CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Amelia
I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. I knew I would be leaving here in a few hours. I was just in a space where I had no idea what to do next.
I know now what Carson really thinks of me.
He thought I was someone he could use and discard. Whoever was in his life at the moment was clearly far more important to him than I was. I had no idea how to deal with this. What could I say to him? That I knew about Leona? The thing was, he wasn’t actually hiding it. I had heard him on the phone. I heard him not even hide what he felt for whoever this was.
I should confront him about it.
That would be the adult thing to do, I knew. But I wasn’t feeling like an adult right now. I was feeling like a hurt, miserable kid. All I wanted to do was sit down on my bed and cry. I had to pack, I had to say my farewells. I had to pull myself together. But I couldn’t.
I sat down on my bed and cried. “Carson.”
How could you do this? Don’t you know how much I love you?
I was still sniffing when a knock sounded on the door. I stiffened. “Who’s there?”
“It’s me,” a small voice replied. “Cayley.”
“Oh!” I sniffed, checking my face hurriedly in the mirror. My hair was a mess, but I hadn’t been crying heavily enough for it to show too much. I blew my nose quickly. “Come in!”
Cayley appeared round the door and looked at me solemnly. “You’re going away,” she said flatly.
“I know I am, sweetheart,” I said gently. “But I won’t be away for long, really I won’t.”
“I know,” Cayley said softly. She came and sat next to me on the bed, her hand on mine. My throat closed up as she looked up at me. “You’re sad.”
I had to cough to be able to answer her round the pain in my throat. “I’m okay, sweetie.”
“No, you’re not. You’re sad. I can see you are.”
I swallowed hard. “Yes, I am.” There was no point in lying to such a perceptive kid.
“Whatever it is, it isn’t the end of the world,” she said solemnly.
I couldn’t speak, so I nodded.
“Can I ask what it is?” she asked softly.
“It’s…it’s nothing.”
“I thought I heard you say something about Carson,” Cayley said honestly, taking my breath away. I hadn’t realized I’d spoken.
“Did I?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“Yes,” Cayley nodded. “Whatever it is, I don’t think he meant it.”
“He knew it, though,” I sniffed. “He knew he and Leona…” I stopped. What was I doing? This little girl had enough to think about in her own life without me burdening her. And if I told her, there was an outside chance she would tell Reese, or Brett. Why shouldn’t she, after all?
“Leona?” she asked, mildly questioning.
“I’m sorry, Cayley,” I sighed. “Please forget I said anything.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised.
I hugged her. How was it possible that one small child could be so wise? I didn’t deserve so much love from one so young. “Oh, Cayley,” I said warmly. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too,” she said gently.
We sat quietly for a while, then she stood. “I should go,” she said firmly.
“I suppose so,” I agreed. “I need to pack. I’m leaving at six.”
“Okay, auntie,” she said. She kissed me on the wrist and walked off. I sighed.
If only all of us had as much emotional intelligence as these kids do.
I sighed again and reached across for my suitcase. I did have to pack. I couldn’t just sit here caught in my sadness.
“Amelia?” I heard another knock on my door. This time it was my brother.
“Mm?” I asked. “Come in—I’m wearing clothes.”
Brett stuck his head round the door. “Oh yes. So you are. I just wanted to say I’m going to the store quickly if you need something? I think Reese is having her hair cut or something. Josh is in the attic with his racing cars. Carson is…I don’t know where, now I think of it.”
Good, I thought woodenly.
“I don’t need anything, Brett,” I said gently. “Thanks, though. I hope you’ll be back soon,” I added, checking my watch. It was 3:00 p.m.
“Of course I will, Mel,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t miss saying goodbye for anything.”
“Good.”
I waved as he left and carried on packing. My work was all done when I had another interruption.
Someone knocked on my door. It sounded urgent.
“Hello?” I called, my blood cold. What if it’s him? What do I say?
But it wasn’t. “Auntie!” Cayley called. “Come quick!”
I dropped my purse on the bed. “What?” I said, worried. I ran and opened the door. “What happened?”
“Auntie! We need some help! It’s Josh!”
I didn’t even think about it. I just ran.