I’m driving home from the café in the late afternoon, exhausted from a lack of sleep, and still fuming about Jaxon gifting me the deed to the cottage without my knowledge. It’s like he was trying to lure me here under false pretenses. With a dead cell phone, I can’t easily reach him, and I’m not sure if I want to right now, anyway.

No. This conversation needs to happen in person.

It’s not until I round the bend in the gravel driveway that I see a familiar white SUV parked under the carport. My heart lunges into my throat when I spot Scott standing at the front door of the cottage.

No, no, no.

I slam my foot on the brakes, spinning up gravel beneath my tires. But just as I’m considering putting my car in reverse and backing up out of sight, his head whips around and his dark eyes lock on mine through the windshield. I’ve been spotted.

Releasing my foot from the brake, I roll under the carport, park, and force myself to take a few deep, steady breaths before exiting the car and closing the distance between us.

Scott stands there, tall and handsome in his green button-down dress shirt and tan slacks that tell me he came straight from a business meeting. His sandy blond hair is combed over in a single wave. I think he’s been styling it like that since first grade.

“Scott…” His name catches in my throat, and I smile through my unease. “I can’t believe you’re here.” His arms are open so I step in for a hug, noting instantly the difference between Jaxon’s strong hold and Scott’s stiff one. We don’t mold to each other. My blood doesn’t warm beneath my skin. Our embrace is friendship and comfort, nothing more.

His smile is wide, as if the conversations we’ve had since I left Durham never happened. I let out a slow breath.

“I wanted to see you,” he says. “You haven’t returned any of my calls, and…” He looks back at the cottage, then turns to me. “So this is it, huh? Nothing like what I imagined when you described it when we were young. I was expecting something bigger. More…magical.”

I laugh. “I guess this place felt much bigger when we were kids.” I swallow, trying to figure out what to say next. God, this is awkward. “H-how did you find me?”

Aunt Cyndi. I know the answer already, but he dips his hands in his pockets and shrugs with a twist of his lips. “I think you know. She was worried, Aurora. And, I have to say I was shocked to find out you came here of all places. It’s the last place I would have expected.” His gaze moves over my face. “It’s starting to make more sense now, though.”

My heart drops into my stomach. “It is?”

He shrugs, seeming unfazed by his discovery. “Sure. You needed closure after your father passed away. What happened was traumatic, and you’re trying to heal. I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

He nods emphatically. “You’re facing your demons.” His expression morphs into a mashup of confusion and disappointment. “You thought I wouldn’t understand.” His eyes lock on mine again like he’s just made sense of the universe. “I was always so dead-set on you not coming back here. You didn’t think I would approve. Is that it?” A glimmer of hope enters his gaze. “Aurora, if you’re here, I’m here. You don’t need to feel guilty for chasing your past. If you need that to move forward and find yourself, I’ll help you.”

“Oh, Scott.” I sigh, the discomfort and guilt churning in my chest. When will he understand it’s over? “Thank you. Really. You’ve always been there for me. And I know you would be if I asked. But I need to do this on my own. My entire life I’ve allowed others to take care of me. To know what’s best for me. I’m doing it on my own now, and I feel stronger because of it.”

And in a split second his expression changes from hope, to confusion, to sadness as he realizes what he came for is not just out of reach; it’s never coming back. “Oh.”

“I’m so sorry. I thought I made it clear when we spoke—”

Scott holds up a hand, his cheeks turning a shade of blush I’ve never seen on him before. “You did,” he says with annoyance. “I guess I just thought you were reacting to your father’s death. I thought you’d change your mind.” His eyes flicker to mine. “You’re not going to change your mind.”

My insides crumble with guilt. “No. I’m not.”

He steps back like he’s lost his equilibrium and looks around us, taking in the woods, the cottage, the drive, like he’s doing it for the first time. “But why did you have to come back here? Isn’t it”—he looks around and shivers visibly— “creepy?”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from frowning. I was right. Scott wouldn’t last a day in Balsam Grove. I shrug. “This is my home.”

He breathes through the silence, and I know what he’s thinking. He’s never been the reactive type, and I’ve always appreciated that. Whenever anyone asked me to describe Scott, it was his thoughtfulness that came to mind first. He cared, and he showed that he cared. Even if he didn’t care the way I needed him to.

