Kevin
What do you do when you get everything you want? Stand around like a moron, of course.
The drive had flown by, and while we were in the car, getting to the hotel had seemed like a long way off, but now that we were there, it felt like everything was happening too quickly. It wasn’t that I wasn’t all for getting naked with Jeremy because I was more than ready. I think it was because I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, or if I would suck at it.
My only experience with sex stuff was porn and playing with myself in the shower. Porn was obviously not real, but would what felt good in the shower feel even better with Jeremy, or would it be weird?
It had all seemed perfect in the car, natural. Like we were finally doing what we were meant to—loving each other. Now it seemed huge. Sex was like this looming thing hanging over us. I wanted it; I really did. There was no conflict in my mind about that. It was such a huge step that I didn’t know what to do first.
I was fine until Jeremy had me wait in the car while he went into the hotel to get a room for the night. My paranoid sexy nut thought it would be best if the hotel only saw one young guy checking in instead of two in case my mother started calling around or something. Paranoid. But there was a chance he might not be crazy, so I didn’t argue with him.
Leaving me alone gave me too much time to start worrying. Would I know what to do? How to touch him? Please him? Would we jump in bed as soon as we walked in the door, or were there, like, rules for this stuff? I wasn’t sure.
I wanted it to be perfect. Well, as perfect as a first time with anal could be. I’d done enough research to have realistic expectations about that, and I knew I wanted to bottom the first time, but that was as far as I’d planned. I was more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy, and I was coming to regret that. Planning this in more detail would have probably been a good idea.
By the time Jeremy had come back from the front desk, I was a bit of a wreck. He had to have known I was getting worked up again because when he climbed into the car, he leaned over and gave me a long kiss. When he pulled back, he gave me the sweetest look before whispering, “It will be fine, promise.”
Walking through the hotel was a great distraction because it was cool. It was big and fancy and almost looked like some kind of resort.
“Can we afford this?”
I knew he’d saved up and had the money organized. but I wasn’t expecting anything like this. Jeremy blushed a little but tried to sound relaxed and cool.
“It’s just one night; it’ll be fine. I wanted something nice for tonight.”
That brought my nerves back in full force. He wanted us to have a nice hotel for our first time. It was sweet as hell, but it made every worry seem even bigger. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I reached out and took his hand.
It was easier than I expected to get used to being able to touch him in public. Just doing things like holding his hand or touching his arm were things I wouldn’t have done before. It was nice. I kind of thought it would be hard to go from acting like brothers to lovers, but it was natural. I guess it was because we’d been holding back from what we wanted to do for so long, we were finally getting to act like ourselves and not who we thought we should be.
We were both quiet as the elevator took us up to the fifth floor. By the time we walked into the room, with the large king-sized bed, and a Jacuzzi tub in the corner, I couldn’t figure out what to do. I ended up standing around looking like a moron.
Jeremy took my backpack from me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before pushing me in the direction of the bathroom. “Go get a shower. Just relax, and take your time.”
He gave me another quick kiss, this time on the nose. I winced, but he laughed when I grumbled. “I’m not a puppy or something.”
I got another shove toward the bathroom. “Go! It’s been a long day, and you need to calm down. Remember, nothing’s going to happen that we don’t want.”
“That’s kind of what I’m worried about, duh.”
His laugh had a naughty sound. “Oh, someone’s got a dirty imagination then—to be this worried.”
“Jeremy!”
“Go get a shower, sexy, and relax.”
Okay, maybe he was right. I was getting worked up over nothing. Even though he hadn’t exactly said it, I knew that was kind of what he was saying. Yes, this was important and special, but I loved him, and he loved me—that was what mattered. Everything else would be fine. Even if I sucked the first time, it wasn’t like we couldn’t practice. Practice makes perfect, right?
The bathroom was as nice as the rest of the room. It was big and open with a huge shower with two different shower heads. Everything was white and sparkly; it was the fanciest place we’d ever been to.
I fiddled with the shower for a few minutes before I got it to turn on only one of the heads. Turning on both seemed a little stupid for just me, and I was short enough that I was afraid of ending up looking like a drowned rat with both on. Stripping down, I looked in the mirror while the water heated up.
My body didn’t look that bad. I was short compared to Jeremy, but I thought I was kind of cute. Lean muscles and a great ass gave me confidence that I wouldn’t look stupid. Besides, I reminded myself, he’d already seen me without my clothes on because of the whole towel thing and that hadn’t scared him off. Nope, he didn’t mind the way I looked naked. I grinned, remembering the expression on his face.
