KYLE

“Kyle, thank God.” Rebecca rushed toward me, pulling me into her arms. But the hug didn’t last long. She yanked herself back and schooled her face in concern. “You have some explaining to do, young man.”

“Rebecca, give him some space,” Dad said calmly.

Too. Fucking. Calm.

As if he couldn’t possibly be the reason for my runaway act.

“It’s good to see you, bro.” Rick came up to me and we did that awkward guy-hug thing but then Lo was there, wrapping her arms around me, whispering how pissed she was at me under her breath.

“Thank the Lord,” another voice chimed in and I watched my grandma and grandad waltz out of the kitchen. “We’ve been worried sick.” My grandma threw me her best scowl.

“I—” I had nothing.

I’d expected Dad and Rebecca to be worried. But I hadn’t expected to find them amidst some kind of family vigil. I hadn’t even been gone twenty-four hours, and I’d kept Rick informed of my whereabouts. Kind of.

“Son.”

I froze. Lifting my head, my eyes collided with Dad’s and I ground out, “We need to talk.”

The room fell silent. Lo and Rick gave me some space. Summer stayed back, shooting me a meek smile. There was no sign of Macey. Guess her stepbrother going AWOL didn’t warrant her concern.

Whatever.

It wasn’t like I’d done it for attention or the welcome home committee. I'd needed time to think. To make sense on the new world I now lived in. Where dead mothers resurrected, and solid dependable fathers were liars. 

“Kyle? What is it, son, what’s wrong?”

“We should talk, in private,” I added.

Rebecca opened her mouth to protest because, of course, anything I had to say to him, I could say to her. But I doubted she was ready to hear anything about to come out of my mouth.

“Please.”

It wasn’t a plea, but Dad went to his wife—the woman who helped raise me—and whispered something in her ear. She nodded tightly and ushered Rick, Lo, and Summer, into the kitchen. My gran and grandad lingered unsure of what to do, but I made the decision for them.

“You need to hear this.” After all, this affected them too.

“Son.” Dad motioned to the living room, waiting for me to go first.

He kept saying that... son, like he needed to remind himself of our relationship. It was weird. And part of me wondered if he knew what was coming. If he sensed the bomb I was about to drop.

Dad waited for us to file into the living room and shut the door behind him.

“I...” I choked. The words had all been there. Stewing. But now I was here, now he was looking at me with concern in his eyes, I wanted to puke.

“Kyle, dear, are you okay? You look a little green.” My gran ushered my grandad to pass me the bottle of water he was holding, but I refused it, running a brisk hand over my head. Once. Twice. Three times. To be sure I was doing this.

No backing out now.

“Why did you do it?”

Not my best moment considering I had rehearsed this moment over and over in my head while I hung out at Matty’s.

“Do it? I don’t understand, what are you talking about, Son?” Confusion danced in my father’s eyes and a part of me hated myself for what I was about to do. After everything he’d been through at the hands of Rick’s Dad... but he’d lied. The one man I’d spent my whole life worshipping had lied.

Worse than that, he’d taken away my right to know my mother.

“Cut the bullshit, Dad.” My gran gasped and muttered something about ‘cussing in front of your elders’, but my eyes were locked on Dad’s, waiting for the penny to drop.

And when it did, his whole body seemed to shrink into itself. “H- how did you find out?”

“Kiera, my sister, paid me a little visit.”

The remaining blood drained from his face and I knew I had him by the balls. But then I realized something else—my grandparents had gone deathly quiet. I studied my grandmother. Beatrice Stone. So well put together. So poised. But her usually polished facade was nowhere to be seen now.

“No,” she gasped.

“Oh yes, Gran. Imagine my surprise to find out not only that I had a sister, but that my mom, the woman I thought abandoned me, the woman I thought wanted nothing to do with me, had tried to contact me. She tried to see me.” The muscles in my jaw clenched as I tried to maintain control.

“Kyle, I can explain,” Dad cleared his throat, loosening his collar.

“Good, because I’d really love to hear how you forgot to tell me that my mother—the woman who gave birth to me—tried to reconnect with me and you failed to mention it.” My chest heaved with the weight of my words. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to get that all off my chest until the last word left my mouth.

Dad stood, pacing in short lines. Back and forth. Back and forth. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he murmured. “Everything I’ve ever done, it was only to protect you, son, you have to understand that.”

My eyes bugged as I fought back the urge to put my fist through the coffee table. “Understand? Are you kidding me? She tried to see me. All these years I thought...” I shook my head clear and met his apologetic gaze. “I deserved to know. That was my right. Mine.”

“Kyle, dear,” Gran started but my grandfather levelled her with a look and she pursed her lips.

“What happened? I want the truth, Dad. Right here, right now. I want to know everything. I deserve that much. You owe me.”

He flinched at my words, but I couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad. Finally, he stopped pacing and sat down with a defeated sigh. “She never truly disappeared.”

“What?”

“I first met Maria in senior year of college. She was so vibrant and passionate. The total opposite of me. I was so focused on the future. But we clicked. And I fell in love with her.”

