Chapter 12

Lauralee

Tyler walked me to my car after midnight and had a long talk about his ex and why he was concentrating on himself. I guess I couldn’t help but relate to him, though I did kind of feel like he was only saying those things to feel me out. I might have trusted his sincerity more if he hadn’t asked me out for the weekend. Like a hypocrite, I refused him on the basis that, in a sense, he was my employee, even though my father still ran the show. I didn’t think Daddy would appreciate me dating the hired hands, but then again, he’d barely tolerated Ted when we dated, so he probably wouldn’t find anyone good enough.

Tyler was nice enough to watch me drive away. I hoped that our next encounter wouldn’t be awkward. His friendship meant a lot, actually, and as I drove away, I hoped it would continue.

I’d managed to push Ted to the back of my mind until I turned down the long road that led me home. Passing Mr. Stutt’s house didn’t even distract me for long, though I did make a mental note to check up on the status of the property.

I kept seeing him leave with that girl, and how Ella followed him out shortly after. It didn’t matter if he left with her or not. I had a pretty good idea where they were ending up. Ella’s party. And Lucy was right. Ella arrived long enough to clear out most of the bar. She even invited me and Tyler before she left, but that wasn’t what rubbed me.

If Ted had been with Ella that would have been expected. But no, he had to run out with yet another of our town’s finest. Seeing them leave together had cut me to my core, and I had to excuse myself to the ladies’ room to keep Tyler from noticing the redness ringing my eyes. I regretted going out and wasn’t sure what I’d been trying to prove. I guess I hoped that somehow, some way, we’d end up together.

I’d been holding onto those secret wishes for too long. Six years too long if anyone was counting. I thought that maybe that sweet boy that I’d known, the one that kept my grandmother and Mrs. Dawson calling him Teddy, didn’t exist anymore, even though most others would put money on the fact that he never did.

I knew better though. There was a heart of gold under all the tarnish that was Theodore Ezra Dawson. I thought back to our first time, and how he’d been so tender with me. I had gone out to find my brother, who had sneaked off fishing with David. Ted was angry with his father that he had been put to work stacking hay on his own while Mason and Luke got to work on their FFA projects. I showed up about the time Ted shucked off his shirt and tossed it over the railing of the loft near the stairs. I will never forget my welcoming view, his tight abs and perfect, glistening chest, the sweat beaded on his forehead and his face red from heat.

He watched me climb the ladder and offered his hand as I reached the top. “Is Bailey around?”

He grinned and dropped his bale hooks. Before I could react, he pinned me against the railing. “You sure you came up here for your brother?” He held my waist gently, and I remember thinking that I had the hottest boyfriend on the planet. I couldn’t peel my eyes from his, and they smoldered as he leaned in. His thick-lashed lids closed as his lips met mine, and I melted against him, sweat and all.

His hands hitched me up, and before I could fear going over the rail behind me, he spun us, carrying me to the nearest busted bale that was scattered across the floor and lay me back beneath him. As he lowered himself atop of me, my palm flattened against his chest. “Bailey will find us.”

“He’s at the creek with David.” His eyes met mine, and with the slight lift of his brow, I realized we were alone. We’d dated for months and all the making out and heavy petting had led us to where we were. I wrapped a leg around his hips and pulled him into a deep kiss, exploring his mouth. The warmth of his flesh under my fingertips blossomed through me and I urged his hands under my shirt and into my bra. His hands were so rough against my breast as he groped and teased my nipple. I gasped at the pleasure when his mouth closed around it.

His mouth left me. “Are you all right? Is that okay?” I opened my eyes to find his were wide, almost panic-stricken.

“No, it’s fine. I was caught off-guard is all.” As we lay there staring into one another’s eyes, he pressed his erection against me. I tugged at his jeans. “Don’t stop this time.”

I could read the uncertainty in his eyes, but he finally nodded and leaned up to undo his pants as I slipped mine down, taking off my boots with them until we were both laid out in our undergarments.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered against my lips. “You’re my Lolly, aren’t you? My girl?”

I nodded as his hand slid down and nudged my panties aside. I remember hoping that finger wasn’t all he’d put inside me. I remember knowing there was no turning back as he pulled the foil wrapper from his wallet and sheathed himself.

We’d both wanted it for weeks, and though we hadn’t, until then, found the right moment or privacy, he was prepared. I remembered my heart pounding, not only from what we were doing but the fact that at any moment we could be caught. My Daddy would surely kill him. But Ted was so tender. He’d hesitated at every chance to assure I was okay and that it didn’t hurt. I’d lied, of course, but he saw it in my eyes. I was scared he’d quit, so I encouraged it. “Please, don’t stop.”

After, he lay there with me, kissing me softly until his breathing leveled against my ear. I glanced up to find him sleeping, and my laughter woke him. “We’re going to be murdered if our parents find us and we’ll wish we were if our brothers do.”

“I guess I’d have to marry you.” He shrugged, and the smile that spread his lips seemed so sincere that warmth rushed up my cheeks. “I’m serious. Someday.” He flattened my hand on his chest again, this time right over his throbbing heart.

“I feel it beating,” I said.

“Mhm, it’s yours. And this one.” He placed his hand above my breast. “Are you gonna let me keep it?”

I crushed my lips against his, only breaking away to gulp a breath of air and answer. “Yes.” I’d been so eager.

My eye caught a coon and her babies crossing in front of me, and I slammed my brakes, skidding to a stop in enough time to save the little ring-tailed family. I’d been so lost in my head I hadn’t seen them, and that would have been the icing on the cake of a shitty night. I don’t know why it surprised me that the memory had almost led to disaster. I waited while the little mama and her babies made it safely to the other side and then I finished the drive to my house.

I headed straight up to bed, careful not to wake the house, as Daddy and Granny were surely sleeping at opposite ends of the house, just close enough to me to warrant my tiptoes. I regretted thinking of Ted and me. Our first time was sweet and tender, but it only reminded me of our last. No amount of passion would bring him back to me or mend the wounds we each had. Our best chance was to stop the bleeding and try to remain friends.

It was going to be awkward enough working with him, and I had to go and relive the day I gave him my virginity, and worse, my heart. I wasn’t fooling myself. He’d always had it. What happened between us then and more recently, wasn’t going to change that. No matter how much he didn’t want it or care, it still belonged to him and always would.

He’d tried his hardest to make me hate him and this time was no different. I had half a mind to tell him off and quit, but then that wouldn’t do anything but hurt me. If I was going to go for my dream, I needed the job. Besides, it would take more than his man-whoring to run me off. I wasn’t about to let him think he’d gotten under my skin, and if he did have the balls to fire me, good luck getting Bailey to work for him. He better hope one of his whores knows how to run a farm.

I tossed and turned the rest of the night.