Chapter 20

 

When he caught his breath, Flynn rolled off of Gabby, padded to the adjoining bathroom to dispose of the condom, and returned to her before the sated expression left her face. Throwing the covers over them, he pulled her on top of him and held her, spreading his legs to bring them closer. He was still quaking with leftover currents.

She pressed her cheek to his chest and he sighed. Utter contentment. Her finger drew lazy patterns on his pec, and even that was wonderful. Rubbing his hand up and down her spine, he breathed in her honey scent and smiled.

Through the years, he’d wondered what it would be like between them. It wasn’t something he’d lingered over or spent too much time harboring since that path led to torment. But, yeah. He’d wondered. He hadn’t been prepared for her in the slightest. Not with the way she simply just understood him better than anyone, nor the way their friendship carried across the line they’d drawn. It had ramped the connection, the experience, to holy shit levels.

Not prepared at all.

Being with Gabby had been about more than the finish line, about more than the end result. She’d made sex...enjoyable. Not an act, but an act of God. Perhaps he was exaggerating this a tad, but...no. Not for him. Sex had never been like that for him. Had it been as good for her or was he being a sap?

“Did I hurt you?” He didn’t think so. She’d come, he was sure of it. If it hadn’t been Gabby, if he didn’t trust her implicitly, he never would’ve gone there in that kind of mood. He’d barely managed to watch her face during, having been so caught up in her and the assault of emotions. He tugged lightly on her hair to get her attention. “Did I?”

She lifted her head, a cat-like grin on her pouty lips and sleepy haze in her eyes. “No, you didn’t hurt me. That was pretty amazing.”

He agreed. Something akin to biblical. For years, he’d banked his desire for her in order to maintain the unit they’d been, but what they’d just done there were no adjectives to describe. Emotions and sensations he didn’t recognize swirled around in his chest, making his throat restrict.

She traced his jaw with her fingers. “Is this...weird? I mean, after being friends, we...” She looked away. “Do you feel weird?”

Moved by her uncertainty, he tucked a finger under her chin and brought her attention back to him. “Do you feel weird?” She shook her head. “Me either.” He was feeling a whole lot of things, but weird didn’t make the cut.

“What do we do now?”

He suspected she meant in the figurative sense, but he went for literal to put the smile back in her eyes. “Give me twenty minutes and we can do that again. I could possibly feed you first, but it would have to be quick. We need to come right back here and make up for lost time.” He wanted to explore her body, kiss every inch of skin and watch her come apart again. Take his time for round two.

“Lost time, huh?” Her pouty, swollen-from-his-kisses lips pressed into a line to hide her grin. Fail. He could stare at that mouth all day.

Nodding, he tucked her hair behind her ears. This was another first for him. Cuddling and after-sex conversation had never been a part of intimacy. Hell, she was the first woman to which he’d actually spoken. After the past few weeks, it hadn’t even crossed his mind to just open his mouth in her presence.

She studied him. “Truth. What was all that about back in your living room? The displeasure thing?”

And...buzzkill. He rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out a way to answer. He’d always been honest with her, able to say just about anything. But there was honesty and then there was emasculation.

Sighing, he looked at her. “I’m deaf, which means I don’t always know if the rumbles are moans of pleasure or requests to stop. If my sole attention isn’t on my partner, I can’t tell what they want.”

Her gaze dissected, ripped him apart cell by cell. “But in other matters, you use your additional senses, your intuition. You could tell by body language if they were into it or wanted you to stop.”

He fumbled with an explanation. “Sex is different. Physically being with someone and succumbing means I could miss signs.”

“Because you’re so wrapped up in the act?”

He nodded. Leave it to Gabby to get him on a molecular level.

She frowned. “Has that ever happened? You not seeing the signs?”

So badly, he wanted to talk about something else, but if they were going to make a run of this relationship, she had to understand this one tic of his because he’d never drop it. Even just a few moments ago, when he’d made love to Gabby and his emotions were whack, he’d held onto a thin tether.

Closing his eyes for a beat, he grappled with the right words before lifting his lids. “My first time was also the first time for the girl. Teenage hormones.” He shook his head. “I hurt her.”

She cupped his jaw. “A girl losing her virginity is always uncomfortable.”

“I know, but at the time, it upset me, made me realize I couldn’t ever lose focus again.” He swallowed. “It sort of made me paranoid. Women tend to not like being watched for every nuance. I learned to hide my observations, but...”

“But you’ve never fully let go.” Not a question, so he didn’t respond. She offered a slight shake of her head, sympathy in her eyes. “I’m not them. You know me. With me, you can go with your gut, have confidence that your signals aren’t crossed.”

