Ten
As Bridgette melted into Lachlan’s arms he released the control he still held over his body. She filled his mind, his senses, and his hands. He moved his mouth over hers, devouring its softness and drinking in her sweet taste.
She moaned into his mouth, and he captured the sensuous sound as it became a part of his soul. He didn’t know what he had expected, but the frantic way she returned his kisses and the mewling sounds coming from deep within her throat told him her desire was every bit as great as his. He had an aching need to kiss her deeper.
A savage intensity gripped him as he slipped his hands under her legs and picked her up only to lay her gently on the ground. Her eyes widened, but she did not protest. He straddled her and then slid his hands through her hair, down the silken skin of her neck, and to her breasts. His fingers brushed the hard buds of her nipples, which strained beneath her gown, and a strangled cry broke from her lips. He expected her to jerk away from him, but her hands came around his neck and grasped him tightly, as if she were afraid he’d change his mind. Her legs wrapped around his waist and locked behind his back. A whispered warning sounded in his mind, but he ruthlessly shoved it away.
He pulled down the front of her gown to expose her full, beautiful breasts. Her rosy nipples formed perfect peaks, and he could not find any will left in him to resist her. When he took her breast in his mouth, she bucked underneath him, her hands fisting in his hair.
“Lachlan!” she cried out raggedly.
He flicked his tongue over the tip of her nipple, making her writhe and pant beneath him and causing his need for her to become painful. He trailed kisses up her belly and neck to her mouth before claiming her lips. Then he rose up on his knees and looked down at her. Her red, swollen lips appeared good and properly kissed. Her flaming hair fanned out around her face, and her emerald eyes fairly glowed with desire. With complete and utter reverence, he touched her cheek as his chest squeezed.
“Ye are so beautiful it’s sinful,” he murmured, caught in a dream.
Her half-lidded eyes flew wide, and her lips parted as if she’d just been awoken. Horror swept across her face as she reached down and yanked up her gown. “What have we done? What have I done? We let desire carry us away!”
What he felt for Bridgette was more than desire. “I need ye,” he choked out, surprised at his words and the desperate sound of his own voice. He did not look at Bridgette as he spoke but kept his gaze down to the ground as a war between honor and desire raged within him. “I need ye more than I need air to breathe.”
“That’s lust talking,” she replied in a determined voice. He knew what she was trying to do—to make what was between them simple. But it wasn’t. It was complicated. He didn’t even fully understand it.
He stared down at her. “It’s nae simply lust. I dunnae ken exactly what it is, but I ken it’s nae simply desire.”
Tears sprung to her eyes and leaked out of the corners to trail down the sides of her face. His heart clenched as he brushed them quickly away. She swallowed audibly and then spoke. “What of Graham?”
Lachlan moved to sit beside her and then held out his hand to help her raise up. Questions flooded his mind, and he was uncertain which to ask first. Finally, he settled with what he thought was the most important. “Why were ye going to marry Graham?” He had a suspicion, but he wanted her to confirm it.
Slowly, she turned her head toward him and their gazes locked. “Because he risked his life for me and sustained a terrible injury in doing so. But Marion made me see how wrong that reason was. Even greedy. I was marrying him to ease the guilt his selfless act caused me. But I ken I dunnae love him, and I dunnae believe I would ever love him the way he deserves to be loved—with all of a woman’s heart. It’s nae anything he’s done.”
He blew out a long, relieved breath. “When will ye tell Graham?”
“As soon as he returns to Dunvegan,” she replied, her tone filled with remorse and reluctance.
“Why did ye never show me yer interest?” he asked. Graham’s declaration of love for Bridgette had stopped Lachlan from ever pursuing her, but Bridgette had not known of that.
“I did nae ken if ye desired me,” she responded. “I was waiting for a sign that never came. Ye’re blind, though!” she accused. “I did nae hide it, really. Iain even teased me when last he came to my home with Marion, saying that ye were nae the man for me.”
“Did he?” Lachlan asked, shocked. “He never mentioned it.”
Bridgette eyed him. “Perchance he did nae wish anything to develop between us.”
Lachlan thought about this. Iain had not known of Graham’s declaration over Bridgette. Likely Iain had simply been teasing her or he had thought Lachlan had some settling to do. There had been a spell when he’d willingly accepted all offers of joining the comely lasses threw his way. He’d been searching for something, and he knew now the something could not have been found in a romp. He wanted something deeper, something he suspected he could only find with Bridgette.
“What of Lillias, Lachlan? And Helena?” Her tone was stilted, as if she had to know but feared his response.
The first part was easy to answer. “Lillias threw herself at me. I dunnae desire her at all. I set her aside as quickly and gently as I could.”
Bridgette nodded, her face softening enough to tell him she accepted what he said as the truth. “And Helena?”
He’d known when he had started this talk that she’d demand answers, but he had not known what he would say. Looking at her now, still flushed from their passionate embrace, her taste still lingering in his mouth, her smell still surrounding him, he knew he had to tell her as much of the truth as he could. He had made a vow to the king not to reveal his suspicions until he was ready, but Lachlan could tell her enough that she would no longer think him a dishonorable devil.
