Oh my God. Oh my God. I’m going to a private place with Eli. What the hell am I thinking? I’m not. Clearly, I’m having some kind of out-of-body experience. I would never do this. Yet, here I am, holding his hand and walking away from the meet and greet.

“You okay?” His deep voice is laced with concern.

“I’m great.” I’m such a liar.

“Yeah? Because you’re shaking.”

My entire body is trembling. I haven’t pinpointed whether it’s because I’m excited or scared out of my fucking mind. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. I focus on my breathing. I’m in high stress situations all the time, this should be a cake walk.

This is, as Nicole says, hooking up. Apparently, people do this all the time and it’s normal. I can be normal. I can put all this crazy shit aside and be in the moment.

Just let tonight be what it is and enjoy it.

I clear my throat and smile. “This kind of stuff never happens to me.”

He chuckles as he comes to a stop in front of the tour bus. “What kind of stuff?”

“This,” I say a little high-pitched. “I don’t typically drink, scream at random people, get serenaded, get asked backstage, and now . . .” I trail off. There’s no way I’m finishing that statement, because I don’t know what exactly is happening. Maybe he wants to ask me about something dumb. He may not want sex. I don’t know that I want sex.

That’s a lie.

I totally want sex. I want to let loose like Nicole told me to. To be completely without fear of consequence for just one night. I’m always responsible. My life is practically a billboard for sensibility. I uphold the law, care for my sister, work to support myself and Steph, volunteer at the youth center, but I never let loose.

I’m going to have fun. Well, if he wants to.

Thank you Jesus for beer. Or whichever person made it.

“What do you want to happen, Heather?” Eli’s eyes smolder as he tugs me close.

Oh. Fuck. Me.

“I-I . . .” my mouth goes dry.

His hands move around my hips as he shifts us so my back is against the door of the bus. He’s so close. Eli’s touch travels up my sides until he stops at my neck. “Well? We can talk or we can do something else.”

I think back to what Nicole said. “Let go for one night.” And for tonight, I’m going to fulfill my teenage fantasy. I’m going to sleep with Eli Walsh . . . on a tour bus . . . after an FBD concert.

My back straightens as I muster my inner Nicole. I press my body against his, hooking my hand around his back. “I think we can find something else to do.”

His green eyes flash with surprise before his mouth collides against my lips. Every inch of his body is flush with mine. Our lips move in harmony as he fumbles for the door handle. As soon as the door opens, we fall back. He walks me backward up the steps and through the vehicle without missing a beat or stumbling.

I lose myself in his kiss. He isn’t soft or gentle. No, he devours me. It’s passion unbridled. Neither of us worry about finesse. This is unlike any kiss I ever shared with Matt. He was slow, cold, and perfunctory. There was no need.

I need this. I need to escape my mind.

Eli pushes me where he wants me while holding my head in his grip. My fingers roam his body as we continue to move. He opens the door to the bedroom. “Bed,” he mutters before his lips find mine again.

I pull at his shirt, breaking the kiss as I tear it off. “Wow,” I say as my eyes take in his chest. My fingers move slowly over his pecs and then down toward his abs, rising and falling over each valley and divot. He doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, and I can feel every flex and pulse beneath my fingertips.

“You’re beautiful.” His soulful eyes lock on mine as he pushes my hair back.

“I’m average.”

His gaze rakes over my body before coming back to mine. “There’s nothing average about you, Heather.”

That’s all I need. My hand grasps his neck, and I bring his mouth back to me. No one has ever made me feel like this. And I’m still dressed.

He uses his weight to push me onto the bed. I revel in the feel of him braced above me. It’s Eli fucking Walsh. Before I know it, my shirt is coming off, and I’m grabbing for his buckle. I undo it before he rolls me on top of him.

Our lips move in perfect unison, and my heart beats out of my chest. In the back of my mind, I know how out of character this is for me, but I can’t stop. I want to be wild and crazy. The fact that I’m going to sleep with Eli is a little overwhelming, but it feels right. Maybe because I’ve dreamed of him since I was a kid. Maybe it’s because I’m drunk as hell. Either way, it’s happening.

I sit up, fully on display as I unhook my bra. My blonde hair spills in front of me, giving me a little coverage. Our eyes lock, and I glide the straps down.

Eli grins beneath me as the material falls away. I’m not fully exposed, but it’s enough for him to see what he wants. “You have perfect tits,” his deep voice is smooth as silk. “Move your hair, baby. I want to see all of you.” Eli puts his hands behind his head, watching with rapt attention.

