CHAPTER 4
~ Set adrift ~
Callie’s feet feel like they have been weighted down with concrete blocks. Her limbs refuse to respond to the commands of her brain as her heart shatters into millions of jagged shards. Yeah, shatters. As stupid as she feels in this instant, just a few moments ago she had felt expectant, hopeful, eager, and alive in a way that she has never experienced in reality. The connection she had felt for that man, Nyle, was like nothing she had ever experienced outside of her dreams.
But in a single moment of time, that foolish notion of love at first sight was hopelessly dashed when Nyle spotted the other man in the doorway. The very same man who had been watching Callie’s shop today from the Café across the street. The same man that has haunted her dreams for the last ten years… And yet, both men have now completely forgotten about Callie and the rest of the world. They only have eyes for each other.
Callie’s eyes begin to burn, and she can feel a tightness in her chest and throat as though she is about to cry. She chastises herself for being foolish and takes a few slow, deep breaths to calm herself before looking up into the wise and very knowing eyes of Susie Williams. Susie smiles her understanding and reaches out to take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze that says so much more than words possibly could in this insane moment.
Susie smiles up at Boomer before announcing; “I’ll show Callie to her room. Thanks, Boomer.” She gives the enforcer a saucy wink as she wraps a sheltering arm around the shattered woman and turns to lead her away.
“Wait,” Callie says quietly, and quickly darts into the bouncer’s booth to retrieve her bundle of vintage clothing for mending. “Can’t lose these. I bought them all on spec today, need to get them ready for sale so that I can recoup my investment.”
Callie blushes as she wonders why she is blathering on about her piddly vintage clothing business when her heart feels like it has been ripped from her chest. But she calls on the years of practice at hiding her emotions and turns to face her new friend, Susie the club girl, with a plastic smile to say; “Show me the way.”
Tank watches Susie and Callie ascend the staircase to the private quarters with a thoughtful expression on his gruff bearded face. “Did you see that?” he finally asks his friend and fellow enforcer.
Boomer looks up from his shot glass of tequila and asks; “See what?” But his attention quickly drifts to everyone’s favorite club girl walking away with Callie.
The bear shifter chuckles softly. Boomer is enamored of Susie. He knows she is not his mate, but he is drawn to her just the same. But Tank suspects the connection isn’t really sexual, for either of them. That’s just how Susie connects with men, through sex. And yet, to the best of Tank’s knowledge, he doesn’t think that those two have ever hooked up. They just do this very entertaining non-sexual dance around each other all of the time. They are connected… deeply. Yet neither understands how or why. So they settle for being friends. Trusted friends. “Did you see what was happening with our little Callie and Nyle before Kazar showed up?
“Nah,” Boomer says blandly. “I went off to find out where to put Callie, remember?”
Tank nods thoughtfully, but doesn’t speak again. Finally, after several long and silent moments between the old friends, Boomer laughs and quips; “Well, are you going to tell me what I missed or shall I just stand here and guess all night?”
Tank chuckles and lightly punches his friend on the shoulder. “Why should I tell your blind ass anything?”
Boomer laughs and punches his friend in return. “Because I do not have your skillset, asshole.” Boomer knows that his fellow enforcer, the one the MC Brothers call Fucking Dr. Phil, is very observant of human nature. But he also has a preternatural advantage. Tank is also empathic. He doesn’t read minds like Blood, Tara, and Wrath, but he can read emotions and sometimes glean more information than the psychics can from reading surface thoughts.
“Nyle and Callie… connected,” Tank replies as he looks around to see if anyone else is paying attention to their conversation.
“Uh… like mates? That kind of connected?” Boomer questions with a skeptical look.
“Perhaps.” Tank says and then nods as though the surprising idea has true merit. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. There were some definite sparks flying between those two. Yet, it wasn’t just lust, that’s for sure.” He chuckles and drinks his whisky. “But there was plenty of that too…on both of their parts.”
“But Nyle and Kazar…” Boomer lets the thought trail off.
“Yep,” Tank agrees solemnly. The men fall silent as they watch the males in question quickly make their way up the stairs. “I hope Tara put those dudes in the same room as they shared before.” He chuckles and slaps his thigh with his open hand to express his amusement. “Otherwise, someone’s bed is about to be christened in grand style.”
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Once Susie shows Callie to her room, she quietly follows the shy woman into her new bedroom to close the door softly behind herself. “You okay?” the very perceptive club girl asks gently.
“Sure,” Callie says with false brightness. “Why wouldn’t I be?
