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Use Me by Kimberly Knight (22)


It’s crazy to think that one night and a decision to walk to the closest bar instead of going nuclear on a bitch was the best decision I’d ever made.

Ever. Made.

I can’t even think what my life would be like without Ashtyn in it. Sure, I might be dating—might even have another girlfriend—but I knew that she was the best thing to ever happen to me. I knew it in my soul. I knew it in my bones. I knew it in the core of my being.

I just hoped she felt the same way too.

While Ashtyn was at work and I was watching her broadcast, I grabbed my laptop and started to search for homes for sale. She’d mentioned finding a place with a fireplace, and I wanted that too. I didn’t want to remind her that she had one in her condo because it was clear that she never wanted to sleep there again. I would be more than happy for her to permanently move in with me and why not buy something to share? However, in a few months, we wouldn’t even need a fireplace because the weather would start warming up. Maybe we needed a place with a pool and a fireplace. The best of both worlds.

But would I be willing to sell my condo and buy something together? Would she? What if we broke up? Of course, I never wanted to break up, but sometimes fate has other plans.

I had to be smart about this.

A few hours later, a key in the lock turned, and Ashtyn walked in.

“Hey, Cupcake.”

“Hey.”

“How was work?”

“Counting the days down until I get home at a decent hour.” She shrugged out of her coat and hung it on the hook by the door.

“Speaking of, you still want to go to a game?”

Ashtyn smiled. “Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll get you and the girls some tickets.”

The Blackhawk games usually started about seven-thirty at night. When Ashtyn moved to the evening news, she’d be able to make it to the game on time if she went straight from work. I, of course, had to do my shows and wouldn’t be able to join her but she could have a girl’s night.

“I’m so excited!” she exclaimed and sat next to me on the couch.

I kissed the side of her head, my laptop still on my lap from doing shit the last few hours. She was finally starting to be her old self again. I could tell by the way she was no longer scared to be alone. And she hadn’t mentioned any more flowers being delivered or people stalking her. Hopefully, all the crazy people were in our past.

“You going to shower and get ready for bed?”

“In a few minutes. I just want to cuddle with you.”

“We can cuddle in bed.” I smirked.

Ashtyn grinned. “I know, but give me a few minutes to unwind.”

“Okay. While you’re resting, I have a question.”

“What’s that?”

I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. “Were you serious the other day when you said we should get a place with a fireplace?”

Ashtyn tilted her head slightly and bit her lip. “Well …”

I set the laptop on the coffee table and turned to face her. “If I tell you that I want to, would you agree?”

She nodded and didn’t speak.

“Good because I think we should.”

“Yeah?” She grinned.

“But I’m not saying we should get rid of our condos.”

“I don’t understand.” She furrowed her brows.

I grabbed her hand and brushed my thumb across the back. “We practically live together now, and while I want us to keep coming home to each other every night, I’m not sure selling our places would be the right decision.”

“Oh.” Ashtyn frowned.

I smiled, trying to put her at ease. “I’m not saying I don’t want to. I think that if we can afford it, we should find a place that’s ours and rent out our condos. I think we can rent them out for more than our mortgages, and if two of us are paying a mortgage on a house—”

“A house?”

I nodded. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t need this scene anymore,” I stated, meaning living in the city and having everything within walking distance.

“So, you want to move to the suburbs?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, but only if we find a house with a pool and a fireplace.”

She thought for a moment. “You know what I was thinking?”

“What’s that?”

Ashtyn grinned. “The same thing. Well, I wasn’t thinking of renting out my condo, but I think you’re right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I stood, pulling Ashtyn with me. “Good. Now let’s make sure we fuck in every inch of this place before we move.”

The snow was falling—again. It was cold as fuck, and yet my dumb ass had agreed with my friends that going on a fucking yacht for New Year’s Eve would be fun. But Kenny had come across an ad for a Speakeasy cruise and wanted us to go. Besides ringing in the new year with my girl, I was looking forward to the poker tournament that was being held on the boat. The guys and I had practiced for years, though we didn’t know that we had been practicing. I wasn’t sure how the boat was going to be set up for the tournament, but I hoped that at the final table my friends and I would be playing each other. At least then I could read their tells and have more of a chance of walking away with some money.

I was dressed in a black pinstriped suit, a black button-down shirt, a red tie, black and white Oxfords and a black and white fedora. I legit felt like I was a gangster. Maybe dressing up in a getup from the twenties wasn’t all that bad. Plus, the way Ashtyn looked …

She was dressed in a gold, satin evening gown that clasped around her neck. The material hugged every inch of her curves, but what I couldn’t stop staring at was her bare shoulders. There was something about the way the curve of her neck sloped to her slender shoulders that made my mouth water and call my name. All I wanted to do was run my tongue along every inch of her skin and not stop until we were both naked and sated.

