Once she was home, she started quickly piling things into a sack that she could carry on her shoulders. The parts she needed to complete the rebuild, the necessary tools, and some of her favorite clothes she’d received as gifts in her time here.
She hastily stuffed everything she could fit into the bag, hoping no one would stop her on her retreat. The queen seemed serious about keeping her here and Lina couldn’t let that happen. She needed to get out while she still could — assuming she could. She still hadn’t put any of her theories to the test. The ship might not even work the way she thought it might. And if it didn’t, then what? No way was the queen going to let her keep working on it and studying it…
“Lina?” a voice came through the door with a knock and she froze.
Bain.
They were supposed to meet this morning… how could she forget? But the party last night, the kiss, their declarations… it seemed like months ago now. Things had been infinitely simpler before his mother made her concerns known.
He knocked again when she didn’t answer.
“Yeah,” she called, not moving to the door, not answering it, still rummaging through her drawers for anything she wanted to take home with her.
“Hope I’m not too earl— Hey, what’s going on?” He went from chipper and excited to confused and concerned in a matter of moments.
“I don’t have time to talk about it,” she answered, shoving another dress in the bag.
“Planning a trip?” It sounded like he was trying to make a joke, but Lina just stopped what she was doing and held his gaze for a long moment.
“You are, aren’t you? You’re leaving. Now? Why now?”
Lina slumped, her frantic packing stopping for a minute. How could she even explain it to him? There was too much to say.
Bain’s hand found her arm and that gentle touch made her breath hitch, her chest tightening as the rickety pile of emotions came tumbling down. She opened her mouth to speak, though she didn’t have any idea what she wanted to say, but only a tiny strangled squeak of a sob broke through.
“Hey, hey,” Bain said, his voice soft as he wrapped her in his arms and sank to her bed, pulling her against his chest. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Is this about me?”
Lina clung to him, sitting half in his lap and not even caring. His arms around her felt so good, so right, and this was the last time she’d feel them. She wrapped her arms around him and held on like he was a life raft in stormy seas. How could she do this without him?
Under her ear, his heart beat a steady rhythm and his chest rose and fell with each breath as he stroked her hair and muttered soothing nonsense sounds.
“It’s not you,” she finally choked out.
“Well, that’s a relief,” he said. When she looked up at him he was smiling, and she managed to return the smile, forcing away a bit of the darkness.
“But your mom…”
“Oh,” he said. “She’s finally said something to you about our plans, huh? I thought keeping me occupied and away from you was all she’d have to say on the matter.”
Lina sniffled and wiped her eyes, feeling foolish. “She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want me working on the ship or leaving the planet. Ever.”
“Ah,” said Bain, his spine stiffening. “And you’re still determined?”
“If I don’t go now, I might never have the chance again. You didn’t hear her… I think she’ll do whatever it takes to stop me. She really thinks me leaving could endanger everyone.”
“Does she?”
Lina frowned. Why wasn’t he jumping to her defense? Why wasn’t he saying how unreasonable his mother was being? Why was he being so reserved and distant?
“Y-yes,” she said hesitantly. “She… Well, she told me why you have to stay isolated.”
His eyes went wide now and his arms fell, leaving Lina feeling strange still clinging to him. She let go too, and moved to sit next to him on the bed, the distance between them already growing with the passing seconds.
“Did she really?” he asked.
She nodded.
Bain stood and shoved his hands through his thick hair. “That’s huge, Lina. Even I don’t know that history. I’m forbidden to until it’s me on the throne. If the queen told you… she must really trust and believe in you. She must believe that you’ll make the right choice.”
“The right choice for who, though?” Lina snapped, her eyes narrowing. “Despite how much any of you try to convince me, I’m not one of you.”
His brows lifted even higher. “What are you talking about?”
Lina waved her hands dismissively. “Ever since I got here, everyone’s been trying to convince me that I’m like you. That I belong here. But just because I’m tiny and can make plants grow doesn’t mean—”
“You can do what now?” he interrupted.
