night, we’ll go straight to Malibu and lay low for a while. In a couple of days, someone will break up, get married or post naked selfies on Instagram and they’ll forget about us.” He loosens his grip on my hair and I let my head fall back on his chest.

His big hands start to roam my back. Caressing, searching for spots of tension and then rubbing them until they disappear. I doze off several times in the twenty minutes we sit there. Each of us lost in our own thoughts.

We had to forgo our tour of Rockefeller Plaza earlier because of the media circus our presence caused. But even that change didn’t bring the disappointment I would have expected. I know that I’ll find a way to come back to this city. I feel unshackled. Reece has expanded my entire world. My heart is lighter. I’m less afraid and I see paths of ingress and egress where I hadn’t before.

Tomorrow morning we’re visiting Ground Zero and going out to see the Statue of Liberty before we go to see the site for what will be Artemis’ New York office. The company is buying one of the larger news networks and has started setting up shop in preparation for the move. It’s an acquisition that his father has been working on for almost two years, and the announcement has been causing waves in the entertainment world. Lots of discussion about the independence of news and what will happen once it’s owned by a company that is profit driven. Reece told me today that his father wants him to run the office, but he’s not sold on the idea, especially if he decides to run for political office.

“You’re tired?” Reece murmurs, his warm breath tickling the fine hairs on the side of my face. I reach up and caress the back of his neck, let my fingers run into his hair. He presses warm, open mouthed kisses on my neck.

“Yeah, a little, but I don’t want to sleep. Let’s go sit out on the balcony and watch the city . . . can we?”

“Your wish is my command, Fifty.”

“This nickname is devolving, Reece. I’ve stopped signing with my initials because of you. I’ve been horrified at the idea that there’re a bunch of people who I email that are calling me Fifty-five behind my back.”

He laughs and lifts me off his lap as he stands up. “Your imagination is pretty out of control there, Fiddy.”

I dissolve into giggles at this, and he takes my hand and pulls me up to standing. “I’ll grab the Glen Fiddich, you grab the glasses. Meet you outside.”

I go to the suite’s little micro kitchen and grab two tumblers and walk outside. It’s a cold November night, but the heat lamps on the deck make it possible for me to be comfortable in just a Henley and pajama bottoms.

Reece settles onto a chair and puts the things he’s carrying on the table in front of us. Along with the bottle of whisky, he’s also got a tube of lube and a dildo I’ve never seen before. I feel myself clench at the sight of them.

I have turned into a sexually insatiable woman. Reece and I fuck all the time. I can’t get enough of his cock in my mouth, in my pussy. I hadn’t had him in my ass yet. But tonight, I think I’m ready. New York City makes me feel like testing my limits.

Reece pours us each two fingers of whisky and then beckons me to come to him. I sit, my back to his chest, my legs bent at the knee, my feet perched on his thigh. We sit there silent as we take in the noises, the lights and each other.

When we’re in Malibu, Reece and I usually end our evenings outside. Sitting and listening to the ocean as it plays us a symphony of cresting, crashing and receding waves. I take a sip of my drink and savor the burn as liquid travels down my throat, warming me from the inside out.

Reece pushes my hair forward and starts to feather kisses on the slope of my shoulder where it meets my neck.

“I love you.” The three words that his actions have been telling me for weeks, fall out of his mouth in supplication. My heart flutters, and I feel myself grow wet as a throb comes to life between my legs. He kisses the base of my neck and my head falls backward, blanketing him with my hair.

Before I can respond he says, “This trip has been amazing. I’ve loved being here with you. I feel fucking invincible with you by my side. And I wanted the whole world to know that we’re a team. In every way that matters. The last two months have been incredible. He continues kissing his way up. I turn my head, and lift my arm to wrap around his neck.

“And I love you, Reece.”

“Fuck, yeah you do,” he says against my lips before he claims them in a kiss that I feel straight down to the tips of my toes. I can feel him filling me with his kiss, healing me with it. The ache that lives in my heart disappears when Reece kisses me. The worries that plague my daily life vaporize as I completely immerse myself in the experience of sharing my love with this man.

Without breaking our kiss, he plucks my drink from my hand and I hear the clank of glass as it lands on the table.

His hands come up and cup both of my breasts. I’m braless under my shirt and he takes my nipples in between his fingers and squeezes, rolling them as he does. A moan floats out of my mouth in a sigh that’s more like a hallelujah. I’ve ached for him all day, for his touch, the pleasure and the pain and I’m dripping wet already thinking about what’s to come. I writhe in his lap, dropping my legs so I’m straddling him, sliding back and forth on his rock-hard cock.