But there was no time for that.

“Ready, Cupcake?”

She grabbed her clutch. “Yep.”

We took an Uber down to Navy Pier and met up with Kenny, Jett, Clark, and Abby. Everyone was dressed as though the year had changed back to a time where alcohol was illegal, and there were a lot of underground clubs where you could drink and play cards. Most of the women were dressed in flapper dresses, but I preferred the way Ashtyn’s gown hugged her curves, though I wouldn’t mind a knee-high flapper dress I could slip my hand under.

“Isn’t this the same boat we took for the booze cruise?” Ashtyn asked as we all walked aboard.

“Sure is.”

“Maybe they’ll have Jenga set up so Abs and I can play something.”

“You don’t want to watch me win?” I smirked.

“I’m winning tonight,” Kenny stated.

“Please. You lose every week,” Jett put in.

“There can only be three winners, and tonight one of them is me,” Clark stated. He was right. There would only be a first, second and third place. Third place would walk away with five hundred bucks, second would take a grand and first place was getting five thousand.

I rolled my eyes. “You fools know I’m the better player.”

“While I would love to see you four have a catfight, I would love a drink more,” Ashtyn indicated.

“Right,” I agreed. “Let’s get a drink then figure out the dinner situation.”

Dinner was in our bellies, and a few drinks had been consumed by the time the tournament started. There were ninety-nine of us playing for first place.

There were eleven tables, each with nine players. There were six tables on the bottom level, five on the middle level and the final table on the upper level. The winner from each table would move to the main event, so the final table would consist of eleven people. The seats were chosen randomly, and I was at a table with Clark. I won.

“You’re going to the final table?” Ashtyn asked, a huge smile on her face.

“Of course I am.”

She shoved my shoulder. “Don’t be so cocky.”

“I play every week, Cupcake. It’s like second nature to me.”

“Isn’t it the luck of the cards?” Abby asked. She and Ashtyn had watched our game for the past hour or so until I’d won.

“There’s more than just luck. You need to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.” And now that song is stuck in my head. “Plus,” I leaned closer and whispered, “I’m a good bluffer.”

“A good bullshitter he means,” Clark chimed in.

“Don’t be mad ‘cause you lost.”

He snorted. “I’ll get you back next week.”

“Right.” I grinned.

“Do you ladies want to grab another drink while we wait?” I asked.

“You guys don’t want to see how Kenny and Jett are doing?” Ashtyn asked.

I shook my head. “Nah, I don’t want to distract them. Let them do their thing.”

We made it to a bar on the top deck, and each ordered a drink. A couple of minutes later, Jett walked up.

“Well?” I asked.

“Beat ‘em.”

I nodded my approval. “I won too.”

He looked at Clark, and Clark shrugged. “Asshole cheats.”

I laughed. “I don’t fucking cheat. You suck.”

“Let’s go tour the boat,” Ashtyn said to Abby. “Let the boys compare—”

“Watch it, Cupcake. You know what happened last time we were on this boat.”

She slowly turned her head toward me and narrowed her eyes, but before she could respond, Kenny walked up.

“Who do I get to beat at the final table?”

“Me,” Jett answered.

“And me,” I affirmed.

Kenny looked at Clark, and Clark shook his head. “Rhys cheats.”

“Dude, I don’t cheat.”

My gaze turned to watch Ashtyn walk away. When I said that her dress hugged every curve, I meant it. Watching her ass sway in the satin was causing my dick to strain in my pants. It didn’t help that this was a boat where we’d once fucked in the bathroom. I still craved her like warm soup on a cold night.

Kenny moved next to me and leaned in as he whispered, “You gonna hook me up with Abby?”

“I’ll talk to my girl.”

“You’re a true best friend.”

“Yep,” I agreed.

“You gonna let me win later too?”

“Nope.”

“I need to look good for Abby.”

I laughed. “You’re gonna need more help than winning at cards.”

The key to having better odds of winning was to not be drunk when it was time for the final table. The problem was, the moment he walked into the room, I wished I was wasted off my ass.

My body went rigid, and anger laced through my veins.

Corey Fucking Pritchett walked into the room and moved toward the final table. I didn’t know where Ashtyn was and that was probably for the best because I didn’t want her to witness me losing my shit. The last time I saw Corey, I was alone and knew if he tried something, I would more than likely get my ass kicked. Now I had my boys with me, and there was nowhere to go. We had at least two more hours on the cruise, and now that I knew Corey was on the same boat, it was going to be the longest two hours of my life.