Christ. She was right, but that didn’t mean he could unwind years of behavior, or even that he should. If he unintentionally did something to hurt her, he’d never forgive himself. He ran his fingers through her hair. “Gabby, please understand. There’s just certain things I can’t do.”

A flash of irritation crossed her face. “Don’t think for one second you’re less of a man. You hear me?” Just like that, her anger subsided. “What do you mean there’s things you can’t do?”

This whole conversation was going to crap anyway, he might as well make it worse. “I need to see my partner’s face. I’ve done missionary, sitting up, the woman on top and, a couple times, up against the wall. But I’ve never taken a lover from behind, for instance.” He’d wanted to on many occasions, but such was life.

Her expression indicated she didn’t know how to respond, and when she looked away, he wanted to punch something. They’d been together a couple of weeks, but he had no idea if she would be satisfied long-term. Sure, there were many positions they could get into, and he’d love to attempt every one, but he definitely had limitations. He’d never really been in a serious relationship either. Not one that had potential, anyway.

Leaning forward, she kissed him. Tenderness and understanding swept through her with every stroke of her tongue and brush of her lips. She dropped her hands on his chest, fingertips tracing the contours. Her hair fell in a curtain around them. Because she was on top and it was Gabby, he closed his eyes to savor the taste of her, relish the warmth of her skin.

Her fingers moved south and his shaft stirred. Down his sides and back up again, her touch sent his heart into overdrive. He held the back of her head to deepen the kiss and she rocked her hips between his thighs. His eyes flew open and he hissed.

She brushed her nose with his and lifted her head. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” Sad truth was, she might be the only person he trusted explicitly. He banded his arms tighter. “Of course, I do.”

Her gaze ran over his face, and he could all but see her brain clicking. She held up a finger telling him to hold on, and got out of bed. Missing the weight of her, he groaned. She walked to his closet and disappeared inside. What in the hell was she doing? She returned with one of his neckties and his heartbeat screeched to a halt.

“No,” he said, suspecting where this was going and...no.

Climbing back in bed, she straddled his hips, setting the tie next to her. “You’ve never had anyone focus solely on your pleasure, have you?”

Didn’t matter. He wouldn’t let her be the first. “Not happening.”

She framed his face with her hands and erased the distance as she leaned forward, kissing some of the anxiety away. But then she lifted her head, determination in her eyes. “Let me blindfold you.”

“No.” Even as his cock stirred at the thought, his heart was jackrabbit-ing around his chest cavity.

“I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to, and I really want to do this, Flynn. Consider it a fantasy of mine.”

He almost believed her. Though her heart was in the right place—because when wasn’t it?—he couldn’t give up the one sense he had that he’d depended on all these years. Swallowing hard, he shook his head.

One corner of her lips quirked like she knew she was wearing him down. She rocked her hips, coating his erection with her wet heat, earning another hiss from him. “You want it, too.”

Hell, he kind of did. The selfish part of him wanted to take this chance. She was right. He’d never had anyone do something like this, make it all about him.

His brain filtered information at the speed of light. She was on top, thus no possibility of hurting her. He would still have his hands to touch, to make note of her response. And...this was Gabby. She’d never take advantage.

“Trust me.” She traced his lower lip with her thumb.

With the breath stalled in his lungs, he nodded.

While he shook like a wounded animal, she knotted the tie around his forehead and looked at him. “Just feel, Flynn. I’ll take care of you.” Then—Christ, then—she slid the tie over his eyes and the world went black.

Panting, panicked, he grabbed for her, settling his hands on her waist. Her lips came down on his and he jerked in surprise.

She patiently waited, her mouth pressed to his, for him to respond. He gripped her waist tighter, letting the familiar softness of her skin and weight of her body orientate him. He breathed in her honey scent and a measure of calm settled over him.

“Gabby,” he said against her lips.

Her palm cupped his cheek and he turned his face toward her touch. It was insane how potent her skin felt against his when he couldn’t see what was happening. If he thought the contact before was intense, this put that to bed. As if he could pinpoint every red blood cell in his veins, follow the path of his nerve endings, his breathing grew erratic in anticipation.

Her hot tongue traced his lips and he parted for her, accepting what she offered. She could knock him from zero to all-systems-go with just her kiss. Like her personality, she kissed from the tender underbelly of her giving heart. Attentive and clever. Playful and sweet. A hint of naughty and a lot of gumption. His skin heated and a ball of need spread from his gut.

Kissing her way to his neck, she placed her hands over his on her waist. She licked the tendon near his pulse and he threw his head back. Combustion was imminent if she kept that up. Her warm breath caressed his flesh as she worked her unbelievable mouth to his ear. A nip of the lobe. A trace of her tongue around the shell.

