Ava
I thought I’d already gone down about as deep as a soul could go—down into that black abyss called hell—but I was wrong. There’s more to go. I guess there will always be more to go.
It takes me a while, but I get all the bags emptied. Why’d I make such a big list? Because I’m stupid, that’s why.
Once it’s all put away, I start on dinner. First, I scrub the potatoes then get the fixings ready for the apple pie. I can’t focus too well, but at least I’m making things I’ve made plenty of times before. But there’s a catch to that—a big spoonful of sorrow that goes along with everything I’m doing. Because I’m making things I love. Things Helen taught me. Things I used to make for Ben and even my father. Things I’ll never want to make again.
I get the pie done and ready so it just needs to go in the oven, and get started on the chicken. My hands shake so hard, it takes me a bit just to get it clean and dry, and buttered up.
It feels like I’m moving in a slow daze, but every time I look at the clock, the world seems to be spinning faster and faster.
At quarter to six, I’ve got the table set for three, and the chicken, potatoes, and pie in the ovens. There’s a pretty sunset going outside, raking itself along the mountains, but I can’t even bring myself to look at it. All I can think about now is the idea that I need to get myself ready. A sick feeling crawls through my body, feeling like now it’s my turn to get buttered up, so I can be stuffed in the oven.
Back at the door to my room, I open it slowly, not sure what to expect. I haven’t seen or heard anything from Shayne since the conversation in the kitchen, and part of me wonders if he might be lurking in here, but the only thing I notice when I peek in, is the dress laying on the mattress. The knot in my stomach tightens. It’s white with red roses on it. It’s not the dress I wore that day, but it’s close. The roses are bigger, and the style is different. This one is shorter and sleeveless, with a deep V neckline. There’s also a red ribbon on the bed that I know is meant for my hair, and a pair of red heels on the floor. I wasn’t wearing heels back then, but guess I am today.
My legs are so wobbly I have to sit on the edge of the bed before I collapse. I look to the closet, wishing I could just disappear into that dark space.
But a shower waits.
And a beast.
His friend too.
A little before seven, I’m dressed up and back in the kitchen. Outside it’s almost dark, and both the chicken and apple pie are done. I take the apple pie with shaky hands and set it aside to cool for later, and put the chicken on a platter with the rosemary potatoes around it. I even add a few sprigs of rosemary to dress it up. I don’t know why I do that. So stupid.
I set the platter on the table and hear the sound of voices coming from down the hall. I walk quickly to the kitchen and begin wiping down the counter because I don’t know what else to do.
“There she is,” Shayne says. He comes up from behind and grips my waist, pressing me to him. “Damn, you look good, baby.”
I smell beer and cologne—cologne I know I’d melt to, in another time, another place. But not now, because all I smell is fear. My fear.
The beast leans into my neck and breathes in. “Mmmm, you smell so fucking good, Ava. And that necklace looks so pretty on you. Guess you got the little presents I left for you in the bathroom.”
He nuzzles my neckline, in such an intimate way I don’t know how to respond. Everything’s so mixed up. Just like how I felt when I saw the small box of perfume on the bathroom counter, and the velvet box next to it, holding the most beautiful necklace I’d ever seen.
I keep my eyes down when he turns me around and runs his fingers along my throat and over my collar bone. “They say it’s important to have romance in the relationship, so figured Romance perfume was a good place to start.” His voice is so soft, so tender, like how a normal husband might talk to his adoring wife. He takes the pendant gently in his hand and runs his thumb over it. “And buying jewelry for your woman is supposed to be good too. But I didn’t just buy this for you, Ava, I had it made for you, a long time ago. I handpicked all these sapphires—sapphires to match your eyes of course—to make the rose, and showed them my tattoo so they could use the design to make the thorns and barbed wire out of the diamonds that hold it around your neck. I know it doesn’t really go with the dress, but I really wanted to see you in it. And it looks so nice on you. What do you think, do you like it?”
I nod and my lower lip quivers.
“Oh, Ava.”