Lina huffed and rolled her eyes. “Your mom. I don’t know. Maybe it was a trick or something. I had my eyes closed, but I made some leaves grow? I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Lina… It has everything to do with everything! Don’t you see? You are one of us.” Bain was getting more excitable now, pacing around the room, his voice getting louder. “I mean… I always thought… but this definitely means… wow. But where did you even come from? No one’s ever sent a baby away from Mabnoa…” He didn’t really look at her now, and Lina wasn’t even sure he remembered she was there with the way he threatened to wear down her floorboards with his pacing.
“Yeah… Your mom has a theory on that too, but I guess I can’t tell you.”
“No, I suppose you can’t. But this is big. This is bigger than big. You belong here. Not as a guest, but as a member of our society… our family.”
It was the heat in his last words that caught Lina’s attention and brought her back from the frenzy she’d been falling into again. He took her hands in his and she stood with him as his hands fell to her hips and pulled her closer to him.
“What’re you…” she started, but the look in Bain’s eyes silenced her.
“From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew there was something special about you. I knew that you belonged by my side, in my life. It felt strange at first, to have those strong feelings for someone I didn’t know, but I know you now, and those feelings haven’t diminished at all. They’ve only grown stronger. And I can’t imagine my life without you. I know it may not seem like it, but my mother telling you those things was her way of giving us her blessing, I think. Not that I need my mother’s blessing, but it certainly doesn’t hurt when she’s the queen…”
Lina could hardly focus on what he was saying with the way her heart thundered in her chest and the way her brain felt like it was full of cotton. It was the way he looked at her that did it. He meant every word he said, and his eyes were mesmerizing. She was falling and floating all at once and just wanted to agree to anything he said to make him happy.
She could be happy here. She could. She’d already carved out a niche for herself with the repairs. And she had to admit she enjoyed the parties. She enjoyed her friendships with Suriah and Farita. She didn’t want to imagine going back to her previous, lonely life without them.
And she liked the sunshine. She still couldn’t believe that she’d helped the tree branch grow, but she liked that too. She liked feeling connected finally, something that had always been missing in her life.
And she liked Bain. Maybe more than liked. She liked the idea of spending more time with him, having him by her side at those confusing-yet-entertaining functions, and growing old with him. But was she getting ahead of herself?
“What are you saying?”
He smiled, then bent to kiss her, taking his time, starting off slow, just the tiniest of embers glowing between them, but his kiss was unrelenting, unhurried, but purposeful. He fanned that tiny ember until it was blazing hot and Lina didn’t ever want to let him go.
“Stay,” he said. “Be with me. You can come live in the palace, if you want, or stay here if you want. It doesn’t matter, but don’t go, Lina. One day I’m going to need a queen and I can’t imagine her being anyone else.”
It sounded too good to be true. It had to be too good to be true. Her, queen? She hardly knew anything about the Mabnoans’ way of life. But if her morning chat had been any indication, it seemed Queen Neara wouldn’t have any problem with educating her.
And staying with Bain sounded like a dream come true. She didn’t want to leave him anymore than she wanted to put this place in danger. Bain said the queen had told her about the Fibbuns because she trusted her to make the right choice. This was the choice he meant, and she knew which was the “right” choice, but was it? It certainly felt right. Especially with Bain’s kiss still tingling on her lips and her heart still racing at the thought of it.
After the silence had stretched for a minute too long, he said, “Please make me the happiest man alive? Stay with me.”
Lina nibbled her bottom lip and her gaze drifted from the hopefulness in his bright green eyes to the full, inviting shape of his lips. She just wanted to kiss him again without making the choice, but she knew he was waiting as patiently as he could.
