- Gemma -
was going to be late if I put off going in any longer, but I was dreading seeing Alex again, especially in front his colleagues, who I had to assume knew how he’d duped me… God help me if they knew he’d fucked me as well.
After doing my best to remind myself over and over again that this was a professional opportunity that had nothing to do with us, I finally talked myself into getting out of the car and headed into the blue glass building, which was intimidating even before I saw the large fountain in the lobby.
“Good morning,” a woman said from behind the sleek front desk. “How can I help you?”
“I’m here for a board meeting,” I said, clutching a folder to my chest as I balanced on a pair of heels. I thought they might help me look the part, but I worried my discomfort was written all over my face.
Perhaps I should’ve come in my regular uniform instead of my only pantsuit. It’s not like the board would’ve been surprised to see me in sneakers and a logo shirt, but when I put it on this morning, it didn’t seem appropriate.
After all, just because I was pissed at Alex didn’t mean I should shoot myself in the foot before I even had a chance to understand the opportunity before me.
“Name?” the woman asked, her heavy lashes darting back and forth as she read a tablet screen I couldn’t see.
“Gemma Ryan,” I said, my feet beginning to sweat.
“Oh yes. Mr. Becker is expecting you.”
I forced a smile.
“If you head up to the fourth floor,” she said, her palm gesturing around the corner, “someone will be there to greet you.”
“Thanks,” I said, heading towards the elevators. Once I’d called one, I took as many deep breaths as I could manage before the final ding.
Alex was standing outside when the doors opened. He was in a dark blue suit that fit him so well I wondered how I ever could’ve believed he was regular gym personnel. Everything about him oozed authority, charisma, and confidence. Everything about him was attractive. I tried not to stare, but I must’ve, because the doors started to close again.
He thrust a hand out to stop them, and they bounced back open. “Thanks for coming.”
“My pleasure,” I said, determined to be professional despite the butterflies in my stomach.
“You are coming, right?”
“Of course.”
He studied my face. “The board won’t fit in the elevator.”
“Oh, right,” I said, stepping through the seductive scent of his cologne onto the tastefully furnished floor.
“Sharp suit,” he said, turning towards the farthest hallway.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling through my nerves. Ugh. What was it about this guy? He’d disgraced me, and yet I still cared about his attention.
“I know we have some outstanding personal issues,” he said, keeping his voice low as we passed a vase full of purple orchids.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is strictly business, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Right,” he said, a flash of disappointment showing in his eyes. “Good.”
“Good.”
“So tearing that suit off you after the meeting is absolutely out of the question?”
“Correct,” I said, trying to hide that I was flattered.
His cheeks flushed. “Just checking.”
“I wish you wouldn’t,” I lied.
“Understood, Ms. Ryan,” he said, directing his focus up ahead.
Unfortunately, his attempt at formality only heightened my discomfort, and I recalled something my dad often said when I was a teenager, back when I used to let him think I had all the same problems as skinny girls. You can’t go backwards in a relationship, he used to say. Yet here I was getting the Ms. treatment from a man who used to let me come on his tongue… So I guess he got that wrong.
Alex stopped outside a door with a glass window.
On the other side, I could see at least a dozen crisp suits talking around an oval table.
“I’ll start by introducing you to the board,” he said. “Then I’ll ask you to explain your motivation for rolling out the new program, along with what’s worked, what hasn’t, where you see it going, etc.”
I nodded, grateful for the brief.
“You’ll probably have to field some questions afterwards from people who aren’t very good at waiting their turn.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“But I’ll let you go before we move on to other matters, as I know your time is valuable and that you don’t want to be here.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to be here,” I said, looking up at him.
He searched my eyes.
“It just hurts.”
He clenched his jaw. “Let me make it up to you.”
I shook my head. “Can we just get this over with?”
“As you wish,” he said, opening the door.
We’d barely taken two steps in the room when everyone started clapping.
It was the last thing I expected, and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I assumed they were clapping for Alex, but when I turned towards him, he was looking at me, too, and a few seconds later, everyone around the table stood up.
I glanced over my shoulder.
“We’re clapping for you, Gemma!”
I looked towards the voice and found Jimmy, who was near the head of the table.
“We’re clapping for you,” he repeated.
“All right, all right,” Alex said. “Everybody sit down.”
I was so confused I could barely remember what I was doing there.
“Gemma, you remember Jimmy,” Alex said, pointing to his colleague. After that, he introduced everyone one by one, not that I retained a single name.
“Do you always clap before board meetings?” I asked, realizing how stupid the question sounded only after I said it.
“No,” Alex said, pulling out an empty seat at the head of the table. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”
“You’ve certainly made all of us more comfortable!” Jimmy said.
I looked to Alex for further explanation.
“They think you saved all their jobs,” he said, glaring at Jimmy like he didn’t want any more outbursts.
I furrowed my brow at him. “What?”
“I told you,” he said quietly. “I was going to sell.”
Holy shit. He’d meant all that stuff? Had I really made that big an impression on him? “And now you’re not?”
He shook his head. “Now I’m not.”
I could see in his eyes that I didn’t have nothing to do with it.
“Now, since you obviously need no further introduction,” he said, shooting Jimmy another look. “Why don’t you tell everyone the reasoning behind your initiative and how it’s been going?”
“Sure,” I said, setting my folder down in front of me.
There was a collective creak as everyone leaned forward in their chairs. Well, everyone except Alex. He leaned back, as if he were not only giving me space but admiring me, too.
And all of a sudden I remembered how it felt to have his support, how much it once meant to me. And it felt real. Like that, at least, hadn’t been faked.
And as I spoke, my confidence grew, and when it came time to field questions, I came up with even more answers than I thought I had. Good answers. Answers that made me feel like I did deserve to be there, like I had earned it. Like I had value to this company, to these people.
But despite what a professional triumph it was, it was, at best, bittersweet.
Because I still hadn’t forgiven him for lying to my face. Or for cheating me out of all those good feelings he’d awoken in me.
Even worse, I wasn’t sure I could.