“I gave false pledges to aid the king. It is temporary and for the purpose of getting information from Helena. She is a cunning Campbell, to be certain,” he added, wishing he could tell her more but honor bound by his vow.
He heard her inhale sharply, but then she shook her head. “It should nae matter to me. I should nae have asked.”
“Why should ye nae have asked?” he demanded, unease pricking him. He did not want her to give up before they even had a chance. “Why should it nae matter to ye?”
“Do ye really need to ask?” she demanded, her green eyes flaring.
Graham. In the end, they circled back to Graham.
Lachlan dragged a hand through his hair and stared down at the ground, wishing to think before answering. He had a feeling what he said next might be the most important thing he ever spoke. Even though Bridgette did not love Graham, he thought himself in love with her. Therefore, he would consider Lachlan courting Bridgette a betrayal of their bond of brotherhood, and the hatred and anger that would come from that would widen the rift between them that already pained Lachlan so. And it would possibly rip their family apart.
Lachlan clenched his teeth. He did not want that. There had to be a way, though, for him and Bridgette to one day be able to explore what was between them.
Time! That’s what they needed. In time, this thing with Helena would be finished, and Graham could meet someone new. He opened his mouth to speak, but Bridgette spoke first.
“I saw Eolande,” she said, her glistening gaze locking with his and imploring him to listen and understand.
He nodded, his gut telling him he’d not like what she was about to say.
“She told me my desire was greater than my ability to vanquish it.”
“Aye,” he murmured, feeling slightly relieved. If the seer had said it was hopeless to fight this thing between them, then surely it was.
Bridgette gave a harsh laugh, which made him flinch. “Dunnae be calmed, Lachlan. Eolande told me if I did nae control my desire until the time to embrace it was at hand, then I’d be the storm to destroy the bond of brotherhood.”
He seized the opportunity. “That’s what we need! Time! Time for my pledge to Helena to be dissolved, and time for Graham to forget ye. Then our time will come to discover just how deep this thing between us is.”
Bridgette’s eyes widened, and he thought she might just agree, but then she shook her head. Disappointment and denial filled him.
“Lachlan, Eolande also said that jealousy will drive one of ye to lie, to risk yer life, and to hurt the one ye love. And for the other one of ye, jealousy will drive him to his death, whereupon vengeance shall resurrect him.” Bridgette visibly shuddered, and he trembled with her, the words striking at the heart of his own fear. “Do ye see now?” she rasped. “Do ye ken? I will rip ye and Graham apart if we pursue this. We must let whatever this is go! We must forget each other!”
He pulled her to him, her womanly softness to his hardness, and buried his face in her fragrant hair. “I’ve tried,” he said, not bothering to hide his misery any longer. “Have ye nae tried yerself?”
“God’s teeth, aye!” she cried out. “Ye haunt me, ye wee devil!”
Despite the gravity of their predicament, a smile tugged at his lips, and he knew then exactly what he must say. “Wait for me,” he implored, the words tumbling from his mouth, despite the fact that he did not even know how long he was asking her to wait or what she might be waiting for. He simply knew he had to ask. “Wait for us and the time to come when we may discover what draws us to each other and tempts us, in spite of it all.” His breath caught deep in his throat as he waited for her to respond.
“I will wait for ye,” she whispered. “I dunnae believe I have a choice.”
Leaning toward her, he pressed his lips to hers, and for a long sweet moment, their tongues swirled and tangled. Finally, he forced himself to pull away, knowing the day was marching quickly toward darkness. He did not doubt his ability to protect her, but he did not want to take unnecessary risks, which reminded him of why he had followed her in the first place.
“Bridgette, I need ye nae to wander away from the castle unaccompanied by men. Many men. Actually, dunnae depart castle grounds unless I’m with ye.”
She frowned. “Why?”
’Twas a good question, and he did not have an exact reason, only suspicions. “My uncle returning to Scotland and Helena.”
Bridgette snorted. “Helena! I could easily defend myself from Helena.”
“Aye,” he agreed. “But perchance her father’s desire to have her pledged to me has something to do with you.”
“Me?” Bridgette asked, her scowl deepening.
Lachlan rubbed a hand across his face as he thought how to best explain himself. “Colin Campbell wished to marry ye, and ye declined that offer. Yer brother will feel a sense of obligation to be allies with whomever ye marry, and ye ken as well as I do that the Campbell kens this.”
“Aye, but—Oh!” She gasped. “Do ye suspect the Campbell laird sent Helena here to get close to me? To sway me? And pledging her to ye gave the man a reason for his daughter to come?”
“I dunnae ken for certain,” he answered honestly. “And I believe Helena is here for more than just ye.”
“I dunnae believe it’s me at all,” Bridgette replied. “She’s barely even talked to me except to ask me of the Fairy Flag when I stumbled upon her.”
Lachlan tensed. “What did she say?”
“She said Colin had told her the history of it, and that she was curious. I thought it a bit odd that Colin would be speaking of yer clan’s—” Bridgette abruptly stopped speaking as her eyes popped wide. “Do ye believe she might be here to steal the flag?”
