Finals came and went. Christmas blew by with Coby moving into his new house and then the two of us going home. We still talked every chance we got, but the conversations were often short and frequently took place in front of large groups of eavesdroppers. I never ignored one of his calls, regardless of where I was—whether that was at a frat party or the library. There had even been a handful of lectures I’d excused myself from to take his call in the hall, since it would only last a couple of minutes. It was harder for me to reach out to him. His schedule constantly changed, I couldn’t keep up with his workouts or practices, and considering I never knew who he was with, I didn’t want to interrupt whatever he might be doing.

The last time I called, he’d been on a date, which shocked the crap out of me. I later learned it had ended shortly after we’d hung up because women are jealous creatures. After that, I decided it was safer to text him and then wait for him to return my call. But the days of endless conversations about every detail of our lives were gone. More often than not, big events were shared via text. I felt like I lived on the outskirts of his life, and he on mine. The only time it ever got to me was when I’d had a bad day and needed him. Otherwise, I was thrilled to see him on television or read an article in the paper.

I made a concerted effort to go to his house when he was home for any length of time, but it felt weird being there without him. Although, he still insisted I was moving in this summer. I couldn’t figure out why it was so important. He wouldn’t be there for long stretches during the season, but I had no desire to return to DeArmanville without him.

Ryan and I had gotten really close, and true to his word, he’d introduced me to what felt like the majority of the student body, but with close to thirty-eight thousand students, that obviously wasn’t true. I’d gone from being a social outcast in high school to having more friends than I could count. There wasn’t a single player on the baseball team who hadn’t embraced me. Even Melinda had found a beau in Ryan’s best friend, Shea.

As the weather had started to warm up, I spent more days outside studying in the sunshine. The dorms were cramped, not to mention loud, and I’d walked in on Shea and Melinda one too many times for my liking. I appreciated her healthy sex life, but I wasn’t interested in the details of Shea’s rear end. The fact that I knew he had a baseball tattooed on his right cheek with his number in the middle of it was more than I cared to visualize. And the memory of his sack slapping my roomie as he pounded into her had given me nightmares for weeks.

So, the lawn was the safest place to be.

“Penny for your thoughts, Teller.” Ryan plopped down next to me and tossed his backpack in front of him just before he flipped a shiny, copper coin in my lap.

“Hey, stranger. It’s going to cost you at least a quarter for the inner workings of my mind.” I tossed the change back at him. “I thought you had practice.”

“I did. It ended almost an hour ago.” He picked at the grass around him. “How long have you been out here? Your cheeks are burnt to a crisp.” Using the ends of the scratchy, green blades he’d plucked from the ground, he tickled the sensitive area below my ear.

I swatted his hand away and touched my face with my fingers. The heat radiated off my skin, and I groaned, suddenly aware of how much they’d hurt tomorrow. “Longer than I thought.”

“Have you heard from Coby?” He reclined back and stared at the sky.

“Not since Monday. Why?” Coby’s name hadn’t come up much since the first time we’d gone to lunch. I was unsure if Ryan was trying to prove he wasn’t in the friendship to use that connection, or if he genuinely didn’t care about my friend—I tried to believe it was the latter. Ryan was aware I talked to him all the time, and he always said hello if he were around when I took one of Coby’s calls, but he never brought him up.

“The Titan’s announced their starting lineup today.”

I quickly closed the book I’d been reading and set it aside, waiting for the rest of what Ryan had to say. But instead of giving me the information he knew I wanted, he grinned and threw his forearm over his eyes to block out the sun.

“And…?”

“And nothing. They just put out the list.”

“Was Coby on it?” I moved to my knees and hovered over him, but he still couldn’t see me with his arm blocking his sight.

“You should probably call him.” Ryan didn’t have to say anything else.

I hoped he wasn’t setting Coby up to give me bad news, but I couldn’t believe Coby hadn’t called to tell me himself. Reaching my hand into my backpack, I dug my phone out of the side pocket and checked for Wi-Fi before hitting the button to connect to FaceTime. He answered on the fourth ring, just before I hung up. When the video appeared, I could hear people talking all around him, and I could see the tops of lockers, but the phone pointed toward the ceiling as he moved. This was his way of telling me to hold on until he could get to a place he could talk.

