Cassi

This was a mistake.

I escaped from the tub with shaky legs.

This would be a terrible mistake.

I wrapped only a robe around my body, dripping with soap and desire and every aching urge to be close to Rem once more. Wrapped in his arms. Surrendering to his touch, his voice, the promises we never made and would never have kept.

Rem wasn’t in the house. I grabbed my phone and set the nest cam to keep an eye on the kids, both sound asleep. That meant no interruptions. Nothing to stop me now.

He’d gone outside. Rem leaned against the porch railing, staring into a cool, dark night with only the moonlight above. The thick canopy of the trees rustled with a quiet breeze. Everything was still. Waiting. Listening.

But I had nothing to say.

Nothing that I hadn’t longed to speak and knew better than to voice.

He hadn’t put on a shirt, just barely had buckled his jeans. Droplets of water rolled over the muscles of his back. The drips teased low, chasing the colors of his tattoos before gathering at the hem of his jeans. His solid abs tightened as hard as the bulge in his jeans. He ran a hand along the trim of his beard.

His eyes stared—hungry, but so sad.

Why were we doing this to each other?

The teasing. The flirting. The denial.

It meant everything and nothing. It pulled us apart only to slam us together with unquenched need. He’d asked to forget the past, but it wasn’t the past that scared me. It was the future.

What would happen if I never let him close? If I never got over him?

What would happen if I walked away from this, our last chance?

This was a mistake.

I dropped my robe to the porch and kicked it away.

His gaze feasted over me, but he shook his head. “Cassi…”

I didn’t let him protest. Not now. Now when I knew what we both needed. More than words. More than excuses. More than stories about a past we should have shared.

The only thing that mattered was this moment.

And I wouldn’t let anything take it away from us.

I didn’t have to say a word. Rem was on me within a single breath. A ragged, guttural growl surged from his throat, and he took me in his arms.

I’d waited years for this kiss.

And I surrendered completely to it.

His lips nibbled over mine—a commanding and raging excitement that shuddered us both in a thrill of conquest. His hardness pressed into the bare skin of my belly. The thought sizzled through me, reigniting the pleasure still smoldering from the last explosion.

Nothing had ever felt as good or as right as his touch.

At least, nothing until now.

I’d waited far too long and lost entirely too much time. Tonight was ours, and the shadows of our past would forever fade in the glow of our passion.

He walked me backwards, aiming for the porch swing. I didn’t let him push me down. Not now. Not after the pleasure he’d already delivered to me. If I savored any more touches, kisses or teasing, I’d be lost in my own demanding need. The only thing I wanted was him—his taste, his desire, the feel of him finally in my hands, in my mouth, inside of me.

I pushed him down. He sat with a grin, all too eager and yet patient.

“You have no idea what you do to me, Cas.”

“I can take a guess.”

I unzipped his jeans and stared at the most wild, uncivilized part of him. I swallowed my own amazement. His hardness jutted upwards, thick and pulsing so intensely it must have been painful. I’d felt him in the tub, pressing against me, heated and raw.

How many times had he almost taken me now?

How many nights had he gone to bed just as demoralized, just as desperate and aching as me?

No more.

I knelt before him. Rem breathed a soft profanity.

“You don’t have…”

Oh, but I wanted to. I grinned and took his cock in my hands. First one I’d ever held, and the only one I’d ever wanted to touch. Rem flinched as I curled my hands around the base. He didn’t fit, even with both fists stacked.

That probably should have scared me away. But this curiosity would get me in far greater trouble.

I leaned down, unsure but encouraged by the rasping hiss of his breathing. My tongue darted out, circling the head of his cock. Rem swore. Good enough for me. Another lick. A soft kiss. I glanced up at him, voice a soft whisper.

“Am I doing this right?”

“There’s not a goddamned thing you could do wrong now.”

“So…this is good?” I popped the head in my mouth. Salty and warm. He tasted like raw, primal excitement, and his shiver traced over my own body and centered in my core. I mumbled over his length. “That’s what you like?”

“Fuck…”

I took that as a yes and dipped lower over his shaft.