I stand up and turn to face him, and drop to my knees.

He drops his head back in anticipation, puts his hand in my hair and caresses it absently. The sounds of the city are muted now and my mind focuses on the task of unbuckling his belt, unzipping his pants and freeing his cock. My mouth waters in anticipation. I bend down and place my mouth on the tip of his head that’s already protruding from his briefs. I swirl my tongue over it and he hisses as his hips thrust up.

I use my hands to pull his briefs down, taking him deeper into my mouth as I expose him. He hits the back of my throat and I feel the sting of tears as my throat protests. I pull my mouth up, running my tongue along the underside of his length until I reach the tip. I suckle it.

“Lucía, baby. Yes,” Reece whispers as his fingers wrap themselves in my hair and he starts thrusting into my mouth. I put my hand between his legs and cradle his balls, I rolls them in my fingers and Reece moans and then says, “No, stop.” He lifts me to standing and yanks my pajama bottoms off and then yanks me back on his lap. His cock slips up and down in between the desire-drenched folds of my pussy and he reaches to the table for the lube and the dildo. He mumbles into my neck in between kisses, “I want to put this in your ass.” My thighs clench. “You ready for that?”

“Reece, I want you in my ass tonight. I’m ready,” I say insistently, knowing that he wouldn’t need much convincing.

“You don’t need to ask me twice,” Reece says. He’s already lubing up the pucker in my ass, pushing a finger, then another inside to lubricate and stretch me.

My hips start rolling, my pussy clenching eager to be filled. When he picks up the dildo, I startle a little “I thought you said . . .”

He kisses me to silence me, and with his tongue slicing through the last of my wits, I forget about the dildo and feast on the meal this man is feeding me. And then I feel it, the cool, plastic, dildo pushing into my pussy. I bear down on it and let go of the remnants of the day’s stress. He pushes it in to the root and then leaves it there.

I contract around it enjoying the sensation it causes as it rubs against the bundle of nerves deep inside me. And then he shifts me, grabs his cock and lathers it in lube. He lifts me up and positions his cock at the entrance of my ass and says, “You’re driving, let me know if you want help.” I feel the broad tip of him at my pucker and I look at him as I lower myself onto him. The sensation is indescribable. It hurts, but in a way that is exquisitely delicious. I slide lower, slowly. My eyes closed, trying to focus on all of the sensations assaulting my body right now. I don’t even hear the street noise. I hear only my blood rushing as my heart works to pump blood to the places that are demanding it.

I feel his cock rub against the dildo as I take more of him inside me. This is peak pleasure. I grunt as I finally sit down fully, resting my ass on his thighs. I feel impossibly full. My pleasure is tinged with a trill of fear that this might be too much. Can a body handle this much bliss?

“Lucía, my God. I . . . you’ve got to move.”

I start to rock my hips, lifting and then coming back down to take him again. I grunt at the effort I’m making and Reece’s eyes open.

“You can take it, baby.” He squeezes my ass and dips his head to pull my nipple into his mouth through my shirt. The hot wet recess of his mouth sending sparks of electricity straight to my core.

“Reece, it’s too much. I can’t.” I moan as I feel something flip inside, it’s the beginning of an orgasm, but it’s from a place inside of me I’ve never felt.

“Too much? It will never be enough, Lucía.” And then he starts to thrust his hips upward. I cry out from the powerful tremors inside of me. My thighs start to shake so badly that I have trouble balancing myself. Reece’s arms band around me. I reach between us and touch my clit and as soon as I do, I explode. Reece’s arms tighten as I shudder my release, one that feels endless and threatens to overwhelm me. I feel like I’ve been shot from a catapult and am hurtling through space and time, completely untethered. Caged in the arms of the man I love, I find a new kind of freedom.

Reece’s rhythm falters as he starts to make slower, more powerful thrusts inside of me and then, he’s groaning into my neck, grinding up into me.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re showered, and in our hotel bed. One hand is holding mine under the covers, the other is stroking my hair as we both start to drift into sleep.

Reece mumbles at the edge of sleep and wakefulness, “You make me so happy, baby. Thank you for this trip, I know what a big deal it is.”

“I’ve had the time of my life,” I whisper back.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” And then he yawns and squeezes my hand.

And just like on every other night I’ve spent with him, I fall in love, at a thousand miles an hour, all over again.