Feeling a little better about everything, I walked over and climbed into the shower. The water was hot, and the pressure was so hard it pounded into me. Heaven. I don’t know how long I stood under the water feeling the soothing spray, but eventually, I knew I had to get cleaned up and out of it.
Thinking about what was coming, I cleaned up as thoroughly as I could. Leaving as fast as we did meant I couldn’t do everything I’d planned on doing for my first time, but I did pretty good. I giggled to myself—maybe I was a bit of a planner too.
When I finally got out of the shower, I was relaxed and starting to get excited. Just thinking about touching Jeremy had my cock hardening, and by the time I was dry and ready to leave the bathroom, I was on my way to fully erect.
Wrapping the towel around my waist gave me a flashback to walking into our bedroom with just that small towel draped around my hips. I was never going to forget the look on Jeremy’s face. Tonight was going to be the same way. I knew it was going to be a night we would never forget.
It took me a few more minutes to work up the nerve to leave the bathroom. Not as many as it had the first time, so I was pretty proud of myself. I was expecting to see Jeremy watching TV or planning things for tomorrow, but it was nothing like I’d thought.
Jeremy had somehow managed to turn the impersonal room into something special and romantic. There were flowers on the dresser and the nightstand, and the only light came from little candles that were set up around the room. He was laying on the bed—shirt and shoes gone—lit up by the warm light.
“How?”
He smiled, enjoying my shock. “They have a little store downstairs, and the girl behind the desk is a bit of a romantic. It only took a few hints about needing to make tonight special before she helped me with the flowers and candles. I know we left kind of fast, and I wanted tonight to be nice for you. For both of us.”
It made my chest hurt, and I had to swallow around a lump in my throat. He’d gone to so much trouble. It was so sweet. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Jeremy’s words were tender, but his expression looked anything but. I could almost feel it when his gaze raked over my chest and narrowed in on the towel. Was he thinking about the last time I dropped it?
This time I wasn’t going to try and be subtle and pretend I didn’t want him to look. No, this time I needed him to know how much I desired him. This time I longed for him to touch me and to do everything he’d been fantasizing about before. This time I wasn’t going to just tease.
I started walking over to the bed, but I tightened the towel a bit so it showed off how hard I was for him. He needed to know that no matter how nervous I was, I wanted this. I wanted him. I didn’t need there to be any questioning that.
Jeremy watched me, and I felt a little like prey being stalked by a hunter. It made my nipples tighten, and a shiver raced up my spine. I loved the look on his face. He wasn’t hiding how much he wanted me, and he wasn’t pretending he didn’t need me. This was him at his most honest.
He would be tender and loving, but he would also be passionate and needy. I wanted both sides of him. The sweet romantic who bought me candles in the hotel shop, and the sexy man who’d waited on the bed half-naked for me. Tonight wasn’t about one or the other—it was just about us.
The last of my nerves fell away, and all I could think of was touching him. Tasting him. I’d fantasized for so long about running my tongue down his chest and abs; it was all I could do not to jump him. But I wanted to take things slow. There’d be time for hot and fast later. At that moment I wanted to explore and tease; I wanted us to have a first time to remember.
I felt a little bit like a romantic dork, but looking back at this when we got older I wanted us to have incredible, special memories. Not just a quick fuck. If I jumped him, we’d go straight to it, and that was not what this should be like.
My hands tightened on the towel, and I could feel Jeremy watch me as I took a deep breath. I had to keep reminding myself to go slow. It was a short walk to the bed, but I drew it out and made him wait.
When I was about halfway across the room, one hand started rubbing his chest absentmindedly, and the other went down to grip the covers. It looked like he was holding himself back. What was he picturing doing to me?
When I was almost to the bed, I loosened my grip on the towel and let it slide down my hips. It was low enough that the base of my cock was almost showing, and I knew Jeremy noticed because his grip on the bed made his knuckles white and his arm strain.
His whole body looked like it was fighting the urge to move. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but I didn’t know how to ask. We’d gone for so long hiding our desires, I wasn’t sure how to stop. It was one of the reasons I’d taken the number of the other therapist.
I didn’t want anything ruining what we could have, even my own insecurities and fears.
It was easy to see us together for years to come. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. He was the one I wanted to grow old with. And if talking to someone could help me make sure we didn’t screw it up, then I was all for it.
