“So come on tell me, how were they?” Hannah asks me in her giddy voice as she lays on my bed. I finish up rereading my final draft before saving and shutting down my laptop.
“You know I can’t tell you the details, it’s like confidentiality or something, you know this.” I stand up walking over, sitting next to her on my bed.
“But you told me every detail when it first happened.” She pouts.
“Because it’s like when you lose your virginity, you tell your best friend everything. I had to tell you, besides I didn’t think it would happen again.” I try to explain to her.
“But it has, you are like a druggie, so maybe you talking about it is a step towards recovery.” I laugh at her logic.
“We both know that me spilling about my sex life isn’t going to make me want to do it less. It’s not like there are AA meetings.”
“I know, but I will say anything for you to tell me.” She pouts “Your sex life is so interesting and it sounds hot.” She waggles her eyebrows at me.
“I wouldn’t even call it a sex life, I don’t have sex.” I sigh.
“But you get yourself off though.”
“I can’t believe how comfortable you are in talking about this. Your best friend watches strangers have sex and touches herself as they do. Don’t you think it’s weird? Shouldn’t you want to avoid talking about this?” I look to her.
“No, people do worse things. I read a book where a girl had sex with a dog, now that is fucked up.” I look at her in disgust.
“That is just sick.” Who the hell would write about that?
“What you are doing isn’t. The couples consent, you all have a good time so why not? But have you ever wanted to get involved?” I think about it, but I have to say that I haven’t.
“Not really. Since Hope, I would just rather watch.” I pause. “Besides I saw her last night.” Hannah sits up grabbing hold of my arm.
“Oh my God and you're just telling me this now? What happened?”
“She said she missed me, she lured me in, then I ended up kissing her.”
“Where did you kiss her?”
“The club toilets.”
“Wow, classy.” I give her a look. “What did you say after she kissed you?”
“I didn’t say anything until she said she knew that I still wanted her. I found out that Darryl broke up with her, he really got into being watched and having threesomes, and it didn’t always have to include her.”
“It kind of serves her right really. She broke your heart blaming you for Darryl only wanting sex if he was being watched and if someone joins. It’s just what he’s into and he can’t help it like you can’t help only getting turned on by watching. If she didn’t get rid of you, she would still have you both.”
“I don’t want her to want me only to keep her guy. I’m better than that. Besides, I used to be sick of men but I’m getting sick of women now and I haven’t even been in a relationship with a woman.” I laugh.
“What you had with Darryl and Hope that was kind of a relationship. It lasted for a couple of months, you hung out, you went for meals. You were dating them both.”
“But I never slept with him.” I defend myself.
“You don’t need to sleep with someone to be in a relationship with them. That’s why you were hurt after because you got attached.”
“I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.”
“But you can’t always be on your own. You will need someone to love you.”
“You love me.”
“I love you but I wouldn’t let you watch me and Drew have sex, now that’s fucked up.” I scrunch up my face.
“I wouldn’t want to. You two are like family to me.”
“Least we have that cleared up.” We both laugh when I hear my phone indicating a message and I see it’s the couple from Tinder.
“Who’s that?” Hannah looks over my shoulder.
“My newest couple.” I show her a picture of them but their heads are turned so I can’t see what they actually look like. But they are hugging one another topless.
“Cute, their bodies look really hot. What do they want?” I read over the message.
“They want me to join them in their home type place like a sleepover type thing with other open-minded people.” I look at the message confused. “They have booked out a hotel where they get people with kink interests to join in with other people who show same interests.”
“So this couple looks for people who are into kinky shit?”
I shrug. “I guess so.”
“Are you going to go?” I think it over. It would be nice to meet other people who enjoy watching others have sex. Maybe I can ask questions and explore it more. Why message me to join them? Is it to just find people and let them find their own interests at the meetup?
“I think I am. It will be an experience and I am so intrigued.”
“So am I, I just want to go to see what shit people are into. You have to tell me everything.” I don’t have a chance to respond when another message comes through with rules and conditions. There is also a questionnaire on what I like, don’t like, have tried and haven’t tried.
This really is the real thing.
Why do I feel like Ana from Fifty Shades right now?
“Maybe if you get enough inspiration from this, you could turn it into a book. Some books are based on real life, just names and places are changed. I would read a book about this sort of thing.”
“Too bad you only like to read about it and not actually do it.” I tease her.
“I am not as adventurous as you. I don’t mind reading about people being whipped, or peed on, but it’s not my cup of tea. I will stick to boring vanilla sex with an odd spanking here and there.” We both burst out laughing. “So when do you go?” I skim over the words.
“In five days.”
“Well, you better get reading the rules and filling in the questions.” I lay back on my headboard as I read out loud the rules and conditions.
I am not allowed to take pictures, which I agree. I don’t want people knowing what I get up to. I’m not ashamed but people do judge. You say the word red when you want to stop anything at any time and everyone has to respect that. If you are leaving the grounds you have to tell the hosts or receptionist for safety reasons.
The rules seem reasonable, as I glance at the questions some I am shocked in reading.
Have you ever had any sort of food product inside you sexually? I wouldn’t even think about doing that. That’s what vibrators and dildos are made for.
Have you opened your bowels on someone or vice versa? Hell no.
“See people are into that. People like being actually shit on.” That is just wrong.
“I can’t believe some of these questions. Have you ever been fisted? If not would you? Like hell, I would let that happen to me. With each question I read, I wondered what kind of people are actually coming to this gathering.” I scroll further down.
“Just answer them honestly, they won’t let you be with anyone that doesn’t fit your needs.”
“I guess I’m more nervous now after reading this.”
“Don’t be. If you get uncomfortable, you can leave at any time.” That is true.
“Okay.” I copy and paste the questions and start answering each one and once I reread what I’ve written I hit send and look at my phone not believing that this is actually happening.
“Feels a little like fifty shades when she had to go through the contract.” Hannah laughs. That was what I was actually thinking.
“Yeah but I am happy to watch, no one is going to be hitting me with any cane or whip,” I say matter of factly.
“I know, but it’s interesting to know that there are people actually out there who like this sort of thing. They could be bankers, teachers, even our dentists. They could be getting up to all sorts behind closed doors.”
“I guess so. My readers and friends, well apart from you don’t even know what I’m into behind closed doors. So I guess we never really know a person.” My head starts to hurt by all this thinking. I sigh heavily when I hear my phone ring once again and only an address is given with orders to dress formally.
“Looks like you’re in.” Yeah, but is it a place I want to go into?