Remy
The entire month of May, and half of June, came and went without speaking to the Senator, only seeing glimpses of him in passing. I was a mess every day, nervous, waiting, wondering. I’d told Linette about my conversation—well, the part of it where he mentioned we were the only people in Primo Town who’d known each other “before.” We decided it would be best to sit apart.
Not being allowed to touch anyone was bad enough. I didn’t realize how much comfort I was taking just by being near Tater until we lost that too. Sometimes I searched him out in the dining hall, and it always left me with one of two sensations. Either I’d find him sitting alone, sullen, staring off with his jaw locked, in which case my heart would ache horribly and I’d pray he wasn’t giving up or planning something reckless. Or I’d find him staring right back at me, wearing his need baldly across his face for all to see. In those moments I would flush head to toe, feeling dizzy, and look away before the guards could sense our connection.
Much to Linette’s chagrin, I ended up sitting with the children instead. I felt their warmth toward me, and I needed it. They knew better than to laugh or smile or touch one another, but we’d gotten bolder in the dormitory when the guards weren’t around. I would brush and braid their hair in the bathroom, and give each of them a quick squeeze before bed. I couldn’t help myself. I kept my eyes on the door the entire time. The thought of these girls growing up without any affection nearly broke me. I couldn’t even let myself think of the boys over in the male dormitory and whether or not anyone was loving on them. Especially now that I knew the Baelese had chosen each of them, from different backgrounds, for the sole purpose of breeding with who they chose, and working to further their cause.
Being away from the Senator allowed me some clarity. Anger had risen from the depths of my soul. It was easy to hate him and his methods when I didn’t have to see him. But all of those feelings came crashing down, clanking and clashing when he showed up at Primo Town after dinner, flanked by guards, asking for me.
Whenever the Senator arrived, everyone in Primo Town came out to see. We couldn’t help ourselves. Every day was so mundane. Any change of routine was beyond exciting. My heart pounded when the guard called my name in the dining hall, and I stood.
“Bahntan is here to speak with you. Follow me.”
I dared not look toward Linette or Tater, though I knew their attention was on me, like everyone else’s.
This was it. The moment I’d been contemplating and dreading. Seeing him again. I’d run through every possible scenario of what he’d do to me. I’d seen him lose control. Not fully, but enough. I’d been too brazen, and yet not brazen enough.
I was mentally preparing myself for the worst when I looked up and saw him standing there with two young human children. And I swear, when I met his eyes, his tense shoulders lowered in comfort. He worked his jaw, and I wet my lips, stopping when I was close enough. A crowd formed behind us, but everyone knew to keep their distance. They couldn’t hear, but they were satisfied to watch.
“Ms. Haines,” he murmured.
“Senator.” I looked away from the intensity of his eyes to see the boy and girl. No more than four years old each. The girl had spirally black curls past her shoulders and creamy light brown skin. They boy’s hair was dark brown and his skin was a shade lighter—Hispanic, perhaps? Both of their faces were marred by dried tear streaks.
“This is Kelsey and Ronaldo. They are younger than the usual Primo Town citizens, but they were found today in a raid, and I assured my soldiers that you would care for these two until they are old enough to work. Ronaldo, of course, will bunk with the males. Perhaps your companion who works with the livestock will allow them to shadow her during the day while you teach.”
My eyebrows went up and I nodded. “Yes, I’m sure Linette would be happy to keep them.” Ha! I squatted to the children’s level. “Have you ever gathered eggs or milked cows?”
The boy shook his head, and the tiny girl nodded. “I used to get the eggs when I was little.” The Senator chuckled at that, seeing as she was so tiny, and I smiled. I couldn’t believe this. I thought he’d want me banished to a different colony of humans at the very least.
I held my hands out to the children, and as they reached for me, I suddenly yanked my hands back, staring up at the Senator. His jaw locked in contemplation.
“Small touches with these children will be allowed because of their age,” he said, glancing around at the guards. “For now.”
Relief hit me, and I held out my trembling hands. Each of the children readily stepped forward to take my fingers and gather close to me. I stood with my head up, defiantly ready to argue with the Senator or any guard who told me to let them go. Everyone was quiet, watching, waiting for the Senator to respond.