His soft kiss burns my temple, then he takes my hand and turns me around like a ballerina. “Look at this, Red,” he says, whistling while he does it. “Isn’t she just the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen? Her hair’s up in a ponytail and tied off with a bow, and she’s wearing a pretty dress. But not just any dress, right Ava? Not exactly the same, I know, but it was as close as I could find, and it looks so hot on your tight little body. And those legs. Wow, not sure I’ve ever seen you in heels before. Makes my dick hard just looking at you, especially knowing you dressed up just for me this time.
“What do you think, Red? She’s lost a little weight, I know. We both have. But we’re both still adjusting to married life, going through a bit of a rough patch, aren’t we sweetheart? But we’re working things out. She still looks good though, doesn’t she? Prettiest girl in the whole damn world.”
“You look real nice, Ava,” Red says, sounding sincere, and uncomfortable too. I see him from the corner of my eye, standing off to the side, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his freckled skin looking pale against the olive button-up shirt he’s wearing. His hair looks actually combed for once, but it’s still nothing but a red mop of curls.
“What about me, Ava?” Shayne asks, still holding my hand, but taking a step back. “How do I look?”
I skim warily over the shiny black cowboy boots, the black jeans, the shiny belt buckle, and the silky, black, dress shirt. And that’s as far as I go. I know better than to look at his face. But then he says, “Go on. It’s okay this time.”
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to.
But he squeezes my hand to the point of pain, so I look up.
His black hair is slicked back, hanging down behind his ears, and he’s clean shaven, making his sunken cheekbone more noticeable, especially now that he’s lost weight. His left eye droops, not near as much as it used to, but it’s still there, set back under heavy brows. And his nose is like I remember last, flatter and crooked. It’s his mouth that’s perhaps still the most shocking. The scar on his upper lip gives him that snarl that sends a shiver barreling down my spine. But it’s those eyes. Those black eyes that burn, fueled on by alcohol and filled with something—something I don’t want to see. Pain.
He smiles, pulling back those lips over his teeth. “Now I know I’m not as pretty as I used to be, but it’s not that bad is it?”
When my eyes begin to fill, I shake my head and look away.
He laughs. “Oh, Ava, you suck at lying, you know that? But what about Red, over there. He looks pretty sharp, doesn’t he?”
I nod, staring at the floor.
“Funny,” Shayne chuckles. “You used to be the ugly one, Red. Now it’s me. Fancy that.”
Shayne gives my hand one final squeeze, so hard I swallow down a scream, then he lets me go and says, “Let’s eat!”
I’m cradling my left hand, trying not to cry or throw up, when Shayne gets to the table and stops. “We won’t need three settings. Clear this one off, Ava.”
I don’t understand, but move to the setting, my left hand against my stomach, and with my right hand, pile the napkin, silverware and placemat onto the plate and carry it to the counter.
“Red, you sit over there,” Shayne says, pointing to the setting at the far end. And I’ll sit here.” He jerks the chair out and sits down. “Can’t believe how good this all smells. Bet it tastes good too. Serve us up, Ava.”
I walk to the table, panicking over how I’m going to cut the chicken. My hand shakes when I pick up Shayne’s plate and move to where the platter sits. I’m able to pick up the knife with my good hand—my right hand—but when I try to pick up the fork with my left, it falls to the table with a loud clang and I whimper.
“What’s wrong, Ava?” Shayne asks. “Oh damn, baby. Look at your hand. It’s all swollen. Did I do that? Fuck, sorry about that. Here. Let me serve that up. You go get the Jim Beam.”
I hear Red shifting his chair. “Maybe I should get her some ice?”
“Nah, she’s tough. She’s got quite the pain threshold now, don’t you, baby?”
Even though he’s piling up his plate, I know he’s looking, so I nod, walking back with eyes down and the bottle in my good hand. I set it on the table.
“Oh, and don’t forget the glasses,” he says, moving on to serve Red. “Only need two.”
I get two rocks glasses from the cupboard and slip the rims between my fingers and carry them back, keeping my other arm tight against my body. My hand throbs, but like Shayne said, I have quite the pain threshold now.
