Watching the horrors of his past had very little effect on Tex. He lived through it, so nothing he saw was a surprise, but watching Carleen squeeze her eyes shut and cling to him as it flashed before her tore at his soul. He wanted to stop it from happening but there was nothing he could do. All mates went through this to some degree. With Elders, it was more complete. Elder mates needed to know everything about each other so nothing could ever be used against them. Some might experience it in smaller doses. Unfortunately for Carleen, the bond between them was too strong and he’d already pulled her into his flashbacks. Now she was forced to witness his life unfold before her very eyes.

“No…” A moan tore through her and her body shook violently against his.

He cuddled her against his body, holding her tight enough that she knew she wasn’t alone. All he could do was wait for it to pass. “Peaches, I’m here. You’re not there. Focus on my voice.”

Her fingers dug into his chest, digging deep enough that blood seeped from the grooves. Rubbing his hand along her back, he stayed focused on her, doing what little he could to comfort her. Pressing his lips to the top of her head, he took in her scent, letting her sweet aroma of fresh peaches keep his attention so he wouldn’t focus on the torture that was playing out before them right now. The pain of the scalding oil as it landed on his arms was something he couldn’t deny. It happened in the past, but he could feel it now as if it was happening again.

“We’re almost done.” He rolled toward her, pressing the front of their bodies together, intertwining their legs and wrapping both arms around her. Resting his head on the pillow above her, he kept his face pressed against the top of her head. His lips brushed along her hairline, planting soft kisses there.

“No!” She tried to pull away, but he held her tight. “Please…you can’t…die…”

“Shh, Carleen. It’s going to be fine.” His eyelids drifted shut and he could see himself lying on the same stone slab he was on when Avery whipped him with the burning rope. Only this time there were burns up and down his arms and legs from where Avery had splashed hot oil before finally slicing his throat. As he choked on his own blood and fear filled his eyes, he realized Avery was smirking. Everyone from the clan knew Avery got off on the torture, but until that moment Tex hadn’t realized what an impact it had on his former Alpha.

At the time, he had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t looked at Avery. While lying there and bleeding out, he thought the end was finally coming. A mixture of emotions poured through him, the strongest being sadness that there was so much he hadn’t done and relief knowing that Avery’s torture was over, at least for him. When he was finally unstrapped from the slab, he almost allowed himself the pleasure of slipping away.

Don’t you die on me. I need you. Autumn and Summer need you. Damn it, we all need you. Ben’s words echoed through the room, reminding him of the reason he forced himself to shift and heal. He wanted to give in to the blood loss and the pain and allow it to carry him off to his death, but there were people counting on him. People he couldn’t leave behind. Ben was his best friend and partner on guard duty. They needed each other to survive.

“Tex.” She called his name as he was shoved into one of the small rooms in the tunnel. Alone in that room, he spent weeks without any human contact, driving him nearly insane. “Tex?”

“I’m here.” Placing his hand on the side of her face, he wiped away the tear before it could roll down her cheek. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Wrapping her arm around his back, she clung to him.

“It brought me to you and that’s what matters.” He leaned back to look at her. “It’s not over yet.”

“The worst is.” She opened her eyes to meet his gaze. “Watching everything play out in front of me and not being able to do anything to help you was torture. My past might not be sunshine and roses, but it’s not like what you went through. It won’t faze you.”

Before he was able to reply, the second part of the mating connection flooded toward them. Even though it wasn’t as overpowering as the first, he was thankful for that moment of reprieve, allowing him to comfort her.

Moments later, the rest of the mating ritual was over and they were connected on every level. Each of their pasts had been witnessed and there were no secrets between them. She remained cuddled against him, holding him tight. On one level, that surprised him. After everything she’d witnessed, she still wanted to be there with him and none of it had changed how she perceived him. When he looked back at his past, he cursed himself for being weak. He should have done something, fought back against his former Alpha long before he stood with Ty and the others as they brought Avery down.

“You protected the others and that took courage.” She ran her hand up his chest. “The tortures you endured proved you’re not weak.”

“I was too afraid to stand up to him. That’s weakness.”

“No, Tex, that’s self-preservation. If you’d have gotten yourself killed, the torture your clan went through would still be happening. You not only protected them when you could, you saved them when you had the opportunity. That’s why they follow you now.”

Unsure what to say, he caressed her side with his fingers, moving in lazy strokes. The doubts and regrets within him that he kept concealed from everyone else could no longer be hidden from her. Their connection opened her to that part of him even if he wanted to keep it hidden. He wanted to protect her from anything that could harm her, but there was no protection from that side of him.

“I guess I should be thankful you’re not arguing with me.” She cocked her head up from where it rested on his arm and looked up at him.

“A smart man knows better than to argue with his mate.” He shot her a halfhearted grin.