I do as he says. Again, totally out of character. I’m always in charge, but I surrender to him without question and pull my hair back before lowering closer to him. My breasts hang, just barely brushing against his chest. “I never do this.”

“Do what?” He lifts his hand and rubs his finger across my cheek.

“Casual sex.”

“Seems I’m breaking a lot of your rules.”

I struggle to keep my voice steady. “I would say so.”

“Do you want to stop?” His fingers slide down my neck and over my breast before he rubs tiny circles around my nipple.

“No.”

He smiles. “Do you like the way I touch you? The way my fingers feel against your skin?”

“Yes,” I admit.

“How bad do you want this?” Eli asks as he takes my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

There are no words. I’ve been tasered, and this is more electric. Every inch of me is humming. I want this to never end. One-night stands aren’t all that bad, I’ve been missing out.

I drop down and kiss his lips.

“Heather?” He pulls my attention back. “Answer me.”

“What was the question?”

He chuckles. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” I moan.

As soon as I say the word, he rolls me onto my back. His hands grip my breasts as he massages and kneads. I close my eyes and lose myself in his touch. Then I feel his tongue against my skin. The heat from his mouth and the cool air in the room sends shivers down my spine.

I need more. I rock my chest up, silently begging. He sucks and licks the right side and then pays attention to the left. Eli starts to move lower, and I lift my head. No way is he going down on me. I can’t. I’ve only ever let Matt do that, and it was not a good experience.

He unbuttons my jeans that took me five minutes to get into, and I grab his hand. “You don’t have to,” I say quickly.

“I want to.”

Want to? Matt said no man wants to do this, they do it because they have to.

“I’m serious.” I give him another out.

Eli rises onto his knees then hooks his fingers in my jeans. “I’m serious, too. I want to taste you. I want to make you scream my fucking name so loud that everyone here knows what I’m doing to you.” The heat in his eyes melts me.

“I know that most guys don’t like it . . .” He stops, giving me a confused look, which makes me feel naïve and a bit stupid. “I mean, I’ve been told by . . . that . . .”

Eli pulls my pants lower. “Did you ever come on a man’s tongue?”

“No.”

“You’re going to come on mine.” He leaves no room for question. “A real man eats pussy. Only selfish pricks refuse to give their girl what they need.”

I lie completely speechless. But I don’t have time to think about what he said, because he’s ripping my pants and underwear off. Eli lifts my legs, throwing them over his shoulder, and his gaze melts me. He watches me as he moves closer, taking his time, causing my heart to race.

At the first swipe of his tongue, I’m done.

But it only gets better. Eli knows what he’s doing. His tongue presses against my clit, moving in circles, then up and down. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt. Sweat starts to bead on my forehead as my climax builds. He wasn’t kidding about making me come.

My fingers grip the blanket as I try to hold back, try to stay on the ground. He forces me to climb higher and higher as he continues to drive me toward ecstasy. “Holy shit. Oh, my God,” I mumble.

He stops for a second, slips his finger inside, and sucks even harder. I twist and start to tremble as he continues to drive me forward. Another finger joins the first, and he pushes deeper, crooking them just right and hitting the blessed spot that no man has ever found before. I burst apart.

Everything inside of me clenches as I fall over the cliff. I scream his name, exactly like he promised I would, and then become mush.

Holy shit. I’m dead. Died. Gone to heaven. I’ve met my maker because this man is a God.

My breathing is erratic, and my heart is thumping so loud that I swear he can hear it. “Wow.”

“I told you.” Eli crawls his way toward my face.

“You made good on your promise.” My voice is low and full of appreciation. “I think you’re a little overdressed, Eli.”

“What are you going to do about it?” he taunts.

Making the most of the space between us, I slip my hand down and slide the zipper the rest of the way open. Then I remove his pants and boxers, allowing his impressive length to spring free. “This,” I say as I wrap my fingers around him.

He lets out a low hiss as I slide my hand from base to tip. I watch his face, learning what makes his jaw tick or his eyes close. My thumb grazes the tip, and he pushes me back. “I want to fuck you.”

Our mouths connect, tongues swirl, and our hands roam over each other. “I need you,” I beg almost desperately. “I need you right now.” I’ve never begged or been vocal during sex before. Ever.

Eli grabs a condom from the nightstand and rolls it on before getting back to where we were.

