It’s been seventy-six hours since my sister died. I’ve been cocooned in the comfort of Eli’s home. He’s been patient, kind, loving, and attentive. When we first met, I would’ve laughed if someone told me this is what he’d be like. I assumed he was a rich, selfish, arrogant prick who only cared about his wants. Because . . . that’s the illusion of a celebrity.

I was wrong.

Eli is none of those things, except rich. He’s definitely that, but he’s never selfish with me. We’ve watched television, had takeout, and he’s held me as I’ve cried.

I wrap my arms around him and snuggle closer, inhaling his scent. I love the mix of soap, sandalwood, and musk that is him. He’s asleep, but he instinctively squeezes me tighter. I watch his face as whatever he dreams of makes him smile. I trace the lines on his cheek with the tip of my finger, grazing each little spike of his scruff.

“Hi.” He smiles as his eyes flutter open.

“Hi.”

He shifts a little lower to his side. “Did you sleep?”

I’m not sure that I’ve really slept since that first night. It isn’t for lack of trying, but my body won’t relax. The second night, I woke Eli with my sobs. I relived the entire event at the hospital, only this time I made it in time to watch her fade away.

My mind played every scenario out in the worst way. I don’t know now if it’s a good thing that I wasn’t there. If it was anything like I imagine, I know I wouldn’t be just mourning. I wouldn’t have survived. I was never more grateful for Eli’s presence than I was when I woke, covered in sweat and tears pouring down my face.

“I think I did.”

“Good. How about we grab some food?”

I haven’t eaten much, and thinking about food makes my stomach growl. “I guess I am hungry.”

He laughs. “Come on, I’m starved.”

I follow him into the bathroom and almost scream when I see my face in the mirror. My eyes have dark circles under them. Makeup is now dried on my skin, and I’m not sure if it’s somehow become permanent. I won’t even talk about the mess that is my hair. Jesus. I glance over at Eli, who looks as perfect as always. His hair only looks sexy in its disheveled state, there aren’t any dark circles under his eyes. The deep lines of his hips are more prominent as the basketball shorts hang loosely.

Eli’s eyes move to mine, and he appraises me. “What?” he asks with a grin.

I think he knows I’m checking him out, but I shrug, not caring that I got caught. “Nothing.”

He comes closer, pressing his lips to mine. “You look at me like that, and I can’t help but kiss you.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“You’ll figure it out soon enough.” His kiss is quick and silences me from asking what the hell he sees in my eyes.

When he pulls back, I open my mouth to get my question out, but he moves toward the shower, slowly removing his pants. I stare at his broad shoulders, the way his muscles tense on his back, his now bare ass, and I can’t speak.

For the first time in three days, I want something more to ease my pain. Not food, or him holding me. I need him to make me forget who I am. I feel alone, broken, and Eli has pushed me to stay out of the numbness.

I want to get lost in his green eyes and have him make me feel pleasure. He’s spent every minute ensuring I felt safe. I think back to what Stephanie said: You have to promise me that you’ll let your heart be open. Can you do that?

She was asking so much more than that. She was practically begging me to let myself be vulnerable enough to love again.

“Are you coming in?” Eli asks as he stands in the shower, water dripping down each delicious inch of him.

A thought strikes me, halting my feet. I was never more vulnerable than I have been the last three days. I let him see me at my lowest, and he’s still here with his hand outstretched, calling me to him.

I step toward the man who I never thought I’d feel anything more than lust for. Each stride forward cements what I already knew was happening—I’m falling in love with Eli Walsh.

The steam circles around us as we stand in front of each other. My heart races with the knowledge of my deepening feelings. How did I get here so fast? Is it true that when two people are right for each other, time is irrelevant? Out of all the people in the world, is he really who I’m meant to be with?

His green eyes fill with wonder, as if we’re sharing the same thoughts, and I know . . . I love him.

I lift my hand and place it on his chest. His heartbeat quickens as we both gaze at each other.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Eli’s voice is heavy with confliction.

I’m terrified that if I say the truth, he’ll laugh. I’m frightened that I’ll lose him, like I lose everyone else. The crippling fear keeps me from saying it, but I give him what I can. “That I’m not alone because of you. That I’m afraid of losing you.”

His arms wrap around my shoulder, clutching me as the water falls on us. “I told you, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

I tilt my head back, believing what he says. “I want you to make love to me.”

He tenses, probably scared that I’m not ready. Each touch we’ve shared since that night has been in comfort, and he’ll never grasp the intimacy he showed in that.

“Heather . . .” He hesitates. “I’m not . . .”

“I know.” I put my hand to his lips. “I’m telling you that I need you. I need you to make me feel alive. I want you to make love to me because I want to make love to you.”