How in the world was a girl supposed to take a man like him? He was thick. Hard. His cock was almost an angry, fierce spear of flesh. It pulsed in my mouth, waiting for a chance to strike a lot lower and far deeper. My tummy clenched. The wetness should have shamed me, but my body only did what came naturally when so close to this man.

This perfect, sexy man.

His body tensed, every muscle tight with a thrilling need. His abs flexed. His biceps flared as he gripped the chain of the porch swing with his huge, callused hands. Skilled hands. Hands that knew exactly where to touch me, how to tease me, and how to shatter me in a quick and unbelievably intense orgasm that should have left me in a puddle in the bathroom.

Except I wanted more.

I deserved more.

Five years of waiting. Of longing. Of wishing things had been different. But only a fool wished for change. If I wanted him—if I wanted the past we should have had and the future we both dreamed about—then I had to take it for myself.

I had to forgive him.

Or at least…forget what had happened.

One of these was far easier than the other with his cock in my mouth, his hands in my hair, and his groans filling me with desire.

His hardness twitched. A quick pulse shot through his body. Rem pushed me away, his smile a wicked and knowing tease.

“Need more than your mouth tonight, Cassi,” he said. “And I know you do too.”

He pulled me to my feet, but he didn’t let me stay still. He swept me into his arms and carried me to the porch railing, setting me down and spreading my legs so he could slip between.

“No more games,” he said. “No more imagining.”

“I want you,” I breathed.

“I’ve always needed you.” His finger trailed along my slit.

I didn’t hold back this time. The pleasure crashed over me, and I bit my lip to keep from groaning.

The slickness opened my petals, and he circled my clit once more

“But you’re…you waited,” he said.

“For you.”

“Are you sure you want to give me this?”

“I’ve always wanted it to be you.”

He stared down at me, voice hoarse. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Not true. We deserve this. Maybe just once. Maybe forever. It doesn’t matter.” I reached for him, my fingers tickling the tattooed sunflower over his heart. “Let’s have tonight. Now. You and me. Forget the past. Forget the future. Forget everything.”

Rem grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’ll ever forget this night.”

He kissed me, edging closer, drawing my hips towards him. His beard tickled my cheek as my head rolled back, granting him access to the soft skin of my neck. He nibbled along my collarbone and stroked himself. I flinched as the head of his cock teased my slit. The sensations burst through me.

“It’s…you’re…big.” I whispered. “Are you certain it’ll fit?”

“That’s the fun of it.”

Sure…but I was me, and he was…

Huge.

Rem had become a mass of muscle and strength and raw power born of the wilderness. He’d not only lived within nature, he’d conquered it. Nothing about him was tamed. His kisses were gentle, but that wasn’t him anymore. He’d lived a tough, hard life.

Now, he was rugged. Strong, fierce, and commanding. He stood before me more animal than man with a hardened cock and years of pent up aggression and desire that twitched the thick shaft jutting from between his legs.

“I’ve wanted you forever, Cas,” he said.

“Then take me. Make me yours.”

His grin faded. A dark sensuality masked his features, wild and ravenous. “If I take you, I won’t be letting you go. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not ever.”

Nothing had ever sounded so wonderful. “I’m yours, Rem.”

“Waited forever to hear you whisper that.”

If this was a mistake, it was the best mistake I’d ever made.

Rem held me close with one arm, his other hand stroking the length of his pulsing cock. Once. Twice. He stared down at me with a quiet, possessive growl.

He pushed.

Slow at first. Oh, so slow and carefully. A gentle, tenacious pressure that opened me to him. Just a slight movement at first. He rubbed the head along my slick folds and moved his hips inward.

He filled me. Inch by inch, a dangerously intense pleasure of fullness that impaled me. I gasped, gripping his shoulders, his arms, any of the strong, knotted muscles that might have protected me from the delicious shivers racing through my core.

I tightened as my body ached with a sudden pinch.

Then…

Completeness.

His length slowly eased inside of me. His head. The shaft. Until finally our bodies met, slick with sweat and trembling in amazement. The entire length of him stretched me. My breath shuddered. My body ached and cried out and crashed again and again with a newfound confusion and excitement and dizzying sensation.

Too much?

Too big?

Yes and no. I needed more.