“I wish it was because you realized I’m right, but I’ll take that at least. In time, I’ll prove it to you.” Sliding her hand between their bodies and down his chest she eased lower until she was brushing against his manhood.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” As her fingers wrapped around him, his shaft responded, growing hard under her touch. “Tomorrow you’re leaving for Texas, so we need to make the most of this time.”

“You’re coming with me.” He arched his hips toward her. “My mate goes where I go.”

“I never said I wasn’t.” Teasingly, she dragged her hand up and down his length. “I should have said we’re leaving for Texas. But the point is still the same. The members know you’re here recruiting but some are leery of adding new people to the clan, especially new guards in a position of power. You’re going to be busy and before you correct me, you should realize that they’ll be suspicious of me, too. Your mate or not, I’m an outsider. I’m going to have to prove myself to them and I will, but it won’t happen overnight. Too much of this transition is going to fall on you. I’ll help where I can, but I don’t want to push them.”

“You’re underestimating them. They’re going to love you. But you’re right, we’re going to be busy, so there’s no reason why we can’t take a little more time for ourselves now.” He leaned into her, his lips brushing against hers. “I’m going to make love to you, then we’re going to pack your stuff up for tomorrow and you’re coming back to my cabin. I’m not sure if sleep is on the agenda, but I want you with me and if I want to make you purr my name again, I don’t want Thorn listening.”

“Having Rhett listening is so much better.” She rolled her eyes. “I think you’re going to be stuck waiting until we’re back in Texas.”

“I’ll kick him out.” He rolled her onto her back and hovered above her. “He can stay here with Thorn. Hell, I don’t care where he stays as long as we’re alone together.”

Kissing along her collarbone, he worked his way up her neck as her fingers trailed along the sides of his chest. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too, sweetie.” His cell phone rang, making him dip his head in defeat. “Shit.”

“Get it. I understand.”

“No, you don’t.” He reached over the side of the bed and snatched his jeans off the floorboard. As he pulled the cell phone out of his pocket, he caught sight of the number, recognizing it immediately. He cursed his luck. Just as he expected. “You didn’t have a secure cell phone, so I told Mason to give him this number.”

“Who?”

“Your father.” He held the phone out to her. “I knew you’d want to talk to him, so Mason gave him this number and told him to call you when he had things under control. Jack has his hands full and unless we wanted to make things more complicated for him, it was best to leave the ball in his court. Plus, I didn’t want you getting hurt.”

“I don’t know what to say to him.”

“You both lost someone you loved. You’re feeling guilty because you encouraged Lucy to accept the mating, but imagine what Jack is going through. Lucy took her own life to save his. The guilt he’s carrying will be with him for the rest of his life. The two of you need each other now. You can ease each other’s pain, but more than that, you’re his only living daughter. He’ll want to reestablish that connection with you.” He pressed the phone into her hand. “Talk to him. The words will come when you need them and I’ll be here.”

* * *

Putting off the call with her father would only make Carleen more apprehensive of the whole conversation. Even though she wasn’t in Mississippi, she still felt guilty about what had happened. How bad had things gotten once she and Thorn left? What torment had Lee put Lucy and her father through because they’d abandoned the clan? Accepting the call might give her answers she wasn’t sure she was ready for. Dragging her bottom lip between her teeth, she pressed a button and brought the phone to her ear. “Dad?”

“Zoom, it’s so good to hear your voice.” There was a heaviness in his tone that she’d never heard before. She couldn’t remember a time where he showed any sign of emotion other than anger.

“You too, Dad. I’ve missed you.” She leaned back on the pillows and let her eyelids close to hide the tears welling in her eyes.

Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how much she missed her father. Their relationship had been rough for so many years, but when her mother passed away he seemed to become a different man. They formed a bond and she clung to the new relationship because she knew their time together would be short. One day she’d mate, and he hoped the mating would force her to leave the clan, giving her a freedom she didn’t have there. Against both of their wishes the bond grew stronger, bringing them closer than she was with Uncle Ethan.

“When Mason gave me the number, he didn’t tell me much except this was the Alpha of the Texas Tiger’s cell phone and the best way to reach you. Last I heard from my contact, you and Thorn were in Alaska. Imagine my surprise to learn you’re in Texas. Is Thorn with you? Have you committed to this Alpha?” Concern laced his voice as the questions rushed at her. She wondered if he was concerned their conversation might be cut short, or that she could be in danger.

“Everything’s fine.” Without opening her eyes, she reached forward, quickly finding Tex’s hand. “We’re still in Alaska, but tomorrow we’re going to Texas.”

“Are you sure about that? You can come home. It’s safe now.”

“I’ll come visit.” Opening her eyes, she found Tex nodding. “Thorn will come with me, too. But we can’t come back…well, I can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t? Zoom, are you in some kind of trouble? Is someone forcing you to go to Texas?”

“Tell him,” Tex urged.

“Who’s that?” her father demanded before she could say anything. “Answer me. Who’s there with you?”

“Everything is fine. The Alpha of the Texas Tigers, Tex, is here. He’s…umm…” Her breath caught in her throat. “My mate.”