His eyes don’t leave mine, and I see the mix of desire and surrender. His fingers slide down my spine as I grip his neck. Both of us move in perfect harmony, and our mouths collide. Eli takes control of the kiss, entering my mouth, and pouring himself into the moment. Each swipe of his tongue solidifies my heart to him.

My hands move down his shoulders, over his thick arms and firm muscles, and then back up again. I love the feel of him beneath me. The way he emboldens me to give myself over.

The kiss continues as we touch each other. It’s as if I’m experiencing him for the first time. His mouth moves against my throat, kissing me as his lips find purchase where it drives me wild.

He moves back to my lips and takes my head in his hands. My gaze meets his, and I see it all. He’s as in love with me as I am with him.

Just as I was too afraid to say it, he doesn’t utter the words, either. However, I know, and I show him the same love back.

The intensity of his stare is too much. My breathing becomes shallow, and he drops his grip and takes my hand. “I want to do something,” he admits. “Will you let me take care of you?”

“You already have.”

I’ll give him anything he wants. I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted any other man.

Eli fills his hand with soap, turns my back to his front, and starts to wash me. He starts at my neck, lathering the soap and moving ever so slightly down to my shoulders. “You have no idea how you make me feel,” he says against my ear. “How much I want to take away your pain. I want to make you smile, baby. I want to give you everything.”

I lean back against him, as he moves to my chest. “I need you so much,” I admit. “It scares me how much you mean to me.”

He spreads the soap across my body with care. We’re both naked, but it’s more than foreplay right now, it’s filled with meaning. Once he’s done washing me, I’m desperate for him.

I need him inside me. I need to feel whole. I need him to fill me with life.

His gaze is brimming with hunger. Neither of us can wait any longer.

He presses my back against the wall and his mouth finds mine. I pour out every ounce of love I feel from my body. I want him to feel how deeply I’m in love with him. My hand reaches for his dick, trying to line it up. I can’t wait. I have to have him right now.

“Heather,” he says against my skin. “We don’t have a condom . . .”

“I have an IUD, and I’m clean.”

His head drops to my shoulder, and he moans. “I’m clean, but are you sure?”

I look up, watching his green eyes beg for me to say yes. But there’s only one thing that falls from my lips. “I love you, Eli. I want you to make love to me.”

I stun myself with my admission and wait for him to freak out.

He pushes the wet hair from my cheek and smiles. “I love you. I loved you the day we were on the boat. I loved you the day your face was covered with paint. I might have even fallen in love with you when you screamed my name at the concert.”

The tears that fall this time aren’t from grief, but from hope. I’m not alone or lost, I found my home.

“You know, I’ve spent my entire life in Tampa, and I’ve never been here,” I state.

Eli chuckles as we continue walking on the trail. “I love this park, Randy used to take me here to fish when my dad was too drunk to be around.”

After our intense shower, Eli told me he wanted to show me something. I wasn’t in the mood to leave our safe haven, but he wasn’t budging, insisting that we were leaving the house before we had to meet with the assisted living director.

“Tell me about your parents.” He doesn’t talk much about his family. I know his mother lives in Tampa, but he hasn’t mentioned her.

He sighs. “Not much to say. My father was a drunk, smacked my mom and Randy around. I don’t remember if he hit me, but Randy says he took the hits so I didn’t have to. From what I’m told, he lost his job and then left.”

“Wow, is that why you and Randy are so close?”

“Yeah, my brother was more of a father than anything. Even though he’s only a few years older, he took me under his wing. When we found out our dad was dead, that was when Randy really made it his job to take care of me.”

It mirrors the relationship between me and Steph. When my parents died, I became the parent figure. It was different because we lost both Mom and Dad, but still, I can imagine what Randy experienced.

I rest my head on his arm as we continue through Lettuce Lake Park. The trees provide shade, allowing us to walk comfortably. It’s Florida, so it’s always hot and humid, but today is bearable. “What about your mom?”

“She’s here in Tampa, but she spends half the year in New York visiting her sister. They do the whole snowbird thing. I don’t get it, but they’ve been doing it for years.” Eli stops in front of the opening by a small pond and grabs my hips. “I want you to meet them.”

I give a small smile. “I’d like that.”

“My brother is up my ass about bringing you to his house. I’d love for you to meet my niece and nephew.”

A sharp pain slices through my chest. Eli having a family shouldn’t hurt me. I know it’s a little irrational for me to be jealous, and a part of me is angry with myself for thinking that way. In my heart, I know all of this, but it’s there.

He rocks my hips back and forth when I don’t say anything. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry I spaced out there.” I try to laugh it off. “Maybe next week?”

“There’s no rush, babe.”