The top part of my dick was showing by the time I reached the bed. With every step, I’d let the towel move a little more, and now it wasn’t covering anything—it was mostly teasing. But this time, I was going to follow through.
I loved the way Jeremy reacted to me. His breathing got deep, and both hands had death grips on the covers. His nipples were tight, and the way he licked his lips made me want to feel his mouth on my body again. Just a lot lower than it was earlier.
I still wasn’t sure what to say, so instead of standing there looking like a moron, I dropped the towel. It slid down to the floor, and my cock sprang up. Hard, with precum starting to drip from the head, it made it obvious how much I wanted him.
That seemed to be the breaking point for him because as soon as the towel hit the floor, he reached out, grabbed me by the waist, and pulled me onto the bed. Before I could take a breath, I was straddling his body, and I could feel his cock pressing against my ass. I shifted a little, making his cock rub against my hole, and his grip tightened until it was almost painful.
Between the sensations flooding my body and feeling so vulnerable and on display for him, I was overwhelmed. With every movement, his cock pressed up, and even through his jeans, it caressed my asshole. Everything low in my body tightened, and it made me desperate for more. The look on his face made it even hotter.
His expression kept going back and forth between awe and wicked passion. And the grunts and gasps that escaped him made me want to see what he would do without the jeans in our way. Every sensation was just as new for him as it was for me.
Watching his pleasure as he ran his cock along my ass was addicting. I loved that I could make him feel that way. The erotic longing went back and forth alternating with a look that hinted at all the naughty things he wanted to do to me.
It was a look of desire and ownership. In that moment, I was his and he wasn’t going to let anything come between us. In that moment, I was his and he was going to show me just what that meant. It made me feel vulnerable but weirdly turned on. I wanted him to need me…to want me so much nothing could tear us apart.
When his hands slid around my hips to cup my ass I knew I was going to get my wish. Jeremy grabbed my cheeks and took control, running my body up and down his length. It made the warring emotions of need and being on display for him so much worse but in the best way. I’d spent so long feeling almost invisible to him that the way he watched me fed something in me. Naked and stripped bare, he finally saw me.
With a growl, he pulled me close and rolled us over until he had me pressed to the bed underneath him.
“No more teasing, sexy. You’re going to make me lose control, and that’s not what I want tonight.”
“I like it when you lose control.” He needed to know that. I wanted him to understand that I loved everything about him.
Jeremy started pressing little kisses along my jaw until he reached my ear. I couldn’t hold back the moan that tore through me when his teeth grazed it. He licked around the edges and whispered, “There’s nothing to stop us tonight. Is that what you want? Do you want to keep going…to keep touching…loving?”
“God, yes!” I wasn’t going to play hard to get. I wanted him as much as he wanted me or more. I’d been dreaming about this for so long.
His chuckle was more naughty than nice as he heard the passion in my response. I wasn’t going to hide anything from him. Even my desperate desire and dorky responses. He must have liked what he heard in my voice because his teeth grazed my throat as he started working his way down my neck with little kisses and sharp bites until he reached my chest.
If I thought it was hot before, it was nothing compared to the nibbles and licks he teased me with. Feeling his tongue run around my nipples and over my skin made me want to fly off the mattress. I had a good idea now why he’d had such a tight hold on the bed earlier. The only things that seemed to be holding me down were his hands on mine and my grip on his shoulders.
I’d touched him countless times over the years, but holding him as he kissed me and tasted me had tears coming to my eyes. It was overwhelming, but it only made me want more. Jeremy had to have known how much finally getting to be with him was affecting me because with one last flick of his tongue across my nipple that made me shiver and gasp, he propped himself up on his arms and looked deeply into my eyes.
“I love you, Baby. You know that, right?”
There was no way to hide the tears in my eyes this time, so I didn’t even try. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and nodded before I finally found my voice. “I know. I love you, too.”
“It doesn’t matter what other people think. I know you’re mine.”
This time all I could do was nod; there was no way I was going to be able to say anything without a complete breakdown. I squeezed his arms again and leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. Jeremy must have understood because I got a soft smile and he leaned down to give me another kiss.
It was sweet and tender, and I could feel how much he loved me.
