The spiral stairs went up and up and they passed a half dozen more landings before Bain stopped and let her catch her breath. All these Mabnoans were used to climbing up and down these stairs a million times a day, but it was still new for Lina who didn’t do much traveling at all without a zipline.
“Something you said in the caverns got me to thinking,” he said, leading the way through a normal-sized door after resting his palm against an electronic lock.
“Oh?” She could only imagine what. She’d said a lot of things in those caverns. She’d opened herself up to him and he’d rejected her outright. It still stung, but it was more of a mental sting. It didn’t go all the way to her heart. Because in her heart, she still wanted to believe that there was more here. That Bain cared for her the way everyone seemed to think he did and that this was all just some sort of misunderstanding. In her heart, she’d already forgiven him and she wasn’t even sure what the transgression was.
“Yeah. About the delegations and their gifts. A long time ago, when the palace was first being built, one of the delegations gifted us an observatory, so that we might see the planets of our allies. It’s never been able to see all that far, but I found the documentation that was presented with it over a century ago and… Well…”
He’d led her down a hallway to another door, with another electronic lock. This door opened onto a grand balcony that hung from the tree, nothing but air underneath it. She looked up and could see the very top of the great palace tree and knew that this had to be the best view in all of Mabnoa. But it wasn’t the view of the planet that Bain had brought her here for.
Perched on the edge of the balcony was a huge telescope pointed at the sky.
“Take a look,” Bain said, his voice more than a little proud. Lina wasn’t sure what to expect, or how this was supposed to fix anything, but she leaned forward, resting her eye against the viewing piece and sucked in a sharp breath.
Focused in the sight of the telescope, a tiny blue and white marble spun against the vast blackness of space. It was hard to make out, but even now she could see the familiar shapes of coastlines she knew, and her eyes welled with tears.
“It’s… But how did you… I thought you’d never heard of it?”
Bain shrugged, his smug pride fading into sheepishness with her gawping gratitude. “I’ve had a lot of time in the palace to conduct some research deep in the archives. If my mother knew the things I’d been snooping through…” He looked away quickly and Lina didn’t need him to finish the sentence.
She turned back to the telescope, her heart swelling at the sight of Earth. Home.
Even as she thought the word, it rang hollow. But she ignored that. She was just overwhelmed by the possibilities, she told herself.
“This is incredible,” she said. “If we know where it is, that just makes getting there easier.”
Bain offered a stiff nod, his hands clasped behind his back. “So, I suppose it would be too much to hope that you’ve changed your mind?” He sounded hesitant, like he was testing thin ice.
Lina didn’t know what to say. Her mouth dropped open for an immediate response, but the words died on her tongue.
“I’d thought as much. Can’t blame me for hoping, though.”
Lina frowned, so many more questions streaming through her head too fast for her to catch hold of them. Finally, she landed on one, the same one that hadn’t stopped nagging her for the last week.
“Where have you been?” she asked.
Bain’s lips pressed together in a thin line and he turned to the balcony railing, leaning against it. “My mother found out about the caverns and our plans to try to rebuild a spaceship. She… wasn’t happy. I’ve been treated to a never-ending task list ever since.”
Lina nodded. Suriah had warned her of as much the same night that she invited her to the party.
“But even before that… When we were in the cavern…”
His shoulders slumped as he exhaled a big sigh. “I know. I was terrible. I’m sorry, Lina. I was selfish and petulant. I knew before I it showed to you that you wanted to go home. I knew that. But when you confirmed it… I don’t know what it is between us, but you feel it too, don’t you? Like we’re two ends of a spring being pulled back to center?”
Lina gave him a small smile. “I think of it as magnets.”
He let out a mirthless chuckle and nodded. “Of course you would. But you do feel it… I can’t deny it Lina, and the thought of you going back, of leaving me after having discovered this… It just created this empty pit inside of me. Just the thought of not having you around makes me feel lonely and sad… It was unbearable. So, I was selfish and I just avoided you hoping that I could get used to it now. But I can’t. I’ve already had a taste and it wasn’t enough. I’m not sure it’ll ever be enough.”
