I open my eyes, slowly taking in my surroundings. There are frames with people I don’t know, though I pick out Charleigh and Corey in a few of them. But those aren’t what draw my attention. It’s the artwork pinned randomly on the walls, unmistakably Charleigh’s creations.

I can’t believe I fell asleep here last night. She wasn’t kidding when she said she didn’t want the night to end. We stayed clear of the rest of the rides after my ferris wheel freak out. I told her I was fine, but I think she felt bad about dragging me on there when I was clearly uncomfortable.

She kept finding games to play, and try to beat, even though they are rigged. I even managed to win her one of those giant teddy bears, and I won’t mention how much I spent to get it. It wasn’t cheap, but it was worth it. Seeing Charleigh hug that damn bear made me beam with pride.

After stuffing ourselves we food, I dropped her off with every intention of going home. She grabbed my hand when we got to her door, and she asked me to come in. The rest of the night was spent watching comedy shows on Netflix until we apparently fell asleep.

I look down and see a mass of hair. How in the hell can she still breathe with all that hair in her face? As gently as I can I brush her hair aside until she comes into view. She looks so peaceful in her sleep, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get off this couch without waking her up.

I’m surprised we both fit on it to be honest. Her entire body takes up most of the surface, and her feet are hanging over the edge. I’m halfway sitting on it, one foot on the floor, and a leg curled on the couch. She’s lying on my leg. I try to lift most of her hair up so that it doesn’t get caught between my leg and the couch, but as soon as I move my leg, she starts to stir.

I freeze. I don’t know why. It’s not like I plan on skipping out on her without saying goodbye, but I also didn’t want to wake her. I figure she’s got a long night ahead of her at the shop, and I want to make sure she’s well rested. I’m trying to be a gentleman, something I’ve learned from past mistakes with Tonya. I need to be better…for myself, Charleigh, and Layla.

Charleigh sits up rapidly, almost hitting me in the face. She’s pushing all the hair out of her face, yet again, and looks absolutely adorable. Her hair is sticking out in every direction, eyes wide, and hand wiping across her mouth. I’m assuming to make sure there’s no drool present, but it wouldn’t change the way I see her.

Blinking a couple of times, she says. “Morning. Did I wake you up?”

I must look dazed but seeing her to start my day is definitely a good thing. “Nope, I was trying to figure out how to get up without waking you.” I stand up and nearly fall. The blood rushing back into the leg she was sleeping on, causing needles of pain up and down it.

Her smile turns into a small frown, eyebrows dropping lower. “You weren’t even going to say bye?”

Shit. That was the wrong thing to say. I need to think before I speak. “I was going to, but you looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

That mollifies her, at least a little bit. “Oh.” She pushes a piece of hair behind her ear settling back into the couch. “Do you want to do something today?”

“I can’t today. I have some things I have to do,” I reply. If it were any other day I would love nothing more than to spend the day with her. But, today is not that day. I glance at my watch. I’m supposed to meet Tonya in a few hours so I can get more time with Layla. I’m going to put my daughter first, unlike my parents. I mean, they did put me first in a lot of ways, but not for the right reasons. I refuse to allow myself to end up like them.

I see Charleigh’s shoulders sag. I really hope she doesn’t think that I’m trying to ghost her because I’m not. I just don’t want to drag her into what’s going on in my life right after our first date. “I’ll text or call you when I’m done. Maybe if you’re not at work yet, we can hang out.”

She nods and quietly says, “Okay.”

I walk toward her, squatting down so that I can look into her downcast eyes. “I’ll call you.” I place my hands on hers, until she looks directly at me. “Besides,” I smirk. “You already agreed to a second date. You can’t take that back.”

Finally, I get a small giggle from her. “Actually, I can.” She pauses, weaving her fingers through mine. “But I won’t. I mean, what other guy would be okay with Netflix and chill without taking the “chill” as an invitation for something more.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “A make-out session would have been nice, just sayin’.”

“It’s not my fault you fell asleep.”

Another chuckle, “You have a point there. But, I really need to go.”

She rises as I stand up and throws her arms around me, nearly knocking me back. “Thanks for last night,” she whispers in my ear. “I had an amazing time.”

“You’re welcome, Charleigh,” I reply. “I had a great time, too. Even on that God forsaken ride.”

I lean in to kiss her, but she rears back. “You can’t kiss me right now. I haven’t even brushed my teeth.”

Chuckling, I say, “Well it’s a good thing that I haven’t either.”

Before she has a chance to protest, I pull her to me. I kiss her long and slow, making sure she knows I’m still interested. Morning breath, and all.

I give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”

I head to the door, scooping my keys from the coffee table on my way. “I look forward to it” are the last words I hear before closing the door behind me.

I expect there to be a ton of traffic while walking to my truck, but it’s oddly quiet. I’m used to this in my small town and didn’t think it would be the same in a bigger city. It gives me time to think. Everything in my life seems to be lining up, but I’d be lying to myself if I said this playdate with Layla isn’t making me nervous. Reaf will be there and I don’t know how Layla is going to react with the both of us in the same space.

Will she choose him over me? I can already feel the sting of jealousy building in the pit of my stomach, and it hasn’t even happened yet. How am I supposed to get over that and make this work?