He takes the bottle and fills both glasses, takes one to Red, and sits down.
I’m not sure what to do, since the other setting is gone now, and am about to walk back to the kitchen, when Shayne snaps his fingers while he takes a drink and points to the floor by the side of his chair.
I stare at the spot on the Navajo rug, feeling the heat sear my cheeks. If it was just Shayne…just the beast…
Slowly, I walk to his chair and sink to my knees, knowing Red’s watching.
The sadist has found another way to hurt.
It’s quiet now, except for the awkward clang of silverware as they both start eating. I’m holding my hand, looking down through the darkness in a blur, ignoring the pain in my knees, when a piece of chicken appears, hanging from Shayne’s fingers.
It dangles there, dripping with a bit of fat.
I stare at it, and keep staring, and staring, that lump in my throat growing, then I open my mouth and take the chicken.
When I swallow it down, it wants to come back up, but I won’t let it.
Shayne jerks his chair back, causing me to jump. “Almost forgot! We need some music.”
He walks out of the room and I know Red’s watching me now. I can feel it by the way he sits quietly, not even eating. Music breaks the silence, drifting from all around.
Shayne enters the room again. “The man in black!” he says. “Just like me.” He sits back down and they both start eating again. “You know who this is, right Red? Johnny Cash! Figured it’s appropriate, you know? He lost a brother, just like me. And boy, he had it bad for that June, didn’t he? His whole life, it was June, June, June. Just like me with my Ava.” He feeds me another piece of chicken. “Isn’t that right, baby?”
I nod, chewing slowly.
“Did you ever see that movie, Red? Walk the Line I think it was.”
“No.”
“Awww, you got to see it. Always been a Cash fan so I made sure I saw it. And it was a damn good movie. Damn good. June doesn’t make it easy for him, but he marries her in the end, and they live happily ever after. Just like me and my Ava are going to.”
Shayne leans over and puts his glass of bourbon to my lips and whispers, “Isn’t that right, baby?”
I want to seal my mouth shut, but instead, nod and take a sip.
And how it burns.
Shayne sets his glass down and pets my hair, then picks up his fork again. “So how’s the east pasture looking, Red? It’s been forever since I been out there. Think we should move the steers over yet?”
I tune out when they set in on ranch talk, just kneeling there, holding my hand, and taking whatever scraps Shayne feeds me, and sipping the bourbon when he sets the glass to my lips. I’ve never had alcohol before. Never wanted to touch it after I saw what it did to my father. I never want to touch it again. I can feel it working though. I can feel that fire burning inside me.
Shayne leans back in his chair and sighs. “That was so good, Ava. So fucking good. We haven’t had a meal like that in ages, have we, baby?”
I shake my head.
“What do you think, Red? Did you like it?”
He must’ve nodded, because Shayne adds, “You got to speak up, so she can hear. She can’t see you from where she’s at.”
“Was real good, Ava,” Red says, speaking up over the music. He sounds sincere again, but I don’t pay attention. I’m just waiting for this to be over so I can curl up in my corner again.
“Alright! Time for dessert,” Shayne says, slapping his stomach. “Apple pie, isn’t it? Is that what I smelled earlier?”
I nod and start to get up, clutching my arm to my side, when he yanks me by the ponytail and jerks me back down. “Did I say to get up? No, don’t think I did. We’ll take care of this, won’t we Red? Poor Ava’s hand’s all messed up. Guess I don’t know my own strength sometimes.” The chair jerks back and he stands. “Stay,” he says, then takes his plate away.
I sit there, staring at the rug, hearing the music above me, feeling the beast around me. He says something to Red about grabbing plates and forks, then he’s back, placing the pie on the table.
“Did you make this from scratch?” he asks. “Just for me?”
I nod.
“Damn, that was sweet of you. Hey, Red, why don’t you do the honors?”
A moment later, they’re eating again.
“Sorry, honey,” Shayne says to me. “Bit messy to feed you this. But don’t worry, you got dessert coming.”
Those words hang in the air, floating around like darts inside my mind, while they both keep eating.