When his face finally appeared, he looked as if it were any other day. “Hey, E.T. Sorry about that. I was in the locker room, and no one needs to see the shit I’m subjected to on a daily basis…especially not your innocent eyes. What’s up?”

I bounced on my knees. “Coby Kyler. Do not make me read about this in the paper or find out about it on the news with everyone else.”

“If you’ve already heard, then why did you call?” He pushed his glasses higher on his nose, and the left side of his mouth turned up in a smart-ass grin.

“I haven’t heard. That’s why I called. Ryan said they announced the starting lineup, but he refused to tell me if your name was on it.”

“Tell Ry-Guy I appreciate him not spoiling my big news before I could tell you myself.”

Ryan groaned. He hated Coby’s nickname for him—there wasn’t an ounce of doubt in my mind Coby knew Ryan could hear everything he said.

“I got you and the boy band season tickets to the home games.”

“Does that mean you’re pitching?” I squealed like a giddy little girl, and I saw Ryan bolt upright. I wasn’t sure if it was the reference to Coby making fun of him or his mention of season tickets that had caught his attention.

“Yeah. Gary retired. I was next in line. That was the whole reason they didn’t defer me to the Minors after the draft.”

“Oh my God. How long have you known?” I wanted to be mad, but there was no way I could take this from him.

“Pretty much since I signed the contract, although anything can happen, so until it was confirmed and made public, there were no guarantees. I didn’t want to get your hopes up and then let you down, Ellie. Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not. I hate that after almost nineteen years, you still think you could ever disappoint me. But I’m over-the-moon happy for you. And I can’t believe I get to be there in person to see it.”

“Can you swing by the stadium to pick up the passes, or should I have them mailed to you? I could only get four, so tell Marky Mark that the Funky Bunch will have to take turns coming with you.”

Ryan flipped Coby off behind my head, though the smirk on both men’s faces told me it was all in good fun.

“I’ll find out when the ticket office is open and stop by. I’m so proud of you, Coby.”

“I’ve got to run, Ellie. We have a meeting that I’m already late for, but I’ll call you tonight.”

Before I could say goodbye, he’d disconnected. I turned to Ryan and found Shea and Bryson, another guy from the UAT team, standing above him, blocking the sun.

“Was that your puppet, Ellie?” Bryson was probably my least favorite person Ryan hung out with. The chip on his shoulder was the size of Mount Rushmore, and I hated his condescending tone.

I ignored him, and instead, looked to Ryan and Shea. “So how do you two feel about watching Coby pitch his first Major League game?” I shot daggers at Bryson before softening my expression. “From the stands.”

“How the hell did you get tickets? That game is sold out.” Bryson’s irritation made dealing with him worthwhile.

“My puppet,” I deadpanned just before I pepped back up to address Ryan and Shea. “So? Do you guys want to go? Shea, you can bring Melinda. I have four tickets.”

Shea gave Ryan a casual high-five and shrugged off Bryson. “Maybe if you weren’t such an ass all the time, you would’ve gotten an invite.” Shea effectively dismissed his team member and left shortly thereafter for a class that had started five minutes earlier.

Ryan snaked an arm around my waist as he settled onto his back in the grass again, pulling me with him—and practically on top of him. The grin still held residence on his face. I’d grown accustomed to that heart-stopping smile, but not unaffected by it. My pulse sped up as I gawked at his lips. And he caught me staring.

“See something you like, Teller?”

I licked my thumb and wiped it across his mouth. “Nope. Just some ketchup.” I couldn’t keep a straight face.

He rolled me over and followed through, landing on top of me, pinning my hands above my head. His long fingers engulfed both of my wrists, and he settled between my thighs. When he used his free hand to poke my ribs, the giggling erupted into laughter. My stomach ached as I begged him to stop, and tears leaked from the sides of my eyes.