Susie smiles her understanding and nods. “Okay, avoidance. I can work with that… for now.”
Callie smiles wanly, but does not deny Susie’s gentle accusation. The pregnant human moves to drape the clothing in her arms over the back of a straight back chair. She smiles when she sees that her things have been moved from her cubby back at the barracks. Her old quilt is on her bed, her few clothes are hanging in the closet, and she has no doubt that her other personal effects have been stored in the drawers of the small dresser.
A huge smile lights her face when she sees that her sewing machine and commercial serger as well as the numerous boxes and baskets of notions, sewing tools, and fabric have been retrieved from her home. “I wonder who went and got my stuff?” she muses out loud.
“Tara,” Susie informs easily. “She may come off like a bitchy bad-ass, but she’s a nurturer to the core. She knew you would need something of your own here to help you feel grounded.” The sexy blond club girl giggles easily. “Don’t tell her I said that.” She winks at her new friend and proceeds to dish a bit. “She’s also a seriously bad-ass Domme and would beat my ass for talking about her that way.” Callie can plainly tell that the beautiful club girl isn’t even remotely afraid of Tara, but she does respect her, a lot.
“A Domme? What’s that mean?” Callie asks innocently as she sets about organizing her sewing area.
“Uh, she’s into kink. You know, BDSM? Hell, just about everyone in the Immortal world is to one degree or another. For these guys sex can be raw, emotional, savage, and very real.”
Callie casts a bemused look at her new friend, but returns her focus to her work. “What exactly is BDSM? I’ve heard a little, here and there… especially after those books were so popular, and then they made those movies.” She blushes a bit just thinking about the things she heard her customers and acquaintances say about that trilogy of books.
“BDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline (or Domination/submission), and Sado-Masochism.” Susie sighs softly and shrugs. “It means different things to different people. For some folks, BDSM is an entire subculture that they willingly submerge their lives into, for others it is just about adding a bit of spice to their sex lives, and a multitude of varying degrees between the extremes.”
Susie picks up the worn whale bone corset and eyes it with avid interest. “BDSM has become a bit of a catch all term for a basic subset of kinky sexual preferences. Ideally, it’s about fully informed adults willingly entering into a relationship or a sexual interaction with distinct roles, and frequently practicing a marked disparity of power or control within their interactions. In the ideal situation where the rules for Safe, Sane, and Consensual are being observed, the one giving up the power, has the ultimate control because they can stop everything with a single word.”
She sighs softly and walks over to finger the intricate pattern of the antique quilt on Callie’s bed. “That’s an oversimplification.” She shrugs. “I play, and I’ve studied the psychology that motivates some people to be drawn to kink, but I don’t understand it all. I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination.”
She looks up to meet Callie’s curious gaze. “Like I said, it means different things to different folks, and it often simply boils down to need and preferences.”
“Preferences?” Callie asks, feigning indifference. “So, it’s not like homosexuality. I mean isn’t that an either or thing? Like a biological preset?”
Susie giggles and plops onto Callie’s bed to lie back and relax. She’s looking up at the ceiling while twirling a lock of her hair around her finger. “Honey, there’s homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say androphilia, gynephilia, and ambiphilia?” The club girl shrugs. “There’s also what many refer to as pansexuality, polysexuality, asexuality, transgenderism… ah, the list goes on and on. Sexuality is a complicated subject. There almost seem to be as many different sexual orientations and identifications as there are individuals and needs of each person.”
The vivacious blond giggles and moves to sit up with her legs crossed, eyeing her new friend with a knowing gleam in her eyes. “Now, take Nyle and Kazar. I think those males, like many of the paranorms I have met during my time with the Twin Ravens, are what us humans would call pansexual.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Essentially, it means that their ability to feel sexual attraction, romantic interest, or even love for another person is not dependent on gender or even sexual orientation.” She giggles. “Hell, for the paranormals, things like race, pantheon, and even species rarely makes a difference. Connection is soul to soul, not body to body. And when the elusive Fated connection is there, it is really there, and generally respected and revered across the board. I think almost every supe breathing wants to find their fated match or matches.”
Callie works in silence and Susie watches her speculatively for a several minutes. “I saw your face when Nyle and Kazar embraced.”
Callie flushes her embarrassment and turns away. Suddenly, the introverted human is feeling shame over being so absurdly attracted to a man she only met briefly and for feeling so devastated because he was already involved with someone else. Another man. A man who looks a great deal like the man who has been visiting her in her dreams for over a decade. Her shame is complicated by her confusion.