“Okay, I do want to meet them, though. Your niece sounds great.”

I love that while the media portrays Eli as big and bad, he’s a man with a beautiful heart. The fact that he’s so smitten with his niece is proof. I can only imagine how much she rules his world.

Eli tosses his arm over my shoulder, tucking me into the crook of his arm, and we continue walking. I’ve been around tall and strong men my entire career and never felt secure. I’ve always been able to hold my own and am proud of that. With Eli, I can almost relax. I’m not looking for the next bad guy, I’m just happy to be in the moment with him.

“It’s so peaceful here,” he muses.

“I’m glad you brought me here. Stephanie would’ve loved it.”

He smiles down at me, kisses my forehead, and rubs my arm. “That’s the first time you’ve talked about her since the hospital.”

“It hurts to think of her,” I admit.

“Maybe talking will help.”

I don’t know that anything will help, but I know I don’t ever want to forget her. If that’s how I can keep her memory alive, I’ll endure the pain. My sister loved when we’d talk about the funny things my parents did. She would tell me that by whispering their names in the wind, it brought their spirit to life.

I lean into Eli, needing his support. “Stephanie wanted to be a professional gymnast when we were kids. One time, she was practicing doing flips on the bed in my room.” I smile as I remember how disastrous it was. “She missed the bed and her tailbone hit the wall, leaving a big ass imprint.”

He laughs, and I giggle.

“My mom was so mad because we tried to cover it with pillows.”

“Pillows?”

“Yeah, like we could hide the giant butt in the wall and she’d never know.”

Eli shakes his head and grins. It was one of the stories Stephanie loved to tell. I ended up getting grounded because she lied and said it was me. Since it was my room and my bed, my mother never believed me when I told her Steph did it.

She was always doing those kinds of things, taking my clothes, mixed tapes, and any toy I loved. What I wouldn’t give to be able to have that all back, I’d give her anything she wanted.

“You ready to head back?” he asks. “We need to meet the director.”

This is going to be impossible. Collecting her things and getting rid of anything we don’t want . . . I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

“I guess—” I start to say but a woman shrieking stops me.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” A jogger who is no longer running starts to yell. She stares at Eli with her jaw hanging open. “You’re! You’re Eli Walsh! Like, I love you. I’m your biggest fan!”

“Well, thank you.” He flashes a smile and drops his arm.

This is the first time we’ve had this happen. I watch as the woman starts to prattle on about how amazing he is and how hot he is in person. A knot in my stomach starts to coil. I know he’s hot, and I get that he’s famous, but when we’re together, it’s so easy to forget.

“You have no idea, I’ve loved you forever. I know you’re from here, and I kept waiting to meet you! And now you’re here!” She screeches, and I barely contain my flinch.

Eli reaches his hand back, twisting his fingers in mine. “It was great to meet you, but I need to be going,” he smoothly explains.

“Can you take our picture?” she asks me.

The last thing I want to do is be a photographer, but I have to remember this is part of who he is. To me, he’s Ellington, the guy who watched awful comedy movies with me the last two days. He carefully picked each one to ensure nothing would trigger me breaking down again. He made sure I ate, slept, and functioned. He’s the man who held me together when I was breaking apart. I don’t share that man with these women, but Eli is a superstar. He doesn’t belong to just me.

“Oh, sure.” I grab her phone, and he shoots me an apologetic look.

The woman gushes some more, touches his arm, and doesn’t even glance at me again. I take the photo and watch her hug him once more. She runs off, glancing back at him a few more times. What is wrong with these people? I know that I did that with Eli, but I was drunk and at a concert where I never thought he’d actually hear me. If I had been sober and in a normal setting, I would have waved or smiled, but telling him I loved him? No. That’s ridiculous.

I love him. She doesn’t even know him.

He walks toward me, and I can’t get a grip on the emotions I’m feeling. “Hey,” he says tucking his thumb under my chin. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” This is what his life is filled with, he shouldn’t have to apologize for that.

“I brought you here because I wanted us to get some air, I forget that this can happen.”

“How do you forget that?”

Regret flickers across his face. He reaches behind his neck, gripping it as he looks back at me. “When we’re together, it’s like I’m not that guy. You make me forget all of the shit that comes with singing and acting. I feel . . . normal.”

“I was caught off guard, that’s all. I’m pretty sure if this happened a week ago I wouldn’t be acting crazy.”

“You are not acting crazy, baby. Not even a little.”

I don’t trust whatever I’m thinking right now. It’s a hint of jealousy mixed with a lot of grief. Not exactly the cocktail for sound decision making. I’m definitely filing this instance in my memory bank to recall later. I need to reconcile loving someone who I have to share. I’m not sure I know how to do that.