Ryan finally relented when I cried, “Uncle!” But before he got off me, he planted a kiss on my forehead. My heart stopped. The clouds didn’t move, the wind didn’t blow, the birds didn’t chirp. It couldn’t have been more than two seconds, yet when the merry-go-round of life resumed spinning, I’d been flung completely off my axis. In that one action, Ryan McNally had thrown me off kilter.

* * *

“Ellie, why are you making such a big deal out of this? It was a kiss on the forehead. My dad does that all the time.” For someone who had no relationship experience before meeting Shea, Melinda had become an expert on all things romantic.

“Because from a guy you’re not related to, that gesture holds more meaning.” I’d spent days avoiding Ryan in person and pacifying him with text messages.

“Do you like him?”

I didn’t have an answer to that. I thought it could be a possibility; however, I still had reservations behind his motivation for our friendship—even though he’d given me no reason for it.

“You totally do! Just tell him.” She threw a pillow from her bed at my head, hitting me square in the cheek and knocking me over.

“I don’t want to mess things up. If he doesn’t feel the same way, it might ruin the friendship.”

“Are you going to friend-zone every guy who falls for you?”

“I have no idea. It’s never happened.”

“You’re kidding me with that, right? What about Coby?”

“It’s not like that, Melinda.”

“Keep telling yourself that, but I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you…and that is not the way a guy looks at his best friend.”

I’d heard all this for years. People simply didn’t understand our relationship, although that didn’t mean their theories had any merit. “Can we stay on topic here, please?”

“Fine. I’ll call Shea. He’ll know. Then you won’t have to mention it to Ryan.”

This was so high school. Yet I didn’t stop her from picking up the phone. Or listening to one side of the conversation like it held the meaning of life. The discussion was short, and I couldn’t get a read on Melinda’s face as to the outcome. When she hung up, I raised my eyebrows, waiting.

“So you heard what I asked Shea.”

“Clearly, I’m sitting in front of you.”

“His response was, ‘Mel, guys don’t hang out with girls every day unless they want to claim them.’”

“What the hell does that mean?” I wasn’t a prize to be won or a dog to own.

“That he’s into you, doofus.”

The clarity I’d hoped Shea’s answer would bring did nothing but further confuse me. I had less than twenty-four hours to figure this crap out before I embarked on what now might be considered a double date. And for Coby’s first game, no less.

When Coby called before I went to bed, I wanted to tell him everything that happened and get his opinion. Except the moment his face filled the screen, I could see he was exhausted and I figured he needed rest before taking the mound tomorrow. If I brought it up, he’d talk long into the night, and it wasn’t fair. Nothing would change with Ryan and me between now and Coby’s game. So, I made a mental note to tell him about it later and listened to him talk about his day. When he was ready to sign off, he put his finger on the screen, and I did the same.

I couldn’t wait to finally see him play.

Ryan and Shea showed up the next night, decked out in Titans’ gear. It was cute to see them excited to watch the pros play. But I could tell something was off. I’d bet my favorite pair of Converses that Shea had told Ryan about Melinda’s phone call. He was still the same guy, yet where there hadn’t been tension between us before, it now hung heavy in the air. I couldn’t determine whether I had allowed myself to see him in a different light, or he had switched gears and had decided to start his pursuit. Then, when we got out of his truck at the stadium, Melinda and Shea strolling ahead of us, he casually took my hand like he’d done it every day since we’d met.

The warm feel of his skin on mine sent chills up my arm. I wanted to lean into him to see if it was a fluke or chemistry, but I couldn’t relax. At the entrance to the stadium, he released my hand so I could go through the turn stall. To my dismay, he didn’t retake it once we were inside the park. The guys loaded up at the concession stand before we found our seats and then just about wet themselves when they realized we were in a skybox to watch the opening game.

Shea and Ryan sat between Melinda and me. And after the national anthem had been sung and we resumed our seats, Ryan leaned over, took my hand again, and whispered, “Thank you for this, Teller.” Then he kissed my cheek sweetly. Not romantically. Platonically.

