“Hey, Dad.” I rested my hands on the rope lining the ring. “Do you feel ready to practice with me?” After a fight, I needed to get back in the ring immediately and figure out what went wrong. Then my team and I always looked at ways to tweak my positions.

After the incident, my dad stayed in the hospital for two days but then insisted he needed to get home. I’m not sure what he was running home to, but after several terse words, the doctor caved.

The doc made me promise to keep a close watch on him, but this was The Punisher we were talking about. He did not want me to stay at his house. If I called, he made it clear it better be about a fight or what’s for dinner. It almost felt like he wanted to forget about what the doctor told him that night.

But the truth was Dad’s CT scan showed he had a tumor in his frontal lobe. It was more than likely the headaches were because of the size of the damn thing. It was hard to know how long it had been there, especially because he had no signs or symptoms leading up to the collapse.

“No, I think I’ll just watch today.” He smiled and sat down on the bench.

I noticed Jake walk over and sit down next to him. Pushing off the rope, I headed over to the center of the ring and started to practice solo. As their voices became higher than my music blasting in my ears, I pulled out my earbuds and turned. Dad was inches from Jake, and his face was the color of a ripe tomato.

“Dad, you okay?” I yelled.

“Lily, this guy keeps talking about your fight and where you need to improve.”

“Okay, he should be doing that.”

He looked up at me with wide eyes. “Who is he?”

It felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. “Dad, that’s my manager.”

“I thought that was my job?”

Something felt off. “You help and I always rely on your input.”

“But.”

“But, Jake is my manager. You insisted we hire him two years ago. You don’t remember?”

He sat back down on the bench and rested his head in his hands. “No, I don’t,” he whispered.

I jumped down from the ring and made my way over. I rested my hand on his thigh. “Hey, it’s okay. Do you want me to take you home?”

He sounded distant when he finally spoke. “No, I’ll be fine.” As he stood up to leave, he turned and looked at me. “Your mom would love to see you. Will you be stopping by soon?”

I sucked in a breath, unable to speak. His words caught me off guard. My mom died when I was fourteen. “You sure you’re okay to drive?”

“I’m fine.” He insisted.

“Um, okay.” I felt a little unsure at my decision to let him leave on his own. “I’ll stop by tonight. How does that sound?”

“Good, that would be good.” He smiled and turned to leave.

“Lily,” Jake was behind me. “What was that all about?”

It was time to tell everyone the truth.

Rubbing my hands together and clearing my throat, I stood up and faced my team. They had gathered around most likely because my dad’s actions were confusing.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So,” I started to say. “Shit.”

“Lily, just spit it out,” Jake said. “The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

I knew he was right, but my pause was because it was me who had to finally admit the true reality of the situation. Denial was such an easier friend to have.

“Yeah, okay, spitting it out.” I lifted my head and glanced at everyone’s faces. “Dad has a brain tumor.”

The room went silent.

Charlie had just walked into the gym. “What did I miss?”

“I’m letting them know about Dad.”

“Oh, Lils.” She dropped her bag down in the middle of the room. “Sweetie.” She pulled my body in and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Hey.” Jake nudged my side. “So what now?”

“The tumor he has is too big and it’s inoperable,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Which means what?” one of the fighters asked.

“We wait.” I stepped out of Charlie’s hold and made my way back into the ring. “Anyone up for another round?”

No one said a word.

“Okay, fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Here’s the thing. I don’t know how to absorb this. Like, it doesn’t feel real yet.” I lifted my head. “I do need to let these emotions out somehow. So, anyone willing to be that fighter?”

“Yeah, I will,” Jake said, stepping forward. “Whatever you need.”

That was the first time I did not have the desire to punch my manager.

“Lily, hey,” Jake said, grabbing a hold of my arm.

“What,” I barked and pulled out of his grasp.

“Hey, you’re exhausted. Why don’t you take a break?”

I don’t know what had come over me. I felt angry. Not at Jake but at the world. Seeing my dad in that state of mind shook me to my core. He’d always been my rock. The one person I knew I could count on for anything.

As I threw each punch, I let my mind wander back to high school when I’d won my first fight. My dad had been there yelling different cues even then. Every fight had always been with him.

My body felt spent. Every muscle ached. Yet, I didn’t want to stop because I knew the moment I stopped, I would feel again.

“Let’s just get some water.” Jake stepped away.

“Whatever.” I jumped out of the ring and went over to the heavy bag. I let my body take over, landing one punch after another on the leather surface.

“Need help?” Charlie wrapped her arms around the bag to steady it.

I didn’t say a word

“You know, it is wine o’clock.”

“What?” I said, breathing heavily.

“Well, you have been at this for two hours.” Charlie shrugged. “I was thinking a plate of nachos and a tall glass of wine might make you feel better.”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“It was just a suggestion.”

“But the nachos.”

She burst out laughing. “Those got your attention? You are off your diet and have a little wiggle room to splurge.”

I brushed the back of my hand across my forehead trying to get the sweat out of my eyes.

It felt quiet, almost too quiet. Glancing around, I noticed everyone was gone. “Where is everybody?”

“Jake sent them home.”

“Why?”

“He figured you needed some time alone.”

I plopped down on the mat and crossed my legs in front of me. “I don’t know what to do, C?”

She sat down opposite me. “About what?”

“I feel helpless.”

“Oh, sweetie, but you’re not.”

“I just know if I stop for one moment the thought of losing Dad rolls into me like a tidal wave. I don’t know if I want to feel it yet.”

“Have you spent much time with him?”

“No, but in my defense he also doesn’t want me there.”

“Lils, you have to talk to him. Don’t have any regrets.

“I already do.”

“About what?”

“I lost my last fight, and it may be the last one with my dad.”

“But you don’t know that.”

She was right, I didn’t. I still felt scared to let go.