Twenty-One
Lily hurt, everywhere. She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy. She did manage to crack one eye partially open and saw Nikoli asleep in the chair beside her bed. He looked tired and his clothes were worn, like he’d slept in them for days. She closed her eyes again when the harsh light started to make them burn. How long had she been out?
She heard the steady beeping of machines and realized she was in a hospital. Why was she in a hospital? Her memory was foggy, but she vaguely remembered a car crash. Had she been in an accident?
She opened both eyes this time and looked around. Definitely a hospital. She was hooked up to more machines than she could count. She looked back over to Nikoli. Why was he here? Her last memory of him was all hugged up with some blonde ditz. She’d run from the house and then…then…ohmygod. She’d been attacked and woken up in a trunk. Someone had kidnapped her. She remembered kicking out the taillight and using her bra as a distress signal.
Then what happened? She thought hard, and her heartbeat started to race when she remembered the car going crazy fast, then they’d tipped over, and something must have crashed into them, but she wasn’t sure. She’d passed out before she could register much.
She’d woken up here with Nikoli Kincaid sitting beside her bed, asleep and looking like he’d been through hell.
Her mouth was full of cotton. She needed water. The nurse’s call button wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and besides, she was so sore, she didn’t know if she’d be able to reach it. She let out a tiny sigh, but it was enough to wake up the man sitting across from her. Nikoli’s eyes sprang open, and his worried gaze found her face.
“You’re awake,” he whispered.
Lily nodded and winced. Her head hurt something awful. “W…wat…”
“Water?” he asked, and Lily nodded. He poured water into one of those little plastic hospital cups and held her head up so she could drink. “Just a few sips at first,” he warned.
The cool ice water was the best thing she’d tasted in her life. It soothed her dry, parched mouth and the burn in her throat. When Nikoli pulled it away, she tried to protest, but he shook his head. “No, Milaya, you must sip it a little at a time or you’ll get sick.”
He reached over and hit the call button. “They’ll need to check you out, dushka. Just relax and let them work.”
A few minutes later a nurse came in and smiled. “She’s awake, I see. You’ve had us worried.” She picked up Lily’s chart and nodded. “You’re in luck. Your doctor happens to be the one on call today. I’ll page him as soon as I take your vitals.”
For the next twenty minutes she was poked and prodded. She’d always hated hospitals, even when she was little. There was just something about the sterile smell that disturbed her. Cleaning fluids mixed with the stench of sickness. The only thing she really wanted to know was when she could go home. The doctor said they’d take it day by day, which caused her to scrunch her nose in disgust.
Adam came rushing in about the time the doctor left. He made a beeline for her and grabbed her into a hug. All the breath went out of her at the pain that lanced across her ribs. Before she could say a word, Nikoli had hauled him off her.
“Her ribs,” he said before Adam could open his mouth. “You were hurting her.”
“Hell, I forgot.” Adam ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lils.”
“It’s okay,” she said, her throat still a little scratchy.
“I’d have been here sooner, but I fell asleep in the cafeteria and didn’t see Nik’s message until just a few minutes ago.” He grimaced and shot an apologetic look Nikoli’s way.
Lily frowned. They were acting like friends. Since when were Adam and Nikoli friends? They hated each other.
“How are you?” Adam turned his attention back to her, walking over and sitting down in the chair Nikoli had vacated.
“I’m sleepy,” she said truthfully. She was having issues keeping her eyes open.
“Sleepy?” Adam laughed. “You’ve been asleep for almost five days, Lils.”
“Five days?” she gasped. No way!
“Yeah, you had some pretty serious injuries, and then there was a complication.” He glanced over at Nikoli, and he nodded. “You had some bleeding in your brain and they had to relieve it almost right after your first surgery. You scared the hell out of us.”
No wonder she had such a horrible headache.
“You mom and my parents are here. Don’t be shocked when they show up later today,” Adam warned her. “I’m going to try and keep them from visiting until tomorrow, but there’s no way your mom is staying away. We had to strong-arm her to get her to go to the hotel and get some sleep.”
She gave Adam a once over and noticed his clothes were as rumpled as Nikoli’s, and he hadn’t shaved in a couple days either, by the looks of it. Had they both been here the entire time?
“She needs to sleep,” Nikoli said. “Now that she’s awake and talking, why don’t you head home and get some sleep yourself?”
“That’s not a bad idea. I need a shower too. Want me to bring you dinner back?”
Nikoli nodded, and Lily glanced between the two of them, nonplussed. Had she died and gone to some remote region of hell, perhaps?
Adam laughed at the confusion on her face. “Don’t worry, Lils, Kincaid and I came to an understanding. We’re all good.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Get some rest, and I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll call your mom too.”
Nikoli nodded to him and then dragged the chair closer to the bed and sat down. He stared at her, not saying a word. There were so many emotions flickering in his eyes, it was hard to define them all.
“I’m sorry, Milaya,” he said after a long moment. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault someone attacked me, Nikoli.”
“Yes, it is. If I wasn’t such a stupid ass, you would never have been put in that position. You wouldn’t have walked in on me and then run out so that bastard could take you.”
She sighed and started to say something, but he put a finger to her lips.
“Quiet, Milaya,” he said, his voice deep and gruff. “When I saw your face that night…God, it cut through me, and I realized then what a selfish bastard I was.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I lied to you, Lily, when I said I didn’t love you. I do. More than my own life, but I was so scared when you told me in Miami. I kept thinking of the girl who’d broken my heart before, and I couldn’t do that to myself again. So I lied.”
