Chapter Twenty-Two
“Come back with me.”
Daniel and Tasha lay curled around each other on her bed. She felt so warm and sweet against him that he couldn’t keep the request inside a moment longer.
“Come back with you?” She blinked at him as though he’d just escaped from the nuthouse.
It was too soon, and he was adding one more layer of complication to her life, but he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her behind. “I want to spend more time with you, and my next trip to Tahoe is way too long to wait.” He stroked her arm, to calm her…and himself. “You can stay with me, if you want. Or you can get a hotel room, stay with a friend, even find an apartment. I just want you close. I want to see you every day like we do now. I want you to meet the guys’ wives and girlfriends, brothers, sisters, mothers.” He paused, wondering how hard to push. But he was already pushing so hard that he might as well go for broke. “I know my parents would love to meet you.”
The silence beat against his eardrums, her body so still he didn’t think she was even breathing.
Then finally, she said in a soft voice, “I want to say yes.” His heart leaped with joy, practically doing a jig around the room. “But I don’t know exactly where I’m going to be for a while.”
“Why?” The mere thought of losing her killed him. “Aren’t you planning to stay here in the cabin?”
“I was, but after I told you about my family, I realized I need to find my brother and father. I have to confront them. I have to know their criminal career is truly over. I want to believe my father learned something from this final scam—that losing me hurt enough to make him stop. But I won’t know for sure until I see him. Until I talk with him again—this time without the shock of realizing my perfect family life had been a big fat lie. Does that make sense?”
“Of course it does.” He was so proud of her for taking such a difficult step.
She breathed in deeply, then let it go on a long sigh. “I should have looked for them before now. You must think I’m a coward, hiding up here in the mountains for so long, and only putting out the first feelers online a couple of days ago.”
He cupped her face, rubbing his nose against hers, offering all his comfort. “You’re sexy and funny and smart and desirable and capable and honorable and the greatest thing since sliced bread. But never a coward. It was only natural to take some time to process how your family betrayed you. You can’t beat yourself up for needing that, Tasha.”
“I wish I’d gotten to this point faster.” Frustration ground in her voice. “I desperately want to make sure things are right for everyone who got hurt in the cons. I want them to have justice.” She scrunched her eyes shut. “And I need to see my brother and father again. Not only to hold them accountable for their actions, but to ask them why. Even if I can’t understand, I need to know.”
Given everything she’d said, he hoped she’d be pleased with what he’d already done. “The day you told me everything”—the day she’d begun to trust him—“I hired an investigator to search for any other victims of your father’s schemes.”
She clutched him fiercely, her gaze avid. “What have you found out?”
“The feds have done a lot, but my guy is continuing to follow the money trail.”
“Which means he hasn’t found anyone.”
“Not yet. But we already know most of the capital was returned. My guy has learned a few things.” Daniel had talked to his investigator while Tasha took the puppies for a quick walk this morning. “It turns out that while the feds already had an eye on the resort, it wasn’t until they found a wire transfer to your web design company that they started hitting the venture hard, because the name Summerfield had come up in connection with previous scams.”
“So you’re saying that in a way, I was the one who got my father caught.”
“Roundabout, yes.”
His heart throbbed with the aftereffects of an adrenaline rush as he waited for her response. He’d been worried about her reaction, that it would only heap more guilt on her. Yet he had no right to keep the truth from her.
Finally, she raised her clear blue gaze to his. “If I blame myself for not seeing the truth and somehow putting an end to the scam, then it doesn’t make sense to blame myself because the money he paid me is what led the investigators to him, does it?”
Relief whooshed through him. “That’s pretty much what I was thinking.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I should have told you earlier. And I probably should have let you know about the investigator before I called him.”
“You don’t want me to beat myself up for needing time to process. And I don’t want you to beat yourself up for being a take-charge kind of guy.” She nestled closer, and the feel of her was like finding total acceptance. “It’s who you are. You do what you think is right and ask questions later.” She paused for a second. “Is your investigator looking for my brother and father too?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t take things that far without your permission.”
“Please help me find them, Daniel.”
He stroked the hair from her face, trailing a finger down her cheek. “Anything for you.”
With all his heart, he held her tight. Yet the question weighed heavily between them.
She hadn’t said whether or not she’d come home with him.
* * *
Their time together rewound through Tasha’s brain. They’d laughed. They’d made glorious, sexy love. They’d peeled away layers of the past, layers of emotion. She’d never shared so much of herself with a man and now she knew why—sharing her body was nowhere near as intimate as sharing her thoughts, her feelings, her fears. She’d even told him about Eric. She had no more secrets.