A little bit later, Shayne leans back in his chair. “Don’t know about you, Red, but I’m stuffed.” He reaches out and pets my hair. “That was one good meal, Ava. Figured you knew how to cook, but you blew me away tonight. Guess it’s my turn to fix up something special for you now.”
The beast moves his chair back and I flinch, then he starts undoing his pants.
No. Please no.
Not here.
Not with…
“Hey, Shayne,” Red says. “Maybe I should be going.”
“No!” the beast says, slamming his hand down on the table. “You stay.”
The drink’s doing its thing. I can hear it. Feel it.
Red sits quiet now, while Shayne’s flesh hangs out, heavy and swollen against the black denim. It rests there, like a demon lurking in a thick patch of dark hair.
“First, baby,” he says, “why don’t you stand up and take off your dress. Let’s give Red here a little show.”
Slowly, I make my way to my feet. I teeter on the heels, with my eyes down, and try to use my good hand to get the dress off, when Shayne leans forward and says in his soft voice, “Here, let me help.”
He slides his hands up my legs and under my dress. “Arms up,” he says, as though talking to a child. I lift my arms and close my eyes when the clothing leaves my body. I’m not as devastated as I thought I’d be. Perhaps because I’ve been naked for so long. But now there’s another set of eyes on me. Eyes I know linger my way.
“Let’s take your heels off,” Shayne says. “I want nothing on you but that necklace.” One by one he removes my shoes, pulls out my ponytail, and arranges my hair so it hangs down around my face and over my shoulders. It covers my breasts but he spreads it out so my nipples poke through.
Shayne adjusts the necklace just so, then collapses back in his chair, staring at me. I’m looking to the side, but I can see him blinking slowly, see his chest rising and falling in that hard way.
“Step back and turn around,” he orders. “Let Red see you.”
I do as he says, my skin burning while I spin in a circle knowing two sets of eyes watch me.
“Have you ever seen such a gorgeous creature?” Shayne asks, leaning forward in his chair. “We always knew she was pretty, didn’t we Red? But naked—her body—doesn’t it just blow you away? I mean, she still has that small side to her, that side that makes her so sweet, so innocent, almost like a child, but then there’s the woman in her too. Those tits—carved so damn perfectly, with those rosy nipples that stand up and out, just begging to be plucked. And that ass…Turn around again, baby. Let’s see that again. Yeah. See that ass, Red? So round and tight, and I love how her waist cuts in above it. And God, look how hot the brand looks on her. It’s good and scarred up now, and I fucking love seeing that on you, Ava. It’s goes so good with those cane marks. And see Red…see how her pale skin really brings out all the bruises in such a nice way? The perfect canvas. She likes pain, did you know that? Yeah, she likes it when it hurts. Figured you’d get a kick out of that, knowing how much you like to use your knives on the girls. I cut you up too, don’t I baby? Yeah, we like blood play. Okay, now turn around, slowly. Christ, that necklace looks so good on you, especially with your white blonde hair and those eyes. Makes the blue glow something crazy, like you’re from another world or something. What do you think, Red, doesn’t it look wild on her?”
“Yeah,” he answers, his voice tight but deep.
The beast falls back in his chair and takes a sip of his drink. “Alright, Ava,” he sighs. “We’ve gotten a good look at you. Time for dessert.”
He sits there with his flesh hard and veiny now, while his arm rests on the table with his glass in hand. His black eyes watch me, knowing I’ll move soon enough, and I do.
His gaze follows me when I walk to between his legs and kneel on sore knees.
“I want you to savor me, baby,” he whispers. “Go slow, draw it out. Show Red what a good little cocksucker you are.”
The cut of his words slice me deep, just like he wants, and I feel the pain when I take him in my right hand and put him in my mouth. He lets out a hiss that burns my ears, while the music plays around me.
“She can suck it, Red, let me tell you. Didn’t know much at first, but now…” He groans and pets my hair, and slowly, forcefully, presses himself deep into my throat. “She can take it all. Learned that real quick, didn’t you baby?”
I nod.
