My stomach was full of butterflies and my chest was full of nerves as I watched the admin building’s elevator count off the floors. When it stopped on the third floor, I had to swallow because I was sure I was going to throw up.
The doors slid open, letting me out into the mostly darkened hallway. There were some voices and power tools, but I was pretty sure they were in the stairwell at the other end of the hall. This side of the building was silent. Typical Saturday.
The training department’s door was open, and the blanched glow of the fluorescent lights confirmed what I already knew—Logan was here. I’d seen his car outside anyway.
My plastic boot clicked on the linoleum, echoing through the empty building. Unless he had on noise-canceling headphones, he knew I was here. No turning back now.
When I stepped into the doorway, Logan was already looking. His forehead was creased, his jaw tight—he didn’t have to ask if I’d just come to get a forgotten ID card again.
I cleared my throat. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He sounded guarded.
I leaned against the doorframe. “Listen, um . . . I know you’re working, but I . . . thought we should clear the air. After what happened yesterday.”
Logan sat up, eyeing me uneasily. “Yeah, okay. Probably not a bad idea.”
We held each other’s gazes.
You want to start?
Oh hell, I have no idea where to start.
Yeah me neither.
Shit.
I’d rehearsed a million things last night and on the way here, but I didn’t know how to say them now. The fact that we were in the office where we both worked made it a hundred times harder. I couldn’t shake the reality that we’d be tripping over each other every day until one of us changed jobs, so if this conversation went south, work was going to suck for a while. The pressure was on to get this right. As if it hadn’t been already because I really wanted to get this right; I didn’t want things to be weird with Logan, coworker or not.
It was Logan who finally spoke. “Can I ask you something?”
I’d usually fire off a smart-ass response like You just did or You mean ask me something else, but for some reason, I was tongue-tied, so I nodded.
Logan tilted his head a little, and I swore he wasn’t just looking at me—he was looking into me. Voice soft, he asked, “How’d you know I was gay?”
Oh God. Wasn’t that a loaded question?
I considered my answer for a long time before I finally decided the truth was my best bet. “I didn’t.”
“No, but you put fifty bucks on it.” His eyebrow rose slowly. “There had to be something that tipped you off.”
My mouth went dry. There was no point in coming up with some bullshit answer. I was a terrible liar anyway. And hell, it wasn’t like things would get any more awkward around the office if I told him the truth.
So, I licked my lips and managed to whisper, “No, there really wasn’t. It was, uh . . .” I coughed again. “Wishful thinking, I guess.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “Really?”
I nodded, pretending my stomach wasn’t doing somersaults. “Yeah.” I paused, then stepped inside and closed the office door behind me. “What do you want me to say? You know I’m into you. I was from the second I saw you. Why lie?”
Logan stared at me for a few long seconds, his eyes still wide and his lips apart. I was about to speak—no idea what I was going to say besides something to fill the silence—when the squeak of his chair shut me up. He stood. Stepped out of his cube. Faced me. All those nerves and butterflies were in overdrive now as we stared each other down.
Nervous as I was, he was like a magnet. I couldn’t stay all the way over here while he was all the way over there.
I pushed myself off the door and moved toward him, taking each step slowly and carefully, watching him for the slightest hint that I should back off. We were barely an arm’s-length apart when we both stopped. For as much as we couldn’t even look at each other yesterday, neither of us could look away now.
“You’re right,” he whispered. “I am into you.”
Instantly, my heart went crazy. “Yeah?”
Logan nodded, taking a slow step closer to me. His sneaker brushed my walking cast. The vibration reverberated up the plastic, but it didn’t hurt—it made my whole body hum with we’re touching.
We need to be touching more.
“I . . .” Logan gulped, avoiding my eyes. He rocked back on his heels, putting some space between us, but he didn’t actually step away. “I just don’t know if we should, you know?”
“I don’t know either.” I held my breath as I curved a hand over his hip. “All I know is that this is the first thing that’s felt good in a long time, and I want more.”
Logan stared at me, but he stayed where he was.
“When you kissed me, it was . . .” I swept my tongue across my lips. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
“Neither have I. I’m just worried we’re fucking up, you know?”
“Yeah. Me too.” I tugged him toward me. “But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”
He tensed a little, but I couldn’t tell if it was from what I’d said or because I was subtly reeling him to me. I almost backed off. Before I could, though, his arm snaked around my waist, and it wasn’t my fucked-up leg that screwed with my balance.
“If you don’t want to, say so,” I said. “This is just . . . maybe I just need it because it’s the first time anyone has touched me since before I left for BUD/S.”
Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
My throat tightened. Saying the words out loud drove it home. It really had been that long, hadn’t it? Over six months? I looked down at my hand on his waist, my palm tingling from another man’s body heat radiating into my skin for the first time in too long.
Logan tipped my chin up with two fingers. “You don’t just want this because I’m the first guy who came along, though, do you?” It was more of a statement than an actual question.
“No.” I could barely get the word out. “I want you. The fact that I haven’t done this in months is making it really hard to think clearly.” My shoulders sank as my own words echoed through my head. “So if you think this is a bad idea, say so, because I can’t think past how much I want you.”
He searched my eyes, and I braced for him to come to his senses and pull back.
“This scares me to death,” he whispered. “But damn if . . . I can’t . . .” He huffed with what sounded like frustration, and shook his head.
Then his hand warmed my cheek.
And his breath warmed my lips.
And we were kissing again.
As if we’d picked up where we’d left off the last time, we were wrapped up in each other and tasting each other. Oh yeah, this felt good, and oh yeah, I wanted more. Standing here in the office with all these clothes on was absolutely not enough, and . . . too much at the same time. How the hell could he steal all the air in the room just by kissing me? How the hell was he holding me up and fucking with my balance at the same time? God, I loved the way his body felt against mine—solid, hot, strong. And then he—
“I’ve been wanting you since my first day here,” he growled between kisses. “Can’t . . . tell you how much I’ve thought about—”
I claimed his mouth so hard I almost pinched my lip between our teeth, and then broke that kiss long enough to moan, “I’m all yours.”
He shivered, digging his fingers into my back, and then nipped my lower lip. “Yeah? All mine?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Love the sound of that.” He nudged me back a couple of steps—moving slowly like he knew I was off-balance in the boot—until my shoulder blades hit the wall. He kissed me again, pressing me there with his body, and about the time I started finding my equilibrium again, he went to his knees. I sucked in a sharp breath and stared down at him. With shaky hands, he started tugging my zipper. He was . . . We were . . . Here? In the office? What if we—
His fingers closed around my dick, and I forgot about everything else. There was nothing in the world left to focus on except his hot, eager mouth, and the way he teased every inch of me with his tongue. I’d had enthusiastic blowjobs before, but this? My God. It was like he needed to blow me as desperately as I needed to be blown.
I rocked my hips, pushing deeper into his throat. The motion was a little awkward when most of my weight had to stay on my right leg, but I braced an arm on Sarah’s cubicle wall and kept the other hand on the back of his head. He didn’t seem to mind.
And the view . . . Fuck. Just the sight of my fingers tangled in his dark hair was enough to make my head spin. His full lips around my cock? The little upward glances every now and then? Oh man, I needed to get him naked.
“God damn, I want to fuck you,” I breathed. For a split second, I was worried he might balk—was he even into bottoming?—but the way he whimpered around my dick was anything but No thanks, I’m a top. I combed my fingers through his hair as he licked and sucked me. “You want that? You want me to fuck you?”
That moan was a definite yes.
And the next moan was mine because, holy shit, this man could suck cock.
“Jesus, Logan.” I arched off the wall and fought to breathe. “Oh, I’m gonna . . . I’m gonna come.”
As if he needed it, that spurred him on. He licked and sucked and stroked for all he was worth, and I had to clap a hand over my mouth to keep from crying out as I shot across his tongue. The cubicle wall protested, but it held me up, and Logan didn’t stop until I was about to melt into a puddle right there on the floor.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
He laughed as he stood. “You all right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Good.” He pinned me to the wall and kissed me like he didn’t even care that I hadn’t caught my breath yet. I didn’t either. Not when I had his gorgeous body against mine, and definitely not when his mouth tasted like my own cum.
I slid my hand over the front of his jeans, grinning when he hissed. “Surprised the Navy doesn’t make you disclose when you’re packing something like this.”
A laugh burst out of him. “It’s not usually, uh, loaded while I’m at work.”
I chuckled and brushed my lips across his. “Well, if I could kneel comfortably, I would definitely do something about it. Besides . . .” I started unzipping his fly, but he caught my wrist.
“Not here. Let’s go someplace where we can make some noise.”
All the air rushed out of my lungs. I nodded stupidly.
“Your place or mine?” he asked. “I’m on the north side of town.”
“I’m right outside the base. Let’s go to mine.”
“Perfect. Let me log off,” he said with a tilt of his head toward his desk, “and I’ll follow you.”
I nodded again. One more kiss, and I let him go. While he quickly logged off, I glanced around the office, cringing a little at the thought of Sarah or Diego finding out about this, but that was the most effort I could put into caring about consequences. Those could wait until Monday.
Today, I was taking Logan home and fucking him.