“I’m happy here,” I add, hoping it finally sinks in for him. “I have a job and old friends …”

He sighs heavily. “I just—I don’t understand.”

I hang my head, unable to continue staring back into his sad, brown eyes. “This isn’t for you to understand. I know that’s not easy to hear, but you need to try to let this go. Let me go.”

“I will never let you go, Aurora. Jesus, I’ve worried about you since I was six. Every cut on your knee. Every mean girl. Every broken heart. I’ve been there for you for everything. Driving you to and from doctor appointments. During your breakdowns after your father was convicted. You were doing so well with me. We were happy.”

I shake my head and meet his gaze. “That’s where you’re wrong. I was numb, Scott. My medication—enabled me in forgetting what troubled me most. But in doing that, I lost so much of myself. I had no chance of being happy in Durham. Not when there were still pieces of me missing. I’d forgotten so much about myself.”

“And you’re finding them here?” he asks, incredulously. “How is that possible after what your father did?”

“I’m not my father. As much as you want to protect me from what you thought I would become, that’s not me.”

Scott lets out a frustrated breath. “Your father was a sick man, but he didn’t start progressing until he was, what—in his mid-thirties?” He gestures to me with his hands. “You’re still young. Prevention is the key.”

My jaw drops, and every fear I’ve had since my parents informed me of my father’s disorder comes crashing down around me. It’s a flashflood of pain as I move from one emotion to the next. Shock, outrage, hurt… But in a way, I’ve always known Scott had this fear in the back of his mind. It was always on mine. But hearing him say it just cracks everything open.

“You think just because I left you—because I don’t want to be with you—I’m some violent schizophrenic?”

He mutters something else under his breath before trying again. “I’m just saying we should check it out. Go back to Rohls. He’ll run some tests. If anything is wrong, it’s better to catch it and treat it early on, right? Maybe if your dad had been treated sooner, he wouldn’t have…” He trails off.

“What?” I demand. My anxiety is one thing. But I never thought Scott questioned my sanity. “He wouldn’t have let me bleed out as he held me in his arms, rocking me like I was a lifeless child? He wouldn’t have been sent to a psychiatric facility where they couldn’t help him? Where he refused to see his own damn daughter? And he wouldn’t have killed himself because the voices in his head wouldn’t shut up?”

“Stop, Aurora. Jesus Christ.”

“No. You stop.” My heart feels like it’s about to explode from my chest. Maybe I do need to stop. Getting this worked up can’t be good for me. Scott is coming from a good place. I shake my head, not wanting this conversation to end like this. “Trust me, Scott. I know the statistics. I’ve lived in this nightmare for far too long. And I may have issues, but I also know how strong I am. Strong enough to walk away from a situation that made me unhappy without letting you make me feel crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“That’s not what I’m hearing.”

“Aurora,” he pleads again, but I’m done having the same argument.

“It’s too late, Scott. I have things I need to take care of. You shouldn’t be here.”

His face reddens with anger as he shifts in his stance. “I don’t really have a choice in all of this, do I?”

I shake my head slowly, making sure there’s no mistaking my certainty. Although the recent news about how the cottage came into my possession dampened my outlook some, it hasn’t taken away from why I came. I’m still here for the right reasons. For me. To confront my past and move forward. To find myself again. To love myself again.

“It really is nice to see you.” I try to soften the blow, but I also mean my words. I want Scott to be able to move on, too. He deserves every ounce of happiness he thought he had with me and more.

He shakes his head, his expression telling me he doesn’t believe me. “Yeah. Okay, Aurora.” The crumpled look he gives me next presses heavy on my heart. He starts to walk toward his car, passing me without a word before he turns around, meeting my eyes again. Everything about him—his unsure stance, his sad eyes, and the tremble in his voice—crushes me.

I want to tell him I’m sorry, that he’ll find someone else, but that’s not what he wants to hear right now. I want to say goodbye and not have it mean forever, but I’m afraid it’s the only way for him to let me go. I’m not just losing my ex-boyfriend. I’m losing my best friend. A lifetime of friendship. Not many people are lucky enough to have someone like Scott, and here I am, giving him up.

But none of it gets said as Scott climbs into his SUV, and disappears into the woods.