Every fear I had when I met him came racing back. Still, there was no way this guy would have put the kind of time and energy into befriending me in hopes of getting tickets to the Titans’ game. I hadn’t even known Coby would be able to get me in, so Ryan wouldn’t have had a clue. But before I could spend hours obsessing over it, analyzing every encounter the two of us had on and off campus, my best friend jogged out to the mound.

And I was lost in all that was Coby.

He didn’t pitch a no-hitter, although he came close. And before he walked off the diamond for the last time, having helped the Titans to their first win in more than a dozen games, he crooked his finger toward our box.

“Oh my God,” Melinda squealed and smacked my arm after reaching across Shea and Ryan. “That’s that weird thing you two do. And he just did it in front of a sold-out stadium and on national television, Ellie.”

I kept my hand balled into a fist and listened to her explain what she was talking about to her boyfriend and Ryan while my eyes tracked Coby back to the dugout. He’d done it.

Coby Kyler had just won his first Major League game…at eighteen.

My heart soared.

And then it sank.

This was the first game Coby had ever played where I wouldn’t get to see him afterward. I couldn’t hug him and tell him how amazing he was. I had officially just become nothing more than a fan.

“Hey, babe.” Ryan had never used a term of endearment with me. Actually, I couldn’t recall him ever using anything other than my last name to get my attention.

“Yeah?” I turned away from the glass and the now empty field.

“You’ve got a message.” He held up my phone that I’d used to take pictures with and had left in the seat when I stood at the end of the game.

I took my cell from him and touched the screen to make it light up.

Unknown: E.T.

Even when it was his time to shine, I had been his first thought at the end of the game.

Me: Phone home.

And just like that, with two text messages and three words, all was right in my world again. I couldn’t begin to guess how he got access to a phone or who it belonged to, yet that exchange was all it took to send me back to cloud nine.

When Ryan wrapped his arm around my shoulders, I welcomed his embrace. He and Shea recounted every inning, pitch by pitch, and not just Coby’s stats, but every player who had stepped up to bat. I didn’t need to talk—I was perfectly happy basking in Coby’s win. I stayed quiet on the ride home, listening to the three of them jabber. Ryan let Shea and Melinda out at his dorm before driving around campus to mine.

In all the times he’d dropped me off in the past, he’d never gotten out of the truck. Tonight, however, he released my hand—which he’d held on the console since we left the parking lot—and then came around to open my door. The truck sat higher with large tires, but my shorter stature made the distance to the ground that much farther. Before I hopped out, Ryan’s hands found my waist and lifted me into the air. When he had me firmly on the ground, he pressed his hips into mine without releasing his hold.

I stared into his grey eyes, wondering what thoughts were running through his mind. But he appeared calm. His right hand left my hip, and I instantly missed its touch until he cupped my jaw. Ryan wasn’t overly tall, although at roughly six feet, he towered over my five-foot-three frame, and he had to bend his neck to reach my mouth. It was by far the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and then I realized his lips had met mine. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth for him. The kiss was different than the ones I’d shared with Coby, but I couldn’t pinpoint how and finally dismissed the thought in favor of the sensation.

When I eventually broke away, Ryan tipped his forehead to mine. “I had a great time tonight, Teller.”

I smiled and nodded slightly to acknowledge the words but didn’t risk ruining the moment by saying something stupid.

He pecked my lips again and smacked me on the ass the way all baseball players seemed to do. “And next time you have a question about how I feel, don’t get Melinda to ask Shea. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

My mouth hung open in shock, while Ryan found humor in the situation. He loved having the upper hand. As he circled the hood of the truck, I backed away in the direction of my dorm. I waved without saying a word and finally turned away from him.

“Hey, Teller.”

“Yeah, Atlas?” I doubted he got the reference to the maps or the connection to the Titans, still, it fit, and I liked it.

“Mark my words. I will claim you. It might not be this week. Or even this month. But I’ll wait as long as you see fit to make you mine.” Without giving me time to respond, he got in his truck and drove away.