I narrowed my eyes in his direction, wishing looks could kill. He looked around the table after sitting, and when his gaze met mine, recognition registered on his face.

He smirked.

He fucking smirked at me, and I wanted to do nothing more than fly across the table and beat his ass.

“Cole,” he said dryly.

“Pritchett,” I clipped. I could feel my friends look at me, but I didn’t take my death glare off of Corey.

“Didn’t know you were here.”

“Same.”

I watched a woman move up behind him and place her hand on his shoulder. She leaned down and asked, “Can I get you anything to drink, sweetie?”

Sweetie? She has no clue.

Fuck! Where was Ashtyn?

I wanted Corey to see me with her. To know that I was winning because Ashtyn was mine. I was dating someone everyone knew and not this chick who looked like she stood on street corners. Okay, that might be a little harsh because I didn’t know this woman, but she was dating my bully from high school, so all cruel names were a go.

I watched him look up at her and have no emotion whatsoever. He looked at her as though she was hired or that he knew nothing about her other than maybe her name. I’d bet it was Cinnamon or some shit. So I decided to do what my mother taught me. I was going to kill him with kindness.

“Yeah, bring me a Jack and Coke, will ya?”

“Anything for you.” She kissed his cheek and then his attention moved back to me.

“You know this guy?” Kenny asked, hooking his thumb in Corey’s direction.

I smiled. I fucking smiled as though Corey and I were fucking bros. “Yeah. Corey and I go back to high school.”

“You going to introduce us?” Jett asked.

No. That thought had never crossed my mind. Fine. I sighed and did the introductions. Everyone else at the table took that to mean we were getting to know each other and the other six people shook hands. I didn’t fucking touch the asshole sitting across from me.

The dealer shuffled the cards and dealt out two to each of us. Pocket kings. Fuck yeah. I slow played my starting hand, only calling one of the guy’s bets. Kenny, Jett, and Corey all called as well. The others folded. The dealer turned over three cards: two of spades, ten of hearts and king of clubs.

I didn’t show any emotion as I stared at the cards, knowing I had a three of a kind. It helped that I was pissed. Never in my life had I thought I’d run into this asshole, and now within a month or so, I’d run into him twice.

Twice.

The original better bet again and the rest of us called. The dealer turned over a two of hearts. I had a full house.

As I contemplated how much to bet, Ashtyn walked in through the door that led outside. It was as though everything was right in my world. We smiled at each other as our gazes met and then, just as I was grabbing chips to raise, Corey spoke and changed my entire world with one word.

“Ashtyn?”

I watched her turn at her name, and it felt as though a knife was being stabbed in my heart. “Corey?” she asked. Clearly, she knew who he was.

I went all in, not caring about slow playing anymore. As I watched the exchange, not reading my opponents, Corey smiled and spoke to Ashtyn as though he couldn’t care less about the game. “I had no idea you were at this party.”

The knife went an inch deeper.

“Now I wish I wasn’t.”

My gaze snapped to Ashtyn. She seemed to get along with everyone. Plus, being in the public eye, you had to put on a smile even when you wanted to stab someone in the eye, especially now that everything can be live streamed. How did she know this jackass?

“Aw, don’t be like that.” Corey folded his cards, throwing them in the center of the table.

Ashtyn’s gaze turned to me, and I asked, “Are you okay?” I didn’t know what was going on other than I was starting to think we both hated this guy. But why did she?

“Remember the last time we were on this boat?” she asked me.

I nodded. “Yeah …”

“Now it’s my turn to run into my ex.”

The knife in my heart twisted and caused the most tormenting pain I’d ever felt as I realized the one person I hated the most used to date the one person I love the most in the world.

I needed to get away from the table.

I actually wanted to jump off the boat and swim to shore so I could be alone, but that wasn’t logical or plausible.

Corey Fucking Pritchett was her ex. He knew what it was like to hold her. Taste her. Hear her moans. He’d been inside of her, inside of what’s mine. My heart that was sliced in two was trying to leave my chest. Pressure tightened around the area, and I felt as though I was going to keel over and die. I wanted to die knowing someone so evil could be loved by someone so sweet. What did that say about her loving me?

I looked at the table and noticed my friends were still in. “One of you call me.”

“What?” Jett asked.

“I’m folding after the river.”

“What are you doing? You’re just going to tell us to bet it all and hope you fold?” Kenny asked.

“I’m trying to give you all my money.”