He struggled to breathe as his body fired on all cylinders. “Fuck, Gabby. That’s my weak spot.” He felt her smile against him as if she knew that. She made her way to the other side of his neck and repeated the sweet torture. She was killing him. Killing. Him. “Want you.”

She squeezed his hands in encouragement, a silent way to acknowledge him since she’d taken his visual away. Any residual doubt about this adventure fled and only need remained. White-hot burning desire, unlike anything he’d ever experienced, surged through him. His erection became almost painful.

A sharp tinge of pain hit his right nipple, and he realized she’d nipped him. The ache was soothed by her tongue before she did the same to his other one. He bucked under her, gliding his shaft against her slick folds to alleviate the throbbing. She was drenched, just as turned-on, which pulled a moan from deep in his chest.

Linking their fingers, she shifted lower, and he lost his anchor where he’d been holding her. She squeezed his hands, telling him she was right there, and kissed his abs. Belly button. Her nipples dragged across his skin while she moved, only amplifying the sensations she uprooted. Lower, she drifted. Anticipation clawed at him, sending goose bumps across his skin. Heaven help him if she—

Wrapped her lips around him.

His jaw unhinged with a short cry, his chest rumbling in the wake. “Gabby.” His throat was raw, but hell if he cared when she was taking him deep. So, so deep into the cavern of her mouth. Pressure. Heat. His tip hit the back of her throat and he gritted his teeth.

He let go of one hand to reach for her, but left it suspended in air, unsure. His heart pounded, waiting. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist and guided it to the back of her head where he buried his hand in her soft strands. Releasing a slow breath, he gently thrust into her mouth and stilled. Her other hand squeezed his in approval.

Then she was using teeth and tongue, and his balls pulled in warning. “Gabby. I’m close.” Vibrations shot up his shaft with what must’ve been a moan from her. Effing unbelievable as this was, he wanted to come with her. “I want inside you, sweetheart.”

She released him, sending cool air along his erection, and crawled up his body. The bed shifted and then her fingers were around him, rolling a condom down his length. Taking his wrists, she guided his hands to her hips as she rose. His tip grazed her opening and the heaven/hell suspension when she paused stole the oxygen from the room.

Her knees caged him in, pressing firmly against his ribs as she lowered herself onto him. Christ. Nothing felt better than being inside her. The velvet heat of her walls gripped him and he was amazed by how well they fit. Like she was made just for him. When she was completely, entirely surrounding him, she placed his hands over her breasts. Her peaked nipples teased his palms.

She rocked her hips forward and the glide of stirring inside her had him even closer to release. Taking her cues, he ran one palm down her torso to where they were joined. He circled her clit with his thumb and grabbed her hip with his other hand. He pulled out and thrust up, bringing her down as he did.

On her hip, she covered his hand with her own and squeezed, telling him she liked that. She gripped his forearm and encouraged his fingers to keep working her body.

He paused a fraction of a beat, taking in this unbelievable moment. One he’d never thought he’d ever get to experience. His partner running the show and him—literally—blind to her needs. But that was just it... Two senses down, yet he knew exactly what Gabby, his Gabby, needed. Not just by her direction, but from knowing her. He could finally let himself go and just seek...pleasure.

Emotion wove around his heart as his throat tightened. The sensory overload had his body’s visceral reaction kicking in hard. Easing out of her again, he bucked back inside, pulling her down on him and rubbing her tight little nub. Her nails dug into his forearm. She liked it.

They moved as a unit toward bliss, just like they were in sync outside of the bedroom, and that knowledge wasn’t lost on him, despite how she was short-circuiting his brain cells. Her walls gripped him harder and he knew she was close. He circled faster, thrust harder. His spine tingled and he fought to hold on until she got there, too.

And, yes.

Have mercy, she shattered. Trembling over him, she stilled, body taut. She clenched him in a vise, drawing the orgasm right from him until he’d spilled. Pinpricks of light danced behind his closed lids. He bowed off the bed with the force of his release. She collapsed on him, and he reached around to grab her ass as he rocked through the last of the shudders.

His breaths soughed and her exhalations fanned his neck. Damn, that just happened. He ripped the tie off his head and tossed it aside, then cupped her cheeks to look in her eyes. He blinked at the light, his retinas readjusting.

Her pupils were still blown, nearly swallowing all that blue. Cheeks flushed, hairline damp with sweat, she smiled at him. Sucker punch to the heart.

She was...he had...there were just no words.

Shaking his head, he tried to get a grip and couldn’t. He rained kisses over her brows, her lids, her cheeks, then took her mouth. He tried to pour how grateful he was into the kiss, telling her just how much she’d moved him before breaking away.

Nuzzling his palm, she closed her eyes. “Now you can feed me.”

His head slammed onto the pillow and he laughed.