Just as I got ready to climb into bed, my phone chimed with a text. I expected it to be Coby. Instead, I found a message from Ryan.

Ryan: I don’t carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I will always help you find your way.

* * *

Ryan and I spent the rest of the semester dancing around a relationship. He went to all of Coby’s home games that didn’t interfere with his own, and I rotated friends I brought with me. My parents and Mr. Kyler even came to a few to cheer on their son. Choosing between attending Coby’s games and Ryan’s was never easy, but in the end, Ryan knew I refused to miss seeing the Titans at home. That alone proved to me I wasn’t ready to commit to an exclusive relationship, even though I wasn’t dating anyone else. With Coby’s busy schedule and his constant travel, I hadn’t even told him about the kiss or Ryan’s proclamation on opening night.

He was aware we hung out all the time and that I’d become a fixture amongst the UAT baseball team, but he had no idea I had a romantic interest in one of the players. It wasn’t like I needed his permission, although Coby still expected me to move in after finals, and I still planned to do it. Except, I hadn’t had that conversation with Ryan since before Thanksgiving break, either. I didn’t want my decision to be based on another man’s opinion of my living arrangements.

I adored Melinda, yet I hated the dorms. There was never any privacy—not that I needed it, but it made studying difficult—and I was used to a much slower-paced life. Something was always going on inside those walls—it felt more like Vegas than college. Ryan had mentioned his plans to stay in town this summer, so it made sense to move in with Coby. I could still be here to hang out and lounge around by the pool. Going back to DeArmanville wasn’t a possibility.

For now, I needed to make it through finals. Once I accomplished that, I’d face the discussion with Ryan, but not before I talked to Coby. I just hadn’t realized how fast it would all happen. Less than two weeks later, I sold my textbooks back to the campus store and packed all my things.

“Hey, babe.” The voice that made my thighs quiver came from the doorway to my room.

“Hey. How’d your last exam go?”

“Good, I think. Do you need help getting this stuff over to Coby’s house?”

I fumbled over my thoughts as they came out of my mouth. “I’m not—do you mind—well, shit.” I plopped my butt down on my bed. “Are you mad?”

He assumed the seat at my desk and turned the base to face me. Rolling closer, he took my hand in his. “Why would I be mad? If you go home, I won’t be able to see you until fall.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d take my moving in with another guy.”

Raising my hand to his mouth, he kissed the knuckles. “It isn’t my first choice, but it’s not like Coby’s going to be there much. And the two of you are just friends, right?”

“You know we are.”

“So I don’t have to worry about you having some fantasy of wild, monkey sex with him, correct?”

Ryan hadn’t ever asked any questions about my relationship with Coby. He’d heard me defend myself vehemently to people who doubted our friendship, but not once had he directly asked if anything had ever happened between us.

“No, you don’t have to worry about wild, monkey sex. That’s not something I care to repeat.” I let the words seep from my mouth, fully aware there would be a reaction. I didn’t like keeping anything from him, yet at the same time, I had no idea how to casually offer such information. Anything was better than, “I like your shirt. Oh, and…I had sex with Coby a year ago.”

His head jerked back. “You’ve had sex with Coby?”

I shrugged. “Just once.”

The way his brow furrowed caused his forehead to crinkle in confusion. “Did you not like it?”

“Does anyone like their first time?”

He scoffed, but I wasn’t sure what that really meant.

“It was the night of the draft. We were both virgins. I don’t know what to tell you. It happened, although nothing physical has ever taken place again, not so much as a kiss.”

His head cocked to the side in disbelief.

“We didn’t do it because we had a burning desire to be intimate with each other. It was more like getting drunk with your best friend because you’d never done it before and didn’t want to go off to college never knowing what it felt like. That was it—a safety net of sorts, experiencing it with someone I trusted. Nothing more, nothing less. I never wanted to regret my first time, and I wouldn’t with Coby. Come on, it’s not like you’re a virgin.”

He pursed his lips and raised his brows.

“Get out!” I smacked his chest. This guy was incredibly hot, girls flocked to him, and he wanted me to believe he’d never had sex. “You’ve never gotten your willy wet?”