She adored the Mavericks, and she wanted so badly to meet all the other people who loved Daniel. After hearing his stories, she’d practically fallen in love with his family herself.
But she’d made such huge mistakes in the past. She’d trusted when she shouldn’t have. She’d seen only the good in people until the bad had been shoved down her throat.
How was she supposed to know?
Really know?
His arm tight around her, he drew her up until she tilted her head to look at him, his lips achingly close. “I didn’t ask you to come with me to pressure you. I needed you to know what I’ve been thinking. Just because I’m there already doesn’t mean I expect you to feel the same.” His beautiful smile made her heart flutter when he added, “Yet.”
His confidence, his certainty—they were two of the things she loved about him. He always knew what he wanted and never gave up, going for his dreams with integrity, without screwing people over.
Daniel had taught her so many things in the past few days. After three long months of darkness, he’d shown her how to see the bright side again.
With his heartwarming stories about his mom, dad, sister, and the Mavericks, he’d proven that even if there was pain and struggle, family could still be loyal and trustworthy, that dishonesty wasn’t the norm.
He’d taught her what bravery felt like. What confidence and certainty could achieve in the face of the worst odds, as long as you never gave up, never stopped going for your dreams with integrity, never stopped being honest.
If she didn’t take this risk, she might never know how good it could be between them.
If she didn’t make the choice to trust him, she might never find the courage to trust at all.
And if she didn’t forgive herself for being blind to her father’s and brother’s faults, she might never live a whole and happy life.
Before her was an ocean of indecision, a mountain of fears, a continent of risk.
But there was also laughter. Trust. Sinfully sweet heat.
And Daniel.
Every cell of her body, and every piece of her heart, told her he was worth it.
“I want to go with you.”
“Are you sure?” He faltered as if afraid to believe it was true. “Even if you don’t know exactly where the search for your family will lead?”
He already felt like her family. He felt like home. “I’m sure.”
Taking her mouth, he kissed her so deeply she felt all the love inside him. All the joy. He locked his lips to hers until neither of them could breathe, backing off only enough to frame her face in his hands.
“I love you, Tasha Summerfield. I want you in my home. I want you in my life. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”
She swallowed, blinked, moisture blurring her eyes. Then she gave him—and herself—something she’d never thought she could offer again.
“I love you too. You’ve helped me see that I don’t need to keep punishing myself forever—and you’ve supported me every step of the way as I’ve emerged from my cocoon. I want to live again, Daniel. With you.”
* * *
He kissed her with every ounce of the love overflowing his heart, gathering her tightly to him, devouring her lips with all the feeling bursting out of him. When he couldn’t breathe anymore for want of her, when she pushed back to cup his face, peppering kisses on his mouth, his cheeks, his eyelids, he whispered, “I need to make love to you.” They’d been making love all along, but this was the first loving after those momentous words.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, her body pressed hard against him, she gave him exactly what he needed. “Yes, Daniel, make love to me. Never stop.”
He savored her words, the overwhelming emotions, and the bounty of her body, kissing his way down her throat to the pearled tips of her breasts. She arched, moaned, the sound rippling through him. He drank in her desire, relished the quake of her body and the sweet love words she cried out for him.
“Take me, Daniel. Take everything I am.”
“I love you, Tasha. So damned much.” Unable to wait another second to become one with her, holding her hips, he plunged inside her, so deeply he was sure their souls touched. “You’ll never be alone again, I swear.”
She cried out his name, and he took them both on a relentless ride to pleasure, to nirvana. They became one body, one mind, falling into bliss together, holding tight to each other.
He held her until his heart slowed, savoring the softness of her skin against him, the scent of her hair, the aroma of their loving. Her breathing leveled out into the gentle rhythm of sleep. He ached with the thought of moving her, waking her. This was too good to let go.
He’d fallen for her. Completely, irrevocably, wildly in love.
Tasha wasn’t perfect, no more than he was. Perfect didn’t exist, but real and good and loving and loyal did. She was beautiful, sensual, resourceful, and caring, but she also had real emotions, real fears, a real past. And just like a Maverick, she could move beyond the baggage.
All that meant it was long past time for him to move past his own baggage too. He needed to call his mother, to talk with her openly and honestly, to find out just what the heck, if anything, had happened between her and his father. He’d gone back and forth about telling the Mavericks, but in the end, he realized his whole dilemma had been nothing more than an excuse not to talk about it with the person he needed to: his mom. And while he was being totally honest, he hadn’t mentioned his fears to Tasha, not only because he didn’t want to burden her, but also because he’d been afraid to risk his heart for her that last little bit.