I eyed my grandmother. She looked stricken. As if the memories were hard to hear.

“I didn’t realize she had a drug problem. I knew she liked to get high and party, but she worked hard in class and had plans for after college. She wanted to be an elementary teacher.” He smiled wistfully. “God, she was beautiful.”

“What happened?” I pushed, wanting to spare myself the intimate details of their doomed relationship.

“We had fun together, but I was young, ambitious. I wasn’t looking to settle down and Maria was a free spirit. We graduated and went our separate ways. I didn’t see her for almost a year after that. When she turned up on the doorstep, I recognized the signs straight away.”

Shit, it hurt to hear this. I’d asked for the truth, for this, but it was shredding me inside to hear the pain in his voice. 

“She’d been kicked out of home. She had nowhere to stay and didn’t know where to turn. I...” he glanced at my gran. “We took her in.”

“God, I was so mad at you,” she muttered under her breath and my grandad patted her hand. “But I couldn’t see that poor girl out on the streets.”

“She got clean. Got a job at a diner in town. And slowly we fell in love.” Dad shifted his attention back onto me. “You have to understand, Kyle, I loved your mom very much. When she found out she was pregnant, I was terrified. But there was never any doubt in my mind that we’d keep you.”

“But she didn’t feel the same?”

“She did. God, she wanted you so much. But the pregnancy was hard on her. She was sick, and her family still refused to forgive her. When you were born, she panicked. I saw it the second they handed you to her. The realization of what we’d done. What we’d created. But she had me and your grandparents and we were going to be fine, everything was going to be fine.”

But everything hadn’t been fine.

The lump in my throat grew until I felt like I was clawing for each breath.

“I’ve spent so long blaming her for walking away, but I think, deep down, I was always waiting for the morning I’d wake up and find her gone. I saw the signs and ignored them because I didn’t want to believe it. Having you was one of the greatest moments of my life and I guess, I didn’t want to accept that she didn’t feel the same.”

“Gentry, perhaps we should—”

“No, Mom. He deserves this, he deserves to know the truth.” Dad cleared his throat, loosening his collar. “She left a note. I never told you that. It said that she loved you very much but that she couldn’t be your mom. That you deserved better. Deserved more. But no matter where she went, how much distance was between you, she’d always be with you. I stewed on that note for weeks. Waiting for her to turn up and realize what a foolish mistake she’d made. When she didn’t, I finally accepted what I’d known all along. Your mother was an addict, Kyle. She was sick, and she needed help. So, I made a decision.”

“No,” Gran whispered at the same time as my grandad groaned. Whatever secret was about to unveil itself swirled around the three of them.

“He deserves the truth.”

“Dad?” I croaked barely able to form the word.

“I asked your grandfather to do something for me. To protect you. To protect our family. I asked him to find Maria and make her go away. For good.”

Every muscle in my body tensed. My heart lurched into my throat.

“Kyle, son, we never wanted to hurt you. You have to know that.” It was my grandad talking now. “We only did what we thought was best for you. For your future.”

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” My vision grew blurred.

“We gave her money in exchange for her promise that she would never try to see you.”

“You paid her to stay out of my life?” The room fell away.

“So she couldn’t hurt you. So she couldn’t do any more damage.”

“But you said it yourself, she was sick. Maria needed help. She needed rehab or therapy or something. She didn’t need an all-expenses paid trip to the getting-high-express.”

“It was for rehab. Or, at least, that’s what we hoped.”

“Did you know?”

“Know?” Dad’s eye widened at my question.

“Did you know she tried to kill herself?”

His silence spoke volumes.

“And it doesn’t bother you? It doesn’t keep you up at night knowing your bribe-money could have been the trigger? My God, what is wrong with you people? Is this what we do? Throw money at a bad situation?” I was up out of my seat now. “You people make me sick.”

“Did you know about Kiera? That I had a sister? Did you keep her from me too?”

“Kyle, please—”

“I don’t have to stick around and listen to this bullshit. I grew up hating my mother. Hating her to the point of not giving a shit whether she was dead or alive. Do you get that? Do you see how fucked up that is? I told my girlfriend my mother was dead. Dead. Because to me that’s how it’s always been. But she wasn’t dead, was she, Dad? She was told to stay away. You told her to stay away because a druggie mom was too much for you to handle. Because a woman like that would tarnish the Stone’s squeaky-clean reputation. That’s what all this is about, isn’t it? That Maria Lessinger, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, didn’t fit into your brand of perfect. Well, guess what, Dad? People make mistakes. And this, this web of lies you’ve weaved for all these years, is right there at the top.”

“Son, please, it isn’t like that. I made a mistake, I see that now, but we need to talk about—”

“Just answer me one thing.” I cut him off. “If she hadn’t gone against your rule and reached out to me would you have ever told me? Or would you have let me grow up and get old thinking she was just a deadbeat junkie mom who didn’t love me enough to stick around?”

Every last ounce of blood drained from Dad’s face until he looked ashen and the truth sucker-punched the wind right out of me. Because it was right there, written on his stricken expression.

He wouldn’t have told me.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse; reality as I knew it hit an all new level of messed up.