“I… uh…” she exhales slowly and nods. “Yeah, I was instantly drawn to Nyle. I thought he was reacting the same way to me. And then his mate showed up and I realized that it was probably just Nyle’s friendly nature. I mean, I had a gay friend when I was in foster care, and he loved girls… as friends, definitely not sexually or romantically. He identified with us.” Suddenly, she looks thoughtful. “But Nyle is nothing like Ricky.”
She giggles. “Ricky carried himself with more femininity than I could ever pull off. He said he was proudly queer. Sometimes, he called himself a Twink.” She grins and rolls her eyes. “I tried to understand his world because I loved Ricky like a brother, or maybe a sister,” she giggles sweetly. “But honestly, I never really knew what Ricky was talking about half the time.” She blushes, “When it comes to sex… I’m fairly reserved and inexperienced.”
Susie seems to consider Callie’s revelation, but decides to let it go for now because she doesn’t want to make the woman uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah, Nyle isn’t like that. He’s a man’s man in every sense of the word. Definitely not a Twink. He’s a bad-ass, über macho Celtic shifter and enforcer. He just so happens to love Kazar with all of his heart and soul, and believes they are mates.”
“Believes? Is there some doubt? I was under the impression that mating was a pretty clear cut thing.”
“Normally,” Susie agrees. “I’ve always heard it’s like a lightning bolt out of the blue when fated mates recognize each other. An epiphany moment. Kazar and Nyle both believe the other is their mate, but their bond has not fully formed.” She eyes Callie thoughtfully. “Uh, I also saw your reaction to Kazar. You recognized him, didn’t you?
Callie looks away to gather her courage, and then finally walks over to sit on the bed near Susie. “Okay, this is going to sound crazy… when I was in my early twenties I was in a car wreck that left me in a coma for five days. When I came out of the coma, I was convinced that I had been transported back in time. To ancient Egypt. That I met a man there, no, not a man, a vampire. A vampire who became very important to me in a very short amount of time.”
She pauses, debating how much of the truth to reveal. “I was brokenhearted when I came out of that coma and realized I was still in the twenty-first century.” She fiddles with the hem of her retro 1920’s day dress. “After a while, the man started popping into my dreams. He never spoke to me, but I would always see him on the periphery of my dreamscape. Watching me. Like he was waiting for me or something.” She bites her lip and then smiles shakily. “I know it sounds crazy but I have sworn a few times over the years that I have seen him watching me from a distance…. Although, that hasn’t happened for a few years… uh, maybe five or so.”
“Did you continue to see him in your dreams even when you no longer saw him watching you in your daily life?’
“I did,” Callie admits. She rubs her chest tenderly and closes her eyes. “He feels like he’s right here. As though he is a part of me.” She opens her eyes and frowns. “That’s why it was so strange that I was attracted to Nyle. I have not been attracted to anyone since I came out of that coma.”
She blushes. “Heck, I thought that coma broke me… somehow.” She bites her lip and smiles tenuously before looking down at her hands. “It was really weird and painful when I found out that Nyle is involved with my Egyptian dream man. I felt like I lost both of them in one fell swoop, even though I never had either one of them.” Callie shakes her head and covers her face. “Crazy, right? I’m flippin’ nuts.”
Susie opens her mouth to reply, but Callie is too caught up in her own inner drama to notice. She looks up, a gleam of near hopefulness in her eyes. “Maybe it’s just the hormones from the pregnancy. I mean, a pregnancy that progresses this rapidly must really do a job on a woman’s hormones, right?”
Susie can only nod stiffly. “I know nothing about pregnancy.” The look that crosses her face speaks to Callie’s heart of some old and very deep sorrow, but it passes quickly and Susie is again her sunny, bubbly self. Perhaps I am not the only one into avoidance, she thinks wryly. There’s a story there. I just hope we become good enough friends that someday Susie can trust me enough to share.
The words of her mother come back to her, “A shared burden is a lightened load”. The pain that always follows remembering her long dead mother keeps Callie silent and both women seem to be lost in their thoughts when there is a knock on the door.
Susie, the overly energetic being that she is, leaps from the bed and goes to open the door. They find Morna Michaels, the leader of the Airendell Spell Weavers and so called mother of the Airendell vamps, standing there in a tailored business suit with her hands on her hips. “Can any ol’ chickie join this little hen party?”
The club girl casts a glance back at Callie who is smiling happily at the sight of the healer. “Come in Morna. You are always welcome.”
