CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Even as Mia drowned in comfortable exhaustion, her anxious mind sat ready to taunt her. Lazy seconds lounged into hushed minutes in the twilight-lit room. Purple shadows cascaded from the picture window. Deep oranges tempered in the setting sky. The knowing air loomed in the bedroom, a million times heavier than the emotional weight of his words.
I’ve needed you my whole life. His words danced in her head and seared into her memory. What would he have said if she hadn’t cut him off? What did she want him to say? Something. Nothing. Everything. Who knew? Guessing made her heart and her head pound, one right after the other, seesawing in a brutal clash.
She hurt for wanting something so fleeting and so dangerous. The moments when she tried to reason away her feelings for Colby were absurd.
Absurdity was ignoring the jump in her stomach when he gave a languid smile or the warm rush when he stepped close. Absurdity was avoiding the glimmer of optimism. She wasn’t destined to be alone and didn’t have to feign imaginary interest in the boring and untrustworthy.
If she knew there were men like Colby Winters running around, she wouldn’t have given up in a shrug of disinterest. Now, every slow kiss and every sweeping glance was loaded with potential.
Gathered into his possessive hold, his sated breaths airily contradicted every one of his unyielding mannerisms. Mia just existed in the moment. No worries. No fears. No future. No past. Just now. Him and her. She burrowed against his chest.
“I thought you were asleep,” he whispered.
Scorching shivers washed across her warm skin. She could lie and say she just awoke, but there wasn’t a reason. He brushed her hair with the tips of his fingers, slow and soft, like she was his to cherish.
“I feel safe.” That wasn’t a lie.
“Good. You should.”
“I don’t mean from the hell that’s been chasing us. I mean from the hell that I’ve ignored for the better part of my life.”
“Good.”
“Very short and sweet, Colby.”
“Baby, if you want to talk about what happened, go for it. I’m listening. But you know, I’m no angel, and I’m not finished dancing with the devil. If anyone ever hurts you like that again, there’s nothing I won’t do to protect you. To make sure you’re never hurt again.”
She nodded. He was an angel to her, no matter who he danced with.
He traced the scar under her chin. “This mark is a call to arms. This made me angry, hateful, and full of a vicious need for vengeance.” He kissed her bare shoulder. “But I didn’t need to see scars to know the day I met you, my world changed.”
She had fought the urge to cry like she avoided his closeness. Again, tears begged for release. Her eyes burned. Her throat was raw. But, in his arms, with his words, it was finally okay to cry.
Mia didn’t move. She didn’t sniff or sob. But cleansing tears escaped.
“Are you crying?”
Again, no point in lying. She smiled. “Yes.”
Colby leaned over, pressing her into the bed. His jaw flexed, and he locked his eyes with hers. Such intensity. Her stomach flipped, sending a rush from her head to her toes.
“Sweet Jesus, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No. No, this is… welcome.” She snorted. Very attractive.
He laughed at her oh-so feminine laugh. “If you say so, Dr. Freud. Smiling and crying don’t mix.”
“They do right now.”
“And why is that?”
“Because my world changed, too.”
That was an understatement if there ever was one. Was there a handsome man and even a dog in her future? Years of studying psychology went out the door. None of this made sense. Nothing was practical. But here she was, a veteran gunfight spectator and kidnapping survivor. Liberated with simple words from a warrior.
Liberated. She played with the idea, turning the word over in her head. Liberated worked and was the truth. That was an accomplishment and, because of it, she earned anything she wanted. A fluffy puppy with an appropriate name like Killer or Slayer. A sexy man who wanted nothing more than to keep her safe and in bed. Life was marvelous.
“What do you think about dinner?” he asked.
“I’m not hungry.”
“No, I mean, do you want to go to dinner tomorrow night?”
“Like a date?” Even as the shadows faded over the room, she saw him blush.
“Yes, like a date, doll. Like candlelight and roses.”
A date with candlelight and roses? He surprised her when she least expected it, though that was the exact definition of surprise. A suit and dress shirt on his solid body might be her greatest weakness. Would she be able to hold a decent conversation while admiring the view?
Her heart sunk. So close and she was going to ruin it. “All I have to wear are your mom’s sweatpants and shirt. Very sexy.”
“We can remedy that hiccup.”
“What? You’re going to be my white knight fashionista?”
“I’m your whatever-it-takes-to-keep-you-happy-ista.”
Whatever it took? She should define that so he wasn’t left grasping at assumptions in the proverbial dark.
“I can run out tomorrow morning and pick something out,” she said.
“No sweater sets. Or khaki pants.”
She could hear the smile in his voice. “I don’t always wear that. I just didn’t plan on more than one outfit on my excursion to Louisville.”
“You need something short and tight.”
She laughed. “Making requests?”
“And low cut.”
“Colby!” Her cheeks heated. “I can dress myself, thank you very much.”
