Chapter Forty-Six
Josh
With her ass in the air, her body poised to accept him, Josh marveled at her beauty and submission. He was overwhelmed by her willingness to please him, by her desperation to give him back his sanity by whatever means necessary. But what she didn’t realize and what she needed to understand was that the life he’d had, his need for mindless, impersonal fucks was no more.
He felt her tremble beneath him, immediately triggering his own orgasm. It wasn’t until she had milked him of every last drop did he pull away from her. He knew he should feel guilty for not using protection, but he didn’t. Because she belonged to him.
He gathered her into his arms and held her until their breathing returned to normal. His hands were still shaking as he caressed her back. There were no words for what he felt, just that he knew he could never live without this woman. He prayed to all that was holy that she felt the same.
“I love you, Carina.”
She lifted her head off his chest. Tousled hair framed her face and her already flushed cheeks turned crimson. She leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was sweet and leisurely at first, but it quickly grew heated and he felt his cock stand at attention, despite the recent activity.
It didn’t take long for her to notice that he wanted her again. She threw the sheet aside and straddled him. Her full breasts were unbound and tempting. He sat up and she wrapped her legs around him. His concern that she may have resented the fact that he had taken her without using a condom last time was laid to rest when she lifted her hips and impaled herself on his cock. She was so hot and incredibly wet due to the fact that his semen still remained inside her. Knowing that she was filled with his seed and that he was going to release inside her once more made him ravenous with desire.
Starving for her, he mashed his lips into hers and she moaned against him. He gripped her ass and established a rhythm that had them both screaming. “I love you,” he said again, pumping into her. His climax coincided with hers and she returned the words. But it was the ‘always’ she added to the ‘I love you’ that had his mind spinning. His thoughts were consumed with images of Carina adorned in white, promising him forever and giving him the family he had always dreamed of.
***
Carina
Carina rolled over and felt the indentation in the mattress with her fingertips. It was cool to the touch and she sat straight up. She peered over at the clock on the nightstand and noticed that she had been asleep for hours. Carina stood and left the bedroom in search of Josh. She crept quietly toward the living room just in case Josh had fallen asleep on the couch, and halted abruptly when she heard a young child giggle. Perched on the edge of the couch and looking nowhere near tired, Josh was watching two young children on the television. The girl, who couldn’t have been more than eight years old, was playing the piano and the boy, who appeared to be similar in age, was singing beautifully. Carina recognized the song immediately. Dean Martin was one of her mother’s favorite singers and she listened to him often, especially while she cooked.
Carina was so entranced with the dynamic duo, she hadn’t noticed that Josh had spotted her. “Hey, come here,” he said, holding out his arms.
Thankful that he didn’t find her rude for spying on him, she rushed over and fell into his embrace. He held her tight and then let out a chuckle when the little girl scolded the boy for singing off key on purpose. Carina was drawn to the boy and his striking blue eyes.
“Julia, it’s time for a cookie break. I’m starving.” The boy stood and walked toward the camera.
“Lady Jane says you’re going to turn into a cookie if you don’t watch it, Josh,” the girl spat. But she wasn’t upset with him. She was giggling as she rapped on the piano keys the few seconds before the screen went dark.
Carina felt Josh sigh behind her. “She could be feisty when she wanted to be, but always talented, always full of life,” he said.
Carina sat in his arms and for the next hour he talked about the sister he had lost. Some stories were funny, while others brought on memories that he struggled to put into words. But she knew he needed this and by the time he was through, Carina had a firm understanding of the childhood he’d had and the type of family he had always longed for. She also got a glimpse of what his relationship was like with his sister and the closeness they had shared. Carina couldn’t imagine what it had been like for him to lose Julia, the one person who knew him better than anyone in the world.
“I didn’t know you could sing,” Carina said after one of the more lighthearted stories.
“Not many people do. It was sort of a hobby growing up. Lady Jane would get a kick out of watching Julia and me perform and would often videotape us. I used to think she made those movies to frustrate us or to use as blackmail when we got older, but now…well, I’m glad she had kept that tape rolling. I want to remember the Julia from these videos, not the one from my nightmares.”
“Josh, why do you think your mother left you this DVD?” Carina couldn’t help but ask. Considering the exchange in his living room, it seemed out of character and too human a gesture to bestow such a sentimental gift on her son.
“It’s like she said, Carina. Sadly, she has no use for it. She would never feel compelled to watch it, to remember her daughter. Ava Graham is not built that way.”
“Then why go out of her way to give it to you? Especially after you told her that you’re choosing medicine over your father’s company?” Carina asked.
“Truthfully, I think she gave it to me because she thought it would hurt me. Kind of like her final opportunity to stick it to me. Lady Jane warned me that she would be paying me a visit. My mother knows that a trust fund Lady Jane had set up will be available to me next month. At that point, I will have no need to rely on my parents financially, not that I do now. Lady Jane didn’t want money, or the lack thereof, to stand in the way of my dream of being a doctor.”
Carina cringed at Josh’s theory. Could a mother be that cold and heartless?
“But her reason for giving me the DVD doesn’t matter,” he said. Carina looked up at him. The optimism in his voice gave her hope that he would embrace what his mother had attempted to destroy. “Because, like she said, I will treasure these memories until my dying day.”