“Oh, Carleen.” A roar resonated through the phone, quickly followed by a loud bang as if something had crashed to the floor.

“Dad, it’s not like that. Tex is a good man. You’d approve of him.”

“Where’s Thorn? I want to speak with him.”

“He’s not here now, but I can have him call you later. Thorn is going through another training session before we leave tomorrow. Tex wants to make sure he’s ready for his new role.” She didn’t expand on Thorn’s new position mostly because Thorn didn’t even know Tex planned to have him as the Captain of her Guards. If her brother decided not to accept the position, she wasn’t even sure he’d stay. For all she knew, he’d end up going back to Mississippi. He could be a great ally to their father, but for her own selfish reasons she wanted him with her. He had always watched out for her and the idea of going to Texas without him was unnerving.

“He’s supposed to be keeping you safe.”

“He has. Trust me, he wasn’t happy about this mating either, but it’s my destiny—”

“We saw what destiny had in store for Lucy. Shit, Zoom, I wanted better for you.”

“Even if you had the opportunity to hand-select my mate from all the men on the planet, I don’t think you could have picked anyone better for me.” She squeezed Tex’s hand. Not out of sympathy but to remind him of their solidarity. They were in this together and she wouldn’t change it. “We’ll visit soon and you’ll see. This is different from Lucy’s mating.”

“I don’t want to see you miserable like she was.”

“This is different.” Not knowing how to convince him of that, she stated the same thing again as she interlaced her fingers with Tex’s. “Lucy knew Lee wasn’t different, but I wouldn’t listen to her. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut, she wouldn’t have lived through torment the last few years. Dad, she’s finally free. Please take my word for it. Tex isn’t like Lee.”

“You can’t be sure. Lucy wasn’t.”

“She was. She just hid it from all of us until it was too late. She didn’t want us to know. She was scared of what you and Thorn would do.” Her sister had always been more concerned about everyone else around her. Even after Lee claimed her, she tried to protect them from what was happening behind closed doors, except she couldn’t hide the bruises or her shaved head.

“I should have killed Lee years ago,” he snapped. “She’d still be alive if I’d done it when I should have.”

“You don’t know that. None of us know what life would be like if we’d taken a different split in the road. We don’t get to go back and make a change to the path we’ve chosen. All we can do is make the best of the choices we’ve made.” In her mind, she could see her father standing there in their small house, surrounded by all the memories of the life they lived. For the first time, it dawned on her that he was alone. She needed to talk to Thorn and find out what he wanted to do. Maybe instead of going to Texas, he wanted to return home. It would change Tex’s plan for her protection, but then her father would have help. Tex could promote someone else as the Captain of her Guards.

“The choices we think are right at the time often turn out to be the ones that cost us the most.” He let out a deep breath, groaning. “After I ordered Thorn to get you out of there, Lucy had a spark in her eye that I hadn’t seen in years. She was happy knowing you were somewhere safe and out of Lee’s reach. When she came to me about eliminating Lee, we went over the possibilities. We knew the risks we were taking and I realized I might lose her, but it’s what she wanted. She wanted to be free from him, even if that meant only in death.”

“I think she always knew her only way of escaping Lee was through death. She’s at peace and the clan is free. That’s what she wanted.”

“You don’t understand. I failed her.” The pain in his voice had her fingers tightening around the comforter. The guilt would plague him for the rest of his life, just as her own did.

“I know what happened.” Mason’s words flooded back to her, painting the picture before her eyes again. “She did what she had to. She saved your life, and she saved everyone. Dad, you didn’t fail anyone. Lee was cheating and she knew what it would mean if he survived. I have no doubt she was prepared to die from the moment she opened the door for you. If she could have survived Lee’s death, facing life without her mate would have been one thing but continuing without you and knowing what torture awaited her…she couldn’t face that. You were the clan’s one shot and she wasn’t going to allow that to pass them by.”

“Someone stronger should have taken it then. Someone younger,” her father snapped.

“You were the clan’s best shot at defeating him and you know it. This isn’t about your age or strength. Lee was cheating,” she reminded him again. “What matters now if that you turn the clan into what Lucy wanted. Turn things around and don’t let her death be a waste. Make sure she lives on within the clan.”

“Jack, we’re ready,” a deep voice called, but she couldn’t make out who it was.

“Zoom, Ethan’s here. I need to go. We’re meeting to get our guard rotations up and running.”

“Give Uncle Ethan my love. I’m proud of you both. I know you two can turn the clan back into something amazing.” Part of her wished she could be there to see the changes, but she was happy with what was happening between her and Tex.

Within twenty-four hours, they’d be in Texas and she’d have her work cut out for her as she got the clan to accept her as Alpha Female. The near future would hold a visit to Mississippi, but until then, they both had things requiring their attention. In a couple of months, she was sure her father would have the clan on the path to success just as Tex had done with the Texas Tigers.