“I wasn’t with you last night, Lily,” Brooks said, stepping in front of me. “So tell me what you’re feeling?”

Feeling? Was he serious? I was about to step into the octagon after several long months away. This was my first fight without my father by my side. Feeling? Oh, there was a whole slew of emotions running around in my mind.

“I’m good,” I lied.

He rolled his eyes. “You know you’re the world’s worst liar, right?”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

Brooks was my corner for the fight. With all the media attention lately, we all made the decision together that Brooks was my point man. He was familiar with my style of fighting and had been present at several training sessions.

“Lily, April has five extra fights under her belt. Focus on her weak spots.”

“Brooks, I know.”

Julian grabbed my hands to inspect the wrap. “Lils, we can’t be a team if you stay closed off.”

I pulled my hands away and glanced toward Charlie. “I’m sorry,” I said in a whisper. “This is my first fight without Dad here.”

Charlie ran over. “Shit. I wasn’t even thinking straight, Lily. I’m an asshole.” Her words caught me off guard and made me start to laugh. “What did I say? I was trying to be supportive.”

I grabbed her hands. “Love, you’re not an asshole. We just have a lot riding on this fight and—”

“And you used to always talk to your dad before a fight,” she finished.

“Yeah, I did.” Julian and Brooks were both keeping their distance. I grabbed their hands. “Listen, if you want me to be honest, here it goes. I’m scared.” Walking over to the couch in the corner of the room, I said, “I haven’t won a fight yet. I lost my chance to be an AFC fighter. My dad died. Oh, and my boyfriend is Julian fucking Moore and loved by every tabloid reporter known to mankind.”

“Why does she always say, Julian fucking Moore?” Julian glanced at Charlie.

She punched him in the arm. “You big dope, because you’re basically just as famous as her father.”

“So you feel pressure because of my history?” he asked, sitting down beside me.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Lily, you have improved in just the last several months. You know that, right?”

Just then one of the employees knocked on the door and peeked around. “Five minutes. We need you out here in two.”

This fight was going to be broadcast on TV. It wasn’t part of a fight ticket but was still considered a main event. My fight was considered the preliminary, basically in preparation for the main fight. I knew this was a big moment for me which made it that much more difficult.

“Lily,” Julian said, placing his hand on my thigh.

“I do. I just want this more than I can describe…and I want to win this one for Dad.”

“Do it for you first,” he insisted. “Then your dad.”

I placed my palm on his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Listen, this fight tonight is the first of many. Spartacus has given you an amazing opportunity to showcase your talent. Prove to them you have what it takes.”

My mind reeled back to my dad and his many pep talks before leaving the locker room. Julian didn’t realize that what he had just done felt like one of those moments. Something I needed. I stood up and grabbed my sweatshirt, throwing the hood over my head. I tapped my knuckles together. “Come on, we have a fight to win.”

“That’s my girl.” Charlie beamed.

Before heading for the door, I turned back to face Brooks and Julian. “Thank you. Brooks, I’m feeling ready to kick some ass tonight. That’s what I’m feeling.”

“Perfect,” he said, stepping in front of me to grab the handle and open the door.

“Julian,” I said, before leaving the room. “You better be visible for me. I need you.”

He slapped his hand on my ass. “Is there someplace else I’m supposed to be?” I rolled my eyes. “Good, then let’s get this first win.”

I pulled the hood farther down over my forehead, trying to hide from the barrage of reporters in my face as I made my way down the aisle leading to the octagon. I clenched my fists and channeled my frustration in the direction of helping me win this first fight.

As I approached the referees who were officiating, several people in the audience started chanting April’s name. I actually felt jealous, but I knew my time was coming. The chants would be for me someday soon.

The one ref who was tall with a low ponytail stepped in front of me. “I need you to remove your sweatshirt and shoes.” Once I had them off, I held my arms out to the side for him to do a once over and ensure I was clean before going into the ring. He checked under my braid and made me open my mouth. Then he added Vaseline to my eyebrows, under my eyes, and some on my forehead. “You’re all set,” he said, stepping aside.

I turned and hugged Julian, Charlie, Brooks, Devon, and Tyler. Then I took the four steps up to the entrance of the octagon. Putting my hands on the side of my thighs, I bowed before entering. It was a habit for me or maybe a superstition of sorts.

There was this flash of fear that threatened to surface. Instead, I threw my arms up above my head and focused on the sounds of screaming that increased as I walked around the octagon once. Since this fight was being televised, there was a difference in how each fighter was introduced. I stood by my team, waiting as April made her way toward the ring. The time it took for her to get prepped, I found myself thinking about Dad.

I was bouncing back and forth on the balls of feet when he came into focus. The intrusion caught me off guard, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Lily,” Julian said from behind me. “Focus.”

I shook my head and glanced back. “I’m here.”