But Tasha’s love had changed him. She made him brave enough to reach out. Her love had shown him he could forgive even Evan’s mother for abandoning him. Her love gave him the strength he needed.
Easing away from Tasha’s body, Daniel pulled the blankets over her. After pulling on his pants and shirt, he carried his shoes out to the front porch, putting them on before he fished his phone out of his pocket.
His mother answered with, “Hello,” on the second ring.
Her greeting was another sign of that weirdness he’d been sensing. She had caller ID and she usually answered with an endearment.
He knew where he needed to begin. “I’ve finally found her, Mom. The woman I’m meant to be with.”
“Oh honey.” Emotion quavered in his mom’s voice.
“Her life’s a mess, and I don’t care. I always thought I was looking for perfect, for what you and Dad have, but Tasha makes me see how important it is to wade into the mess right along with her. To be there for her in any way she needs me.” He dropped his voice, closing his eyes to savor the words, the emotion. “I love her, Mom. And I need to help her heal her heart over things she’s not truly responsible for. To help her stop blaming herself.” He told her briefly about Tasha’s father and brother, about the scams they’d pulled.
“Sweetheart. I’m so sorry for everything she’s gone through. But you’ll help her see that she’s not to blame. It just takes patience and time. And she’ll understand eventually. As long as she has the man who loves her right beside her.” His mother sucked in a breath, and then she sniffled.
She was always emotional for her kids, hurting when they hurt, joyful when they found joy. But he knew this was different, that she was crying over whatever had been bothering her for days now.
He wasn’t afraid of hearing it anymore. Tasha had shown him there were no bumps that couldn’t be faced if you faced them with someone you loved.
Propping his elbows on his knees, he concentrated on his mother. “Is there something you haven’t told me, Mom? About you and Dad, I mean. I keep getting this sense…”
He heard her breathing, then finally she said in a low voice, “One of the hardest things to do is to stop blaming yourself.” After another deep breath, she swallowed audibly. “I still haven’t completely forgiven myself for what happened in the past.”
He thought of all the things someone could feel guilty about, certain that none of them could possibly be anything his mother was capable of. But he’d asked, and he was obliged to hear, no matter the cost. Just as he would do for Tasha.
“I’m listening, Mom. It’s okay. I’ll never judge you.”
After two quick but shaky breaths, she said, “I was pregnant with you before your father and I got married.”
Was that what she was worried about? Because it was no big deal. Lots of people got pregnant first, then married later. Even back in the eighties. There was no shame in that.
But before he could say this, she spoke again. “I didn’t tell your father. In fact, I broke up with him and didn’t even let him know the real reason why.”
Now that shocked the breath right out of him. His mother had always talked about openness and honesty. She’d kept something that major from his father?
Still, he’d asked. And he’d sworn not to judge. “It’s okay, Mom.” Maybe he was saying it to himself too.
As though she hadn’t heard him, she said, “I just couldn’t change Bob’s life that way. We didn’t have any money. And we were so young. My mother wanted me to give you away. She was so angry. She had all these hopes and dreams. That I’d go to college. That I’d get out of the neighborhood. She said I could never do that if I had a baby. But I wanted you, Daniel. I could never give you away. I just thought I had to make it on my own. So that Bob could make it out without me. So that he could be the one to go to college, to get out of that horrible neighborhood, to make something of himself, to have a chance at a better life.”
Though he struggled not to reveal it, Daniel reeled at her confession; how could he not? His mom had left his father. Daniel had always thought they were perfect right from the start—yet she’d doubted his father’s love, so much that she’d kept her pregnancy a huge secret from him.
“What happened?” He knew—they’d stayed together, of course—but now he needed to understand not only how, but why. Just as Tasha needed to understand her family.
“Your father never could take no for an answer.” His mother’s laugh was soft and heartfelt. “He kept showing up, kept asking me why, if there was someone else, if I’d stopped loving him. I swear he plain wore me down until I told him the truth.” She laughed again, this time with the hint of tears. “Saying it that way doesn’t do your father justice. He showed me so much love that he broke through all my fear and resistance, straight to my heart. He helped me grow strong. He didn’t have to insist we get married. He simply made me believe we could do anything as long as we were together.”
That sounded exactly like his father, like the man Daniel had always respected and loved. He just couldn’t believe his mom had been the one to give up.
Daniel thought of Tasha once more. She thought she was weak, and yet she was so strong, finding the courage to reveal her past, not just to him, but to the Mavericks. She’d found the courage to search for her father, her brother. Compared to the things Tasha had been through, Daniel’s life had been easy. Because of the love of his parents. Because they believed in him. Because they’d never given up on him.