“You’re making me break my rules, too,” he confesses. I don’t have a chance to ask what the hell he’s talking about before he enters me.

My eyes slam shut as I stretch to accommodate him. He’s big. Bigger than I’ve ever had before. He doesn’t move like I expect him to, and I open my eyes.

“You okay?” Eli asks.

I nod quickly.

Eli drops on his forearm and kisses me with care. This kiss isn’t the same as the ones before. It’s slow, sensual, almost sweet. My fingers tangle in his hair as he begins to rock back slowly. He moans in my mouth as he continues to be gentle.

“Eli,” I groan. It’s too much. Everything about him is incredible. His thumb rubs back and forth on my cheek as he slides in and out. “You feel so good.”

“So do you. What are you doing to me?” I glance up at him to find him watching me. “I want to make you come again.”

Well, that would be nice.

He rolls over, forcing me to be on top. I never got to be on top much in the past. When I did, it was the only time I got off. Considering how good this feels, I doubt I won’t climax again.

“Ride me, baby.”

And I do. I glide up and down, allowing him to fill me to the brink. I rake my fingers across his chest, enjoying the way he groans. Eli is just as lost as I am. I move faster as my orgasm builds again. “I’m gonna come.”

“Good. Hurry, baby. You’re going to make me come the way you’re gripping my cock.” Eli grits his teeth as his fingers dig into the flesh of my hips, pulling me down harder as he thrusts up to meet me. I’m undone.

“Eli!” I cry out as my climax hits me hard. He continues to move me as he follows me to the end.

I fall next to him and try to catch my breath. Neither of us speak as we come down from the high.

As I lie there naked, it hits me that this really happened. It isn’t just some dream. This is real. I had sex with a member of Four Blocks Down on his tour bus. Where he’s done this with I don’t know how many girls. I’ve never had sex with a random stranger before and now I’m lying here with a man that probably only does that. I’m not special, he probably doesn’t even remember my name since all he did was call me “baby”.

The bed shifts as Eli rises. “You need anything?”

A shower and a lobotomy. “No,” I reply quickly.

“I’ll be right back.”

He heads into what I assume is the bathroom, and I jump up. I can’t believe this. What the hell is wrong with me? What was I thinking? Clearly, I wasn’t. I blame Nicole.

“What’s your last name?” he asks from the other side of the door.

I quickly throw my clothes on. I need to get out of here. “Covey,” I reply while pulling on my jeans. Where the hell did my underwear go? I look around and under the bed but don’t see them. Damn it.

He flushes the toilet, and I’m out of time. I can’t look at him. I need to go before he returns.

I grab my heels and phone and rush off the bus. I need Nicole, and then we need to leave. Now.

I spot her as soon as I walk through the door. Thank God. Nicole is making out with some guy in the hallway. Typical. I grab her arm and pull.

“We have to go,” I explain.

She looks back at the guy, “I’m—”

“No. We have to go right now.”

“Heather,” she protests.

“Now!” I yell at her, and her eyes widen.

I’m not known for yelling, but when I do . . . I mean business.

“Bye.” She says to the guy, and I drag her along. “Slow down.”

I don’t even acknowledge her. My mind runs in circles as I think about what just happened.

“We have to go.” There’s no way I can look at his face.

“You said that,” she grumbles as we move. “What happened?”

I shake my head, pulling her into almost a sprint. I’m going to be sick. It was amazing, and so ridiculously good, but so wrong. I’m not a one-night stand girl. I’m a commitment and get-to-know-you girl. The guys at least know my last name. I’m a slut. I’m worse than a slut . . . I’m a groupie slut.

“Don’t make me stop walking,” Nicole threatens. “You know I will.”

“Fine,” I stop as we get to the exit door. “We had sex. Really good sex. You happy?”

The size of the smile on her face is all the answer I need. She looks like a proud mother at a talent show.

“Fuck yeah, I’m happy. Why are we running away?”

“Because . . .” I huff. “We had sex! I had sex with him! We have to go.”

I push through the door, still dragging Nicole behind me. “That doesn’t explain why you’re running barefoot through the arena.”

I’m not explaining this to her. “Just keep moving.”

We finally exit, and I could literally cry. They closed the gates to the parking lot.

“Now what?” she asks, looking at the tall metal gate with big ass locks on it.

We could go to the south entrance, but that would take too long. There’s only one option. “We climb.”

“The hell we do!”