He finally lets me go, sits back and sips his drink again, watching while I go to work on him, doing all those things he likes. He sits quietly, except for the occasional groan or hiss, watching me with those eyes.
“Hey, Red,” he says, “you want to see what else she can do? I’ve got her all trained up.”
Shayne leans over, close to my ear “Come on, baby. Let’s show him what a good rider you are. Hop up and turn around.”
My throat closes in, knowing what’s coming.
He takes himself from my mouth, then holds his shaft upward while I do as he says. I face away from him, and hear him spit, then feel his hand on my hip, guiding me to him, while I know Red watches.
“No, not there,” Shayne says. “You know what I want, sweetheart. My hole. That’s it. Watch this, Red. She can take it all. It takes her a little bit, but she’ll get there, won’t you, darlin’? Yeah. And I know, I know, it hurts. I didn’t get you warmed up this time, but I’ll talk you through it. I know you like it when I do that. There you go. Ahh, that feels so good. What a good girl, you are. Keep going. Keep going. All the way down now. That’s it. Work it back and forth. There you go. Oh, fuck, you feel so good. Alright, now ride me, Ava. Go on, show Red how good a little rider you are. That’s it. Awww, that’s nice. Come on. Giddy up now. Giddy up! Let’s go. Harder. Come on, harder! Oh, Christ, that’s good.
“Hey, Red, how do her tits look? Look pretty good bouncing like that, don’t they? Awww, he’s being shy, Ava. He’s trying not to look, but I can tell he likes it.
“Okay, now grind on me a little. Work that tight ass into me. Ohhhh, that’s good. So good. Alright, alright—hold up. Almost there. I need to feed you, don’t forget. On your knees, now. Give me that mouth. Wrap your lips around me. There you go. Ohhhhh fuuuuuck! All the way, Ava. All the way down your throat.”
He takes my head in both hands and shoves me down the length of him, until my nose is buried deep in that dark pelt of hair. His warm seed bursts into my throat, over and over, dripping down my insides. He holds me in place, silent and straining while he feeds me. When he’s empty, he lets me go and slumps back in his chair. His meat slips from my mouth, wet and spent, while my head falls against his thigh. I can still feel him sliding down inside me.
“So fucking good, Ava,” the beast sighs, petting my hair.
I sit there with my eyes closed, unable to do anything but lose myself in his soft touch.
He’s still stroking me, when he says, “Hey, Red, you’ve been like a brother to me all these years. Only real friend I’ve ever had. How about I let you give Ava a second helping of dessert.”
The beast is still touching me, watching me as my eyes open and a tear bleeds onto his jeans. That’s when I hear the screech of Red’s chair. My stomach starts to hurt when I think he’s setting up for me, but instead…
“That’s it, Shayne,” Red says. “I’m done. I’m fucking done with this shit.”
“Alright, then. Have it your way.” The beast still touches me. Still strokes me. “Send Rex and Pete up then, will you? I know they won’t mind sticking their cocks in her mouth.”
“Damn it, Shayne! What the hell! This is messed up. So fucking messed up!!”
The beast chuckles and looks to Red who’s standing in the kitchen now. “Oh, come on. We’ve shared girls before. Plenty of them. And all of them blonde with blue eyes, so we could both pretend we were getting inside our little Ava here.” He strokes my cheek, running his fingers over another tear, and starts petting my hair again.
“Hey, Red, remember that first girl? The first girl we took? We were what, almost eighteen then, and both virgins? Can you believe that, Ava? I was a virgin then, well sort of. Because I was waiting for you. But we hadn’t made our deal yet and I was starting to think we might not happen, and my balls were getting so blue I was feeling like one of those Smurfs. And I knew Red over there was a virgin too. He didn’t have the looks, you see, and he’s always been so damn shy. So I picked you up, didn’t I Red? Said we were going to get some that night.
