The past month had been the most agonizing time I had ever experienced in my life. I went from being high on life to having my world wiped out from beneath my feet. I was just putting the plans in motion to announce my engagement to the most amazing woman I had ever met, a woman whom I had been in a relationship with for the last six month. To have it all taken from me by my brother, my best friend, through no fault of his own, other than the fact that he was in idiot.
I didn’t expect to fall in love with Nina Mikhailov. I didn’t expect the quiet timid girl that used to follow us around like a lost puppy, while we were visiting family in Russia, to have changed from an ugly duckling into such a magnificent swan, to steal my heart fully and completely. I had no way of anticipating her coming into my life and snatching my heart straight out of my chest. I had no way of foretelling any of this, but somehow, it happened.
I was a mega star rocker traveling the world, a different girl in every town, with no intentions of sticking around for more than a good time. I was a walking hard on eager to dip my wick in just about any girl that was willing. I was the player of all players - until one day I wasn’t.
On the last leg of our tour we played in Russia. It was the perfect place to end our yearlong tour by visiting family and having a little down time. It also gave Tosha and Katinka a chance to celebrate their marriage with our extended family.
Everything was going great until a blonde vixen with large blue doe eyes sucked me in. Nina was Tosha’s third cousin on his father’s side and had attended the mammoth celebration that Tosha’s family had thrown together to celebrate Tosha and Katinka’s marriage and pregnancy.
It was on that very night that the rest of my life changed. I became immediately enraptured by the bright crystal blue eyes that now haunt my dreams. I would love to say there was this ostentatious moment that led us to one another. However, the truth is much more underplayed than that.
I noticed Nina standing on the edge of the crowd, a drink in her hand, as she watched on. A warm smile on her face, as Katinka was surrounded by the gaggle of women who were patiently waiting to touch her stomach and hear the tale of how Tosha proposed.
Her long flowing blonde hair and clear blue eyes caught me. At first glance I had no idea who she was. I hastily made my way over to her eager to capture her attention. As I introduced myself Nina smiled brilliantly, flashing me rows of perfect white teeth. It was then that I knew she was going to be the one.
There was no rapturous moment, no sudden zing of electricity. There were no angels harmonizing, singing of the glory between the two of us as our eyes met. It also wasn’t the bright smile that split her face in two that stole my heart. It was the fact that she so eloquently put me in my place, reminding me that we had known one another our whole lives. Calling me out on my past transgressions, reminding me of the lanky boy I used to be.
She was the first woman other than Katinka that had ever stood up to me as she held her ground, challenging me in every turn, opening my mind to new avenues of thought with such an honest and sincere openness and passion. I liked it, rather I loved it. Nina was so fearless in her pursuit to remind me that I put my pants on the same way everyone else did, one leg at a time.
We spent hours talking as the party dwindled down around us. The two of us had been so enraptured in our conversation that we hadn’t notice the party around us had ended. The lights had been turned down, the guest long gone, the banquet hall a deserted oasis.
What started out as one night of witty banter soon turned into late night phone calls and stolen text messages once I was back home in the States. We spent hours reconnecting and catching up with one another.
I wasn’t home a month before I knew I needed to see Nina again. While away from her I felt that there was this missing piece of me that only she could feel. Every phone call from her took me to such extraordinary heights causing moments without her to feel so shallow and cold. I was much becoming an addict. I was addicted to her laughter, the soft hum of her voice, her witty comebacks, and the way just hearing her voice made the sun shine brighter.
I soon began taken stolen trips back to Russia to see her. I would slip away to surprise her with a night out on the town, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or take her to a play that was in town. I made up any excuse I could to fly in and take her out. It started as a day or two once a month then soon became a week at a time sometimes twice a month. During that time our relationship blossomed. The more time we spent together the harder it was to be apart. Every time I left her side I felt like I left a part of my heart along with her until the last trip I took. On that trip I knew I left my entire heart.
On my last trip to Russia I dropped down onto one knee and proposed. I was so anxious and afraid. I knew that we were moving fast but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
To my utter surprise, she said yes. I couldn’t have been any happier. I wanted to shout my elation from the rooftops. I wanted the entire world to know that I had found my happiness. I found the one woman that was made for me and she had said yes to spend the rest of her life with me. Nina quickly reminded me that first we would need to tell our families before I started calling up every magazine and entertainment rag to spread the word. I was normally not a fan of publicity but I wanted to share my happiness with the world. I knew she was right, so reluctantly I waited.
We had kept our relationship a secret, though not intentionally. We both know that we had meddling families and once our families so much as thought that we were seeing one another they would start to pressure us to get married.
At the time, it seemed like a reasonable thing, to see one another secretly as we were unsure about the direction our relationship would be heading. We lived in two different countries, on two different continents, leading two very different lives. It’s true what they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Nina’s family had just begun to celebrate her brother’s engagement so she wanted to wait to tell everyone. She was afraid of stealing the limelight away from the happy couple after they had just announced their engagement just days before I proposed. It reminded me why I loved her so much; she was always so thoughtful and considerate.
The day before we planned to announce our engagement is the day the earth began to shatter around me. Kiev’s parents had decided to intervene in his love life and arrange to have him married off. With one phone call my fiancée, Nina, was graciously given away by her family to wed my best friend, my brother. She was stolen from me. All I could do was quietly sit on the sidelines, nursing my broken heart in silence.
I tried to convince Nina to come clean, to tell her family that she was already engaged but she was afraid to tell them that we had been seeing one another in secret. She reassured me over and over that everything would work out in the end. She felt confident that she would be able to convince Kiev to not go through with the marriage. I loved her for her positive outlook on the situation, though I couldn’t help the growing ball of dread that took up residence in the pit of my stomach.
I watched helplessly as Kiev begged to be released from his arranged marriage. Much to his chagrin he was denied time after time. Every day I watched as the calendar ticked down to the day of Kiev’s wedding. It was like watching the timer on a bomb that was connected to my heart. Every day Nina would remind me that it would all work out and that everything would be okay. When Kiev shared the fact that Nina was engaged to someone else I felt sure she had told him it was me. I had waited for the apology, the congratulations – they never came. Again Nina had forgone exposing our secret. She still held me in the shadows.
It soon felt as though Kiev was no longer fighting to get out of his arranged marriage. He seemed to accept the inevitable, allowing himself to be married off to someone else’s fiancé. The thought gutted me. I was immediately crestfallen. More times than I am ashamed of admitting, Nina had to talk me off the ledge, promising me that everything would work out in the end. I trusted her more than anyone in the world. With blind faith I followed. I held onto my silence as my world began to crash down around my feet. I fought against my better instincts to let the secret slip through my lips. It’s amazing what one will do for love, what one will do to make another human being happy.