I let out a heavy breath and glare at her. “Nicole, I just did something so unlike me that I’m not even sure it was me. So, we’re climbing the fence because you’re my best friend and I need to get the fuck out of here.”

“Babe.” Nicole’s eyes fill with sadness. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m a groupie slut.”

“You’re so not a groupie. You’re the furthest thing from a slut.”

I don’t respond. Instead, I chuck my shoes over the fence and start to climb.

When I was twelve, I could climb fences pretty quick. Especially growing up in Tampa where we would hop fences to get to each other’s yards. But I’m not even halfway up and I’m winded, my foot has slipped more than once, and I can only imagine what I look like from below.

“Shit!” I yell as my toe misses the next opening. Nicole’s laughter fills the air. “Stop laughing and start climbing!”

“This is priceless.” she laughs harder. “Wait. Let me get my camera!”

“Nicole! We need to get out of here in case he comes looking for me.”

“Fine. Fine. Chicken shit.” Her shoes fly over my head, and the entire fence shakes. “You owe me.”

“Stop moving!” I try not to laugh, but it’s futile. This is hysterical. “I’m going to pee,” tears fall from my eyes as I hold on.

“I need a Go-Pro for the next time we go out.”

“I hate you,” I say between giggles.

She purposely rocks back, causing me to almost fall. “You only wish you did.”

“If I fall . . .” I warn as I sway and try to climb higher.

“It’ll be what you deserve for making me climb a freaking fence at one in the morning!”

The amount of ways that I’m going to pay for this is unimaginable. My co-workers saw me being sung to on stage, I’m sure one of the guys from my squad caught me going backstage, I’m going to have scrapes from climbing a fence, and Nicole will never let me live this down.

I reach the top, one leg swung over on one side and one still in Eli-land. And that’s when I hear him. “You’re going to just run out?” Eli’s voice is filled with disbelief. “Just like that?”

I get myself over the other side and climb to the ground so I have the fence between us. Nicole is near the top, watching this unfold. “This was a mistake. It should’ve never happened.”

“So, you run?” He takes a step closer, and I thank God for the metal between us.

“Nic,” I whisper-shout, urging her to come down, and she starts to descend. I glance back at Eli, who stands before me with no shirt or shoes. His chest heaves as if he ran here to find me. I stare at him. “It’s better this way,” I say, wishing Nicole would hurry the hell up.

“Why? Says who? You didn’t even give me a chance!” Eli grips the back of his neck.

“This would never work. Seriously. You don’t have to try.”

Even if my life were completely peachy, which it isn’t, Eli and I would never work. We had sex, it doesn’t mean I want more, but there isn’t even a chance I could. I’ve already seen that men are selfish, and I can’t even provide enough attention for a local police lieutenant, there’s no way I can do it for a world renowned actor and singer.

Eli takes another step, his hand gripping the steel separating us. “You said you don’t do this before, well, I don’t chase after girls who run out, so we’re both doing something different. I wanted to talk . . . I wasn’t asking for anything, Heather.”

So, he does know my name, that makes me feel marginally better.

Nicole finally drops down beside me, and tears fill my eyes. I know she sees it. I’m not upset because of him. I’m upset because of me.

“Let’s go.”

She knows me well enough to know I’m in over my head. The reason I’ve never done casual is because I feel too much. I’ve had life-long friendships, one boyfriend who I married, and a sister who needs me—casual doesn’t fit into my life. Now that I’ve come down from the buzz and adrenaline, I feel empty.

I release a heavy breath and shove down my emotions.

“Look. I’m sorry I ran out, but I have to go. I don’t belong here anyway.” I’m not sure what the proper etiquette is for running away from a man you’ve spent your entire adolescent and part of your adult life dreaming of and then slept with, but this seems appropriate. I grab my shoes and start to walk away.

“Heather, wait.” I glance back at him over my shoulder. “I just—”

“Goodbye, Eli.”

There’s no way I’m looking back, because if I do, I might not keep walking.

As we start to sprint, my phone dings with a voice mail. It’s Stephanie’s facility.

With my fingers trembling, I press play. “Hi, Ms. Covey, this is Becca from Breezy Beaches Assisted Living. Stephanie had a . . .” She pauses as if she can’t find the right words. “She’s been transferred via ambulance to Tampa General Hospital. Please call me as soon as you can.”

The tears I fought back fall without a thought. “It’s Steph. We have to run.”