She couldn’t think looking him in the eyes like that. She just wanted to blurt out whatever would make him give her that heart-stopping grin. But that was no way to make such important decisions. Her eyes wandered around her apartment, strewn with her things after the hasty packing. She landed on an open drawer and a flash of reflected light that caught her attention.
Extracting herself from his welcoming embrace, Lina went to the drawer and pulled out the diode Mom had given her years ago. Now it was the only thing she had left of Earth and of Mom. Her throat tightened at the same time her fist did.
“I can’t,” she finally said. “I want to, but I can’t. I have to go back to my mother. She has to know I’m okay.”
Bain looked like someone stuck him with a pin and let all the air out. His shoulders sagged and he hung his head before giving her the tiniest, almost imperceptible nod. “I understand.”
“Bain… I’m so sorry. I want to be with you… I just… I can’t.”
He nodded again and swallowed, looking like he was trying desperately not to cry. Or maybe that was just her.
“Well then, I guess we shouldn’t waste any more time,” he said firmly, his posture straightening with a new resolve.
“What?”
“You didn’t think I was going to let you do this alone, did you? I’ve seen you this far. But we’ll probably need Surie’s help.”
“We will?”
Bain grinned. “Oh, for sure. Based on what you’ve told me, I’m going to guess my mother’s set up guards on the path to the caverns. Distracting guards is Suriah’s favorite pastime… maybe second only to eating sweets. She’d be furious if we left her out.”
“Wouldn’t want that,” Lina teased with a smirk. She couldn’t believe he was still going to help her leave after everything. She expected him to be angry, to keep trying to convince her, maybe even to sabotage her escape by telling his mother, but to help her? That’s not what she expected and was just one more thing she loved about him.
He chuckled. “Nope. You may not have to deal with the aftermath, but if my mother is going to have me drawn and quartered, I’d at least rather have Suriah on my side than egging her on.”
Lina’s eyes went wide, her mouth dropping in horrified shock. “She wouldn’t really do that, would she?”
Bain laughed. “My sister isn’t exactly the most compassionate person in the trees.”
“No, your mother. She wouldn’t actually have you drawn and quartered, would she?”
His laughter died down, but the smile didn’t go anywhere. He stepped toward her and laced his fingers through her hair, cupping the side of her face as he went in for another kiss.
“Even if she would, it wouldn’t discourage me from helping you. But no. Unfortunately for my mother, there’s nothing she can really threaten me with other than more responsibilities which will be mine to take one day anyway. She’s got very little in the way of bargaining chips.”
Lina felt his smile all the way to the very center of her being and couldn’t stop herself from returning it. “So you’ll really do it? You’ll help me get home even after…”
His lips captured hers another time and lingered there, as if begging the moment to last a little while longer.
“I would do anything to make you happy. And yes, even if it’s securing my own misery.”
Her heart broke a little at that, but she couldn’t dwell on it too long. They had more important things to tend to.
Bain seemed to realize that too and pulled himself away. “Alright, I’ll go fetch Suriah and we’ll meet you at the base of the great tree, sound good?”
Lina hesitated; even now her heart was telling her to call it off and stay, to never leave his side. But the diode in her hand squeezed her insides and made that impossible. No matter how badly she wanted it, she just couldn’t stay. She just needed to imagine how happy Mom would be to see her again. She’d probably cry all over the place and Lina would have to dodge her big sloppy tears. She’d probably smile and laugh and swear to never let Lina out of her sight again…
For a moment, that thought brought a smile to Lina’s face, but then the thought of being locked away like some precious piece of china only made her sad for all the things she’d be missing out on.
Still, she’d dwelled on it long enough. The decision had already been made.
“Yes, perfect.” She perched up on her toes and kissed him goodbye as he sprinted out of her apartment. That little gesture was so natural and effortless. How had they come so far in such a short time? Her fingertips came up to touch her still-tingling lips, and a bittersweet smile came with a fresh mist of tears, though she never let them fall.
Instead, she took a deep steadying breath and finished packing her bags.