“We ended up driving to that dive bar up in Santa Maria, and you were all worried we wouldn’t get in because we were underage. But we got in, didn’t we?” he says with a chuckle, leaning forward to refill his glass. “Yeah, just like I said we would. They didn’t care, it was so damn crowded and they were making money.” He settles back, takes a long drink, then gets to stroking my hair again. “Anyway, I’d grabbed us a couple beers and we were standing off to the side watching the dance floor. That’s when we saw her at the same time. She was older and not near as pretty as our little Ava here, but she was close enough. Had that tight body, the long, blonde hair, and the blue eyes. When she caught sight of me watching her, she left that guy she was dancing with and pranced right up, didn’t she? That was back when I was pretty though. That wouldn’t have happened now.”
He pauses to adjust my hair, pulling it back off my breast, then strokes my face.
“Anyway, I didn’t barely have to say two words to her when she asked if I wanted to get out of there. She had no idea what she was in for. You did though, Red. I know you did, because I’d said our names were Mike and…Alex, I think. Or something like that. So we went back to her place, a little dump of a house hidden back in the trees that she shared with another girl, who was traveling or something.
“So we had her all to ourselves, didn’t we, Red? Remember how mad she got when I came up behind her, pulled the straps down off her tank top, letting her tits out, then called her Ava. Boy, she got fired right up. But that was nothing compared to when I had you toss me your knife. She realized right quick what she’d gotten into, and got to squirming so hard, trying to get away. But all it took was that knife to her throat and she got real quiet.” He stops and chuckles. “When I had her point to which bedroom was hers, her hand was shaking like one of those machines that mixes up paint. You know what I’m talking about? Anyway, I started pushing her that way, while you were taking a seat on the sofa and turning on the television, knowing it would be a while. And it was, wasn’t it? I was in there for a good couple hours, working out my frustrations over Ava here.”
He takes in a long breath and slowly lets it out, then starts running his hand over my hair again. “By the time I left her, she was lying face down on the bed, with barely any life left in her. But there was just enough. Just enough for you, Red. And when I came out and collapsed on the sofa next to you, I could see you were struggling with it all. You were staring at that open door, looking like it was some big black hole. That’s when I nudged you and said, ‘Don’t be a coward, Red. Gotta happen sometime.’ Remember that? Oh, you hated being called a coward. Still do. But you made me proud, didn’t you? You walked in there and spent a good bit of time on her, yourself.
“So, come on, Red. Sit back down and take this as a gift. I’m feeling generous tonight. After all, you sold your soul for her, the same way I did. And she’ll take care of you, I promise. Isn’t that right, baby? You’ll do anything I tell you to, even this.”
I nod my head against his leg, feeling the wet stain of tears on his jeans.
“Besides, Red,” he goes on. “I know you don’t want Pete and Rex anywhere near this girl. And if that doesn’t beat the coward of you…then…well, I might just stop paying on that pretty house your momma’s living in. I know I don’t pay you enough to keep her set up like that. Southern California’s such an expensive place to live and all. But I do that as a bonus for you, because you’re my best friend. And she’s doing so good now, got a job and everything. But how long you think it’ll be before she starts using again and whoring herself out once she’s back in that sorry ass trailer park you grew up in. Now come on. Be a man and sit your ass back down.”
I hear the slow footsteps, hear the wary creak of the chair.
The beast leans over me and says, “Go on, baby. Go take care of Red. And how’s your hand? Think you can crawl to him?”
I nod while the bourbon on his breath sizzles my lungs. Slowly, I leave the beast and crawl across the floor, using the weight of my wrist to protect my hand. When I get to Red’s chair, I sit there kneeling, naked, and staring at the rug through a blur.
Tears begin sliding down my cheeks and I hear the beast say, “You got to take yourself out for her, Red, remember? She can’t do it with her messed up hand. And don’t worry, Ava. Red never touches a girl without a condom, kind of a fanatic about it, so I know he’s clean. Aren’t you, Red?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Red nod and begin to undo his pants, when the movement of his thumb catches my eye. It’s a thumb with a scar…a thumb I’ve seen before.
He takes himself out and shifts awkwardly in his seat, the red pubic hair and limp flesh poking out of his jeans.
“Go on, Ava,” Shayne says, the tone of his voice a warning. “He’s probably going to need a little help getting started.”