“What?” Jett and Kenny said in unison. I saw Clark beside Ashtyn and Abby eyeing me as though I had two heads. Maybe I did, and that was why Ashtyn loved me because she had once loved the devil.

“I need to get out of here.” My gaze moved to Ashtyn, and she furrowed her brow, probably wondering why I was having this sort of reaction toward her ex. Maybe she assumed I’d thrown the chance of winning five grand away so I could fuck her in the bathroom to make her forget Corey. That wasn’t the case. I needed to get as far away as possible given we were on a fucking boat.

The guys stared at each other as my leg bobbed up and down, waiting impatiently for them to decide what to do. In the end, Kenny called me, and Jett folded.

The dealer turned over a four of spades, and without hesitation, I folded, throwing my cards in the center of the table. Then I stood, needing to get fresh air. Ashtyn moved to me, but Corey spoke and stopped me from walking out the door.

“You two dating?”

I jerked my head toward him. “That’s none of your business.”

Corey smirked. “Only fitting you get my leftovers.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He grinned. “Aww, I’m ruffling your feathers. You going to run home to Mommy?”

“Leave him alone, Corey,” Ashtyn hissed.

“Your girlfriend fighting your battles?”

“Is that what you think?” I laughed.

“Doesn’t matter. She was only a hole to stick my dick in.”

I snapped.

My hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, and I was in Corey’s face. My hat fell off my head as I roared, “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Whoa!” I heard behind me, and arms started to try and pull me away from Corey. I didn’t budge.

“Security’s gonna throw you out, dude,” Kenny stated.

I glared at Corey. “Not likely since we’re in the middle of the fucking lake. How about I throw you overboard instead?”

“Sir,” someone else said. I didn’t know who. Didn’t care who it was.

“You think you can talk about my woman like that?” I hissed.

“She was mine first.”

“Sir,” someone said again. I ignored them, still with Corey’s shirt in my grip and hands trying to pull me back.

Realization dawned on me as I processed his words. It didn’t matter that he was hers first because I was with her now and I fucking loved the shit out of her. “And I’m the one who’s going to be with her the rest of her life.” I pushed him back as I released his shirt. When I turned around, Ashtyn’s gaze met mine, and I honestly didn’t know what to do at that moment. I was angry, and it wasn’t toward her, but I wanted to be alone.

“Sir.” I heard again and turned to see a woman dressed in a pantsuit with a radio in her hand. “We’re going to need you to leave this room.”

“Already planning on it,” I clipped as I picked up my hat and walked out the door. The cold air hit my face, but it wasn’t enough to cool me off. I needed another drink. I heard heels behind me.

“Rhys.”

I turned and looked over my shoulder, seeing Ashtyn. “Not now.”

“Are you mad at me?”

I stopped walking and turned to face her. “No, but I want to be alone right now.”

“I’m not going back to him,” she stated.

“I know,” I sighed. At least I’d hoped that was the case.

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry. He was only running his mouth because he’s an asshole who thinks he’s God’s gift.”

I sighed again, trying to calm down. “Can we talk about this later? I really need a fucking drink.”

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

Ashtyn started to walk away, but I grabbed her wrist, halting her. I stepped closer to her and cupped her face tenderly. “I’m not mad at you, but he’s a part of my past too.”

Her eyes widened. “How?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need a drink, and then I need to be alone for a few minutes while I process everything.”

“Why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m not trying to push you away. I just need to gather my thoughts.”

Her emerald eyes stared into my blue ones, and it was her turn to sigh. “Okay, but we’re good?”

I smiled. “Of course. Just give me some time.”

“Okay. I’ll go back to Abby and then come find you when it’s almost midnight.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. “Thank you. And don’t worry about me. It’s nothing whiskey can’t fix.”

Ashtyn smirked. “I think we’re supposed to have sex right now.”

I nodded my understanding. “While I would love to bring you down to the bathroom where we fucked before, I think we’ve passed that stage. Don’t you?”

“You’re right. My future is you.”

“And my future is you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll see you in a few.” She went to turn, but I stopped her again by grabbing ahold of her wrist.

“Talk to Abby about Kenny.”

“What about him?”

I grinned. “He wants us to hook them up.”

Ashtyn’s eyes widened. “He likes her?”

“I think he thinks she’s cute. Not sure they’ve even spoken more than a few words to each other.”

“This makes me excited. I’ve wanted to hook her up with someone.”

“Good. Go talk to her, and I’m going to get a drink.”

I kissed her again and then she left while I turned back in the direction of the bar. By the time I got there, I was already relaxed, but I still needed to process that the love of my life used to date the guy who beat me up in high school.

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