Finally, he spoke, keeping his eyes on the children. “They will be in good hands here.” He looked at his scowling guards now. “Come along, then.”
My breaths were coming too quickly when they turned and left us, locking the swinging gates. I smiled warmly down at the children, though they both looked wary, clinging to me.
“It’s okay,” I promised them. “I’m going to keep you safe. My name is Remy.”
“Where Mama?” Ronaldo asked, his chin quivering.
I clenched my teeth, silently cursing the Baelese.
“She’s not here, Ronaldo,” I said gently. “I’m so sorry. We’ll take care of you.”
The other humans remained where they were in the open courtyard while I walked up and introduced the children. I ushered forward Linette and Tater.
“This is Ms. Linette. She’s going to take you with her during the days to learn how to take care of the animals. You like animals, right?” The children inched closer to me, looking up at Linette suspiciously.
Linette’s eyes bulged, and I said, “Senator’s orders.” This made her blink and a smile appeared.
“Of course. How . . . fun.”
I waved Tater closer. “Ronaldo, this is Jacob. He’ll take care of you at night when you go with the boys.”
A fiery burn of affection filled my heart when Tater kneeled and gave the boy a genuine grin. “Hablas español chico?”
“Sí,” Ronaldo said quietly. “Y ingles.”
Tater ruffled his hair. “Good. You’ll be fine with me, okay?”
The boy gave a shy nod, but still clung to me. When Tater stood again, his eyes went back to being serious, making that heat spread from my chest to my limbs and core. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to run my hands up his chest and over his neck, up to his cheeks, and just hold his face as I drowned in those eyes.
“All right,” one of the guards yelled. “Disperse!”
Tater stepped away and I inhaled to clear my mind. Linette gave me and the kids one last glance before walking away. I looked down at them.
“Are you guys hungry?” They both nodded. “We don’t have much here, but I’ll see if there’s anything left over from dinner. Do you like chicken and rice?”
Again, they both nodded, so I led them to the dining hall. They ate well, even devouring the mushy peas. I wondered where they’d been hiding out, and how many insurgents there’d been in their group.
“I find Mama and Papa now?” Ronaldo asked the second he finished.
Again, my insides sank to a sickening low.
“No. We have to stay here. Nobody is allowed in or out. This is your home now. I know this is hard and it’s confusing, but your parents are not allowed in. I’m sorry.”
“But why?” he asked, his eyes welling.
“I want my mommy too!” Now Kelsey’s eyes filled, and both of them began wailing. They looked exhausted. I stood when the two door guards came in, weapons out, looking at the kids like they were dangerous wild animals.
“They’re tired and overwhelmed,” I explained to the male and female Baelese. “This is normal for human children.”
They looked disgusted by the outburst, and the kids only gained momentum, crying louder at the sight of the guards with their guns.
“It’s okay,” I tried to soothe them. “Let’s go find your beds. Do you want a comfy bed and a blankey?”
Ronaldo stood, still crying, but I had to pick Kelsey up in my arms. She went limp before we even got out of the dining hall. The guards watched me suspiciously as I walked out carrying one, holding the other by the hand.
I took Ronaldo to the men’s barracks, stopping ten feet from the door at the sight of the guards. “I’m looking for Jacob Tate. He’ll be taking care of this boy.”
“Tate!” one of them shouted.
Tater came out, his hair wet from a shower, and I had to swallow. His eyes skimmed me with their normal, hungry aggression before seeking Ronaldo and softening.
“Okay, come with me,” he told him. “Bien?”
“English only!” a guard yelled.
Tater’s jaw clenched. “Sorry. I forgot.”
One language. That was one of their goals for humanity, though they still got to keep their own language. I thought about Tater and Amber’s mom, Juanita, and their Abuela. Their language. Their culture. As Tater took Ronaldo into the men’s dorm, I turned away and walked fast, holding Kelsey securely. How long would it take for every memory of Spanish and other languages to be forgotten? One generation? The wrongness of it shattered every sense of value I had inside.
Damn the Baelese for all the beauty they were killing and erasing. And damn the Senator for being the monster who allowed it.