She was leaning on the railing next to him, but now, Bain stood a little straighter and turned to face her, captivating her with his warm regard. She swallowed, her throat already dry, her voice all but gone.
“Maybe I’ll never have enough of you,” he said, his voice creeping down an octave, his breath teasing across her skin as he leaned in closer, his lips barely hovering above hers. “But this time without you has made me realize that I want to get as much as I can, while I can.”
She didn’t know what to say or what to do. The moment hung between them for what felt like eternity. Time stopped, as if waiting for her to make a decision. Her heart screamed one thing while her brain argued back, but it was finally her body that won out, deciding the argument for them as she rose up on her toes and kissed him without a thought.
Bain groaned, his arms encircling her waist, pulling her tight against him, deepening the kiss as her hands linked around the back of his neck.
And all over again she was floating or flying or whatever this weightless, carefree feeling was. It only happened when she was in the prince’s arms, but she never wanted it to end.
At some point, they had to breathe, though, and the kiss broke, leaving them both grinning and panting.
“So… even knowing it would make it more likely that I’d go back, you spent all this time finding my home planet?” she asked, the realization making her pulse skip faster.
He nodded. “Stupid isn’t it?”
She smiled. “Sweet is more like it.”
He shrugged. “Guess it doesn’t matter if it’s stupid or sweet. It’s not going to change anything. As much as I want you to feel like Mabnoa is your home, I can’t force it. But you will always be welcome here.”
“Thank you,” she said, her smile turning sad. “I do feel at home here, strangely. I mean… not all the time, but the way people have welcomed me, the job I’ve sort of stumbled into… I like being useful.”
Bain nodded, his hands still wrapped around her, not letting her go this time. “I’ve heard you’ve been working overtime to fix our old relics. I’ve had a couple things come to me because you fixed them and no one even knows what they’re for.”
Lina’s brows pushed together and her mouth slanted, incredulous. “Why would they even bring it to me if they didn’t know what it was for?”
He shrugged. “A challenge, I suppose. Word of your skills has gotten around, and I guess some people thought they’d test you. Apparently, you passed — and confounded them,” he said, shooting a beatific grin her way that sent warm, satisfied tingles all the way to her slippered toes.
“Serves them right,” she said, giggling.
“You’re not wrong,” he said, laughing too.
This was what she’d been dreaming about all this time. This return to their easy interactions. This feeling of boundless joy that sprang up whenever she was around Bain. And finally hearing how he felt — from the man himself, no less — only made the whole thing more wonderful. What she was feeling wasn’t one-sided.
But it also made it more terrible. Because she needed to tell him the last thing he wanted to hear.
Lina stepped backwards, forcing his arms to fall from around her. Instantly, his presence was missed, but she couldn’t let him distract her. Not now. She needed to tell him.
She took a deep breath and rushed the words out before she could overthink it and stop herself. “I think I’ve figured out the propulsion system,” she said in one breath.
And as predicted, Bain’s expression darkened and turned from sweet to sour. “Already?” He frowned. “I guess you’re really as talented as they say. I didn’t think you’d make so much progress so quickly.”
She danced from one foot to the other, unable to keep herself still. “Well, I’m not completely sure yet. I have a theory, but it’s not tested. And I wasn’t really making any progress at all until Farita came to me with Suriah’s music box. Fixing that was like a lightbulb moment, though. I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do.”
Despite his black expression, Lina got the feeling that Bain was truly happy for her, even if he was mourning his own loss. “Remind me to thank Farita for that later.”
Lina gave him a small, sad smile and reached for his hand, squeezing it. “Don’t blame her. It was bound to happen sometime.”
“I’d just hoped that sometime would be years from now, not days,” he said, and Lina almost thought she could hear his throat tightening with what sounded like emotion.
She squeezed his hand again, blinking back tears. Why was this so hard? She wanted to go home, but she didn’t. She wanted to stay here, but she didn’t. The choice was impossible. But she’d made it a long time ago and might as well stick to it since she was still on the fence about everything.