But maybe you couldn’t learn how to give that kind of love and unconditional acceptance without hitting some hard bumps of your own. Maybe it was the bumps that taught you what was worth fighting for. And maybe it was surviving the worst of those bumps that made a person truly special.
Like Tasha.
Like his dad.
Like the mother he loved, respected, and cherished.
“I’m so glad you said yes to Dad.”
“It wasn’t all roses after that, sweetheart. I wish it had been. My parents stopped speaking to me. My mom said if I was going to be an idiot, she was washing her hands of me.”
He’d never known his grandparents on either side, but he’d always thought it was because they’d died when he was only a toddler, not because his mom’s parents had disowned her. His dad’s father had died before Daniel was even born, his mother passing maybe a year afterward.
“I’m so sorry your mother didn’t support you.”
“Thank you, honey.” But his mother’s story didn’t end there. “The pregnancy wasn’t as easy as I’d thought it would be. I worried every second of every day. The last couple of months, I had to go on bed rest or I might have lost you. And I’ve always felt it was my fault because I worried myself sick. We didn’t even have my income then. It was so hard on your father. He was working two jobs, sometimes three, just to make ends meet.”
“Mom.” Daniel wished now he’d asked these questions when he could see her, put his arms around her, tell her how much he loved her, no matter what. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“That’s what your father always said. But I kept hearing my mother’s voice in my head. And I kept thinking that if I’d done things differently, then maybe it wouldn’t all be so difficult, so terrifying. After you were born, your father was the one who kept reminding me that if things hadn’t happened just as they did, we wouldn’t have you. That you might have been someone completely different. And I love you so much exactly the way you are.”
He felt her love. He always had. He’d just always believed that his parents had taken events in their stride. That they had each other and there were never any questions, never any secrets. No big bumps that might have destroyed them.
“Later,” she said, “when things were a little better, when both of us knew we had to have a bigger family, I was pregnant a couple of times. But I lost those babies. And it felt like punishment for running away from your father, for not trusting him enough to know he’d take care of us. Like I’d only ever have that one chance. Only with you.”
“Mom, please. You can’t blame yourself for the miscarriages.” But it did explain why his mother had steadfastly stood by Whitney during all three of hers, why she’d felt so much sympathy. Until Whitney’s terrible lies had come out. “And then you had Lyssa.”
“I know it’s probably hard for you to understand how the mind works sometimes. But everything was so different with Lyssa. We’d waited so long for her to come along. And I felt guilty about that too, as if somehow I’d betrayed you by feeling so much better about that pregnancy.”
“Mom,” he said, determined to make her see, “you’re way too hard on yourself. Remember what I said about Tasha, about her family? She blames herself, but all those things were beyond her control. It’s the same for you. You got pregnant out of wedlock and you did the best you could to deal with it. With me. You didn’t do anything terrible.”
In fact, she’d been admirable. She’d always been admirable. Just like Tasha, who thought of the misery of her father’s victims, who worried that her brother had been sucked into something he didn’t want, who blamed herself instead of the true culprits.
“Mom, you have to stop blaming yourself.”
His mother sighed as if her burden were as heavy now as it had been back then. “Your father has said the same thing for years. And truly, Bob was the one who helped me look on the bright side again. Without him, I don’t think I could have done it. But honestly, I thought I’d put it all behind me. But then when you were telling me about your quandary over Tasha, I realized I’d given you false expectations. That you believed everything had to be perfect. That the slightest mess meant nothing could work out. That love was no good if it wasn’t smooth sailing. But no relationship is smooth sailing all the time. The only thing that matters is that your father never gave up on me—and he showed me I didn’t have to give up on myself, or on us either. In the end, that’s the most important thing of all. It’s the lesson I wish I’d taught you.”
“It is the lesson I’ve learned. I love you. I love Dad. You’re both the greatest parents, with or without bumps along the way. And I’m not giving up on Tasha. Not ever. You taught me that, Mom. You and Dad. And you’ve also helped me see that no matter what, I can’t live without her.”
“Sweetheart, I love you so much.” His mom was openly crying now. “I hope you’ll forgive me for not telling you sooner.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Mom. I love you and Dad exactly the way you are.”
He wanted Tasha to forgive herself for what happened with her family, to accept that not everything had been her fault. The same was true for his mother, who had heaped guilt on herself all this time.
Daniel’s father had helped her move past it. And he finally understood what he should have known all along: That was what true love was all about—not the absence of bumps, but how those bumps brought you closer together.
Now he just had to prove the same thing to Tasha.