I’m not sure which hurts worse—that the beast would share me, or that I’m about to pleasure a man I grew up with but barely know.
It doesn’t matter I guess. There’s still only one path before me.
I lean forward, close my eyes, and take him in.
He tastes different and smells different than what I’m used to. When I begin working him in and out of my mouth, and running my tongue over him, Red groans and grows hard real quick.
The beast sounds again. “You know, I’m feeling so generous tonight. Say, Red, why don’t you bend her over the table and see how her pussy feels.”
I choke from his words, and a fresh set of tears spill down my cheeks. Red’s hard now, and I don’t hear him protest. But I can see bits of his face, looking tight and conflicted, almost helpless.
“I’ll even let you take her bareback, Red,” Shayne goes on. “Consider that another gift. And don’t worry, she’s clean, and protected too. So we can all feel good about this. Alright darlin’, go on, get up. Get over the table and let him inside you. But not my hole, the other hole. The one you gave away before me.” I don’t miss the change in tone on those last words.
When I stand, I don’t look at Red, I don’t look at anything. I just bend over the edge and close my eyes, trying to focus on the ache in my hand instead of the ache in my heart.
After a moment, he’s in me. His grunts are soft, his hips jerky. He’s not as big as Shayne, but he’s long, and it’s still painful, in my heart and in my mind, just like the sadist wants.
“Awww, you look so pretty when you cry, baby,” the beast says. “And I know you’re trying hard not to like it, Red, but I see you looking at her ass and grabbing her waist. Why don’t you give her a spanking? She deserves it after all. And she’ll like it too. Go on. Do it, Red. Do everything I say, or you know what’ll happen. Ha, there you go! Again. Again! Harder! That’s it. This is a bonding moment you two are having. Shit, are you coming? Oh well, that’s alright. But hey, you were supposed to feed her, remember? She made this nice apple pie here, but we ate it all. But I’ll bet you can get there again though. Slide down, baby. Give him another chance. He won’t let you down this time.”
I’m between his legs, taking him in again. It takes only a minute before his hand is on my hair and he’s coming down my throat with a grunt. He stays in my mouth, pulsing out last little bits of come over my tongue, then gently pushes me back. He’s fumbling to get his pants closed, when he says under his breath, “Sorry, Ava. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I guess if I had to choose, I’d rather have done all this to Red than those other two. It still doesn’t soften the blow. Doesn’t soften the feeling inside me that makes me want to curl up and die.
The beast chuckles. “Knew you’d be quick, but damn, Red. Figured you’d at least draw it out some. Especially after all these years of hurting for the girl.”
“Shut up,” Red says, reaching for his glass and downing the rest of it.
I don’t want to be near the beast right now, because I know it’ll hurt, but being where I am hurts worse.
So I make my way back, crawling to the monster where I kneel at his side. He pets me, places a kiss on my hair, then leans his broken cheek against my head, just resting it there. For a moment, the sadness creeps in, coming from him, from the way he holds me to him. Just holding and holding, and that strange feeling comes back, even after everything he’s just done to me and just made me do. I don’t like feeling this way. I don’t like it at all. It hurts. It hurts so much.
It hurts even worse when he lifts me into his lap, cradling me against his chest while he downs the rest of his glass, then leans back in his chair and nestles me in his arms. Despite my aching hand, and my naked body that he just gave away, I find myself curling into him. I don’t know why I do that. I don’t know why I breathe him in either, and close my eyes.
“Red won’t say it, baby,” he says, placing a tender kiss on my hair, “but I know you’ve made him so happy. He’ll be rubbing one out for years on what you just did for him.”
“Shut up, Shayne!” Red’s voice blasts through the room. “Shut the fuck up!”
“What the hell? What are you so torn up about? I just had Ava give you the time of your life. Well, maybe not exactly. I know I had to force that on you at first, but…come on now. Don’t get so bent out of shape. You know that’s not the worst thing you’ve done, now is it?”
Red gets quiet. The room gets quiet, except for the song still playing.
Then the beast says, “What do you think, Red? Should we tell her?”