“I’m sorry,” she said, staring down at the floor.
Bain’s hand found her cheek, cupping her jaw as his thumb stroked over the ridge of her cheekbone. He moved in for another kiss and Lina held her breath in anticipation of the wonderful flying sensation she knew was coming, but a throat clearing in the doorway made them both jump.
“Er… Your Highness?” It was a uniformed guard, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes looking everywhere but at the pair of them, his face a particularly bright shade of crimson.
Bain took a step away from Lina and coughed. “Yes, Theo?”
“Your presence has been missed, sire.”
Bain’s expression fell and he nodded stiffly. “Ah, yes. Of course.” Turning to Lina he added, “My mother’s no doubt wondering what I’m up to.”
She nodded too, trying to manage a smile when all she felt was a sinking in her stomach. “You should get back to the party,” she said.
“Aren’t you coming?”
She should. She knew she should. But now, more than any other, seemed like a time to bury herself in her work and forget about all these confusing feelings and conflicting desires.
“I don’t think so,” she said, sinking further into the floor with Bain’s disappointed look. Quickly, she added, “I have a mountain of work to tackle at home and I think Surie’s got enough guests.”
“I’ll give her your regards,” he said, the words so formal she worried that he was upset with her again. But the guard had left after making his announcement, and now Bain leaned forward again, his forehead pressed to hers.
“Why is this so strong?” he asked, and Lina didn’t have to ask what he meant. Her heart beat so fast and wild that it seemed like it wanted to be in his chest instead of hers.
“I don’t know,” she said, equal parts entranced and worried. Why was it so strong? Why did they have this unshakable connection that sent her off-balance?
And how was she ever going to live without it?
His lips found hers in a soft, searching kiss. Barely a whisper of a touch, so light that when it was gone she wasn’t sure if it had really been there or if she’d only imagined it.
“You’re going home to work on the ship, aren’t you?” he asked, his voice broken and strained.
She didn’t answer. He already knew. But the look of betrayal in his eyes stung all the same.
He sighed. “I suppose there’s no use in trying to convince you anymore. Can I walk you to the door at least?”
“I’d like that,” she said smiling. At least with him accompanying her, she wouldn’t get lost on the way out of the maze-like palace.
He took her hand in his and led her away from the observatory like they were on a casual evening stroll together. But Lina didn’t need Bain to say anything to know that his heart was breaking as much as hers.
By the time they reached the front door, neither of them had said anything, though he went slowly enough to let her marvel at the things Farita had rushed her past.
“I’m glad you came tonight,” Bain said, his eyes shimmering and warm even though there was still something lurking in their depths. Something painful. Lina swallowed. She felt that way too. How could something feel so amazing — so right — and still hurt so much?
“Me too. You should come check out my place sometime. Your mom set me up with a cozy little apartment by the gardens.”
“How’s tomorrow?” he asked, leaning on the doorway, not paying any attention to the guards. His hand shot out to rest on her hip and Lina took a step closer to him, wanting to melt into the warmth of his embrace all over again.
“Tomorrow sounds great,” she said, smiling. She’d need to go to sleep at a reasonable hour unless she wanted him to find her asleep on her workbench with vent lines on her face.
“Until then,” he said softly, pulling her in for another quick kiss.
“Goodnight,” said Lina, her voice soft and dreamy. He had that effect on her and it never seemed to go away.
“Goodnight.” His eyes lingered on her and heat rose up from deep inside to color her cheeks.
“Baaaaain!” Someone called from far above their heads. “Where is my brother?”
Lina stifled a giggle. “I’m not sure it was your mother who wondered where you were.”
Bain grinned and rolled his eyes, that devil-may-care look she’d grown so accustomed to now gracing his features. It was much better than his sad and broken look. She preferred his reckless arrogance and fun-seeking attitude.
She perched on her toes and placed another kiss on his cheek before she left the palace and the party behind and headed home to work on her pile.