Brooks grabbed my hands. “Remember what you practiced with Julian. Keep control of every limb. Keep focused on where you are at and how you are feeling.” He handed me my mouth piece.

I only nodded and watched him leave the octagon. April stepped up and started circling the ring like a caged tiger ready to attack her prey. She had this look that was hard to discern. The moment she stepped in front of me and gave me this devious grin, I knew she was in attack mode. Standing only a few feet away, she threw her arms up and soaked up the crowd’s intense screams.

The announcer introduced us, and then the referee had us tap our fists before starting the first round. We had three five-minute rounds to complete. My goal was always to try and complete a knockout in the first five minutes. My father became The Punisher for his knockout strategy.

As the bell rang for the start of round one, my body took over and fell into position. We had several moments during the five minutes where we were circling each other and not throwing as many punches. Then at what felt like the end of the round, April dropped her body and plowed forward to take me down to the mat. It was unexpected, and I knew better. My father always taught me to be ready for anything.

Right as she started to lay several punches on the side of my head and into my rib cage, the bell rang for the end of the round. I stood up and shook my head. Brooks waved me over, and I sat down on the little wooden stool. Julian stayed away, but I could see him leaning against the edge of the mat on the outside of the octagon.

Charlie handed me a water bottle. “Drink and spit.” She held up the bucket.

“You need to act on her weak spots,” Brooks said, wiping my face with a small white towel. “Remember what we talked about. She struggles with her high kicks. Don’t be afraid to lay a few on her.” The ref came over, and we had to wrap it up. “You’re looking good, Lily.”

I threw the mouth piece back in and stood up. April and I hit our fists again before starting the second round. She peered at me and mouthed, “You’re going down.” I didn’t expect that. My reaction was not planned, but I laughed and stepped away. Then the bell rang, and I surprised everyone by turning my body and landing a high kick in her direction. More specifically, the kick hit her squarely on her jaw. She didn’t have time to react, her bell was rung immediately. She tumbled back, and her body fell to the mat like a rag doll.

I stood there for moment unable to breathe. The screams around me got louder, and Charlie wrapped her arms around me. “Did I just knock her out?” I said still out of breath.

“Out cold,” she yelled.

My mind was racing. What had I done? I ran over and knelt down beside April. “Is she okay?” Then her eyes opened, and you could tell she was trying to figure out where she was at. “April.”

She reached her hand toward me. When we clasped our hands, she pulled me down close and said, “Good fight.”

Seconds later, I was lifted up by Brooks, and he helped place a T-shirt over my head. It had the Fight It Out logo on the front. Every time I would attempt to say something, I was moved in another direction. Now the referee had a hold of April and my hands as the announcer was giving the results of the fight. Right before he said the winner, I felt my dad standing next to Julian. It was almost as if he nodded his approval in Julian’s direction, which felt odd. Before I could dissect that image, my hand was raised high up in the air.

I had just won my first fight and with a knockout.

Dad would be proud.

“Where did you learn to kick like that?” Devon said as we walked back into the locker room.

“Holy shit, Lily,” Brooks said beside me. “That kick was gorgeous.”

“Um, confession.” I was pacing the length of the room, still wound up and unable to settle. “I have never thrown a kick like that before.” I stopped moving. “I mean, I have kicked but not like that.”

“Fuck,” Brooks breathed. “Well, we need to continue building on that hidden talent of yours.”

When I first started fighting, my father had me focus more on Jiu Jitsu style of fighting. My time down on the mat was where I was most comfortable. Which was why my struggle with the triangle choke pissed me off. Then later on, when I was around fifteen, Dad had me learn Muay Thai. It wasn’t my main style of fighting, but I understood it. That knockout kick surprised me even with all my training.

“I want more of that,” I teased. “That was fun.”

The room erupted in laughter at my statement. Julian smiled and walked over to where I was still pacing and burning a hole in the carpet. Right as he was about to wrap his arms around my waist, there was a knock on the door. He stepped back.

“Is Lily Waters available?” I heard a woman’s voice on the other side of the door.

Devon stepped out to see who it was and when he came back in glanced my way. “It’s the woman from MMA Journal.”

“Candace,” I scowled. He only nodded.

After my talk with Candace and her offer for an exclusive, I pretty much just dropped the subject all together. I wasn’t in the mood to discuss my relationship with Julian, and I sure as shit wasn’t ready to discuss my father with a damn reporter. My main focus over last few weeks was my fight. Everything else was just noise.

Julian grabbed my bicep and stopped me before my hand touched the door handle. “You don’t have to tell her jack shit.”

“I know.”

“Lily.”

I turned my body to face him. “I know. It’s okay, I promise.”

He didn’t say anything, and that was okay because I needed to get my head in the game. My goal was to keep a straight face, look focused, and not let her see when she struck a nerve. This life my dad helped me create was my own. I wasn’t about to let Candace tear it all down.