He lied? A flutter of hope sprang to life inside of her, but then she remembered all the women he’d been with since they broke up. “Nikoli…the last month…all the women…”
“Not a damn thing happened,” he swore. “I tried, Milaya. Trust me, I tried hard to forget you, but I couldn’t. I kept seeing your eyes, all broken and haunted. That girl you found me with? She was my last ditch effort to try and be the old me, but I couldn’t. I was about to take her back downstairs when you walked in. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth, Lily. You’ve seen me with girls, but how many have you heard talking about fucking me?”
She thought back over the last month, and she’d heard rumors he’d been playing hard to get and it was driving the girls insane, but she couldn’t think of a single person who claimed to have slept with him.
“I love you, Lily Isabella Holmes. I fucked up and let you walk away once, and I’m not doing it again. I’m an ass, but I’m an ass who loves you. Will you forgive me, Lily? Will you forgive all the hurt I caused us both and marry me?”
Marry him?
“I swear to all that’s holy, Milaya, I will spend every damn day for the rest of our lives making it up to you if you’ll forgive me. I promised God I’d take care of you if he’d give you back to me. You’ll never know the hell I went through when I found your phone lying there on the sidewalk, and the blood…God, Lily, I almost lost it. Then when I saw that car flip with you in it, I almost died myself.”
He reached down and grabbed her hand. “Please, dushka, forgive me. I’m so fucking sorry, Lily. Give me a second chance? Please?”
Lily stared at him, shocked and dazed. She’d heard nothing but blah, blah, blah after the words marry me. He’d really asked her to marry him? Hope refused to be pushed down again as she gazed into his onyx eyes. They were open and honest, full of pain, regret, and love.
Could she forgive him for everything he’d done? He’d broken her so badly. He’d healed the damaged person she’d been, only to break her into a million tiny pieces that were still sobbing on Janet’s bathroom floor.
“Nikoli,” she said softly. “You don’t understand what you did to me, what I went through…”
“Jan told me,” he said just as softly. “I’m sorry, Lily. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I am truly and deeply sorry, and I will never hurt you like that again. I swear it.”
Could she trust him again? She loved him so much, her very soul ached without him, but could she go through that again if he decided he didn’t want her? Her mind shied away from the thought of that pain, the pain that still sometimes woke her up in the middle of the night, and she’d cry until she went to sleep. The only person who could fix the broken mess she was sat staring at her, his heart in his eyes. She took a chance once, and she’d take it again, even given what happened, because she would never regret Nikoli Kincaid. He was her heart and her soul.
“What does dushka mean?” she asked instead of answering right away.
“It means sweetheart.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “I’ve never called a girl sweetheart before. It’s why I’d never tell you what it meant. I didn’t want to explain it even to myself.”
He’d been calling her sweetheart for months and she’d never even realized.
“You’re killing me Lily.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed. “Please say you forgive me.”
“I forgive you, Nikoli.”
He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss lightly on her palm. “Thank you, Milaya. I don’t deserve it, but thank you.”
“No, you don’t deserve it,” she told him. “And you are a selfish bastard, and if you ever make me hurt like that again, I swear I will shoot you where you stand.”
He chuckled. “You still haven’t answered my question yet, Lily Bells.”
“I don’t know if I want to marry an ass or not,” she said, but there was no heat behind the words. She did want to marry him.
“Yes, you do,” he countered, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
“I do, do I?”
“Uh-huh.” He nodded. “Who else is going to put up with your prudish tendencies?”
“I am not a prude!”
He gave her the patented Kincaid stare.
“Well, if I’m a prude, then you’re a manwhore.”
“Did we or did we not agree to never use that word again?”
“As long as you continue to call me a prude, then I’ll call you a manwhore.”
“I love you,” he said, laughing.
“I’ll marry you, Kincaid, on one condition.”
“What?”
“I want your car.”
“Ellie? You want Ellie?” He looked stricken, and Lily nearly laughed out loud.
“Yes.”
He got up and started to pace. “I can buy you any car you want, Lily Bells. Just name it and I’ll have it sitting in the hospital parking lot today.”
“I want your car, Nikoli.”
Nikoli took a deep breath and came over to sit on her bed. He leaned down until all she could see were his eyes. They were warm, and she could see the love in their dark depths. “If it means I get you, then fine, Milaya, you can have my car.”
Her mouth dropped open. He’d give her the car? He loved that car…he loved her. He really loved her if he was willing to hand over the one thing he loved more than anything.
“Well, how about you just let me drive the car once in a while?”
He grinned. “Is that a yes?”
“Don’t you think it’s too soon, though?” she fretted as he leaned back. “We’ve only known each other a couple of months.”
“My father married my mother a week after he met her. Kincaid men waste no time in staking a claim when it matters. I love you, Lily. Not for a week or a month or a year. I will love you when I’m old and gray, when I’m too senile to remember your name, but I’ll still remember that I love you. I don’t need months or years to know I want you to be my wife. You’re all I need, all I’ll ever need. Marry me, Lily. Please.”
“Yes, Kincaid, I’ll marry you.”
He leaned over and placed a butterfly kiss on her lips. “I love you, Lily.”
“I love you too, Nikoli.”
He smiled and kissed her softly once more, but her eyes were drooping shut.
“Sleep, sweetheart, just sleep.”