I craved a movement he hadn’t given. Instinct or greed? My hips bucked as I tried to emulate the motions I knew would come. In and out. Harder and quicker. Anything. But I earned no more than a mind-blowing inch.

“Rem…” My hoarse whisper shattered us both. “Please…”

He leaned in, capturing my kiss with a rugged, husky laugh. “Christ. Now that I have you, now that I’m inside you…fuck me, I don’t think I can move.”

“That’s no fair.”

“Neither are you…” His kiss turned feverish, frantic. “I could stay here forever. This close to you. This deep inside of you. Finally. After all this time…you’re mine.”

I arched into his hands as he explored the curves of my body. My heart raced, aching with every passing moment that frustration flexed my hips. I needed him as much as he needed me, but now I ached for something more. What’d he’d promised. What we both craved.

We’d waited for too long to be romantic.

Suffered alone for too many years to be gentle.

Denied ourselves too much pleasure to be cautious.

And together, as our bodies pressed and our kisses muffled our groans, we’d finally taken everything we’d ever wanted.

“Please…” I pleaded with my own desire. “Don’t hold back.”

“I’m barely holding on, Sassy.”

“More, Rem...”

With an agonizing tease, Rem pulled from me. Only a few inches. Only a brief crest of hips. But that was all he needed to drive inside me. The fierce size of him should have scared me, but I’d never felt so complete in my life.

A part of me had been missing for so long, filled by the part of him I’d so long denied.

Every trust became a promise. Every kiss the first truth we’d spoken in years. Every shivered bolt of pleasure, a fantasy come true.

I took him deeper, arching to let him within my tightness. My words panted. My breath trembled. Wrapped in each other arms, desperate for each other’s desire, we murmured words we’d never said and feelings that neither of us were ready to admit.

He rocked inside me, hands squeezing my hips. “Should have done this long ago.”

I would have let him too. Would have welcomed him. Offered myself to him. Given everything to him.

I’d loved him before. I loved him now.

And that made me reckless and foolish and so incredibly desperate for him. This wasn’t fair. We belonged together. We couldn’t change the past, but what had it done to him? The once playful, excited puppy of a boy had turned into a reclusive, gruff, bear of a man. Alone. Miserable. Struggling so hard to see the good in himself.

But I saw it. I knew it was there. And I fell for him with every breath, every stroke, every minute of every day that he denied the past and struggled to imagine a future where he belonged.

His future was in mine.

No more hiding. No more wilderness.

Just me and him.

Tonight was only the beginning.

Breathing was hard. Thinking impossible. A rushing, intoxicating intensity built so deep inside of me it actually ached with every hardened thrust. I gripped his arms. The muscles beneath my fingers tensed. He fought with himself, with me, with everything. Each drive inside me struck through him with the same shivering realization.

I hardly recognized the wild, rasping warning that growled from his throat. But the words stirred in me. I tensed, nodded, unable to speak.

“I’m not pulling out.” Rem stared at me, daring me to protest. “Now that I finally have you, I’ve gotta come inside of you, Cas. I gotta make you mine.”

And I would have fought him if he’d even dreamt of pulling from me.

I clung to him, tensing as my own excitement unwound every part of me.

He struck first—a hard, powerful thrust straight through me. He bottomed out as deeply as he could get, a solid and uncompromising mark of strength. He pinned me against his hips. Clenched his jaw. Sweated.

I arched as the heat of his seed burst within me.

My core first, then every muscle, every inch of skin. The tingles became shocks and transformed my breath, my words, my weakening strength into jagged and fierce energy. Every tremble rocked through me, a strike to my most vulnerable and sensitive secrets.

I came for him again and again, clutching at his shoulders and chest as our bodies still quaked and moved together. The heat and mess between my legs only hardened him more. A captured kiss, and he was on me again, wrapping me into his arms, threatening me with even more pleasure.

I giggled as he held me against his chest and swept me into the house.

“No cuddling?” I teased. “And here I thought you’d be a romantic.”

“Fuck cuddling.” Rem tossed me onto his bed and shut the door behind us. His cock hardened again, slick and intimidating and so very delicious. “I’ve been without you for five years, Cassi. Little girl, you’re in for a rough night.”