The Amazonian sized redhead strides purposefully into the room. “I wanted to come by and give you another treatment before I go home to Asgard tonight. My grandfather is supposed to join my family for dinner.” She smiles wryly and admits. “We do this every month, but it’s still a big deal every single time. Our entire extended family and a horde of close friends show up. It’s always absolute mayhem, and I love it!”
Morna goes to stand before the seated Callie and smiles down at her. “You are tired.” It’s not a question, but a simple statement of fact. “You did too much at work today, didn’t you?”
Callie bites her bottom lip guiltily before nodding and admitting that perhaps she did. “You cannot be doing that,” Morna chides sternly. “This baby that is growing inside of you, is in one regard, essentially a mindless parasite. She will take everything she needs from you to grow into the strong creature she is meant to be without any malice or thought to your welfare. It’s simple biology.”
The redheaded healer tsks and admonishes; “If you do not take care of yourself, Callie, I will drag your lovely little behind back to Asgard and sic one of Odin’s healers on you full time.”
The Spell Weaver’s expression doesn’t come off as threatening, but Callie has no doubt the woman will do just exactly as she threatens to. The woman may be the leader of a powerful Immortal realm and run a huge non-profit foundation that benefits Oklahoma children, but at the very core of her she is equal parts nurturer and warrior. This intriguing dichotomy more than works for this woman. In fact, it essentially defines her.
Morna sits beside her patient and holds her hands over Callie’s belly, and then over the entire length of her body, all the while quietly humming a song just under her breath. She had explained before that she was performing a healer’s read of her body, and then transferring healing energy while weaving a spell of protection, as well as strengthening, to help her mortal body cope with the crazy demands of carrying a child of a Stone Cold vampire. Once the treatment is finished, she looks up into the face of her patient.
“I’ve told you before, you are a very unique case. Every other mortal that I have ever heard of who was bitten and survived a Stone Cold’s bite transformed into a vampire. And every other mortal who became impregnated by a vampire, was nearly skin and bones by this stage in the pregnancy.”
She stands and goes to the bedside table to pick up and examine the glass by the water pitcher before turning back to face Callie. “But you are so very different for reasons I cannot even begin to imagine. Perhaps you are doing so well because I have been giving you the solution with my antibodies intravenously and perhaps there’s something else going on with you. I really do not know, but I can tell you after that exam, the baby needs more nutrition. The antibodies aren’t going to be enough to keep her healthy and protect you. You are going to have to begin drinking blood. Preferably, the blood of an Airendell vamp because we have the rapid healing antibodies in our blood.”
Callie blanches at the news. “Yeah, I know,” Morna says with a knowing grin on her face. “At first it sounds like the most disgusting thing you could ever imagine, but I suspect that you can handle it. Especially if it will keep you and your child healthy.”
The wary human swallows down the bile threatening to rise from her stomach at this latest challenge and simply nods. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep my daughter healthy.”
“You too, girlie,” Morna chides gently. “You are just as important as the baby. Do not ever forget that.” Callie nods silently and watches warily as the Spell Weaver uses her sharp teeth and tiny fangs to slash her own wrist and begins to fill the water glass with her bright red blood. When she begins to feel lightheaded at the prospect of drinking blood, she reminds herself it’s just like any other medical treatment. Her entire pregnancy is definitely “Not Normal”, so why would her diet and treatments be “Normal”?
When she accepts the glass containing what must be easily twelve ounces of blood, she steels herself to feel disgust, but resolves to do this, and anything else that might be necessary to get herself and her child through the challenges ahead. Closing her eyes, she brings the glass to her lips and takes the first swallow. She is expecting to gag on the taste, but is relieved that the slightly viscous consistency and oddly metallic twang are bearable. In fact, the more she drinks, the easier each swallow becomes. In less than a minute, she has drank the entire contents of the glass.
Callie looks up into the approving gaze of the Spell Weaver. Morna chuckles and takes the glass from her. “I knew you had a backbone of steel, young lady.” She offers her hand and says; “Come on, I smelled barbeque when I got here. I bet these Twin Ravens’ boys have a big ol’ grill and smoker set up out back.” Callie takes her hand and goes willingly out the door, being tugged rapidly down the hall by the dynamo in a designer power suit, with the friendly and helpful club girl following behind with a huge grin on her face.