His head moved slowly from side to side. “Not intercourse, no. Although technically, I have gotten my willy wet.” He smirked as he repeated my words. “My dad’s a minister. My brother got a girl pregnant in high school, and after that nightmare, I swore I wouldn’t take the chance until I was out of college. It should probably be a religious thing, and I guess it was when I was younger, but now it’s a selfish thing. I’m not interested in getting strapped with a baby I’m not ready for, and I don’t want to ruin my future.”

“So your brother has a baby?”

“No, she had a miscarriage in her first trimester, but the scare alone was enough to keep me celibate. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll play the field, I’m just not sliding into home plate.”

That certainly put a different spin on things. And it took a lot of pressure off, as well.

“Well, to answer your question, no, you don’t have to worry about Coby and me doing anything. Not that you and I are in a relationship.”

“Not yet.” He winked and pulled me to my feet. With a gentle kiss, he released me. “Come on. I’ll help you take this stuff over there and get it inside. We’ll cross the other bridge when we get there.”

* * *

Every time I tried to broach the subject of my interest in Ryan with Coby over the summer, something got in the way. He was almost never home, and when he did come in from the road for a couple of days, he spent half that time recovering. I didn’t want to talk about heavy subjects when I usually only had one night to hang out with him—that time was much better spent watching movies or listening to tales of his trips.

I wasn’t surprised by much of anything he told me. Women threw themselves at these guys, and there were two types of men on the team: those who were single, and those who lied about being single. I didn’t need to know anything more than that. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe Coby wasn’t getting his fill of the ladies in different cities. The pictures in the tabloids painted a pretty clear picture that my best friend wasn’t leading a celibate lifestyle.

But before I knew it, I was back in school, and my sophomore year was half over. I gave up trying to tell Coby about Ryan, and finally just started talking about him like I would anyone else I spent time with. Coby could draw lines to whatever dots he wanted to connect. The only thing he ever cared about was my happiness, and he knew I had that in spades—even if I missed seeing him more frequently. My parents were disappointed neither of us had come home for Thanksgiving, and my mom cried when I opted out of Christmas, but Coby was on the road, and I just couldn’t face Podunk, USA without him. The two of us spent both holidays on FaceTime with me in our kitchen and him in some random hotel room with makeshift family meals. Ryan had begged me to come home to meet his parents, yet I still held fast to the notion we weren’t a couple, we just chose not to see other people. It worked for me, and Ryan hadn’t pushed the issue.

The only issue the two of us had was my agreement not to have guys in Coby’s house when he was home. I thought it was a minor concession since he paid my tuition plus room and board, although Ryan thought it said more about my friendship with Coby than it did.

“Ugh, Ryan, all it says is he wants to come home to an empty house. He doesn’t bring women here, either.”

If we’d had that discussion once, we’d had it a thousand times. But since the deed to the house wasn’t in my name, there wasn’t anything I could do except abide by Coby’s wishes. Truth be told, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t interested in seeing him parade random girls around any more than he wanted to see my companions—not that they were plural.

By the start of Coby’s second season, I’d gotten into the swing of managing school, Ryan’s baseball games, the Titans’ games, and a relationship…even if I still refused to admit I was in one. I declared my major in secondary education and began to map out what the rest of my college career looked like. Living twenty minutes away, I’d pulled back from the social scene on campus a bit. Melinda and I had been really close when I lived in the dorm, but since I’d moved in with Coby and she’d attached herself to Shea’s hip, the frequency with which we saw each other had dwindled.

I didn’t know what the next two years would bring with Coby’s career, or my own. Ryan would graduate a year before I did, which added another layer to the puzzle. As it stood, my life revolved around the two men who occupied my heart and the baseball fields they played on. With each day that passed, Ryan and I got closer. Not just emotionally, but physically. I never thought I’d be bothered by a man’s desire to wait to do the deed. To never go past third base with a guy I’d been seeing for over a year, even though we weren’t in an exclusive relationship, had frustrating moments.