When he pulled away and sat up on his knees, I frowned and tried to pull him down again. But he gave me a naughty grin and reached for the button on his jeans. The seconds it took for him to release it and drag the zipper over his straining erection seemed to take forever. He was having fun getting to tease me this time.…I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I gave up trying to keep my hands to myself and let him strip for me when he started to push his pants over his ass. It was too much temptation. Reaching up, I slid my hands beside his and we pushed his pants down together. Running my hands over his ass, his jeans came off, revealing a long, hard cock and full, round ass. He was beautiful.
I didn’t fight the need to touch him. I let my hands wander back up his legs caressing him until I came to what I really wanted to touch. His dick was thick and heavy in my hand, I loved the way he shivered and thrust into my fingers. He arched back and moaned when I tightened my grip and ran my hands along the length up to the slightly flared head.
Little shivers raced through him when I tugged on his balls gently and a throaty gasp made my dick harder when I ran my thumb around the sensitive slit at the head of his cock. He let me play with his body, touching and learning him until his control started to snap. I’d have played and explored him for hours, but he grabbed my hands, his voice raspy and thick. “No more. I’m going to come if you keep doing that. God, it’s good.”
He held my hands still on his length while he caught his breath. When he was back under control, he opened his eyes and I could see his desire and need. It made my own breath catch.
“What do you want, Baby? Do you want to come like this, playing with each other or do you want more?”
There was no hesitation when I answered, “More. God, yes, more.”
The wicked grin was back, and he reached down and grabbed my cock. Stroking me and tugging on it just hard enough to make me want to beg, he started with the questions again. “What do you want then? I’m good either—”
Again, I blurted out what I wanted. “Bottom. I want to bottom.”
He might have been playing with my dick, making me crazy with need, but this time, he shivered again. I couldn’t wait to feel him in me and it looked like he couldn’t wait to be in me. I’d want to top eventually, but right now I wanted to feel him loving me.
And I think he needed it this way this time. He needed to show me how much he loved me and to make me his. His emotions reminded me of how it was before, right after everything happened when I was young. This was just another way for him to watch over me.
Lying next to me, propped up on his left arm, he ran his right hand over my chest, touching and exploring. Leaning down to kiss me, he swallowed my gasp of pleasure as he pinched my nipple. He kept teasing my nipples, back and forth, as he kissed and licked at my mouth. Feeling his tongue slide against mine sent shivers down my body. When he bit my bottom lip and pinched my nipple again, I arched up and couldn’t control the begging and pleading that escaped.
“You like that don’t you, Baby? You like feeling my hands on your tits.”
The growl in his voice and the naughty words made me want to squirm and beg again. I wasn’t sure exactly what I needed, but I wanted more. “Yes. Love it. Love it when you pinch them.”
“You like it when I pinch them hard.”
He did it again, then gave me another deep kiss. My words tumbled out in one long moan. “Oh yes. Hard, please.”
When his hand moved from my chest and started sliding lower I held my breath. I couldn’t wait to see what he was going to do. Every touch and kiss made me want more, and I was more than ready to move past teasing and get to the good stuff.
His fingers caressed the crease of my leg but he went around my cock without touching me. Instead, his fingers explored lower, gently encouraging me to spread my legs further apart. I felt vulnerable and exposed laying there naked and open for him.
“You’re beautiful.”
That one little phrase, spoken in a low, hushed voice, pushed back my fears, and I felt so much love coming from him. Every little touch and trace of his fingers made me feel incredible. Loved…wanted…needed…understood. When he stroked the sensitive skin under my balls and down to my hole I almost came right then. It was so much better than anything I’d ever felt playing with myself.
With the lightest pressure, he teased circles around the outer edges of my hole. The tight muscles fluttered and I could feel everything relaxing, begging for his touch. I’d played with myself enough that my body automatically started to relax for the gentle caress.
I almost lost it when he took his hands away from my body and leaned back. Was he changing his mind? The relief I felt when he just reached over and grabbed a bottle of lube off the side table was physical. He must have seen something on my face because when he looked down at me again, he gave me a tender kiss and whispered sweet words.
It wasn’t long before I was relaxed and ready again. It was so much better than I’d ever fantasized, and I couldn’t wait for more. This time, when he teased the sensitive muscles around my hole, his fingers were slick with lube. I knew how good it would feel to have his fingers inside me, and I couldn’t wait for more.
I’d never gotten the angle right in the shower to go deep enough to hit my prostate. But it’d always felt so good teasing the outside and fucking myself with my fingers that I couldn’t wait to see how much better it was going to be now. Jeremy didn’t tease for long this time. We were both too impatient.