The Spell Weaver easily carves a trail through the massive crowd of paranorms who have come to celebrate the completion of the re-built clubhouse. She calls out friendly greetings to just about everyone along the way, but doesn’t slow to chat with anyone. She’s a woman on a mission. Namely getting her patient fed and in the care of someone who will make sure she rests after eating. Susie spots an enforcer from another pantheon and promises to catch up with Callie later before she ambles off with a seductive sway in her hips. Callie watches the outgoing girl approach a very attractive tall man with white blond hair and brilliant blue eyes, and wonders who he might be to the lively club girl. The two of them together present striking picture with their perfect blond good looks.
Callie looks around at the assembled mass of perfect bodies and god-like faces and mutters; “Jeez, are they all freakin’ perfect?”
Morna laughs heartily and shakes her head. “Far from it, doll. Supes are generally one messed up bunch. But yeah, supernatural genetics on the whole, often makes most of them look good.”
Callie’s belly tightens when she realizes that she will never truly fit in with this world, and she will never be able to go back to the small, quiet life she had created for herself before the attack. Because she has a feeling that once a human is aware of the hidden paranormal world that it must be difficult to lead a normal human life. Her hand rests protectively on her belly and she realizes she must figure out a way to help her daughter straddle the two worlds and find her own place. Smiling wanly because she knows she has a mission, if not a sense of belonging, in her future.
Once outside, it’s obvious that re-opening the Twin Ravens strip club is a true cause for celebration for the band of enforcers and their friends. There are several long tables, heavily laden with food, as well as a makeshift bar, manned by none other than Tara herself. There’s also a live band playing a really decent cover of the Allman Brothers Ramblin’ Man and then they quickly launch into an engaging rendition of She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer. Callie is taking it all in like a kid at her first grown up party, but in truth, she’s always felt a bit like a fish out of water in large groups.
Growing up as an only child with a single mom, Callie was a shy kid when her mother passed away suddenly when Callie was only ten. Eight consecutive years of being shuffled from one foster home to another did nothing to help Callie learn how to build social skills. So, she has spent most of her life going about the business of living as a solo act. Just a bit separate from the rest of the world, always slightly out of sync. Sadly, she doesn’t think her immersion in this new world of supernatural beings is going to do anything to change that. If anything, she feels even more like an outsider.
But her dismal thoughts lighten instantly when she sees Blood and his daughter. Morna seems to be equally delighted by the child because she squeals like an excited girl and opens her arms for the toddler. “Baby Puss!” The very animated, and barbeque sauce covered, child practically leaps into the Spell Weaver’s arms, planting a huge kiss on her lips while patting her cheeks affectionately. Obviously, Morna and Sunny are “old friends”.
Callie can’t help but giggle when Morna calls the child Baby Puss, like Bam Bam’s pet Sabretooth cat from the old cartoons. Her giggle attracts the little girl’s attention and she instantly reaches out for Callie. “Lizzy Keen,” the child chirps excitedly and hugs the reserved woman eagerly. Blood and Morna both are laughing at how happy both woman and child seem to be to enjoy each other’s company.
“Lizzy Keen?” Morna asks. Blood and Callie simply shrug. It is what the toddler has called Callie from the very first time she laid eyes on her after her father healed her. But Morna seems intrigued. “Why do you call Callie Lizzy Keen?”
The tiny blond haired imp giggles, and then extends her canines and her claws to roar loudly while flapping her arms wildly at her sides. “Lizzy Keen.”
“Well, that certainly clears that up,” says Blood with an indulgent gleam in his eyes as his little girl loudly demands her Dadddeee take her back into his arms. He kisses the top of the little girl’s head and Callie is struck by the difference in their looks. Blood, ever mindful of keeping his charges at ease, smiles and says; “I am Sunny’s adopted Dadddeee.” The smirk of pure pride and pleasure on the man’s face plainly tells Callie that, adoptive parent or not, Sunny could not be loved any more than she is by this man.
“She’s in good hands,” Callie says genuinely.
“Speaking of good hands,” Morna says with a broad grin. “I have to get back to Asgard… it’s our monthly family gathering.” She giggles light heartedly. “But I need to leave this very stubborn young lady in the hands of someone who will make certain she eats and gets some sleep.”
“No worries, Madam Spell Weaver,” Blood assures his old friend. “We have plenty of busy-bodies around here and Alpha-Males with protective instincts on overdrive,” he glances meaningfully over at a young Native American man whose name is Coyote or was it Wolf? Callie isn’t sure, but she knows there must be a story behind that comment. In that moment, she wishes she were actually a part of this group and not just under their protection. It would be nice to be comfortable enough to ask Blood what he meant and not feel as though she were sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong. She covers her growing baby bump and silently vows to help her child find her place in life.