There’s only one way to find out. I just hope I can keep my emotions under control.

* * *

I pull into one of the few parking spaces available at the Asheville public park. I’ve never been more grateful that Marshall and I wear the same size clothes. I stopped by his house to freshen up on the way here to avoid my parents. I don’t want to face another inquisition.

I see Tonya and Reaf spreading out a blanket on the lush green grass. I have no clue how they keep the grass alive with the high temperature here, but I’m kind of impressed. There’s a stroller beside them that no doubt holds Layla.

I sit in my truck for a few moments, attempting to get my nerves under control. My leg is jittering in an unsteady rhythm as I watch them get everything set for me to arrive. I know I have no reason to be nervous. She did fine when I was at Tonya’s house, but it was just us there. I reach for the handle, forcing myself to pull it open. I haven’t seen them together since Spring Break. And I haven’t interacted with the both of them since I acted like an ass in the fall.

I walk toward them, taking my time. Reaf notices me first, and simply nods in my direction. Tonya is getting Layla out of the stroller and placing her on the blanket with a myriad of toys. Why does she need so many toys? It’s not like she’s mobile, yet. But, I’m going to keep my mouth closed on that subject. I don’t really have to right to voice my opinion when I’m just now getting to know my daughter.

“Hi, guys,” I wave awkwardly. My smile feels bigger than normal, and maybe slightly maniacal. I straighten my lips some so I don’t freak them out.

Tonya beams. “Hi, Jake. We were just getting things situated.”

Her smile is just as weird as mine was. I wonder if she had doubts that I would show up today. I know I’ve had my moments, but I told her I’d be here. “How’s little Miss Layla doing this morning?”

I lie down on my stomach on the opposite end of the blanket so that she can see me when she lifts her head. She’s on her belly, tiny fingers reaching toward the toys Tonya laid out in front of her. Picking up the ring toy next to my hand, I scoot it closer to her until her fingers wrap around it. She immediately shoves the toy in her mouth, working her gums over it.

I rear back, not sure what to do. I look up at Tonya with wide eyes, and she’s laughing at me. She thinks putting her hand over her mouth hides it, but it doesn’t. “What do I do?”

“Nothing,” she says through a chuckle, trying to get her laughter under control. “All of her toys are basically fair game for her to chew on. Well, not really chew since she doesn’t have teeth, but it soothes her.”

“Oh, okay,” I reply. “As long as it’s not harmful, then she can chew to her heart’s content.”

I’m happy just being in her space. Tonya and Reaf leave us so I can have a little bit of quality time with Layla. I make faces at her, and even speak in that annoying baby talk, doing everything I can to make her smile. Snapping pictures of her toothless grin, soaking in these moments. She may not remember them, but I will.

All of a sudden Layla starts whimpering, then full on crying. I glance around trying to spot Tonya. Her and Reaf are on the swings making googly eyes at each other. “Um, Tonya,” I call out. “She’s getting angry, and I don’t want her to turn into the baby version of The Hulk.”

Tonya starts walking toward us, Reaf right behind her, checking her watch. “She’s probably hungry.”

I watch in fascination as Tonya prepares Layla’s bottle. She even has this little contraption that heats the milk up. She’s definitely a pro at this whole parent thing in my eyes.

She’s checking the temperature of the milk on her wrist. “Do you want to feed her?”

I’m not sure if I do. How do I do this? But I don’t want to miss anything else with my little girl so I take the bottle while Tonya picks her up to hand her to me. I cradle her in my arms, putting the bottle to her lips, but she’s not having it. I lift her a little higher, sniffing to see if she might be dirty, but she’s not. Her diaper doesn’t feel weighed down. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.

Reaf swoops in. “Do you want me to hold her while Tonya gets situated to feed her?”

I don’t know what else to do, so I just nod, and lift my arms out for him to take her. Barely a few seconds have passed, and she’s quieted down. A few whimpers escaping her lips.

Reaf passes Layla to Tonya so she can eat, and I’m quietly hurting. I know it’s not his fault. I know I shouldn’t get mad that Layla calms down when someone she’s been around her entire three and a half months of living holds her, but it’s hard. Seeing my baby girl find comfort in someone that’s not me…it’s like a punch to the gut.

I look at Reaf. I’m not really mad at him, just at the situation. The way his shoulders sag, and the way he’s avoiding looking at me, tells me he feels horrible. That right there is why I’m grateful that out of all the guys out there, me included, she picked someone who’s sensitive to how others feel.

I slowly stand up. Not really wanting to leave, but also not wanting them to see how much I’m bothered by what happened. “I’m going to head out.”

“Are you sure?” Tonya’s frowning. Not because she’s upset I’m leaving, but because I think she knows how I’m feeling. Hell, she may even be proud of me for not letting my frustration get the best of me.

“Yeah, I’ve got a couple of things I need to do,” I shrug. I’m trying for nonchalant, but I know I’m not pulling it off.

I bend down to kiss Layla’s head. Telling them bye, I turn for my truck. I’ve never been one to cry, but I’m fighting back the liquid pooling in my eyes. Wishing I would have gone about this differently from the beginning.