When he tapped his fingers gently against my hole, the first one slid slowly inside me. Jeremy’s fingers were a little bigger than mine, so even with just one I could feel the muscles stretch, and the burn sent shots of sensation straight to my cock.
“Oh, God, shit.” It felt too good.
“Too much or not enough?” Jeremy didn’t sound too worried, I knew he had to guess how incredible it felt.
“Not enough. Shit. Feels so good.”
His finger slipped in and out a few more times stretching me, but it wasn’t long before he added another one. It probably should have been painful, but the sting just made my cock even harder, and I started thrusting my ass back onto his fingers. I needed more. I needed Jeremy.
“I need you. No more teasing. I’m ready.…I need more.”
“Not yet. I want to make sure you’re stretched. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s not a bad hurt…God, it’s good…I just…Jeremy.” I begged and fucked myself on his hand. I couldn’t wait much longer—it felt like I’d explode. I let go of the strangling grip I had on his arms and reached down to grab my cock.
Jeremy moaned when I started jerking myself off and I fought against the need to close my eyes. Something about watching him while he was touching me like that seemed so intimate. So erotic. He was looking at me like he’d never seen anything hotter. In that moment, I was the center of his world.
As my hand got to the base of my dick, Jeremy leaned down and gave the head a little lick. I had to squeeze my cock to keep from coming right then. I almost swallowed my tongue, and the sound that came out was more of a desperate plea than any real words. Jeremy peeked up through his lashes and grinned.
“The next time I play with you like this, I’m going to suck you off while my fingers are in your ass. I want to feel you fucking yourself on my hand while I taste you.”
I had to tighten my hand around my cock again. “God, the things you say, Jeremy. I’m going to come if you keep saying shit like that.”
“You like hearing me talk dirty to you?” I could tell by the look on his face he already knew the answer to the question. He just wanted to hear me say it.
He was such a dork. “You know I do.” I tightened my ass on his fingers and started playing with my cock again. “Now stop teasing me, and fuck me or I’m going to come.”
Deciding that two could play the teasing game, I rubbed my fingers around the head of my cock and gathered up the precum flooding out of my dick. I brought the precum up to my lips and slowly licked it off. Kind of like it was a popsicle or something. I’d seen it once in a porno, and I’d thought it looked weird at the time, but Jeremy loved it. His eyes went wide and he thrust his cock against my leg.
When I went to suck on my fingers like I’d suck on his cock, that was the breaking point for his control. He pulled his fingers out and stretched over me so he was cradled between my legs. His cock was rubbing my crack, and it was just enough pressure to feel incredible, but not enough to make me come. I was tired of being teased. I wanted him to fuck me. No, I needed him to fuck me.
Jeremy must have agreed because he took my mouth in a kiss so hot it made me melt, and with one steady thrust, his cock glided into me. It felt so much better than his fingers, and I was so well prepped it didn’t hurt at all. I could feel the stretch as he slowly started to fuck me.
He stopped when his dick was all the way inside, but I think it was more to keep himself from coming than for my comfort. I didn’t need him to stop; I needed him to move. I felt full, and every time he shifted, it was like rockets going off in my body.
With his eyes closed and every muscle tight, he looked like he was going to come at any second. It was sexy as hell, but I wasn’t ready for it to be over. I tried to stay still and wait for him to start but it was impossible. Everything in me wanted more. Needed more.
“Please, God, Jeremy, please.” I couldn't stop the begging even if I wanted to. He felt so good, and I knew it would only get better.
I wiggled my hips a little, trying to get him to do something, and whatever I did had both of us gasping in pleasure. I don’t know how it felt for Jeremy, but that small movement had him hitting something deep inside me that sent fireworks off.
“God. Do that again. You found—you—my—oh God, again!”
As Jeremy started to thrust, I lost any ability to talk. Rambling, pleading moans and desperate noises but no real words. I’d probably be embarrassed later, but at that point, it felt incredible, and knowing he was inside me pushed me past the point of functional.
When I finally came, it was like the orgasm was pulled right from me. Cum flooded out of my dick, and the pleasure was so good it was almost painful. It was like no orgasm I’d ever had. As the waves of sensation came over me, I felt Jeremy start to come. He was shaking all over and shot deep inside of me. It felt like he was marking me. Like I was his.
It was erotic and beautiful and everything I’d wanted. We were finally together. It was more than the words “I love you”—this was knowing it deep in your soul and giving that part of you to someone else. Unconventional or not, he was my forever, and I was his.
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