“Aye,” Lachlan confirmed. “I ken it to be so, but the flag is nae in danger. I must learn why else she is here. Now, do ye ken why I wish ye to stay near the castle?”
Bridgette nodded.
Relieved, he stood and held his hand out to her to help her stand. Once she was up, he released her hand, wishing to hold on to her yet knowing it was best if they did not touch again, not until their time came. She was simply too much temptation for him to resist once he touched her. He stared at her hand and looked into her eyes to find her watching him.
“Bridgette, I—”
“Ye dunnae need to say more. We will nae touch.”
He nodded, and then they collected their horses together, side by side, as close as they could get without grazing, which was much too far apart for him.
They rode in silence, but Bridgette’s thoughts were deafening. Her mind turned with all that had happened, from the news about Helena and Lachlan, to what Eolande had told her, to the kisses and embraces she had shared with Lachlan, to her vow to wait for him. She’d not dared to hope to hear such words from him, and she feared in daring to hope that now they both risked destroying themselves.
She could feel him beside her, power rolling off him in hot waves. To think his need for her had rattled his incredible strength left her with a feeling of awe and fear. Lachlan was a man who lived to protect others, and she sensed his honor was tied to his need to do so. Ever since she could remember, Lachlan had always seemed to be looking out for Graham, even more so than Iain, who was laird and the eldest, but she’d never thought to ask why before now.
“Tell me of yer relationship with Graham,” she said into the silence.
He turned slightly and looked at her. “It has long been strained, and I have long tried to repair the rift. In spite of that, he is my brother. I would die for him, and I would die to defend him.”
Bridgette swallowed hard, thinking upon the seer’s words. “What caused the strain?”
“When I was a young lad, our mother fell ill. She feared she was going to die, and one day, she called all of us into her bedchamber and bid each of us to vow to watch over the others when she was gone. She instructed Iain to watch over all of us. I was to watch out for Graham. Graham for Lena, Lena for Cameron, and Cameron was still a wee bairn, so he was nae given anyone to watch over. Mother recovered but nae fully, and she made sure we kenned she expected us to fulfill our duties.”
Bridgette nodded, listening carefully.
“One day,” he went on, “when Graham was supposed to be watching over Lena, she drowned. She was only seven summers but she kenned how to swim, so Graham decided she would be safe without him. He wanted to catch a rabbit for our mother because she’d told him he needed to become a better hunter like I was. I teased him about it for days. When he returned from trying to catch the rabbit, Atholl was in the water frantically searching for Lena. He’d been on guard duty at the seagate stairs, had heard her crying for help, and raced into the water when he saw her going under. But he could nae find her… We searched for days for her body, but the loch swallowed her up.”
Lachlan’s face twisted in pain, and Bridgette’s chest squeezed at his obvious guilt. “If I’d nae teased Graham but taught him to hunt with more skill, he’d nae have left Lena in the water to chase after that rabbit.” He paused, as if deep in thought. “After Lena died, Graham withdrew from me. I ken he blamed me for teasing him, and he was right to do so. I was to watch out for him, and I failed.”
“Ye did what any child would do to a sibling, Lachlan. Ye were nae to blame for yer sister’s drowning and neither was Graham.”
“After it happened, I vowed always to treat others with respect and to be humble. To be a defender, above all. I honed my body into a weapon so I could keep those I love safe. Do ye ken?”
She nodded, new feelings building in her that she’d never experienced. She had yearned for Lachlan, had known he was good and honorable, but to talk with him this way, for him to let her see a glimpse inside his heart, made a deeper caring pulse within her.
“But—” he sighed “—It seemed the stronger I became, the more tournaments I won, the more I tried to watch over Graham and keep him from harm, the more he drew away from me. Sometimes I think he despises me.”
“He kinnae see beyond his jealousy,” she said, suddenly sure it was true.
Lachlan shrugged. “I dunnae ken if that’s so or nae. We have nae ever been close, nae like Iain and I are, since Lena drowned.”
Sadness welled in Bridgette’s throat. How awful Graham must have felt about Lena when he was supposed to be watching her. Surely their mother had not held Graham accountable. Surely, others had told him it was not his fault. “Did ye tell him he was nae to blame?”
“Of course. I told him I was to blame for failing him, and he scoffed at me and stalked away.”
The sorrow in Lachlan’s voice pierced her deep. He loved his brother, and he’d done all in his power to show Graham that. No matter what happened, she could not be the thing that drove them irrevocably apart.
“Ye must vow something to me,” she said.
“And what might that be?” he asked warily.
She took a deep breath, a hard knot of fear forming in her belly. “Pledge to me that if it becomes a choice between Graham and me, ye will choose Graham.” She didn’t know where the worry came from, but it was there, along with a sense that a time would come when Lachlan would, indeed, be forced to pick between her and his brother. She wanted—no, needed—to release him from the choice by making it for him.
“That will nae come to pass,” he replied in a hard, unrelenting voice.
“But if it does?” she demanded.
His face grew serious and somber. “I will choose ye both.”
She knew she would not get the vow she was after, so she relented. “Ye’re a stubborn Scot,” she grumbled.
“Aye,” he said with a chuckle. “Almost as stubborn as ye.”