“Just letting you know where my mind is. Are you all done with your smiling tears?”
Her nerves tinged. Was all this to make her stop crying? “You don’t have to take me to dinner to make sure I’m not crying on your watch.”
“No you don’t, Mia. No rebuilding those walls.”
“I’m not—”
“The hell you aren’t. I’m taking you out because you like that stuff, and I like you. Simple. Don’t you shrinks know how this stuff works? All that making you happy, makes me happy bullshit?”
“I’m not a shrink.”
“But you are missing the point. On purpose, I’d assume.”
“I don’t have my credit cards or cash. I need to—”
“Cash is in the drawer in the kitchen, next to the surveillance camera you kept eyeing. Cars are in the garage. Take your pick. Keys are on a peg board next to the door.”
“I’m not taking your money.”
“You think I care about coin after dodging bullets with you? But if you’d rather just go to dinner in my mom’s sweats, cool by me, doll. I don’t care. I was just giving you my wish list. As long as you’re there, I wouldn’t notice your clothes.”
“Uh.” What to say to that?
“Tell me when and where you want to go, and I’ll make sure I’m there. Or someone from Titan, for your protective detail. I have to work sometime in the morning, but after that, we’ll do whatever you want.”
“Thank you.” Whatever she wanted? Staying right here was top on her list. Mia leaned up and kissed him. “Do you still have the NOC list?”
“I do. It’s safe.”
“Why do you still have it?”
“I’m only going to give it to my boss. He wasn’t there, and I didn’t stick around.”
“After we get rid of it, I’ll be safe?”
“In theory.”
“Very reassuring. How about in reality?”
He didn’t answer. That was several versions of concerning.
“Colby?” Worst case scenarios would begin forming if he didn’t answer soon. Heck, in the back of her mind, they’d already started.
“In reality, the fuckers will be pissed. They’ll want to do something about it. We’ll make sure they engage Titan, not you, and we’ll all come to an understanding.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means we work out an agreement. You won’t be worth pursuing, because the cost will be too high.”
“The cost?”
“Their resources. Their men. They’re all the way in South America. Once they know they can’t get that list, anything they do will be out of retaliation. But they’re businessmen. Everything has a price. A cost of what their time and interest is worth. Eventually, they move on. It’s dirty dollars and cents.”
“So more people will get hurt. You can get hurt.” Her voice sharpened.
“We’ve already had that conversation. I won’t get hurt.”
“Now, I’m calling bullshit. You can get hurt. You can die.” This wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to forget the nightmare they survived and live it up in a fairy tale world. But no, he wanted to go play cops and robbers again.
“Honey, this is what I do. It didn’t change because Clara came into my life, and it’s not going to change because I’m all wrapped into you. I’m sorry.” His fingers drew down her arm, around her elbow to her wrist. “This is complicated, but I promise I’ll keep you safe, and I’ll always come home.”
The room was dark, with the setting sun long gone into the night. Moonlight bathed them, casting a milky glow across the light carpet.
“When this is over, when you don’t have to protect me, do you still want to see me?” She draped her arm over her face, hiding from his answer. If he said no, the moon would drop from the cloudless sky, leaving it sad and inky.
“Of course I do. I’m not making up the things I say for your benefit,” he said, rubbing her arm.
“You’re making it up for yours?”
He shook his head, coiling his arms around her. “Silly girl. Let me rephrase. Everything I’ve done is for your benefit, but I’ve never lied to you. We have something special. So let’s play it out one day at a time and see if it works for us. Maybe you’ll hate me on our date. Maybe you’re just using me for the sex.”
“Maybe I am.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me.”
His phone rang from the nightstand. He unwound himself from her and answered. A few short words later, he was back by her side.
“So that was the bad guys calling in their surrender?” She laughed softly.
“You’re cute when you say bad guys. But nope. I have to be at the office at stupid o’clock in the morning.”
“What?”
“Early. I have to head to Titan way earlier than I wanted. So when you wake your adorable head up in the morning, you’ll be all alone. Sorry about that.”
“I suppose now you’ll tell me we have to sleep while in bed.”
They laughed together. The moment was so comfortable and fun.
“Guess so. But there’s an upside. I can vouch these sheets are softer and cleaner than that motel room’s.” He kissed her nose. “Besides, I need my beauty sleep. Hot date tomorrow.”
“Oh, me, too.”
“Must be one lucky bastard.” He gave her another kiss. “Sweet dreams, princess.”
If she had penned all her dreams and wishes and desires, this wouldn’t have made it on to the top one hundred list. It wouldn’t have made it on to the world-is-ending-time-to-make-a-list list. She wasn’t creative enough and didn’t aspire grand enough.
Never would she have envisioned a battle-tried hero offering a fantasy date and calling her princess. Never would that man fall asleep with her in his clutches. Twice. In a row.
Never.
But he was here. And this was happening. It was her unknown dream come true.